134. Why you’re not living your best life | Breakthrough

I'm Travia Steward, and I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. This episode of the Breakthrough Podcast is sponsored by Limitless. Are you settling for a lackluster relationship? Working more for less pay? Consistently being taken advantage of? A job you no longer enjoy? A career that is unstimulating, feeling unhealthy and exhausted, or even living paycheck to paycheck? And have you found yourself asking, is this as good as it gets? Well, the answer you've been looking for is in my new signature program, Limitless. Limitless is the program created and designed to help you to stop settling in major areas of your life and unleash your potential and create what you really want to create in your life. In Limitless, You will step into your power to set healthy boundaries, to demand more of yourself and others, to ignite your purpose and passion, to clear out that head trash that keeps you from taking action. And in Limitless, you will close the gap between where you are now and where you really desire to be. So join us on this journey of reinvention to discover and create the person you were meant to be. Join the waitlist for Limitless at traviesteward.com/limitless. Don't wait one moment longer because it's time to put yourself first. It's time to reimagine your life. This is your time and it just takes one decision. Join the waitlist for Limitless today at traviesteward.com/limitless. Doors to Limitless open on August 1st. Let's go. Happy Podcast Tuesday. I just want to take a moment and thank those of you who continually listen to the podcast. This is something that's so near and dear to my heart. And I know that, you know, it's kind of like Scott, you know, Southwest Airlines. You have many options that you could choose from, but I thank you for listening to this podcast. Even if you don't listen to every episode, if you just have caught one episode, or maybe this is just your first episode, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I do hope that you continue listening and let me know if I can speak about or answer any specific questions that will continue to provide value for you. All right, let's jump into the episode. So Last week I talked about the number one belief that everyone needs. This is a belief that I needed that propelled me to stop settling in my own life. And when you believe this belief, you begin to have a vision that, you know, for the life that you really want to create. And again, that belief is that you are meant for more. And let's talk about what a vision for your life is, you know. So we all have an idea, we all have this vision of our life, whether we're aware of it or not. You see, your vision is the mental projection, it's the mental picture of maybe a bigger, a brighter future that we feel called to. It could be something as simple as, you know what, one day I want to quit my job, one day I want to find a partner, you know. It could be something way more more ambitious, like making a certain amount of money, starting a business, you know, um, delivering a TED Talk, whatever that thing is. It could be paying off debt, moving and, and building your dream house. It could be starting your own business. The importance about having a vision is because this gives us something to strive for. It's what motivates us to get out of bed in the morning, and it's what keeps us going even when things get tough. And so having a vision is really only one part of the equation. So what I want to delve into is we have a vision for our life, but we also have what I've learned from my work with Tony Robbins, that we also have a blueprint for our life. And our blueprint is the core expectations of how we believe life should be at 48 or 50. What you believe you should be doing at that age is your blueprint. These are your core expectations, and this is a set of beliefs that we have about ourselves, about the world, about other people, about what should be present in my life after I've done all the things. And now here I am, and when I dreamt about what my life would be like, you know, at 45, at 50, that would be your blueprint, your core expectations. I remember when I was in college and I was like, you know, I took out these student loans because this was after I'd finished playing softball. And I wasn't really thoughtful about the financial burdens that I was incurring. And so I remember taking out these student loans because my core expectation, my blueprint, I always dreamt and dreamed that I would make a lot of money, that I would be someone who was well known, that, you know, back then I was like, oh, I want to be an actor, I want to be a director, I want to be a lighting designer. But I always thought no matter what I chose, that I would make a lot of money. Well, then I went into teaching and that certainly didn't happen. You don't make a whole lot of money teaching, right? So that blueprint shifted a little bit, right? But I always imagined that it would happen in some form or fashion. I also, and this may be something that I learned from others, it may be something that, you know, grow up, growing up, these are the expectations that I had because of coming from a family where my mom had 5 kids and the expectant thing to do is to go get married, have kids, all the things, have a white, a house with a white picket fence. And for a moment in my 20s, that window opened for, I really want to have a kid. That window opened for about 90 minutes, right? Because once I thought about it, it's like, Is this something that I want, or is this something that I'm expected to have? Is this something that's part of my core expectations? Is it something that's part of my blueprint? And I recognized that it really wasn't, because it wasn't something that I naturally wanted myself. It was just something that I thought I was supposed to do. And so getting down to the core of your blueprint A person's life has to match their blueprint in order for them to be happy. And so when we talk about, you have a blueprint on one side and then you have your current life on the other, on the other side of the page. If those two things don't align, there is a level of unhappiness. If you feel like you should be making a certain amount of money, then any kind of money less than that amount that you dreamt, causes you to be unhappy because it's like, this is not where I expected my life to be. If you expected that, you know, you had this dream vision that you were going to get married one time, that you were going to have a kid, you were going to have actually two kids, one boy, one girl, and the girl and the boy was going to be older than the girl. And then when those things don't line up, if something happens in the marriage to where the marriage is dissolved, your blueprint is like shot to hell and you want to do whatever it takes to reinvigorate, to stay consistent with that blueprint. So again, I want to really get this point across. When your blueprint, your core expectations of how life should be, don't match your current life, we are often unhappy. And so when we talk about the blueprint, we talk about the vision for our life, there are things that are foundationally even below that. And I'm talking about your needs, the things that make us feel safe. We have physiological needs, you know, do we have enough food to eat? Is there shelter? Do I have clothing? You know, safety needs. We have, you know, employment. Do I have a job? Do I— am I healthy? Do I have a home to live in? We have love and belonging. You know, do we have friendships and intimacy and family? You know, how do I feel about myself in the level of esteem, self-esteem, status, recognition? And then Maslow's tip of the triangle is self-actualization, the desire to become the most one can be. And so when we get down to our primary needs, you know, the income, like, are we making enough money? Health, you know, food, sleep, shelter. And then we build up on the triangle. It's the tertiary, secondary needs. Those are our wants and values. And I know this sounds like gibberish that I'm talking about, but the reason why I'm bringing this up is because we can have values in our lives and we can have wants in our lives, but ultimately if our needs, if our primary needs are not met first of all, all that other stuff goes out the window. Our vision goes out the window. That blueprint goes out the window because how can you think about something that you wanna do, a value like love and connection when you can't pay your rent? How can you think about, you know, I have this dream home when you don't have a job? So our needs, our primary needs have to be met first. And then when we're talking about those primary needs, I also learned from Tony Robbins that there are the 6 human needs. So let's say we have that foundational level of our primary needs being met. We have a job, we have a home, we have, you know, maybe someone that makes us feel loved, we have a relationship, we have shelter, we have, you know, things that make us feel safe and secure. Now when we jump down to the 6 human needs, we have certainty. We have uncertainty, we have significance, we have love and connection, growth, and contribution. And the reason why these things are important is because every individual person walking this earth is driven by these needs. And those of you who have been around for a, a little while with this podcast, you have heard me talk about my top values. My top value is health because if I don't have my health, I don't have anything because your health is your wealth. And then my second value is love and connection. This is exactly where this value comes from. This is the reason why I've combined it. It's because of the 6 human needs, because that's so important to me. And then my third is my business, because if it's not in my top, you know, 3 values and how I spend my time and, and, and, and how I want to walk through the world, then it's not very important to me. That's what I firmly believe. And so one of the needs of these 6 human needs that's important, love and connection. But you know what, what actually cancels out love and connection is certainty. I need to have a level of certainty where I know where my next meal is coming from. This certainty goes hand in hand with your primary needs. You want to know that you're safe. You want to know that you have a job. You want to know that you're loved. You want to know that you have someone to come home to at night. Or at the end of the day. And so all of these things basically guide how you move through the world. And so when we think about it, the menu for happiness, we all have things that we value in life. We all have these core expectations in our blueprint and our vision for life. But what cancels out those values and those visions are our needs. So our values and, and wants go right out of the window if our needs are not met. So what does this mean? I believe that there are several reasons why we don't have what we want in life. We don't have it because we don't believe we can have it. Our behavior and patterns are not aligned. Our primary needs are not met, so we can't realistically think about and pursue wants and values. And then what I'm talking about on this episode is our current life doesn't match our blueprint and we don't know where to go in order to fix that. So if you are someone who has a vision for their life that you are intentionally pursuing, I want you to think about this one question. What is your relationship to that vision? Are you honoring it or are you repelling it? Are you excitedly embracing it or are you fearfully rejecting it? Even when you say you want it. You see, when you live so powerfully into that vision and you be it so that you can become it, things begin to happen because so many of us spend more time in why it can't happen, why it won't happen. Instead of spending time believing and embracing that it will happen. We spend so much time projecting what we think may happen based on what happened in our past, our past experiences still contributing to our present lives. And ultimately, you are where your attention is. So if we're repelling it, if we're always thinking about the negative, we cannot make those visions happen because We can't even see it, even if it is happening, because that's not where our attention is. And so I want you to think about your blueprint, your core expectations, and your current life. Which one do you need to shift? Is it that you need to go back and shift your blueprint of what you thought life would be like at the age that you are? Or do you need to shift your life conditions, the, the life you're living today? And the reason why I continue to do this work, that I am driven and propelled to do this work, is because I firmly believe that it is my job, it's my purpose, it's my mission to get as many of you as I possibly can out of the audience of their life, out of the stands or the sidelines of life, and get you into creating the life that you really want. And in Limitless, we get to the core of this. We get to the core of your blueprint. We get to the core of your life conditions. We get to the core of what's creating the results that you actually don't want so that we can align things to create the results that you do want. And we shift what needs to be shifted so that you're working towards that vision that excites you and fulfills you. So guys, as I wrap up in this podcast episode, we talked about the importance of having a vision and the role that your blueprint, your blueprint plays in your overall level of happiness and when unhappiness sets in when those things don't match up. We talked about why so many of us don't have what we want in life. You see, my, my Limitless program can help you shift what needs to be shifted so you can start living the life that you deserve. If you are ready to create a life that you love, I encourage you to check out the Limitless program. It's a powerful system that will help you clarify your vision and take action towards your goals. In Limitless, you will learn how to create a vision that excites and fulfills you. You'll discover your core beliefs about yourself. You'll learn how to align your behavior and patterns with your vision, and you'll get support and guidance that you need along the path of achieving these goals that you want to create the beautiful life that you really wanna live. And so if you're ready to take the next step towards living a limitless life, I encourage you to sign up for the waitlist for Limitless at traviestewart.com/limitless. Doors to Limitless open next Tuesday, August 1st. All right, my peeps, have a most beautiful rest of your week. And thank you so much for listening. And I appreciate you so much. All right, my peeps, go join the waitlist for Limitless. I cannot wait to work with you. Peace.