152. Are you happy with your 2023? | Breakthrough: The Gen X Podcast for Becoming the best YOU

I'm Travia Steward, and I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. Yo, what's up, my peeps? Today is December 12th when this episode is coming out, and I know it's been a couple weeks since you have heard from me, and I really sincerely apologize for that. You know, those of you who keep up with me, and if you've been listening to every episode of the podcast, you know that I just went through a total knee replacement because it's important for me to change my body for my life rather than changing my life and omitting things because of, you know, a limitation with my body, like for instance with my knee. And the recovery is going well. You know, I have a great PT. I'm going to Move Performance over in Chandler, Arizona with Chad and Jackie Dunn. And you know, those guys are fantastic. And I know that I'm going to be back on the pickleball court probably sooner than I would have been going other places. You know, they really, really motivate you. The environment motivates you to get after it because there's all these, you know, these young athletes in high school and college and, You know, it's just not about, you know, let's rehab. It's about performance as well. So I've really enjoyed being able to, you know, do my physical therapy at Move Performance. And so as this episode comes out, I am now 5 weeks post-op. And what that means is I am, you know, really working on getting the knee to bend. You know, I'm working on getting my extension to zero, that mean, you know, the straight leg, like where if you're sitting down on the floor, you want your, the back of your knee to touch the floor where your extension is zero. And so, because all of it really affects how you work, how you walk. So it affects your gait, it affects, you know, if I'm limping all the time, then my hip starts hurting. So this has been a process, it will continue to be a process. And, you know, having a total knee replacement is no small feat. It takes a toll on, you know, how you feel. I have been really, really fatigued a lot, and so the couple times when I sat down to do a podcast episode, which is why I'm now apologizing, it was as if my brain, like, the ideas just, you know, were not coming as quickly as I'm used to them coming. And so I was like, uh, you know, I think I'm just gonna skip this week. And so again, I apologize. And so I hope you, you, my listeners, I hope you forgive me for this. So that's a little bit of an update as to why I've been missing for the last 2 weeks. And it's a little update on my knee replacement that I had in early November. So today where I want to jump in is I want to talk about, are you happy with your 2023? So today is December 12th, and as we get ready to, you know, round out the year and look forward to 2024, it's really— it's hard to believe how quickly this year has actually flown by. I mean, it feels like it was just yesterday that, that even I was setting goals and making plans for 2023. But yet here we are already reflecting on what we accomplished, our achievements, what we didn't accomplish, setbacks that may have or may not have taken place in 2023. And the thing about once December gets here, I love to not wait till January 1st, but I love to do this reflection so that I can learn from all the things that I did in 2023. That either got me closer to my goals or pulled me further away from my goals. And so I love to do this in the month of December. And as a coach, even working with my clients, I take some time, I take a few weeks off so that I can do this work myself. I don't just ask my clients to do it. I don't just do it with them. I do this work myself so that when 2024 actually turns on the calendar, I am ready because I have done the reflection that I'm going to ask you to do today. And so I find this, this work incredibly valuable, you know, because it helps us to gain insights into what worked and what didn't, you know, rather than just going, well, you know, are we just gonna, you know, make 2023 just a wash and we're just going to ignore it like it never happened and we're just going to look forward to 2024? Well, we don't learn anything if we don't reflect, because we want to really have a clear understanding of what maybe we should keep doing, maybe what we should omit. And so I have some questions that, you know, for those of you who actually do this work that I'm asking you to do on the podcast and the reflecting, I have some questions that I'm going to give you in a few minutes as to, you know, maybe you will you know, write them down in your journal, that, you know, you would do this work and really, really take the time in quiet to reflect. Because we want to reflect and examine and maybe even re-examine our goals and our values. What's important to us? Because doing this reflection, on the next episode, we're going to talk about how that— how are we going to, you know, What's 2024 gonna look like? So before we get to that episode, we're going to talk about reflection for 2023, because if we don't take time to think about it and, and it, and, and reflect on what has happened, then we don't have a sense of, of renewed purpose, or we don't know the direction, what's working and what's not, right? Because this is an opportunity to realign ourselves with what truly matters.. And right now we want to make the necessary adjustments on our journey, on our path, okay, with the plan that we have. And so I want you to use this reflection as a way to build confidence and resilience on what you and I, we can accomplish in 2024. We want to acknowledge the challenges we've overcome. We want to develop a stronger belief in our abilities to tackle further obstacles, because this reflection is not about beating yourself up. It is not about looking at all the ways you didn't achieve something. It's a way of going, what can I celebrate? What am I grateful for? What can I take into 2024 that I did well? And I want you to search for those little gems of things that you did do well. And so, you know, most importantly, I want this reflection to be a source of motivation and a direction that you want to take your future. And so this motivation, this direction can have a profound impact on your dreams and aspirations that you want to accomplish in 2024. Because everything that we do, every choice that we make, either brings us closer to our goal or further away from actually creating the life that we envision for ourselves. So when you think about 2023, This is the time to grab your journals right now. And you know, this may be an episode where you go back and listen, listen to it a couple times because of the way I'm going to ask you to reflect on it. And so the first thing I want you to think about is how do you want to reflect on your 2023? Are you going to think about, well, what were the goals that I wrote down December of last year or January of 2023? What were the goals I achieved? What were the goals I did not achieve? You know, are you going to look at, you know, a certain amount of money? You may have wanted to increase your finances. You wanted to make more money. You know, expectations that you met or didn't meet. But what I want to ask you to do is reflect using these very specific questions. First of all, we want to go into this reflection celebrating. What can you celebrate from 2023 that you're proud of? Really, really find like 10 things that you can list, because this level of gratitude and celebration is a great foundation and a great jumping point to the rest of the work that we're going to do. So again, we don't want to beat ourselves up about what we didn't accomplish in 2023. We want to now find what are things that I can celebrate and things that I'm proud of that I did, or maybe that I didn't do, that you didn't do in 2023. And then I want you to, on the next number 2, I want you to go, what am I grateful for? Because we always want to be grateful, you know. We don't want to be those people who, you know, are just always, you know, negative about something. We're always complaining about what we didn't do, you know. Oh my God, you know, we just We're just so ungrateful for our lives. There's so much in life that we can be grateful for. And so I want you to come up with 10 different things that you're actually grateful for. And then number 3, one thing that I talk about a lot on this podcast, and I know I talk about it, you know, in the beginning of the year, is how did you feel the majority of 2023? And was it different than 2022? You know, I wanted to feel invigorated. I love to feel energized. And, you know, and when I think back on my 2023, did I feel invigorated? You know, was it different than 2022? Was I, you know, sad? Were you sad? Were you feeling despondent in 2022, and then you went into 2023 feeling despondent again? So I want you to think about how did you feel the majority of 2023, because everything that we want in life is either because we wanna feel a certain kind of way, usually that's going towards pleasure, or we want to avoid feeling a certain kind of way, and that's like really running from pain. So how did you feel the majority of 2023? And then number 4, what was your attitude in 2023? Were you someone who believed, you know, I got this, you know, yes, this was a failure this last week, today, or whatever, but you know what? I can get up more times than I fall down. What was your attitude in 2023? Because attitude has so much to do with our self-image. And if we don't have the attitude for growth and, you know, mindfulness and being aware of what we're doing and who we're being, our attitude, you know, can make or break what we're trying to accomplish as well. And then number 5, if you're thinking about like maybe something big, like a goal that you set at the beginning of 2023, And if that thing didn't happen, I want you to think right now, did you make excuses as to why it didn't happen? And what were those excuses? Because looking back right now, and I want you to look at it like from a neutral point, not personalizing everything. Look at it from a neutral point as if you're looking at someone else's situation. And I want you to go, what were those excuses that you made for not going after the goal, for not going all in? And then number 6, what habits prohibited you from accomplishing them? You know, because there's— if you're someone who wants to lose a significant amount of weight and you're like, I started off January, you know, by mid-February I stopped going to the gym. So what was the habit that prohibited it? Was it sleeping in? Was it turning off your, your alarm clock? What were those habits that prohibited you from accomplishing a big goal. Number 7, I want you to look at your relationships. Which relationships drained you that you don't really want to carry into 2024? And then I want you to think about, well, which ones energized you that you do want to carry into 2024? Because I want you to think about your tribe, right? And the next one is number 8, your tribe. Did you create your tribe? Because we are the expectations of the 5 people we spend the most time with. So were you able to create and grow and, and, and be motivated from your tribe? Because this is so important when we surround ourselves with the people that motivate and inspire and empower us. And then number 9, how did you navigate saying no to the things that you didn't want to do? So per— you know, honestly, I work with a lot of people who are like I find it difficult saying no to my family. I'm a people pleaser. So I want you to think about, were you still people pleasing as much as you were in 2022? How did you navigate saying no to things that you did not want to do? And this is what we're talking about, setting boundaries. And then let's talk about number 10, because again, this is about being grateful and celebrating as well. What did you improve in your life that led to Better health, you feeling better, better relationships. What did you improve? You know, it could have been habits, behaviors, those types of things. And then number 11, did you step outside of your comfort zone to make something happen? Because what happens is we have a goal, we have like looking at it like two islands. We have where we are now, and then we have where we want to go, and that gap in the middle is usually what did you do to step outside of your comfort zone to close that gap? And then number 12, how did you grow this year? You know, maybe you did some personal development, maybe you work with a coach, maybe you did something outside of your comfort zone. How did you grow this year? Because again, remember, reminding you to celebrate 2023. And then the last one is what worked that got you closer to your goals and what worked that pulled you away from your goals. So this goes hand in hand with, you know, if something didn't happen, did you make excuses in number 5? So 13 is what worked that got you closer to your goals and what worked that actually pull— effectively pulled you away from your goals. So But just to remind you, as I wrap up this episode, this is also again about celebrating the things you did and the changes that you did make. And so I want you to think about, you know, how can I take some of the things that I learned, the person that I was growing into from 2023, so that I can empower myself in 2024? Because the goal is to not keep reliving our failures, The goal is to reflect on the ways that, that we experience life, the things that happened, the things that we participated in, the way that we grew or didn't grow, so that we can learn from those experiences in 2023, and then we leave them in the past. Okay, my peeps, this is the beginning of the reflection that I want you to do as we round out the end of 2023. And you know, if you want to do this work with me on a deeper, more personalized level, click the link in the show notes so we can have a conversation. It is my desire, guys, it's my purpose on this earth to empower and inspire as many people as possible to live the highest value for their lives without settling. I don't want to see one more person settle for not creating the life really know they were made for. So click the link in the show notes and let's have a conversation, and let's see how we can make your 2024 the best year of your life. All right, my peeps, take care and we'll talk next week.