160. Reinventing from the real YOU | Breakthrough: No More Settling

I'm your host, Travia Steward, of The Breakthrough Podcast, and this is the place where you come when you're ready to stop settling in all areas of your life. I believe that you are one breakthrough away from a completely different life. Let's go! Yo, what's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Thursday! And so I don't have an intro today, you know, because it, it was becoming so quickly too formulaic, and I like to just get on the mic, turn on the mic, and talk to my peeps. So what's up, my peeps? Today again is the day I drop some knowledge, I drop some wisdom, I drop what I believe in and my perspective on so many different things. And so one of the things that you will notice about me is that I am becoming more bold or bolder in the perspective, in the stance that I'm taking today. And, you know, and, and on all of my podcast episodes. And one of the things that I want to talk about today is Reinventing the Real You. And that might sound crazy when you think of the title Reinventing the Real You, because so many of us have covered up who we were meant to be, who we were created to be. We've covered it up. And I, I look at this as a metaphor, like as an onion. Like we have this core being, we have this core authentic self. And over the years, because of different, you know, societal expectations, parental, community, all these things that other people expect us to do that we then put on an armor, put on another layer of protection of what I think so-and-so wants me to be. And then after a long time, you know, you don't even recognize who you are. And how do you even begin to peel back that onion to get back to the essence of who you truly are? So today we're gonna delve into the essence of reinventing yourself. From your authentic core. Because you see, the process of transformation goes beyond surface-level changes. It involves, you know, a profound shift in your identity. And so what I want you to do is think about understanding and embracing your true self, that core, that little acorn, that little core of the onion. And if you're able to do this, you can break free from, you know, some limiting patterns and, you know, create the life that you actually wanna live because you're showing up the way that you wanna show up. And one of my very strong, profound beliefs is that people are taking their last breath with regret because they've not embraced the power of reinvention. I teach them how to shift their identity and become the person their goals require, because when you want something different, you have to do something different. But we wanna start with a fresh new core of the onion. We don't wanna just pile on different stuff on top of the layers that already exist, because something I talked about in the last episode was the strongest force within the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves. And by the time you pile on those different layers of the onion, you are identifying yourself as, you know, well, I'm just, I'm not an extrovert, I'm an introvert. I'm just, you know, that's just the way that I am. And These are statements that are limiting as well, because those decisions were made years ago. And we make decisions about what we believe, what we're capable of, who we are as a person, which again became our glass ceiling of what we were capable of. And once we locked in on that identity, your brain will always find a way to keep you there until you become aware and you're able to break the patterns. And so everyone has an identity. Everyone has a way that they consider themselves to be. Again, it's when you refer to yourself as I am such and such, because those are the two most powerful words, I am, and what follows that. We want whatever follows that to be empowering, to be powerful. And so your identity can be the— well, I believe it's the sum of your beliefs about yourself, your limits, your abilities, your potential, and the rules for how you live your life every day and interact and show up. And then based on how we live our life, I want you to ask yourself, are you settling with how you show up and how you view the world because of those rules that you created? And so when we look at reinventing yourself from your authentic core, What I mean by this is discovering and embracing the things that really make you happy and unique, the things that you were born with. To reinvent yourself authentically, we have to get down and peel back that onion because that is the essence of who you truly are. Letting go of societal expectations, letting go of external influences. Now it's about connecting with what you genuinely think, how you feel authentically about things, your real true emotions, the values that are important to you. And this understanding, it really is the foundation. It's a cornerstone of the reinvention that we wanna peel back that onion first before we begin piling things on top of it. And that begins with trusting yourself. It begins with feeling confident. And then staying true to who you are. All of this is the first phase of letting go the things that are holding you back from truly loving who you are and how you show up in life. And it's about being, you know, brave and courageous and trusting yourself and feeling confident to be that amazing person you were created to be. Just like a caterpillar, if you think about a caterpillar and a butterfly, the caterpillar, you know, probably doesn't think of itself as, you know, beautiful as the butterfly, but in its own way, the The caterpillar is beautiful, you know? And so turning into that beautiful butterfly, reinventing yourself means growing and changing into the best version of yourself, because the best version of you is the one where you are free to be fully you. And so we want to take a look at the things that may be stopping you today, the things that keep you pretending to be someone you're not and the things that keep you wearing masks when you show up with different, different types of people, different groups of people. And the thing that we're going to concentrate on today are limiting beliefs. And so, you know, like things that we really believe in, you know, that form your identity. When you say, I can't, or I can't, I'm not good enough, you know, I don't know enough, all those things. And so I want to give you an example. I want to share with you an example of one of my limiting beliefs that held me back for decades. And it was, you know, and I talked about that example of my mom at, you know, with the Christmas, uh, when my dad called in the last episode, when my dad called and he asked my brother and I what we wanted for Christmas, and I wanted what my brother wanted. So you'd have to go back and check out that last episode to hear that story. But what is happening is After that, and then after subsequent things that were becoming the consistent theme in my life, I formed what I called a default sentence. This is like a soundtrack that's running in the back. This is like, this is how I began to identify myself. And for decades, guys, peeps, I believed that who I was at my core was unacceptable. To other people. So I would hide. I would, I would lie about who I was and who I loved and who I was with. I believe that if people knew the truth about me, about my sexuality, about the things that I was really up to, then they wouldn't like me as much. They wouldn't want to be around me. They would feel like, oh my God, this, this person, you know, get out of here, you know, because you are not worthy. You are not fit to be in my company. And so for decades I walked around with that default sentence playing. And so I would hide who I was. I would pretend. And you know, sometimes if people are like, you know, you're too big and too booming and too loud, you know, I would tamp that down. I would become the person that other people wanted to become, wanted me to become in different situations until I started this very valuable, profound, life-changing work of coaching. I was able to then change my default sentence from, who I am at my core is unacceptable, to, who I am at my core is why I am highly successful, successful. And so whenever I think about that, whenever I feel myself cringing or dropping out of homeostasis because I am making up some things in my mind that I think other people are thinking as I'm entering a room, I remember that who I am at my core is I am highly successful. Who I am at my core is why people love me. And who I am at my core is why I am able to bring out the best in people and no longer hide who I am and how I am meant to move in this world. So what does that mean for you? What does reinventing yourself from your authentic core mean for you? It's like discovering what, you know, truly makes you happy and unique. It's like, you know, peeling back again. If you find yourself not wanting to do something because you think people are gonna think something about you, it's getting to that thing. If you wanna say something because you genuinely feel it, not because you're making it mean it, not because you're reacting to something else, but because that is your true opinion, it's saying it. Without editing it. And so as a reinvention coach, I believe that true change begins with embracing your true full identity and becoming that amazing person that you are absolutely meant to be. It's all about trusting yourself and discovering, you know, what is special about you, what is true about you, and then listening to that little voice inside and believing in your own intuition, your own wisdom, and your own inner knowing. And it's about being courageous enough to make those choices that feel really good and true to who you are, with no pretense, with no acting. Just like I guide my clients in trusting themselves, is important that I want you to tune into your own intuition. And make decisions that resonate from your authentic core. And so basically, when your actions and your beliefs and your behaviors all match who you really are, it's like everything fits perfectly like a glove, right? It's like, it's about doing the things that feel right to you and being true to yourself. And so the first step is letting go and peeling back the onion. So that we can get to the core of who you actually wanna be, who you were actually meant to be, not the one you're expected to be and not the one you think others want you to be. Because when we peel back the layers of the onion down to the core, only then can we begin to embrace stepping into and then layering on additional layers of reinvention that is goal-oriented. But we wanna get rid of this crap first, get rid of the expectations first. So that we can get to the core and be like, who are you really? Then we begin the, the different, you know, strategies of reinvention, the different strategies of becoming the person your goals require. So what I want you to do right now is ask yourself, ask yourself a very, very valuable question of where in your life Where in your relationships are you feeling like you can't truly be yourself? And that's where you start. And then you examine the thoughts that you're thinking about. Well, what am I making it believe when I can't be myself with this person, this group of friends? Start there and then start asking, are these things I'm thinking, are they true? And if they're not true, and I can probably guess that they're not true, we want to begin creating new beliefs about you. So prove it, that this is not true, that thought that I'm thinking, that someone's thinking of me is not true. And basically the new truth is, boom, an empowering new belief. Just like I was able to go from who I am at my core is not acceptable to other people to an empowering sentence of who I am at my core is why I'm highly successful, is why people love me, is why I bring out the best in people. And so I want you to find your own power sentence and not live through that default soundtrack of negativity, of negative energy, of the negative layers of the onion, so that we can peel that back down to your core and get back down to the essence. Of who you were made to be, who you were created to be, and how you really want and should— well, I don't want to say should, but how you really want to show up in this life. So, all right, my peeps, that's what I have for you this week. And again, if you're enjoying this podcast, I would really love to start a dialogue with you. Email me at travia@traviasteward.com if you have a question based on, you know, what I'm talking about, you know, settling in your life, I would love to answer it directly on the podcast. And if you haven't done so yet, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts because it helps more people be able to find the podcast and it helps us grow. And so I believe that it's my mission to empower and inspire as many people as possible to live the highest vision for their lives without settling. I don't want you to settle. I don't want to settle. I don't want anyone else to take their last breath with regret. So I need your help in getting the word out. All right, my peeps, take care. We'll talk next week.