163. Make this ONE decision | Breakthrough: No More Settling

I am your host, Travia Steward, of The Breakthrough Podcast, and this is the place where you come when you're ready to stop settling in all areas of your life. I believe that you are one breakthrough away from a completely different life. Let's go. Yo, what's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Thursday. Today, in actuality, I am recording this podcast on March 7th today. When it's supposed to drop. Because yesterday— I usually record them a day before, maybe a few days before. Every now and then I go, "I know exactly what I want to talk about in the next few weeks," and I'll record 2 or 3 at a time. But I've been really jiving with putting the episodes out based on how I'm feeling and what I am noticing from the pulse of you know, you guys and my clients. And so yesterday I want to share with you that I had a speaking engagement, um, at this, this place, it's Health IT. And guys, you know, it was, it was a small group and, but there were more people on remote, like on Zoom or, uh, like, like some meeting platform. It could have been like Google Meetup or something like that. But I'm telling you, like, that was one of my favorite engagements because it was so intimate. And I just felt like people were interested yesterday in like really changing their lives. And so people were interested in, you know, in figuring out, well, what is their more? What does their more look like?, and I really had a good time. And generally after I do a speaking engagement, I feel like I have played like 5 games. And then after that, I'm completely exhausted. And so when I got home yesterday, instead of recording a podcast episode, I was so tired. I went to sleep. And so in all honesty, it just like, it takes it out of me, but you know what? I just, even though it takes it out of me to such an extent, I, I, I can't even think of something that I love doing more because when I'm up there, it's just like, I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And when I'm talking and, you know, sometimes I go, I have an outline, I have a plan, but I never 100% follow that plan because I feel like when I'm up there that God is using me to, you know, provide transformations for people. I feel like that I am being used. I am the vessel that's being used for a greater good. And, you know, I tell you, I just, I love it so much. And I just, you know, again, I'm sitting here smiling at how great I thought that whole group was., and the lady who connected with me, Diane, and she was just so nice. And just the whole company, the whole feel, the whole vibe, like they are downtown Phoenix in this, this redone, like it was an old industrial building, but they redid it, put all these big beautiful windows in and it looks so, you know, 2024 and better. It just, you know, I like, I told him, I said, you know, everything about it, the space was so welcoming and inviting. Hell, I wanted to go work there, but I don't really wanna work there because I don't really wanna work for anyone anymore because I am my own boss. And there has been nothing greater than doing that, being my own boss. So I just wanted to share a little bit about that with you today and the reason why I am recording this episode today. And so based on some of the things that I talked about in that presentation yesterday, Today I want to talk about, you know, something that I know is so powerful, but it's simple. And it's about that one decision that can totally transform your life, you know. And it's like, it's the decision that you actually want to change something. You actually want more. And so think of it this way, right? So you're at a buffet, You know, there's some people in Louisiana who call it a buffet. I never understood buffet. I like, it's called buffet, but you know, to each his own. But imagine you're at a buffet, right? And there's all this food in front of you. And I know a lot of buffets have changed because of COVID Some of the food on the buffet is healthy. Some of it's not, but the choices that you make on what to eat will help you feel great Or, you know, lethargic and not so great. You'll feel bloated, you know, all these things. And I feel like life is like that. It's like that buffet, like what you want to grab and let go of. And every day we're faced with choices that shape our lives, especially when it comes to the choice of mastering your mind, because in order to make a decision to change, we have to really start with mastering our minds. And so, because we wanna imagine that just like that buffet, we have these thoughts that at every turn, every direction, the thoughts are flying by. They're like the continuous background noise in our heads. It's mental chatter that seems like they're back there having a party all on their own, even without me. And I'm just an audience member watching and listening to all of this chatter, right? Because it's easy to confuse the noise of, you know, thinking, oh, I'm, I'm thinking productively, but there's a difference in being lost in a thought and just watching and sort of just watching this thing, this your life play out in front of you, or actually directing your thoughts. Because the thing that I always come back to when you wanna master your mind is talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself. And you know what? True directive thinking, this true way of thinking, leads to growth and transformation. And it happens when we consciously decide to listen and align our internal dialogue. So we're gonna, we're gonna listen and figure out, well, what's being created right now? Oh, I see. Because it all begins with your thoughts. And so whatever that internal dialogue is, we wanna flip that. We wanna change it. We wanna rewrite that script so that by talking to yourself more than you listen to yourself, you're gonna be more in control of that internal dialogue. And so basically it's all about having a deliberate effort a cultivated mindset and belief system that supports the goals and the dreams that you have so that all of these thinking, all of the thoughts are in alignment with who you want to become so that your goals and dreams are inevitable. And so when you have all of these thoughts and you now become aware of them, Now we go, okay, we have the buffet, but now we're talking about, let's say your mind is like a garden. And today in Arizona, it's actually raining. And in the rain, the more it rains, the more weeds that come up. And I tell you what, weeds grow like nobody's business. We don't have to water the weeds. We don't have to fertilize the weeds. The weeds just come up. And I tell you, if I was out there trying to grow an oleander, I gotta water the thing. If I wanna grow some vincas that are annuals, I gotta go out there and water it. But these weeds, these weeds come up, it done math as 120 degrees. And I tell you what, the weeds are taking over our yard, which means this weekend we'll be, we'll be doing some yard work. But the purpose that I wanna make, the point I wanna make about these weeds are that the weeds in the yard are like those negative thoughts in your mind. And so when you think about all those negative thoughts that make you feel shitty, that make you feel less than, that make you feel that make you feel not appreciated, that make you feel less than you want to feel, consider them weeds in your garden. And in order to have a beautiful thought-filled garden that's in alignment with your goals, you have to cultivate that by talking to yourself more than you listen to yourself, directing that thinking so that when that miscellaneous weed pops up, boop, you can pop it right out. Because it is now the outlier. Because we have all these other thoughts that are building the person that you're becoming, all these other thoughts that are like helping you feel the way you wanna feel. Because your emotions, you know, when we did the, the, with 3 emotions in the beginning of the year that you wanna feel, and that's gonna lead your transformation in 2024. We want your garden filled with those things. We want your garden filled with ideas and creativity, imaginative ways in which you are going to accomplish your goals. Therefore, if your garden is full of more roses and vincas and oleanders, it's very easy to see the weeds when they pop up. That's what I want you to think about when you, you know, are sitting back witnessing your negative thinking. We want to pluck those suckers like weeds. Because the conversations that you have with yourself are the most crucial conversations in your entire life. How you talk to you is the most important thing because your thoughts shape your whole self-image, your beliefs, and ultimately your reality. Because what you think ends up coming to fruition. What you really think— and sometimes we don't even realize we're thinking some of this stuff. But by committing to guide and direct your thinking, this internal dialogue, with intention, you know, this is the process of the elite performers, the elite athletes, you know, the people who perform on a high level. This is something that they are able to do, you know, probably easier the more they do it, and sometimes better than other people. Because they're creating with intention and purpose. And with that intention and purpose, they're able to direct their thinking. So how do you master your emotions? How do you master your mind and direct your thoughts more productively? Again, it starts with awareness, recognizing, first of all, you know, and I've talked about this, you know, before, but I'm going to mention it again. You have to start from homeostasis. So you can't start behind the cue ball and then you have no idea what created, you know, this roller coaster of negative emotions. In the morning, you start with— if you are, you know, a praying person, start with a prayer. Start with gratitude. Do a little bit of journaling. Get yourself up to, you know, as close to a 10 as possible. A 10 out of 10, right? Where you are feeling good. That's what I call homeostasis. One of my clients goes, I like to call it getting closer center. That's cool too. So whatever language you want to use, you want to go, hey, I'm out of bed, I'm starting my day. I'm grateful for this, that, and this, whatever that is, because gratitude fills your cup faster than anything else. And so when you are go— when you are able to assess, you know, is there any tension in your body, releasing it, do a little meditation. But if you're able to get yourself to center, if you're able to get yourself to homeostasis, Then throughout the day, because you've already cleared your mind and you've set an intention, now throughout the day when your check engine lights go off, like your chest is tight, you have a knot in your stomach, your shoulders are tight, you're recognizing that, ooh, I got some, some indicators that I am not in homeostasis anymore. And I can tell you right now, the things that knock you out of homeostasis are those weeds in your garden, the weeds that popped up among all your vincas and oleanders and roses. Those are the things that knock you out of homeostasis. So it starts with being aware of what you're thinking. Like, I'm asking you to not be in the audience watching this stuff anymore, but actually being a participant and being a director of what you're thinking, and not just an onlooker, because we don't want to just wish things were different. We want to create different results in our life. And so today I'm asking you to make a decision. The decision that I'm asking you to make is mastering your mind, mastering your emotions. This is the one thing that could absolutely change your entire life when you begin to get clear on What are the results you're creating based on what you're thinking? Because we're all in charge of what we're thinking and where our thoughts are going and what ship a car is driving. And so I'm asking you to just take a step, take a stand and go, I'm making this decision because I want more in my life. And in order to have more, you have to become more. You have to direct your thinking. And so I'm not saying it like this is so easy. This is work that you will do every single day, probably for the rest of your life, depending on whatever goal, you know. And one of my favorite quotes is, um, from Cary Grant: he pretended to be someone he wanted to be until he became it. So if you're thinking like Cary Grant, you have to think like, what are the thoughts that the person that who already has what you want, what are the thoughts that they're thinking? How can I begin to, you know, maybe adopt those thoughts myself? And so I want you to think about this like a journey, a fun journey. Like, you can rewrite your story by first beginning with the thoughts that you're thinking in your mind, because the more and the closer in alignment you get your thoughts to your goal, the faster the change will happen and the longer-lasting and more effective it will be. So that's what I have for you today, my peeps. Thanks for hanging out with me. And you know what? I just want to send out, I am so grateful for all of you who listen. I've been noticing some growth on YouTube. I'm noticing some growth on Spotify, and I just thank you so much. So it, it's, it's confirming that I have a message that people actually want to hear. And so, and every now and then, it's kind of nice to have that validation that I'm not just here talking to myself, that I'm here helping and impacting. And, and I do hope and pray changing lives, because that's what I know I was put on this earth to do. So as we wrap up, I want to make sure that you're thinking about how can you stop settling in the major areas of your life. And so in the notes below this episode, and if you're watching it on YouTube, you can copy and paste that link because I'm still offering free strategy calls. And then, you know, this can be like an hour call, 30-minute call, that kind of thing. And you can just share with me what's going on. And you know, this could be just a free time for you to go, hey Trey, this is what's going on in my life. And what do you you think is a plan that I could like put in action and then boom, take off from there. So I'm looking forward to hearing from some of you and this isn't going to go on forever. So just for another couple of weeks, I'll offer these strategy calls. So I look forward to hearing from you. All right, my peeps, take care. We'll talk next week.