In this episode of the Work That Out Podcast, host Travia Steward interviews Gemini Ferrie, a love coach who specializes in women’s self‑love and emotional mastery. Gemini shares her personal history—immigrating from Nicaragua, experiencing childhood sexual abuse, homelessness, a suicide attempt, and periods of severe depression—and explains how those traumas shaped her mission to help others heal. She describes her coaching focus on self‑love, understanding emotions, and using uncomfortable feelings as entry points to deeper connection. The conversation explores her spiritual worldview, including beliefs about pre‑life contracts, the neutrality of reality, and the role of free will. Gemini details her development of psychic and mediumship abilities through mentorship with Flora and Robin Clark, her ethical approach to using those gifts, and how meditation and prayer serve as tools for inner listening. She discusses why she primarily works with women, citing her mother’s story and a desire to raise women’s self‑worth, while also considering expanding to men and couples. Gemini shares client transformation stories, her vision for a government agency focused on emotional intelligence, and her ongoing work on sexuality and vulnerability. The episode ends with practical information about her services, website, social media, guided meditation album, and the mentors who most influenced her work.
Chapters
You are listening to Work That Out Podcast, episode number 6. Thank you so much for joining us today. My goal with these conversations is to explore different types of people and their successes as well as their failures in navigating and mapping out their lives so that you too may have more insight in what it takes to build the life that you envision for yourself. I believe if you take action each day, the life that you want can be closer than you think. Welcome to Work That Out, guys, your guide to connecting authentically, living with purpose, and having no regrets. This is a show that gives you real stories and real examples of people working it out and creating the life that they want. My guest today is a graduate of the Spiritual Psychology Master's program at the University of Santa Monica. She's mentored under Fleur and Robin Clark to hone her psychic and mediumship skills. She is also a member of the Agape International Spiritual Center. She dedicates her life to personal and professional mastery and admits that she is always learning. My guest today is the love coach for women, Gemini Fairy. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, today I have a very special guest, a love coach. How great is that? Because my methodology is about connecting authentically Living with purpose and having no regrets. And I think the most precious thing in life is to find the love of your life and how to live in that love very authentically. So ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you Gemini Ferry. Gemini, thank you so much for being here today.
Thank you, it's so good to be here with you again, Travia.
Yes, yes. You know, and just to give, you know, my listeners a little bit of a backstory, you know, Gemini and I actually did a mutual training, what, a few weeks ago? And Jim and I reached out to me and wanted to connect again, you know, because so many times in life people reach out and they want to connect and it's like, what's in it for me? Right. And there was just nothing about that. And I felt like our connection on that, and that was just a few days ago, was so authentic and so real. I never felt like, you know, you wanted something from me and I hope you never felt like I wanted something from you. And I felt I felt the presence of just goodness, you know. So thank you so much, honestly, for coming into my life and sharing that authentic gift with me. So where I want to start today is, you know, who is Gemini and what is her true calling on this planet?
The big million-dollar question, right?
Million-dollar question. That's what we all paid money for.
I know, right?
Yes.
There's so many ways to answer that, but if I were to put it in, nail it down to two words, the reason, my purpose, you know, what drives me is love. Yes. Love or self-love, right? Romantic love, self-love, two sides of the same coin. And emotions, understanding emotions, helping people understand emotions, helping people to no longer be afraid of their own emotions anymore by giving them tools and teaching them, you know, really how easy it is to actually use an uncomfortable emotion as an entry point into going deeper into your connection of love with yourself. So self-love and emotions, like, that's my jam.
Right. So since that's your jam, do you think you first have to have self-love before you can fully give yourself to someone else? Is that a prerequisite?
Yes and no. So I've never been asked this question, and now that I think about it, it's a tricky one. So if somebody— okay, so there's two people, Person A and Person B. They could be giving all of themselves, all of themselves to another person romantically, but they're not necessarily coming from the same place, right? So Person A may be doing it out of feeling not good enough and feeling like they have to make up for, they have to compensate for all the things that they think they're not good enough for, right? So that's a very unhealthy kind of giving that looks good on the outside, but on the inside, the person is always feeling not enough. They're always trying to get external validation. They're always trying to please the other person. Now, Person B, right? Same thing. They're giving all of their being, right, to somebody else. However, it's founded on self-love and self-respect. And although that may look similar, on the inside it feels completely different. It feels aligned, it feels an integrity, and there's no agenda to get or to control. Wow.
Yeah, that's very, very powerful. Very powerful. You know, and I work with, like, I really work with the couple. And so as an advanced relationship coach, I work with a couple. So I'm always thinking about the other person and how to get them to communicate on a different level as well. So now, Jim, I want to go back a little bit, right? Because, you know, this was something I don't remember if you recall this being said on the intensive, but there was a guy who said, you know, it was during Aaron Baker's a brilliant session, and it was all about assumptions. What are the things that you assume that everyone knows? And a guy said, I assume that everyone knows that before they are born, that they've signed a contract when they come here to Earth. So they know the obstacles, the challenges, they know their entrances, and they know their exits. They kind of— they've signed up for this. And so what is your belief on that realm? I'm just so curious about that.
That's a really interesting one. Um, so, so let me just I want to preface by saying that I believe, and there is evidence for that, reality is neutral. It doesn't mean anything.
Right.
And it doesn't mean anything right or good or bad or wrong, that it doesn't mean anything until we arrive and we create all these stories and all these meanings that represent the set of beliefs, right, that we have inside of ourselves that likely came from unconscious decisions that we made when we were little kids, right? So to say that reality is neutral is— there's some evidence for that. However, talking about as a soul, as a spirit, do we really know our purpose? Do we commit to a purpose? Do we commit to a path before we arrive here? Well, that part I have to say it's a belief that I have, but I also understand that it could all— it could be something that I'm making up, right? But here's the thing, we're making it up anyways, so why not make up something that is empowering to you and to others, something that connects you to what's really important for you? So Here's what I believe. I never try to convince anybody of this because it's a story that works for me and for my life, okay? And here it goes. I believe that before we were born as a soul, we got together with our angel or our guides or God or the infinite, whatever you want to call that presence, infinite presence. And my sense is that maybe we were asked, So what do you want to work on in this lifetime? What do you want to focus on? You know, what kind of experiences and adventures?
Right, right, right.
So if I look through my life from that lens, then I can see very clearly that I'm here for love, self-love, and emotions, not only to understand them and master them as much as I can, but to also help other humans so that they can be fulfilled and happy and aligned, right? Your own purpose, whatever that may be, whether it's being a mother or running the freaking country, whatever.
Right. So that's incredible. So that I feel like maybe that's a little bit of the intuition you had at 5 years old. Tell me about that moment where, you know, you saw your mother chasing her boyfriend, you know, around the living room with a knife. And at 5 years old, you had the mindset to say, whoa, I can help you people, you know? So at 5 years old, what was your mindset like at that moment?
Well, at 5 years old, let me just paint the picture a little bit. I only spoke Spanish when I was 5. I had just come from Nicaragua where I was born. You know, my whole family, we came to Los Angeles to make a better life for ourselves. And my mother had an alcoholic boyfriend who supported the family. So my mother didn't work, she took care of all 4 of us kids. So one time my mother got really upset at her boyfriend, so she chased him around the house with a big old kitchen knife. I knew she wasn't gonna hurt him. I really, I knew my mom well enough. However, it was still, it still freaked me out. Like, holy moly. And then before that, I had heard my grandmother talking about this thing called war. And I thought, war, hmm, is that like people physically hurting each other? I thought, wait a minute, in both situations, why don't they just talk about it?
Right. Right?
Right. Why don't they just talk about it?
That's simple.
Yeah, so here I am, you know, almost 40, and I, this is what my whole reality is about. Why don't they just talk about it? This includes communication with myself, you know, when uncomfortable emotions and patterns, disempowering beliefs and ways of being come up that don't align with who I'm committed to being. Right. No, it's like, let me work that out with myself rather than judging myself, demeaning myself, rejecting myself, you know, avoiding myself. Like, let me see what's really going on here. What's missing? What do I need? What way of thinking needs to be updated? You know, and that's my life practice. You know, for some people it's yoga, for some people it's meditation. I'm a little bit of the three. Um, but essentially that's what I'm really passionate about is helping people really be in right relationship with themselves.
Right. And then so that they can connect better with someone else in a relationship. That's incredible. I love that. So as that young child who's evolving into this great being who's sitting here today, you know, you also went through some things things where you were homeless. Um, but like, I just feel like when you look at your life, if you mapped it out, could it have been more perfectly exemplified that these are the things that I have overcome in my life that has mapped out such a beautiful program and beautiful tools? Because I've gone through these things myself that I can now work with my clients. So talk to me about a little bit about your background and how effective is it? Because, you know, Sometimes people are like, I don't want to talk to someone, you know, who has not gone through depression if they haven't been depressed themselves, that kind of thing.
Understandably.
Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about those experiences and how valuable the fact that you've gone through these things, how valuable have they been to your practice?
I so, I'm in love with this question. And I invite every person who's listening right now, I want to invite you to to ask yourself that question, that is really one of the most elevating questions ever. So I have a few events that were very traumatic at the time, very, very, very, very painful at the time that have literally shaped my work in the world and that have made me so passionate to want to help other people who are still suffering through those things that I have overcome or that I'm still overcoming, honestly, you know. And, you know, self-work is a lifelong journey. So we'll start with when I was 4 years old. I experienced sexual abuse by, you know, someone in the family. And I didn't feel like I could talk to anybody because no one was really taking the time to ask me the questions to get to know my inner world. It was more like, do this, do that, don't hit your sister, you know, take care of your brother, you know, command after command. That was really the most painful, the most difficult experience that I've done a tremendous amount of work on for the last 15 or so years. And, and Trey, I'm I'm still not done with that work.
Right, right.
I'm still not done with that work. However, I'm more free than I was, say, 2, 5 years ago. So maybe, you know, I'm, say, 75% through with the work. So then I can help somebody who's at 10% and who just experienced sexual trauma, or maybe they're just looking at that piece of their inner work for the first time in their adult life. And I can understand what they've been through. I can have compassion for that person, not just for the sake of compassion, but like, I've been there and I get you. And that's real empathy. You know, there was that. And then when I was 14, my mother, you know, bless her heart, she's crossed onto the other side, but bless her heart, at the time she was overwhelmed with her own pain, her own emotions. And I was not a very easy teenager. Okay, let's just say I will take responsibility for that. I was— Crazy teenagers. So at 14 years old, we had a really terrible argument, my mother and I, and she ended up saying some pretty mean things that had me feel like, what is the point of being alive? There's just no point. I don't see a way out of this. I'm 14. I can't get a job. I can't support myself. So out of desperation, I took a bunch of pills in the hopes of ending this misery that I was in emotionally. And then I woke up in the hospital. And I thought, "Oh no, I'm still here." Fuck, damn it. You know, it didn't work. I don't know. I have to find a solution, you know? So I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for a couple of weeks. And when I was talked to about, you know, getting released, I said, "I'm going to tell you something." And this is the first time that I ever, that I remember ever having a voice, that ever, like standing up for myself for real. Because before that, I always stayed silent because I didn't want to add to the burden of the, you know, my mother and the grown-ups around me, you know. And so I said, look, I'm getting out of here, but I cannot live with my mother. I cannot. I must live somewhere else. If you send me to my mother again, she can't take care of me. I will do it again and I will succeed. It was like stand. I took a stand for myself and my life and for what I needed. And so they said, okay. And I ended up living with a family member for 6 months. Then I was adopted by my most favorite, favorite aunt, who is the only adult that I really felt seen by growing up. And then only last November, Trey, you know, people look at me like, wow, she's so successful. She's got it going on. Yes, I do. And I'm still human. Last November, I went through a very, very scary and deep moment of depression that lasted probably a few weeks. And I'm so glad, I'm so grateful I had the courage, man, it took everything that I had to talk to my best friend about it, to talk to her about what was going on for me, you know, and I was, you know, my work has been transitioning and it's been changing and evolving, you know, as I am evolving, you know, our work cannot stay the same as we evolve. Our work has to evolve with us, right? And I didn't recognize it at the time. And so I had a really hard time accepting that. And I, the old model wasn't working and the new one hadn't arrived yet. And I was in this strange in-between place feeling completely useless in life, you know, and I was very, very depressed and I definitely had some very scary thoughts. I know by now that I would not do anything in that direction, but it was definitely very scary. And it's something that I like talking about because most people would never expect that from somebody that looks so put together. Yeah, I do have it together. And I had a bout of depression there for a few weeks. And I even thought about going to get antidepressants and I thought, oh no, no, no, no, no, that is the wrong direction. I need to use my own tools. Help myself out of it with the love and support of my husband and my best friend. So now, you know, when I talk to people and they say, you know, I'm really going through depression, I'm taking antidepressants but it's not working, or I feel numb, I'm really scared, I don't know what to do. I'm like, I can say, you know what, girl, I got you. I was just there and it was not my first time, okay? And I can help you through this because I've been there. I know what it's like to have all of those crazy thoughts and for them to feel real at some point.
Right, yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. I actually have just gotten to a point in my life, you know, I've had all these huge things that have lined up because I was a high school teacher for 24 years, a theater teacher, and I was like, you know, there's just more. And I felt like, you know, there were just things that were like, no, no, your time is now. You know, and so I always imagined that I would quit and transition to something else, and I've just fallen so in love with performance and life coaching. But I know that there are things that prodded me along the way. And so I haven't always fully trusted my own intuition. And so in— as a form of making those decisions, and then that also kind of transitions into, well, I don't know if I should say these things. I don't know if I should be as open as I could be in this situation. Yesterday I did this post on Instagram and I've always been a person who's been afraid to really show my whole being to really, if you say something that I disagree with, I would never just go, oh, Gemini, I disagree with that. To get to a point of like, you know what, I don't really care what people think about me. I know what I'm here to do, but you got there so much earlier. You know, is it because of your experiences? I always feel like, you know, my upbringing, because I know we are, you know, results of our upbringing, society, our environment, our family, all those things. And it's like, if it doesn't, you know, involve you, then don't put your nose in there. How did you become such an open book so quickly? You know, it seems like you were an open book at 14.
Um, yes. Uh, I had to. I felt like my life was at stake there, you know? And I'll tell you that I don't think I've met anybody in my entire life so far that has followed their intuition the whole time consistently. Right. Ever, ever. So what I'm called to, and this is something that I've been thinking about on my own, you know, like why do I, why did I not listen to my intuition this and this and this and this time? Like why is it so hard? And it's like, you know what? It's normal, it's common, and what if that's okay? What if there's nothing wrong with not being at 100% with listening to our intuition? And what if like doubting our intuition for a few moments, a few days, a few years even, like what if that's just part of the journey? And what if we don't judge ourselves and judge our journey because we think it should look a different way? So that's what I'm playing with right now, because I just want to get more and more free. But to answer your question about, you know, how did I become an open book? It started at 14. I said, you know, I was very quiet before that around my family. However, I was always social. You know, my mom tells me stories, you know, told me stories that she would wrap me around her back, you know, in Nicaragua, and she would just go to the open markets at day 3 of me being born, and people everywhere. So I got to know everybody, you know, so I was I was always super social, but then again, all Nicaragüense people that I ever met are super social. So I think it's a cultural thing as well.
Right.
But honestly, you know what really inspires me, Trey, is that I just want to be free. And the only way I can be free is to be authentic and to be all of myself. And I'm not perfect at that. That's something that I feel like I'm learning so much, like all the time. You know, there's so many things that I want to say, you know, when I go live or when I make a video, you know, for social media, that then like, then I get stuck and then I'm like, should I say that? Is that appropriate? Is that, you know, I get in my head too, just like everybody else. But at the end of the day, you know, when I think about the most inspiring people on social media, they're so unfiltered and so vulnerable. They're my personal heroes. I'm like, I want to be like them when I grow up, you know. So I think there's levels of vulnerability and transparency and, you know, there's people that are ahead of me and then there's, you know, some people that I'm ahead of and I just want to keep growing in that because it just feels so good and so free and it's coming from the heart, you know, and that's really where it's at.
Right. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much. So I want to transition a little bit. I know you've done some training. You were mentored under Flora and Robin Clark with like, like, so like to hone your psychic and mediumship skills. And let me tell you the reason why I'm so curious about that question is because I was born and raised in the New Orleans area. So we would go down to the French Quarter and people would go, come here, you know, let me read your palm. Here you go, you have a long lifeline. You know, we always looked at the stuff, we were like, yeah, that's so crazy, that's not real, you know.
Oh really, you thought that growing up?
Oh yeah, totally.
Oh, okay.
And then my mom would say say, you quit playing with the devil. That is nothing but the devil. That's Satan. You know, there's God is one thing and that's another thing.
Yeah.
So, so it was really hard to mix and I must admit, I confess to you. So I've really, I'm, I love meditation. I'm doing a challenge right now where I'm meditating 3 times a day and it took me so long because I still, like, I used to do my prayers in the, like my morning bath or shower, but I was like, I have this present time right now. So I just like 2 months ago started combining saying my prayers as part of my meditation. It took me so long to get there because I just didn't think the 2 could go together. Huh.
Interesting.
Yeah. For most of my life.
So is it that your, your, your prayer practice feels more meditative than ever?
Yes, it does. But, but I didn't believe, but it was only because I've been doing a lot of work, you know. And so I was like, just, it just felt wrong. It felt like I was sinning.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
So talk to me about how those things do go hand in hand and a little bit about, you know, maybe your road to your psychic abilities and your, your mediumship.
Well, the way that I look at meditation and prayer are they're two sides of the same coin. So I could use the word God or the infinite or your soul or your presence or your energy or Allah or Jesus, whatever name you want to call that presence of love that we all want to, that energy of love that we all want to connect with so much more deeply within ourselves and with each other. Meditation is for me listening in to the silence within where that infinite part of my being, I believe, comes from or speaks from. You know, sometimes I call it my spirit or my higher self, my soul. It's a way of me just hearing, just listening for the messages, the whisperings of my soul. And honestly, most of the time I don't hear anything. I just want to put that straight. Okay.
Right, right.
Like, oh my God, she's getting messages. I'm like, no, it's really not as mystical as I wish it would be.
Okay.
Um, but here's what it does for me. The meditation is that it allows me to take a break from the chattery mind who always has a story about every little moment and everything in it. And it's a way of me just, again, just listening to the silence because in that silence, I get ideas and I may get an idea in that moment, I may get an idea later, but the more I have a relationship with that stillness and that silence, the more I feel like I'm giving space for the universe, for life to collaborate with me, you know, in my journey. Now the prayer part is me speaking to my higher self, my soul, to the infinite, to God. It's me speaking to it. And now there's a lot of types of prayer out there and the type of prayer that I like to do is rather than asking for something, I like to thank for something. And this is not the right way to do it. This is just an experiment because I thought, you know what, I've been asking for stuff and most of it didn't come to me. So I'm going to try a different way of praying. Okay. So it's all like, it's just experimental. It's really about your relationship with you. Now in terms of my psychic abilities that I've been developing, Psychic abilities do run in my family. No one's ever been interested in like developing them or anything like that. But you know, there's plenty of stories in my family like, oh, somebody went to Vegas and they guessed a number consistently 5 times and they just felt it, they knew it or whatever. And you know, they see things or they know things. But I am the only one that really decided, you know what, like I really want to get good at this because it really helps me in my coaching because I can see see and feel things about people that they would never guess I would just catch like this. And it's really helped me a lot in my own personal life as well, that inner knowing for me, that those psychic abilities come to me in a picture and an inner knowing. If I can't see it, it ain't happening. Just like that.. But if I have to make a decision, you know, or if I'm in a pickle and there's, there's just, there's a lot of unknowns, but I need to move forward in some direction. I just, I just feel it out. And I, and I, if I can't see one direction, I don't go there. If I can see one direction and it just, it just feels like, yes, I know this is it. I go with that and it works out absolutely tremendously.
Wow. And so whenever I hear you saying these things, I immediately go, well, what is she thinking about me? Is she reading me right now? Does she know what's going to happen to me tomorrow? You know, does she know if I'm going to get— all these things. I was like, does she see the disease? Do I have an illness? I mean, I just automatically go, boom, it makes me a little nervous. Yeah. Yeah.
And I'm so glad that you named what's present. I mean, that's a superpower. Like, that's an amazing skill. That is vulnerability. That's transparency. That self-acceptance and self-love and non-judgment all wrapped up into one right there, you know. And whoever's listening, like, you really want to catch this. This is some good stuff that you just demonstrated, Trey. Most people would just stay quiet and would try to hide that from themselves and the other person, and then they wouldn't be present, right? Right. Hasn't that happened to all of us? Like, oh, absolutely, right? Yeah. So another group of people in the world who feel exactly like what you just said are Psychologists and psychiatrists, they're often also told, "Oh my God, I feel like you're going to analyze me if we're hanging out or whatever." It's like, "No." Right. No, no, no, no, no. This is something that I turn on and off. I mean, this is how I do it anyways. It would be exhausting to constantly be seeing things about people. I've never had that ability in the first place. Okay. Sometimes with some people, some message comes through. Some vision comes through and then I ask for permission like, hey, I'm getting a sense of something, can I share it with you? I may be off, but I just want to share. And I always say that because then it takes the pressure off of the person thinking that it's fact. You know, somebody can, a psychic can tell you, hey Trey, you know, you're gonna, this is gonna happen in your life in 6 months. And you could be like, I don't think so. No thanks, not interested.
So when I say that, am I manifesting that it won't happen?
Well, you have free will. Okay, let me tell you a little story. So this is something that I heard on This American Life. You know that podcast?
I don't.
It's so good, it's so good. Okay, I'm going to check it out. So, this story is somewhere in Africa. Forgive me, I know Africa is massive. I apologize, I don't remember where it was. Somewhere in Africa, some reporter from This American Life went over there because they were interested in this particular tribe because the shaman man of the tribe, he has this power where he can see the future of people and he can know the very day that a person is going to die.
Wow.
Okay, so people go to him and they consult with him about all kinds of things, but he also tells them if they're they ask, "When am I going to die?" And they're like, "Oh, you're going to die July 17th, na na na na na, whatever." Okay, and what this reporter found is that every one of those people in those villages that got their date, their death, it happened on that date. Okay, so then he's like, "Okay, I don't know about this." The reporter's like, "Let me go and talk to this guy because I don't know." He went, the guy gave him a date, and the guy's like, "Okay, whatever, dude." So went back home, the date came and went, still alive. Huh. So belief is very powerful.
Wow.
Very powerful. That tribe is, has the culture of that tribe is the way that it is. They believe it so much. They believe this person so much that their cells, their body absolutely responds to that. But somebody who's from the West, who didn't grow up with that, you know, who knows about free will in a different way, in a different way, be like, whatever, you know, he's fine. So, so it's like that, you know, it's, it really depends on your belief. If somebody tells you something about yourself and you do not resonate, you're probably gonna reject it, right? But if it resonates with you, it's because it was already in you, and that person is simply reflecting to you something they notice inside of you that you may not be aware of. Yet.
Okay, wow, that makes sense. Yeah, it makes total sense. Wow, absolutely. You know, and, and again, it's some of the work that I've been doing with myself is working on my own stories and my beliefs and, you know, and, and aligning those things to what I'm capable of, you know, because so many times I've talked myself out of things. So do you ask for permission when, like, you know, so like, I've spoken to some other people who are like, you know, they have psychic abilities and So like, as a matter of fact, I was just talking to a lady just yesterday and she said, oh, she said, I don't have, you know, I can't just, you know, oh, what are you feeling now? She said, you have to ask me a very specific question. And then she said, I meditate on it and then I feel what I'm feeling. You know, she had this whole thing and she said, but I only go, you know, where, you know, if you ask me a very specific question, I can't tell you just these other random things.
You mean a vague, asking a vague question doesn't work. To get a specific answer.
Right, right. I guess. Yeah, I guess. And so, so I was like, okay, you know. And so sometimes it's like, because I'm still sort of middle of the road with that, because I mean, like, I would be erasing a lot of years. I totally— I wish I had that skill. I wish I had that gift, because, you know, I would like— I don't know, but I don't want to see all the bad things. You know, I don't want to see like, "Oh my God, such and such is going to have a car accident next week, next Thursday.
Don't leave your house, girl." It doesn't quite work that way.
Okay.
It doesn't quite work that way. So when you develop psychic abilities, see, anybody can be psychic, but not everybody can do mediumship, you know, or channeling. But anyone can develop their psychic abilities. See, when you choose to develop your psychic abilities, Essentially what you're doing is opening yourself and your energy up to some, what you may call the infinite mind.
Okay.
Infinite mind, infinite intelligence, infinite knowing, what have you. And you want to have an intention, right, about why you're developing these skills, but you also get to choose what you want to what you do not want to see.
Okay.
You get to choose that. That's an agreement that you're making with yourself. It's an agreement that you're making with that mystery.
Right. And only because I've chosen not to think about it?
It's not that I'm not to think about it because see, I never get bad stuff is going to happen and I'm terrified. Like that, I don't think that's ever happened to me because when I first started developing these abilities with two different mentors, I specifically decided, like I said out loud, I'm making a decision that I'm opening my psychic abilities up, but I am not interested, I'm not open, and I'm not available to anything bad, negative, evil, dark, shadowy, none of that. I have no interest. I'm only developing this for good, to help myself and to help others, you know. And sometimes people don't need to know, you know what I mean, like when if something is going to happen. The person, the teacher that I've mentored with, you know, Flor, she's very developed. Like, she sometimes gets messages of when, if that person is close to death, even if they have absolutely no clue. But she will never ever consider telling somebody that because it would disempower them. So instead what she does is she says, hey, you know, I'm getting this message that it's a really good time for you to you know, put your ducks in a row and dot your T's, you know, cross your I's, or whatever, vice versa, right, right, right, for the next stage of your evolution, something like that. And they're like, yeah, okay, cool, you know.
Yeah. Oh, I would totally run immediately to the dark side with that. So I hope nobody ever tells me that, because, oh my God, because, you know, I was a theater teacher for 24 years, so it's blooming doom, that must mean I'm gonna die. I would immediately go there.
Yeah, so the fear of death is is something that's very real for most people unless somebody has a near-death experience, you know, which I happen to have in my life, you know, that really helped me make complete peace with death. And I do check in with myself about how I feel about my own mortality on a very regular basis, you know, like every few months, you know, whenever I can remember, because I think it's healthy because I think that I don't want to live in a fantasy that I'm going to live forever because the mind likes to think that we're going to live forever so that then we don't— we can procrastinate and not do all the important things that we want to do because they're vulnerable and it takes a lot of courage, right, to put ourselves out there. So the more I'm aware of my own mortality, the more I can create a sense of urgency, the more I can connect to the meaning and the purpose of my life.
Wow, this is such a powerful conversation, you know, and sometimes like I'm gonna have friends who go That one episode with that Gemini lady.
Mm-hmm.
But I'm gonna have some other friends who it's gonna blow their minds. Yeah.
It's true. Totally.
And so is this something that you disclose like upfront? Like you have a discovery, you have a consultation call with a client and you know, you're like, oh my goodness, I can help her. You know, this is, this is going to work. Do you disclose those abilities right from the beginning?
Sometimes I do. Most of the time I really don't because It doesn't really matter, honestly. You know, it's the example that I like to give to people is, listen, if you were in a deserted island, okay, and you were all by yourself, and then here came this ugly-ass green boat, okay, couldn't be uglier. You wouldn't be like, yeah, I don't think I like that boat. Can you just send a hot pink one? That would be more suitable.
No, no, it's a boat.
You wouldn't care what color it is. You don't care how ugly or pretty it is. You want to get on that boat and you just want to get to the other side, right?
Right.
So that's how people look at, you know, coaching, at least the people that I I've worked with, they don't care if it's whatever the technique is, they just want to know, can you help me? Okay. More than a few times I have divulged this to certain clients because it was relevant at the time. You know, it's kind of like, hey, you know, yeah, I was homeless from the ages of 5 to 14 years old on and off, you know, with my whole mother and, you know, my siblings, like on the streets of Los Angeles, I attempted suicide, I was depressed a few times, you know, I don't need to say all of those things in every single interview because they're not relevant. You know, it just depends on what we're discussing.
Right. Okay. Totally makes sense. So why have you decided that, and I know we all have our zone of genius, why do you only work with women?
I have a soft spot for women. It started with my mother, you know, my mother who was not taught the self-relationship skills of self-love, self-acceptance, you know. When I was 18, you know, I went to live with my father who I had never met. Never met my father, you know, and I thought, hey, you know, this is my chance for a stable life, like a really stable life, you know, for the first time ever, like two parents, a house, you know, all that.
Right.
And 6 months in, you know, I my dad's wife asked for a paternity test and I thought, hey, you know, I do— I resisted, I resisted, but I thought, hey, you know what, I can't go on living the rest of my life wondering, right? I did the freaking test and you could guess that it came out negative. You know, when I talked to my mom about it, I just had so much compassion for her because I thought, man, you know, what was going on in her mind and heart at that time? You know, did she know? My sense is that she didn't know because I thought, how could I judge her? You know what I mean? Like, how could I judge somebody that just doesn't know any better? You know, it's like a kid that draws on the wall. It's like, well, they don't know any better. They don't know the rules yet, right? So I just, I talked to my mom about it and she's like, yeah, I was in love with this guy and I thought that if I told him that you were his that he would stay with me. And did it work? Of course it didn't work. So it was like I was at the end of that lack of self-relationship, healthy relationships. So I thought, man, you know, I want to help women out there who think like that. I want to help women out there who feel that they're not good enough just as they are and that they have to compromise and that they have to be dishonest because being themselves is going to be unacceptable in some way and that they're never going to be loved. All my mom wanted was to be loved by the person that she loved, you know, and she didn't know how else to communicate it, you know. So that really makes me passionate. Like, if women are free, you know, if women love themselves, if they recognize their high self-worth, women are not going to be settling. And if women are not settling, what do you think that's going to do to the men? Men are not going to be trying to take advantage of women. They're not going to try to be Mr. Mistreating women because we're not gonna have it, because we're gonna have self-respect, you know? So that's really, you know, where it comes from. So really, I have that part of my journey, that really uncomfortable, painful part of my journey to thank for wanting to help women. And given that I'm in this, you know, little transition, you know, where I'm redesigning the way I work with people and all of that, honestly, Trey, I'm curious to work with men. I have worked with plenty of men in the past, even though my website says I work with women, right? Men, gay, straight, all of it. They are perfect. Okay, now I am curious to work with men, so I'm opening my practice up for now as a way of experimenting. Like, do I still want to keep working with women? Do I want to work with men? Do I want to work with couples or both? Or do I want to work with a completely different, you know, niche, not in the romantic love arena? So I'm just really in a place of of discovering, you know, what's next for me, what does the next iteration of my work and my being and my life and my service look like.
Absolutely. You know, and I'm completely the opposite of you with that because, you know, I mean, I'm sort of still niching down, but I have recognized that I am better, I feel more into my zone of genius, when I work with men.
What do you think that is?
The half of the relationship. I think that just is from personal experience. And so, and not in the form of working, but, you know, I, you know, I have a lot of masculine tendencies. And so I'm not in touch, you know, like when people are like, oh, the goddess in you. I was like, no, she's not in me. She does not show up here. She doesn't live here. There's no goddess. There could be a god.
I love that.
Yeah. And so I just feel like I more closely associate and relate to men, but being a woman, oh, I'm so, you know, like my top love language is physical touch. I want to be touched, and that's usually with a man. Most women like, oh, words for affirmation, oh, touch me, and then I just melt. And so I just find that I align better because I have kind of like that exterior, a little bit hardness that relates to the man that doesn't want to be fully vulnerable.
Uh-huh.
But being a woman, I have some inner knowledge, some secrets.
Mm-hmm.
So I just feel so at home on that side of the relationship. So, Jimoy, tell me, you know, of course, without naming names, What has been one of your absolute best, like, client transformations? Like, where were they and where did they end up after having worked with you?
Mm, my goodness, so many beautiful miracles of women that literally thought love was never ever going to happen for them in this lifetime.
Oh, yeah.
Completely transforming their sense of self-worth, their sense of deservedness of love, learning to help them access the love that they never got as children so that they could be full and, you know, actually marrying a wonderful partner and having a family. You know, one of the people that comes to mind is just such a sweet, sweet, kind woman who was a people pleaser. Definitely to the max. She was sweet, that was authentic, but she definitely was trying to please everybody, worked way too much, like 7 days a week sometimes, didn't take a vacation for 5 years because she thought that people would find out that she was, you know, not that great at her job and that she would get fired. So she was always trying to compensate, you know. So when we started working together, we worked together for about about 6 to 8 months, and she had been single for 15 years.
Wow.
Single for 15 years. She had gone on 3 dates, 3 different guys, 1 date each guy, okay? So 3 dates in 15 years.
Holy smokes.
Of course anybody in that position is going to believe that it's never going to happen for them. So we worked together and I we did some really, really, really beautiful heartfelt work. You know, we cried together sometimes, like I was so moved, you know, by the work that she did and the healing that she did. 3 months into our work together, she met somebody wonderful, really wonderful. Next thing you know, they're just dating seriously, and maybe a year or 2 later they got married. She sent me a picture of the engagement ring, you know, in a text. Like a month ago, she sends me a text. I haven't talked to her in a couple years now, but she sends me a text with a picture of a new baby.
Oh my goodness. That's incredible.
That may not have been born had she not worked on herself. You know, I can't say that I take like this much of the credit. The credit really, 98, 99% of it is on her because she made the decision to work on herself. Yourself, you know? Right. So, so that, that's really, that's just really, really—
that's incredible. Yeah, I feel like you should have been an ordained minister and married them as well.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, telling me that I should become an ordained minister, and I'm like, listen, I'm just waiting for the invitation to marry somebody, and then I'm gonna go get that thing.
Yeah, like, I'm assuming that you already are because you just come across like that, you know? You do. So, Jemima, I feel like you've always been a scrapper, you know? You have always worked out every situation in your life, but when was an example in your life that you're like, I don't know if I can work this out, you know? And where did you pull that? Yeah. Tell me an example of like, I was really up against the wall. I was in a corner. How did you come out of that?
Oh man, this is, I'm feeling some energy in my heart around this because I'm feeling like right now I have a decision. You know, I could, I could talk about something. Be, you know, really light and basic and simple, or I could just be real, you know? And I think that's gonna, that's gonna be in service to people more, you know? And even if people haven't gone through what I'm going through, everybody has their own version of this piece of themselves that they just don't know what the heck to do with because it's so mysterious and so confusing and so painful, you know? And they maybe they've tried to figure it out and then they stop and, you know, We all have one piece of work like that, right? All of us. So mine is around sex. So as I said, you know, earlier, like, I experienced sexual trauma multiple times as a kid. I have done a profound amount of work on this. I am so happily married to the man of my dreams. I love him every day. I'm just crazy about him. We're crazy about each other.
We get along so good.
Beautifully. Everything is just so wonderful and good about a relationship.
Yeah.
And then there's this sex thing, and I've never talked about this in public before, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to shed light on this, not just for myself, but, you know, whoever is watching.
And thank you for feeling like that you can.
Yeah, yeah, it's time. You know, we are in a time that vulnerability is absolutely vital to move the world in the right direction.
Yeah, yeah.
I think a lot of people would agree with that. So, you know, for some time I thought maybe I am not interested in sex, maybe I'm an asexual, maybe it's just not for me because sex has been one of those things like I enjoy it and I don't enjoy it and then it comes and it goes and I can't— it's like something that I just don't— it's really hard to figure out. I've had a lot of coaching, hypnotherapy, you know, you You name it. It's an ongoing journey for me. And more than anything, Trey, it's an opportunity for me to keep refining how I treat myself when I can't figure out how to turn myself on. I'm almost 40. Can you hear? Just like even saying that out loud is like, wow, that sounds a little crazy.
I know.
Yeah. But when I'm in the flow, it's like multiple orgasms right and left. It's great. But it's a very— it's been a very inconsistent thing, you know. So for me, the greatest gift that's coming from this journey with sex and in knowing how to turn myself on and learn, you know, getting to know my body better and my sexual energy better is it's really helped me to deepen compassion for myself because I used to really beat myself up on this, like, and I would force myself to have sex, even though it was with previous partners, because I felt like a sense of obligation. Like, if I don't have sex with this person, this person's gonna leave me, right? And in my culture, you know, in Latin culture, I mean, maybe it isn't only in my country, I don't know if it's like that in other Latin countries, but in my culture, you know, there's this whole idea that, you know, women should please their husbands, otherwise they'll go somewhere else. I grew up hearing that like ongoingly from women around, you know, in my family. So I'm still honestly undoing that. I'm so— I'm like 90% free of that, you know, where it doesn't come up nearly as much. And when it does, I don't buy into it anymore. But I would say that sex has been a huge, huge source of growth for me, of healing for me, and of of the fire, the passion to develop myself even more so that I can get more and more free of the pain of this.
Wow.
And I've come a very, very, very, very long way for sure. Right.
And that's such a topic. Thank you so much for sharing that because never in a million years would I feel free enough in this moment to talk about sex. Sex in the general term of sex, two people kind of thing, or whatever, but not about myself. And so I'm always empowered and looking for ways to surround myself with people that make me want to be better, people that inspire me to not, you know, hold these things in. Not that on my next podcast it's gonna be like Sex with Emily, you know, but You know, I just, I'm so inspired by your openness and by your honesty, by your vulnerability. And, you know, I know that, you know, you've heard the quote that we're all the average of the 5 people that we spend the most time with. And if I had more Geminis in my life, I think that would be a super fantastic thing. So, I mean, I just, I'm just so blown away by it. You know, for everybody listening, this is our second time to have a conversation, you know, but I feel like you're someone that I've known for a very, very long time. You know, I do. Yeah.
I feel the same way with you, you know, and I'm thinking back to the time that I was in my 20s where I treated everybody like they were my best friend. Then something happened and I closed my heart up. You know, and I'm reopening my heart up.
Oh yeah, to wide open.
Well, again, just more than ever. And I think for me, the formula of feeling like, wow, I've known you forever, is that openness. Like really sharing what's in my heart, not trying to look good as much as I really want to. And if I ever feel like I do, calling myself out with that person and saying, hey, you know, there's a part of me that "Want to look good with you right now and say this, but what's really going on is that." Right, right. And then it gives, you know, a space, a depth of connection and richness is opened up that just, you know, hiding parts of ourselves just cannot make possible.
Right. Oh, I love that. Like keeping those secrets and those feelings, those emotions hidden was like a garden hose that has kinks in it.
Uh-huh.
And as soon as you unkink the first one, here comes the water up, but there's like 5 more kinks.
Yeah.
So as many times as you can unkink it to let your full being, the full person that you are, you know, that you want to present, like it's not held back by all these stories, beliefs, and things that you are feeling afraid to share with other people.
And I want to give people the right impression because this is what I have found, you know, for a long time I thought, okay, you know what? I'm gonna work myself enough, work on myself enough, I'm gonna hire the right coaches, I'm gonna read books, and then I'm gonna get to this place where I'm there, I'm enlightened, I won't have any issues anymore, I won't have any pain anymore. I'm pretty sure that every single person on the path of self-discovery arrives at that place at one point or another, and let me tell you, I am realizing that it's an ongoing, lifelong practice and journey. My sense is that the kinks and the holes will always be there as opportunities for us to practice loving and being there for ourselves when it matters the most, when those kinks come up, when it's hard to love ourselves, when it's uncomfortable to feel, and we want to eat, and we want to do the Netflix, and we want to distract ourselves with exercise or work because it's so uncomfortable. Like, that's a kink, right? And so those are the moments when we need our love and support the most. So I believe that those kinks are there, you know, for, uh, to train us in mastery of self-love and self-acceptance.
I love that. Thank you. So Gemini, you're gonna live to be 110 years old, right? What's the impossible dream that seems totally not doable today or tomorrow or next week? What is the impossible thing that you want to accomplish before you actually transition from this world?
Yeah, this is, this is one of those questions that's, it's exciting and terrifying at the same time. It's exciting to my spirit and it's terrifying to my poor little ancient million-year-old brain who just wants to protect me from all the dangers that don't exist. Around me, right? So my crazy big dream that I've had for almost 20 years, it seemed more impossible then than now, but it still seems like I don't understand how that is gonna happen. But I live in the United States, as you might have guessed, and whoever is listening too, and I look at the government and I see there's something missing in our government. That would be a department, an agency that's focused on emotional intelligence. Oh, okay.
Okay.
Maybe it's the, you know, some department, agency, what have you. So what I envision, you know, when I think of what What kind of world would I love to live in?
Ah!
A world in which leaders, world leaders, all kinds of leaders, have emotional intelligence. As in, they care more about taking care of each other and the planet than paper money.
Right.
You know, money is really important, but it cannot be the main, most important thing at the at the cost of humans and our fulfillment and happiness and whatnot. So in that section of the government, anybody who wants to run for office, for Congress, Senate, House of Representatives, for the president, anybody in the executive branch, hello, they must take an emotional intelligence test to make sure that they're not just going to take over the country make as much money as possible and to really show that they have the capacity for empathy and that they really truly deeply care about people and the environment and animals, you know, more than profits, more than money, more than all of that, you know, that history has shown over and over and over. So I think that would be my big impossible dream is to to co-create that, you know, co-launch that into existence. The reason it feels so impossible is that I'm still learning about politics, you know, I can't say that I'm a huge, you know, fan of politics or that I'm reading something every day or that I want to be in Congress. No, no, no.
Right.
Not really, honestly. But that to me would really, it feels like would change so much of the whole world. Between where I am now and where that— I'm not, believe me, I am not trying to make it happen. What I am doing, okay, I believe in tiny baby steps because I have given up on my big impossible dream many, many, many, many times thinking, who the heck am I? You know, I don't have any degrees. I don't, you know what I mean? Like, I barely finished high school. Yes, I'm amazing at coaching, but who's gonna want to trust me to do something like that? You know, who am I to do something like that? Maybe I'm dreaming too big, you know, maybe I'm just crazy, maybe I'm in over my head, maybe I should just be grateful, okay, for the success that I have now and for the people that I am helping now. But you know what? It's one of those nagging things, you know, and maybe, maybe Trey, it won't look like, maybe my ultimate, you know, expression of my work won't be that, but maybe it'll be something similar, you know? So instead of giving up on this big thing, because I just don't know where to start, honestly, right? Here's what I'm doing. I'm just talking about it.
Just talking about it. So is that the way you replace those limiting beliefs?
Yes. So instead of thinking like, oh my God, I can't do this, I'm dreaming too big. I'm like, you know what? I have no idea. I don't know if this is ever going to happen. It's a big dream of mine. So I'm just going to start sharing it as my big impossible dream and we'll just see what happens.
Because that's the first step, to share it.
Yeah, because it's not a one-person, you know, a mission here. It's a team collaboration. And if I'm never talking about it, well, no one's ever going to know that I have one small piece of that puzzle.
Right. Yeah. No one will ever know because people don't know what you need until you tell them, right?
Exactly. Wow.
This has been incredible today. Gemini, if someone wanted to get in touch with you just to find out more information, possibly, hopefully to work with you, where can they find you? What is your information and contact?
Very easy, lovecoachforwomen.com. And if you want to find me on Instagram or Facebook, it's @lovecoachforwomen.
Nice.
Something else I want to mention that can be found not only on my website but on SoundCloud I have a whole really incredible guided meditation album that I actually happened to create for myself when I was going through it. And then I realized, wait a second, maybe I should share this with other people. And it's been really, really helpful for a lot of people. So that's something that I'd like to recommend as well.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm always looking for new meditation. As a matter of fact, I'm doing a Marisa Peer one. Right now. Yeah.
I got trained with her, by the way.
I saw that. I read that. So, so, okay. I know I said one last question, but I'm so curious about this. Really last question. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Because I know everybody's time is valuable. Who has had the— which mentors had the biggest influence on your work?
Oh my goddess. USM for sure. USM, Marissa Peer, and Rich Litvin. The, the top 3, most definitely.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's incredible. So I've, I've worked well, 2 out of the 3. So yeah, that's, I love that. I love that. And I love that we so closely align even though we're worlds apart and we're so different, but I think very well. So Jim and I, thank you so much. This has been so powerful of a conversation. I mean, it really has. And I really hope that we stay in each other's circles here.
I am going to stay in touch with you whether you like it or not.
I like it.
You know what I'd like to say, Trey, is hope is for 8th graders. I hope she calls me back. I hope he likes it.
Oh, that's so true. Let's just do it.
No, no, no, we are making this happen.
We can make this happen.
Yeah, that's right. Many more powerful conversations to come. It's just been so, so amazing to spend this time with you.
Yes, it has.
Just hanging out, you know. I just look forward to so much more. And the message that I want to leave people with is really like, it doesn't matter what you've gone through. If you think it's the worst thing ever, that you can overcome anything. You can overcome anything. And it just starts with a decision. Even if you have no idea how you're going to make it happen, just saying out loud to yourself, you know what, I'm making the decision that I'm going to make myself better. I'm going to overcome this. I don't know how, I don't know when, but I'm overcoming this. I'm healing this. I'm getting through this, and I'm loving myself through this. And really, the most, most, most, most, most important skill in life I have come across as a person, as a coach, loving and being there for yourself through everything in life.
It's everything.
Oh, that's everything to me.
Thank you so much. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. If you want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviesteward.com. If you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. And if you like what you hear, please do me a favor and subscribe to the show. And remember, life is about Connecting authentically, living with purpose, and having no regrets.
More from Travia
Remember the YOU Who Didn't Overthink Everything #personalgroth #mindset #selfdoubt
