Are morning rituals worth it?

Welcome to Reinvent You. My name is Travia Steward, and I am a performance and life coach. As a coach, I work with people to build confidence, to help them communicate with clarity, and to build strong, thriving relationships. This is the show for you if you want to transform and change your patterns of behavior and how you show up in the world today to better align with what you really want to do in this life. This show is about transformation, and not until you transform yourself first will your relationships, your business, and even your health change. On this show, I encourage you to be honest with yourself about who you are right now and who you want to be, and I can help you find a path to getting there. Welcome to Reinvent You, your guide to connecting authentically, living with purpose, and having no regrets. What's up, what's up, my peeps? So today I actually want to start by giving you very specific tools on what it means to really begin the process of reinventing yourself. Because reinventing yourself, by definition according to Webster, is changing so much that it— you, whatever it is you're doing— appears to be entirely new. And so, so many times we look at ourselves in the mirror and we're not proud of who we see. For so many years of my life, I wasn't proud of who I saw in the mirror. I wasn't proud of the person that I had become. I wasn't proud of the future that I laid out for myself. So in beginning this process, I want you to start asking yourself, What is keeping me from the life that I want? Well, I believe that it starts with how you spend your time every day. Well, first of all, how you spend your time every hour that leads up to how you spend your time every day, that leads up to how you spend your time every week, that leads up to how you spend your time every month, every quarter, every year. And then before you look, it's a decade. How can we get the most change, the most lasting change to begin with? I believe that starts with, first and foremost, your morning. Several years ago, Admiral McRaven wrote a book called "Make Your Bed." And so starting your day off every single day with some discipline, with something that's establishing your character, helps so much. So the very first thing you get out of bed, And, you know, that's to say that you're the only one in the bed, you know, right? So if you are getting up by yourself, or if the other person is getting up, you're getting up together, the very first most important thing you can do for your day is establishing that routine of discipline of making your bed. Because how you do one thing is absolutely how you do everything. You know, establishing that morning routine isn't easy to begin with. It's easier and it's more tempting to lay there and go, "Oh, I'm going to snooze. Oh, I, you know, it's not that important that I get up and do these things. You know, I can spend that extra 30, 40, you know, an hour getting more sleep because I probably didn't get to bed on time last night. So I'm waking up and feeling sluggish. I'm feeling tired." We make so many excuses of why we don't need to do it, why it's not important at all. So my journey, my journey of establishing my morning routine, my before, I was a person who didn't, I didn't know the benefit of actually having a routine that set me up for success, having a routine that helped me to energize my body, So before I did any of the things that I do today, I was, I was overweight. I was overweight for probably most of my 30s and then early in my 40s. And I just didn't take it very seriously that I needed to get up and exercise. That starting my day with exercise was going to help give me more energy. I remember, you know, I have some really close friends who, who live in Montana. And so one summer we went up to visit, and this was, you know, before I lost a significant amount of weight, because I didn't see that light go on until then. But we had gone up to visit our friends Val and Kevin, and we were exploring Montana. We were exploring the glaciers. And Val and Kevin are a little older, and I always considered myself to be pretty active. Well, I remember we were walking downhill. Downhill is worse than uphill if you have bad knees, you know. And so I remember we were walking downhill, and I, at that time, I weighed over 200 pounds. I did. You You know, I'm not ashamed to say that because of where I am now, but I would've been ashamed to admit that then. But I remember we were walking downhill, down an incline, and my knees were screaming. They hurt so bad and I couldn't keep up with anyone. And so at that moment I said, "You guys go ahead. I'll take pictures from here. You go ahead because I—" was overweight and my knees hurt and it hurt too bad to walk down the incline. And so I missed out on some fun. And so I remember thinking, it was on that trip that I said, "I have got to, I've gotta get a grip. I've gotta get control of my life. I don't wanna miss out on things." You know, and no, I didn't weigh 400 pounds. I didn't, you know, I could still do some things, but I was pretty unhealthy because I just, you know, I'm from New Orleans, from the New Orleans area, so we love to eat. Everything tastes good. And so I just revamped every single thing there was about my health. I went on a diet and I lost, I went on a diet for like 5 months or whatever. It was very, very extreme, but I lost 54 pounds. And I never felt better than I had once I have accomplished that goal. And so getting my, my weight under control gave me back more energy. I started liking more of what I saw in the mirror. I started enjoying moving my body more, you know, because I've always been an athlete. But when you're carrying on so much weight, so much extra weight, it's hard to be an athlete. It's hard to visualize yourself as an athlete. It's hard to get out there and do athletic things because you're out of out of breath because you're breathing hard because, you know, you're just tired and your joints and you, you just, everything hurts. And so after I lost that weight, I realized that I never wanted to feel myself get to that point again. I never wanted to miss out on things because my knees hurt. I never wanted to watch my friends go do something that I couldn't partake in. So the very first thing is I made a commitment to myself to exercise in the morning. And sometimes I actually do it twice a day because in the morning it's important for me to get up and do some cardio. And then I, you know, I enjoy strength training. So sometimes I come back in the afternoon and I might do a strength training session. But at the very least, I make sure I get my exercise in because building that habit, building that muscle, of exercise has turned my life into such a better place. You know, I, I have energy to do things that I, that I used to not be able to do, you know. And I don't want to be one of these people who age and who can't do anything, you know, that you live and, and you retire and all, and now the only thing that you can do is just kind of sit around and watch everybody else do it. The second thing that I was a part of before I started this was I was really anxious. I was easily overwhelmed. You know, something would happen if things didn't go the way that I wanted them to go during the day, I would easily just sort of blow my top. But I'm not a person who blew my top like externally. I would just hold it all in. I would just internalize it and I would feel all this angst and anxiety. And not really know how to deal with it. And then the second thing I started doing was I started meditating. I didn't know how to meditate first, you know, and you guys have heard me talk about this. I think it's so important, but I started meditating and during my meditative process, I started setting my intention and I started practicing gratitude. And a lot of people, you know, I work with clients who are like, you know, well, it just seems kind of like routine, you know, to get up and pretend to be grateful for these things. Well, you know, if you have air in your lungs, you have, you know, you're walking, you're breathing, you have a roof over your head, you have clothes on your back, you have food on your table. It's not very hard to be grateful for those things, you know. And so starting my days off with setting my intention on how I want to show up today and meditating so that if anything is thrown my way then I can deal with it. And so that's the second thing that's greatly changed my life for the better. Then the third thing, the third thing was I wasn't doing anything to feed my mind. Before I went on this journey of, of basically reinventing myself, I would just get up and, you know, quickly turn on the TV or I would quickly grab my phone. I would check email. I would check social media, anything that, you know, sort of would feed me and put me in this mind space of negativity. And then the entire rest of the day, I would be reactive rather than proactive. So the third thing that I think is important is I feed my mind. I feed my mind with something that I feel like is for me, something that I feel like I'm learning, something that's going to help me grow that, that 1%. If it's something that I'm working on, something that makes me feel alive, inspired, and motivated. You know, I started listening to a lot of podcasts. I mean, here we are, I now have my own podcast. And so because I want to help you guys get the kind of life that you want, I also have, you know, I listen to a lot of audiobooks. Anything that I can use to fill my mind helps me to alleviate the times when my mind isn't thinking productively and it just allows the time for negativity to come in. And then, you know, those are weeds that are sprouting up in your thoughts, in your brains, and then before you look, you are swimming and drowning in a sea of negativity. And so how do you begin to view these things? Well, you can't have a negative attitude. You cannot have a negative attitude about, you know, "Oh, this isn't gonna work. Oh, this is stupid. You know, who does this?" That kind of thing, right? So you have to be able to find a way to think that these new habits that I'm establishing are going to set me up for such a change, such a different type of life to where I feel inspired and motivated. It's gonna set me up for a successful day because you know why? I'm starting from a place of positivity. And just having a plan, having a plan of how you're going to spend your time that day helps so much to start in a positive place. So the very next thing that I do is after I've exercised for energy, after I've meditated, Even before I start my meditation, I get up and I drink 16 ounces of water. Sometimes that has lemon juice in it, sometimes it's just water, but I immediately get up and I hydrate my body so that again I'm setting it up for success. I also love— you guys hear me talk about my Four Sigmatic coffee. I love having my coffee during my meditation. So I put these things in my morning that I absolutely love. And then part of my weight loss journey, the next thing that I do is I realize that intermittent fasting works so incredibly well for me because, you know, everybody loves bread. I love bread. I love pasta. I love all that stuff, right? But it makes me feel sleepy. It makes me feel lazy. It makes me feel sluggish. So I started paying attention to how food affects my body. And I started paying attention to what are the foods that give me energy compared to the foods that drain me of energy. And so I started cutting those things out. But most importantly, you know, where people, you know, a lot of trainers still say, oh, let's get your metabolism rate up. You know, let's eat, you know, 5 small meals, 6 small meals a day, right? That worked for me for a while, but then I was just always craving something, always constantly hungry, always wanting to chew and snack on something. And then I found intermittent fasting, and I feel so incredible when I am not eating, when I am not having to work, when my body's not having to work. To digest food. I feel incredible the longer that I don't eat. And so sometimes when I eat, you know, there— I'm training my body to, to go, you know, 18, 19 hours without eating. And then sometimes I eat in a 4-hour window and I still feel absolutely incredible. So those are the things that I have put into my day that help that's helping me still live the life that I want to live on my terms, but most importantly, set me up for success. Now, it didn't just happen overnight. This has been easily an 8 to 10 year process of me finding the things that work for me every single morning. It took time to get here, right? So you're thinking right now, what are the things that are going to motivate you to get up? What is going to be your big why to find time to do this, to fit you in the schedule? So we all know that time is a huge obstacle. We tend to think, I don't have enough time as it is, you know. What do you mean get up and go meditate and go sit in the backyard and go do such and such and sing Kumbaya, that kind of thing? I barely have time to get out of bed, get shower, get to work, right? That's the problem, because if we're always rushing from one thing to the other, you don't have the time to put yourself first. Well, then how can lasting change even begin to take effect? You know, you're probably also someone sitting there thinking, you know, I don't think any of this will do a single thing to help me. You know, starting with gratitude is one of the best things you can ever do. Starting with things that fill your mind, starting with energy that gives you the energy to basically make it through your body, through your day, so you don't have to like sleep all day, so you're not sluggish, so you're not lethargic. All of that will help you be so much more successful, so much more productive. And then you might be in a household with someone who doesn't really see your vision, who doesn't support you in this journey of, I'm going to get up and really, I'm going to get up and put myself first. Because I'm an advocate that if you do not put yourself first, then you can't give to anybody else because you are coming from a place of, of a void. You know, like, if you don't feel whole, how can you possibly authentically, in, in a whole sense, give to someone else? And then the most important thing about getting up and creating these habits or keeping a commitment— keeping your word to yourself should always win. Over keeping your word to others? You know, I'm a person who, from experience, who's liked external validation, external someone to keep me accountable. But my goodness, if I can't hold myself accountable, then what does that say about me? So I learned how to work that out. So ask yourself, is it more important right now for you to keep your words to others Or is it more important for you to keep your word to yourself? And so keeping up the discipline and the commitment of that is first and foremost. So how do we do it? We experiment with these things that we think that we enjoy, that's going to set us up for success. Now we got to go through and start building that habit, right? The first 1 to 7 days, what's going to happen is you're going to have some small wins. But you're also going to experience a lot of resistance. You know, you're going to hear that little voice going, 'Oh, this is silly.' You know, you can be laying in the bed sleeping, you can be doing such and such, 'I can get to work earlier.' All this resistance will rise up because it's your subconscious that wants to keep you safe. It wants to keep you doing the exact same things that you've always done because you've trained it, and that's what it thinks you need. So it's tempting to just fall off the wagon and not even think that it's benefiting you at all. But those day— the day 1 through 7 days is so pivotal to being consistent. So even if you started days 1 through 7 and you fell off, start over. Start over. Build that discipline and that consistency so that you can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of having kept your word to yourself. Yourself. And then we talk about days 8 through 21. Once you're getting through the 7— once you've gotten through those 7 days, you start to build up a little bit of momentum. Your brain begins to go, oh, this is pretty good, I like the way we're feeling here, right? Because you've started your day off with gratitude, you've started your day off with a little energy, you've started your day off feeling really good. I like to assess where I am on a scale of 1 to 10. Generally my number is an 8. Right? Today, because I got up, I did all the things that I've explained to you before, I'm a 9. And so I love how starting my day like this keeps me going. And so during this time, you're also going to be tempted that, "Oh, I've done it. I don't really need to be consistent because I've established the change. Change is here." Don't trust that. Nuh-uh. Don't you trust that because it'll lie to you. And then A day will go by, you'll miss a day. Then a day will become 2 days. Then a day, 2 days will become a week. And then before you look, you're right back to where you started. You have to stay vigilant. You have to stay consistent. If you like what you're hearing, and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviesteward.com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.