Bridging The Divide | Travia Steward Coaching @traviasteward

Think about the last time you had a tough conversation with someone, with a group of people about politics, your beliefs, or even something more personal than that. Did it bring you closer to that other person or did it push you further away? Here's the uncomfortable truth. The way leadership, influence, and tough conversations take place these days, for most people, is not something that should be the norm. Today I'm sharing why leading differently in 2024 isn't just a better way, it's actually the boldest way. This is Lead with Confidence Now, the podcast dedicated to helping you grow your confidence and live your best life. I'm Travia Steward, and for the past 27 years, I've been on a mission to help you reinvent your relationships and career. My goal with this podcast is to show up for you so that you can rock your own world with the confidence to make that big change in your life you've been wanting to make. What's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Thursday. Last week I was taking part in a challenge because I'm always, as an entrepreneur, I'm always seeking to learn new and efficient and effective ways to get things done, like to bring in more sales, to have clear marketing. So I was listening to this guy and his name is Dan Henry, and part of the training which motivated this episode was that he was teaching people on the call to attack people's core values. He was proposing that when you attack a core value of a certain group of people, that then makes you endearing to another group of people who are more like you. And so he was talking about in building a personal brand, suggesting that finding out what the other side values, and then we speak against it. Find out what your and my market despises, and we speak to that. And so one of the things that he shared about himself was that he was openly promoting his conservative views, and then he was dissing liberals. And he said he was someone that he doesn't sell to liberals, he doesn't want liberals in his, in his audience or making students, because liberals don't want to make money. Now, I'm a Democrat and I want to make money. I don't consider myself a liberal, I'm a Democrat, and I want to make a lot of money. And so when he says that, you know, I was feeling some kind of weight. And the old Trey would have been like, I'm just not going to listen to this guy, I'm going to get off the call, blah blah blah blah. And so I found it so much more effective to actually listen to him rather than just tuning out and going, I hear you, but I'm not going to necessarily do what you say. But I love learning how other people are operating, and in this instance, I want to do just the opposite. Because the thing that he was pushing, sure, it might work for some people, it might actually bring in a couple dollars from a certain group of people, but let's call it what it is. It's divisive. It's, I believe, ultimately damaging. I believe it opens the door to pandering to more hate and more discord in, in this world today. And again, it normalizes— this is the worst part— it normalizes people in society who are being the loudest, who are being the loudest critical voice, and it normalizes that if you're making the most noise, if you're the squeakiest wheel, and if you're tearing down and hating people, that that is more valuable, it makes more money than being kind, being loving, being thoughtful, being considerate, being compassionate. But here's the thing, if your brand of leadership, your brand in your personal life, your message depends on tearing others down, are you truly building something meaningful or are you just making noise in a world that is already drowning in hate and discord and division? Because I believe influence isn't about fueling division. I believe it's about fostering connection. And in a world where everyone is shouting, the real power lies and really choosing a different path. So last week, this was the second motivation for this episode. I took a Lyft. I took a Lyft with this guy named, he was a driver, and his name was Don. Out of the blue, you know, Don started talking about, "How's your day going?" That kind of thing. And I'm a very friendly person, so I love to engage in conversation. Somehow, Don quickly went to politics. So he started saying, Yeah, you know, I'm friendly too, and I like to pick up people, but I don't pick up people from— if I think they're from Chicago, if I think they're from, you know, New Orleans, in the whole state of California. He started naming off these cities and the whole state of California. And of course, and he goes, and you can guess what that, what that common denominator is, right? And I said, because they're blue states, they're Democrats. He goes, bingo, got it. I don't pick those people up. And so openly said, well, you just picked one up. I don't live in any of those states, but I am a Democrat. Then he immediately said, well, I don't agree with a lot of things the Democrats do, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Again, because I want to be able to have conversations with people that don't turn into somebody pulling out a gun or somebody cursing the other person out, his reasoning was that he just didn't agree with the politics. Or their views. I could feel some of the tension rising in the car. It would have been easy to just go, "I need to just keep the peace here. Why are we talking about politics in this Lyft ride?" I didn't want to push back or even argue, but I wanted to do something meaningful. And instead, so instead of adding fuel to the fire, I shared with Don that I'm a Democrat, and though you're a conservative, what we want to— what I wish we have in common is that we both want to be kind, we both want to be loving, and we both want the best for our brothers and sisters. That's what I hope we have in common. This moment reminded me of a powerful truth. I believe that there are people out there who actually want to fight They want to be seen. They want to be heard. But, you know, I believe that if you lead and counteract that divisiveness with love and compassion, maybe it won't work with everybody, but it certainly is a different kind of start. Because when we shift our conversations from hate towards love, we create a space that is bigger than division. Because let's face it, division has become the currency in our world. Politicians, Influencers, even big brands profit from keeping us angry and distracted. And people like Dan Henry may claim that it's marketing, but in reality, they're fueling a cycle that keeps us divided, reactive, and easy to manipulate and easy to control. But here's a challenge that I'm putting forward today. What if we refuse to play that game? What if we choose connection? And love over conflict. Because history proves that the most impactful leaders didn't build their legacies by tearing others down. Dr. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi— all of them faced tough battles and fierce opposition, but their influence was not rooted in, rooted in hate. It was rooted in love. So that helped to provide a better vision for the future that they all envisioned for us. And one of my favorite, my favorite quotes by Dr. King is, darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Love this quote because I believe it's a blueprint for the influence that I want to have, the influence that I believe that stands a test of time. Because I believe that hate is cheap, love takes courage. Hate divides, and love builds. And here is where I really want to get specific, is leading with love isn't just about being kind or just avoiding conflict. It really comes down to rejecting a system that is designed to pit us against each other. And instead of doing that, it's about stepping into a higher level of leadership where connection is power and connection is influence., and it's also rooted in authenticity and respect and not outrage. And the reason why I believe this matters so much is simple, because leadership influence isn't about just winning arguments or shouting louder than the other side. It's about leaving people better than you found them. And when you lead with love, you don't just change the conversation, you change the whole game. You move from being reactive to proactive, from fueling division to creating unity. You become the kind of leader who doesn't just attract followers and employees, but inspires them to think, to connect, to grow and evolve. Because the way that so many of these marketers, these influencers are teaching influence is not in a way that I want to be a part of. And I don't want to be a part of anything that's keeping us from building the kind of world that we all, that I believe people of good heart want to live in. So the real choice here is choosing love over hate, connection over conflict, building bridges instead of walls. I want you to think about how can you take more bold action in your life and build some bridges instead of wall. And so what does this have to do with the work that I do as a coach? Everything. The heart of my coaching is about helping you break through all of those barriers, those patterns, those paradigms. Those ways of thinking and help you create a life that is aligned with your values and goals, and not one that is aligned or is following the principles and the patterns of someone else. Because at the very core of every breakthrough that I help my clients get is a mindset shift, the willingness to challenge old patterns and to actually choose that different path that leads to where you want to go. And so this episode isn't just about conversations or divisions. It's about how you lead in your life. In at work, at home, and asking yourself, are you letting fear, hate, or even negativity keep you playing small or holding you back? Or are you ready to lead with love, build bridges, and focus on what really matters, which what really is going to move the needle? And if you're ready to take that next step to overcome your limiting beliefs, to build the confidence you need to uplevel your life and create the life you've been dreaming of, I'm here to help. My peeps, let's work together to create the breakthroughs that you've been waiting for in your life. To wrap it up, if this episode made you think differently, I really would love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it. Someone who needs to hear about— maybe they know about it, but they just need to be reminded of the power of love over hate. The power of building bridges instead of walls. The power of building people up instead of tearing them down. And so, and if you are ready to stop reacting to insanity and chaos and start actually leading with purpose. Let's connect. Together we can create the, the confidence, the clarity, and the leadership that you've actually been waiting for because you have the power to flip the script. You have the power to tell a different story, to lead with love, and to actually create something extraordinary. All right, my peep, until next week, remember this: The boldest leaders don't tear others down. They build something bigger. Be that leader.