Travia Steward walks through goal-setting for 2021 with a life assessment, seven reflective questions, and a visualization exercise. You'll score yourself across relationships, career, health, and finances, then break your goals into concrete action steps and build a digital vision board.
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You are listening to episode number 35 of the Reinvent You Podcast. Did you know that only 7% of people who set New Year's resolutions actually achieve them? Welcome to the Reinvent You Podcast, where we share information that can help you create the best you that can result in making major changes in your life. My name is Travia Steward, and I'm a performance and life coach. If you want to know how to start making small changes that can lead to better health, better relationship, and an overall better life, this is the place for you. Hello, my peeps! I hope everyone had a great holiday, a great Christmas. And tonight, as we— many of us are looking forward to closing out the 2020 chapter and opening a new one, you know, I think we can all agree that 2020 was a year with a lot of challenges and a lot of changes. Right? And it depends on our perspective on how we view 2020. Because this is the last episode of 2020, I wanted to give out a few shouts to the people who left reviews. I thank you so much. We, you know, the first review was left by McManurator, and then UNLV23, Daniel Rowan, Coach Pokey, and Luke Cat. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it. And, you know, this year has flown by so fast. And just like each year, we have a fresh outlook for the new year, right? We all have goals and resolutions, and we want to become more. We want to do more. COVID hit early this year, and we've all had to endure a year that, you know, we've never seen before in most of our lifetimes. I know not in my lifetime. Many of us, you know, we look at 2020 as a total waste, a year that was— can be categorized as a bad year. But in this moment, I want to challenge you to find at least 3 to 5 things that you can be grateful for, for 2020. That way we can use 2020 as a year where we learn some valuable lessons, about others, about ourselves, about what we are capable of, right? In this last year, I learned so much about myself and who I am as a Coach and who I am as a person and the impact that I want to have on this earth. I always knew that, you know, my spouse and I got along well, but since most of us are working from home, we were working from home. We grew even closer because of COVID because we were working from home. You know, we thoroughly enjoyed every moment of that, you know, getting to spend extra time together. So I know that that's something positive that I can take out of this experience. And as for the podcast and my YouTube channel, it's been an absolute honor to be here every week. And I just want to thank you guys for listening and tuning in. And if you're getting value from the podcast, I would love it if you would, if you haven't already, if you would leave a review, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And I would be so appreciative. It, you know, we all seek a level of external validation and doing podcasts, you know, it takes work, but you want to know and feel that you are providing value for people. So I would love it if you guys could leave a review and let me know how, you know, in what other ways that I could help you reach your goals in 2021. Okay. So 2 weeks ago, we did some looking back at 2020. We were analyzing things that worked. We analyzed things that didn't work and what we could possibly do differently moving forward into 2021. You know, today, because January 1st is tomorrow, we are diving into creating your dream year today. I want you to use all the things that you learned from looking back at your 2020 to give you greater clarity to make 2021 happen on your terms. I don't want you to think of this as, as, you know, the same old goal setting episode that, you know, that you hear every single year. And in this episode, we're going to discuss how to assess the major areas of your life with a life assessment test. That you can find on my website. I'm going to walk you through an exercise, a purpose exercise to help you find what are your true goals that you're aligned with for the major areas of your life and what things you actually love that maybe you've suppressed at one time or another, you know, for one reason or another. I want to help you establish meaningful goals today that are actually your goals and not somebody else's by answering these 7 questions. And then I want to help you create your vision wallpaper for when you absolutely run out of motivation, because that will happen. But you need something to be a visual reminder for you so you can jump right back on that wagon. And then I want to take a moment and strategize how to make those things happen. So this is a good episode to maybe take some notes and do the work along with me. You may need even more time to make some of these decisions to like maybe, you know, think things through a little longer. And because an episode will probably go a little faster than you have time to think, but what I want you to not do is overthink these things. Really listen to your body, listen to your intuition, listen to how things make you feel and be decisive and make decisions. So first of all, most people know that we all set goals on January 1st, right? Because we look for, oh, there's the light at the end of the tunnel. I can wipe 2020 out of the way. 2021 is coming. But again, only 7% of people who set New Year's resolutions actually achieve them. How many times have we seen the gym membership the first week in January? The gym is so packed that the regular gym people are like, ah, you know, where did all these people come from? And then by February, that usually dies down. You know, how many of you have had the same goal for multiple years? Well, I know I have. My January 1 goal for like 8 to 10 years in a row was to lose a specific number of pounds. I've used SMART goals before. I've used Brendon Burchard's planner. I've used, you know, goal setting stuff from Jack Canfield, from Rachel Hollis, and many others, Tony Robbins. I've had vague goals. I've had specific goals. Either way, there was a general theme of me falling short until I found out what worked for me. So before we dive into how to do this today, let's talk about the importance of having a goal, right? Using the looking back evaluation as your guide for 2021, having goals actually gives your brain something new to focus on because your brain has a tendency to want to focus on the things that you've already created. It wants to focus on the past. It wants to focus on the present. It doesn't know how to focus on the future until you give it a goal. Without a new and specific goal, you will default to creating more of what you already have in your life. And if that's not where you want to be, even if you think your 2020 was so successful, we still want to constantly grow and improve. So to begin with, we want to start with how happy are you with your life right now? Are you fulfilled by your work and your relationship? Are you excited to get up each day, you know, with a hop in your step? You know, are you excited for the day? Do you have good work-life balance? You know, we want to start this year off by working to become the best version of ourselves in the categories that mean the absolute most. Now, a good example, a quick way to get a bird's eye view of how you feel about your life and a good place to start, on my website at traviestewart.com, I have a life assessment test, life assessment test, that can provide you with the clarity that you need in what areas are working well and maybe which areas just need some focusing. It only takes less than, you know, 2 to 3 minutes to complete. But this is completely subjective. It's your opinion on how you view your life. And how we can make each category, each area of your life improve to a 10. Okay. So for the last few years, I've been doing something that I learned from John Maxwell in the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. And then, um, I follow Rachel, Rachel Hollis as well. And so I liked her take on it and I adopted that for myself. And I think it's so, so cool, right? So every year, generally around this week before January 1st, I go through every day of my calendar and all of the appointments. So I try to be pretty diligent about putting everything down on my calendar, where I spend my time, who I spend it with, so that when the end of the year comes, I go back and I look at it. I look at all the appointments I had. And then in my journal, as I get ready to wrap up this previous year, I make two categories. One category is for great use of time, money, and energy. The second category is a complete waste of time, money, and energy. And before I learned to value myself and my time, I would say yes to lots of things. A lot of those things, you know, didn't move me closer to my goal.. It didn't rejuvenate me. It didn't improve my relationships, you know, for the better. So 3 years in a row I've been doing this. 3 years ago, I look back because I generally put the number in it, you know, I, I keep a running tab because, you know, if you don't track, if you don't measure it, then you don't know how much you're actually improving. So 3 years ago, I was at 43% of great use of time, money, and energy. 43%. The other 57% was doing things that other people wanted me to do, doing things that didn't move my goals closer, right? Then last year, because I was even more focused on switching that, I jumped up to a whopping 72%. But there was still way more time where I like, I'm still doing so much of what other people want, so many things that I don't like. So when I just look back at my 2020, that number jumped again. So this year, 85% of the time I did things that I considered a great use of time, a great use of money, and a great use of energy. And so all of those things, I think, were things important to me, things that were making me a better person. And things that were helping me to become a better Coach. So maybe you can take some time and do this exercise. Go back and look at your calendar and go, where did I spend the most amount of time? And am I happy with this time that I spent? Then the next thing, the next thing we are going to talk about is these 7 questions. So the first question is, what are you still holding on to from 2020 that continues to take up mental space, emotional space, or physical space. That can be negative thoughts. That can be something happened to you in January that you can't seem to let go of, that you keep repeating and repeating and repeating and thinking about over and over again. What are you holding on to from 2020 that's taking up space, that's preventing you from taking the next step, the next action? The number 2, what things do you absolutely not want to do next year? What things will you absolutely say no to? And some of us don't put those 2 letters together enough, N and O, and say no because we are pleasers. We are yes people who want to— you know, we think saying yes to everything will get us more money, will get us more friends, will get us more of what we want. But in actuality, if it's not something that's going for self-care, where it's, you know, personal growth, those types of things, it ends up going in that second column, that second column of a waste of time, energy, and money. And then number 3, what are the goals you swore you'd reach last year and maybe the year before? Is it always a weight loss goal? So I want you to write that down. What are the goals you swore you'd reach last year? And then number 4, Deep wants. What is it that you want more than anything in this world? And sometimes we don't allow ourselves to really think about it. We don't allow ourselves to really want it because we stop short of believing that it could happen because of present circumstances. Well, we all know that your brain wants to make decisions based on what you're capable of, based on your past and your present. It doesn't think about the future. It doesn't visualize. So we have to train our brain to go, this is what's possible for me, so that I can start making decisions from possibility instead of from our past experiences. So what deep want do you have that you still have, you know, deep down in your core? And then number 5, when you think about setting and achieving goals, what stops you? Is it that you need accountability, getting an accountability partner? What stops you? Do you not have any follow-through? What stops you? Do you not know how to do a plan of action? What stops you? Is it just that you don't take the action steps? You just don't do it because you'd rather spend your time doing something else. And number 6, what is your highest value? What goals do you want to accomplish that align with your values. You know, something like values may look like freedom. You value accomplishment. You value security and certainty, knowing things are going to turn out the way they are. You might value adventure, experiences, life experiences. You might value your health and longevity. You might value laughter. But figuring out what your highest value is is another great question to ask so that we fully align with that. And then number 7, is the goal something that you really want, or is it something that you think you should have or should be doing because it's expected from your parents or your friends or from society? So is it something that you really want? Or is this something you think you should want or be doing? I like to make these decisions and answer these questions, also incorporating the emotion that I want to feel. The two top emotions that drive me are anticipation and exhilaration, and I like to produce those feelings whenever I feel like I'm lacking that. And so I am a person who who likes motivation. I'm gear— the motivation that works for me is looking for the visualization, is actually thinking of going towards it and completing it, because I'm drawn towards pleasure. I'm drawn towards the experience of what I'm going to feel, and I love anticipating how great that will be. Now, some people are motivated by the pain. If I don't do such and such, I won't get paid. If I don't have a deadline, I won't write that term paper. I won't complete that report. How are you motivated? And what are the feelings that you want to feel in those moments that make you feel your absolute best? And so just being intentional with those things, figuring out your values, what are the emotions you want to feel? So answering those questions is another great place to start in doing the work to set up for 2021. This next part, I want to walk you through a purpose exercise. To find, you know, some things that you may have forgotten that you felt, you forgot that you loved. You may have suppressed it for one reason or another. The answers that come up are unique to you, to your personality, your values, and your dreams that you've always had for yourself. This is an exercise I've done some training with Stephen Gilligan. And sometimes with our purpose, it comes from a deeper place inside of you. And so right now, I want you to close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, I want you to take 3 deep breaths and you're going to inhale and exhale slowly. Get in touch with your whole body, your physical body, how you're feeling. And I want you to think about a powerful memory that you've had. And as you think about that, I want you to continue to breathe in, breathe in every bit of that, that memory that makes you feel good, that memory that breathes in love, breathes in possibility, right? Breaths out the resistance and the doubt and the fear. I want you to think about a time in your life where you felt so amazing that you want to feel those feelings every single day. Take yourself back to that moment right now, to that feeling, and relive how you felt. That day, in that moment, was it a place? Was it a time in your life where you felt so loved? Was it a wedding day? Was it the birth of a child? Was it the day, you know, you were proposed to or you proposed to someone else? Was it the day you did your first talk? Now I want you to scan your life moments as if you're looking at them all play out in front of you. And, and answering this next series of questions, I don't want you to second-guess it. I just want you to think about the very first thing that pops in your mind. So coming from that place of feeling so good, so amazing, Ask yourself, who is the person who inspired you or touched you the most when you were a child? Was it a family member? Was it a teacher? Was it a friend who inspired you? Who made you feel loved, appreciated, seen, and heard? Who was that person that pops into your mind right now? That gave that to you. The next thing I want you to ask yourself is, when you think about a difficult time in your life, when you went through something that made you stronger, what was that time? When were you back pushed up against a wall you're back up against the wall and you worked it out? When in your life did you believe, how am I going to be able to come through this? I have no idea. But you did. When was a period in your life where you felt so strong and you took that belief and those characteristics from that situation and you were able to apply different aspects of your life? And I want you to bring your mind to a book or a movie or a piece of art that inspires you or amazes you. You know, was there a life lesson? Was that a pivotal moment? You know, that this movie, this book, this art, did it call to you? Did it make you feel a certain way? There's a reason why we're drawn. It's a reason why certain things resonate with us. I want you to imagine yourself looking back at your life at the end of life, and then imagine that you're really, really happy, and allow yourself to see what it was that you did. What was it about the way that you live that made you feel so happy? Allow those events to play out in your head. Allow those events to play out as you create the life that you see for yourself. And you're so proud. You're looking back at this and you're like, I did it. I did these things that I said I was going to do. I lived the life that I said I was going to live. I want you to bring all of those feelings of feeling happy because we all strive for an emotional place I want you to think of the emotions that you feel with a sense of accomplishment, the feelings of inspiration and belonging. And I want you to recall how all of those things made you feel. And then ask yourself, what is the things that's calling to me right now based on my favorite books, Based on how I felt, who was that teacher, friend, or mentor, or family member that made me feel a certain way? Are these things that I want to give back to other people? As soon as you become open to your calling, there is always resistance or refusal of the call. But right now, I want you to dig deep, and I want you to think of, I felt these feelings for a reason. These feelings, these experiences are unique to me. They are no one else's to be had. And in this moment, I want you to write down what you think you got from this exercise. Journal now all of the things that came up for you and create a new sense of possibility. So take some time right now and pause this, this video, pause this podcast right now, and do this work right now. It's in these moments, it's in those moments of which you found strength that you can now recover the things about yourself that you may have forgotten or that you may still love and just needed to uncover. OK, so now that we've gotten clear on maybe some things that we feel like we're drawn to, some things that bring us more fulfillment, Now I want you to look at the 4 major categories of your life. I want you to look at your relationships. I want you to look at your career. I want you to look at your health and look at your finances. And on a scale of 1 to 10, I want you to go, okay, if I'm a 6 today with my relationships, what's it going to take to make it a 10? Does that mean I need to be more proactive? Does it mean I need to have a date night with my spouse once a week? What is that going to look like? And I want you to write a very specific goal, something that's measurable, not something that's vague, but something that's measurable. Then I want you to do the same thing for your career. And I want you guys to think like boldly. Don't, don't think like, oh, I just want it to be better. We can't measure better, right? For your career, maybe it's a certain amount of money that you want to make. Maybe for your health, maybe you want to drop a certain amount of body fat. But what is most important is that you attach a WHY to these things, because just having these arbitrary numbers like, oh, I want to lose 10 lbs. But what makes it achievable? What gives you the motivation to jump back on that path when you lose motivation? It is your bigger WHY. So, if it is something like, you know, that you really want to lose a certain amount of pounds. Maybe your big WHY is so that you can have more mobility, so that you can have vitality, so you can live the life and have adventure in your life, so you can be around for your children, your grandchildren, your spouse. Instead of just looking at the number, think of your WHY. When it comes down to You know, even relationships, not that I want to just get better, but something bigger than that, because I want to experience the kind of love that I've never experienced before in my life. I want to leave this earth knowing that I gave all that I could give to my, my relationship, my spouse, the people that I love in my life. And then to wrap it all up, I want you to create a digital vision board. You know, a lot of people are doing vision boards right now, and a lot of people sometimes, you know, you go to like an art store or, you know, somewhere where you can get supplies, and some people will cut out pictures in a magazine, will glue them on the wall. I've done that too, but you know, I don't— I've grown fond of digital vision boards, because if I want to print it out, I can print it out. But what I want you to do is, in especially those 5 categories, and then create your own if there's something else you want to achieve, I want you to find visual reminders of what that goal means to you. You know, so for instance, one of my visual reminders is, I'm not sure if you guys are aware, but I really love bodybuilding. And I am in awe over the fact that like physique competitors, bodybuilders can get their, their bodies to that level of aesthetics. My God, it's beautiful. And so one of the pictures that I have on my vision board is of Cydney Gillon, who is a Miss Olympia, a Miss Olympia, and 4 years running. And so I would love— so it's, it's, it's, it's something that I'm striving for. So that is on my vision board. So I want you guys to create a digital vision board, okay? And so generally at the beginning of the year, many people find a word. Many people find something that's going to remind them. Sometimes that can be a question. Maybe it can be something like, you know, what is it that I want to bring into the world and that you're going to remind yourself of what that thing is you want to bring into the world. Maybe you, you print that out. It's at the top of your vision board. And then the rest are pictures because we want to use pictures instead of just words, because visual imagery are the ways that things are cemented up here. Right. And once you have those very specific goals and you have your why, I want you to break your goals down into smaller action steps. And these action steps need to be specific. They need to be clear, concrete. They also need to be doable. So don't set yourself up for failure by making it so big you're looking 12 steps down the road. If it's something like weight loss, concentrate on the first 10 pounds, the first 10, the first 5 pounds, the first 10 pounds, and then just keep repeating that. Many people think that they have to have the confidence and they have to feel all these things before they start it. No, you have to take action. You have to take action to create the momentum. And then you celebrate all those small wins. If you lost the 5 pounds, celebrate that. Maybe you lost the 2 pounds, celebrate that. Celebrate each win along the way. So even the small things that you don't even think matter, all of those wins really do. All of those wins will create momentum for you. And I want you to take sometime again, every time you visit this, and remember your big why. So every time, you know, when momentum falls, when there's a lull, when you're like, I don't feel like doing it, if you create a big enough why, you'll be re-motivated, you'll be reinvigorated just by reading the statement why, because you'll be integral to your word, and it's what you really want. So what keeps most of us from getting what we want is a fear of failure. Sometimes we can't even see how to really make it happen. We can't see how this time will be different from all the other times. And your brain will want you to avoid how it'll make you feel if you fail. But I want you to. I want me to. Lean in despite the fear. Feel the feelings, and choose to believe that those feelings don't scare you enough to not try. Start shifting your beliefs from, I can't do this thing, to something that you can believe. I can do this thing. I am on my way to accomplishing this. Get an accountability partner, if you need one, to hold you accountable for making progress, for taking progress each week or each day. And then also make sure your goals are not conflicting with something else, because we don't want these things butting head, right? You want to make sure you're aligned and it doesn't go against your values. Okay. And then even if negative feelings come up again, you tell yourself, you remember your why, your why that comes from your heart and not from your head. Run the worst-case scenarios in your mind. Feel those feelings right now and how it could feel not having achieved this again, again this year. But then I want you to feel the feelings of how incredible it will feel when you do achieve it. Right. I want you to decide from a place of possibility instead of probability, because probability will keep us stuck and keep us in that same place that where we were last year, the year before. Because again, I reiterate that our brains want to make decisions based on what is and what was and not what can be. Possibility. That's what I want you to make your decisions from. Possibility. Setting huge goals. So that's it. I would love to hear what you came up with. I would love to see some examples of your digital vision boards, and I want you guys to have an amazing year. So share those things with me, you know, shoot them up, you know, send them to my email, traviestewart@gmail.com— and traviestewardcoach@gmail.com. And, you know, tag me if you post it on Instagram or something. But how can we make 2021 our most amazing year yet? I'd love to hear what's happening for you. Thank you so much. If you like what you're hearing, and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to Travia Steward com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.
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