Empowered and Unapologetic with Rosalyn Grate

My peeps, have you ever wondered if you could turn your deepest insecurities into your greatest strength? What if the key to unshakeable confidence is actually hidden in the very parts of yourself that you've been trying to hide? Welcome to Lead with Confidence Now, the podcast dedicated to helping you grow your confidence and live your best life. I'm Travia Steward, and for the past 27 years, I've been on a mission to transform lives. My goal is to help you improve your self-image so you can perform better in every area of your life. In today's episode, we are going to explore how embracing more of your authentic self leads to greater confidence, even when others don't approve of your life. And you might be surprised to know that you already have everything that you need to boost that level of confidence. It's just a matter of tapping into Your True Self. Today we have a very special guest, my close friend Rosalyn Grape, who will share her incredible journey of transformation from feeling like the girl who was on the outside to becoming a confident, empowered woman. Her story will inspire you to embrace your true self and discover your own confidence within. Let's get into it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor Today to have one of my closest friends here on the Lead with Confidence Now podcast. My peeps, it's Podcast Thursday and here is my good friend Rosalynn Grape. And you know what, Roz, it's such a pleasure to be sitting down. You know, peeps, Roz and I have conversations like this all the time. We're just gonna let you be a fly on the wall today. For some of these very personal conversations that we have, especially as we go through similar journeys. So Roz, before we dive into it, would you please introduce yourself to my peeps?

Absolutely. I'm glad to hear that I'm one of your best peeps.

Yes, you are.

Hey, like you said, I'm Rosalyn Graves. I am a licensed esthetician here in Arizona. Born and raised. It's been a long journey. Didn't start out kind of up there in 8 years, but going back a little bit with my childhood, I was pretty much raised by my grandparents, my grandmother. And I remember for me being in the 6th grade and weighing 215 pounds. I was always the fat girl. Everywhere I went, everyone, I hope everyone says, "Oh my God, you have a beautiful face." And that was it. Never. And first thing that ever, ever came to my mind is, oh, I have a beautiful face, but a fucked up body. That's what that always made me feel. And even in the 6th grade, because I was always the tallest and the heaviest girl, I always stood out, and the Black girl at that. And so when I used to weigh in in gym class every year, because that's what they used to do, I would always be the heaviest and I would be bullied and teased and you know, all of that. And so that started my journey to more of just being different and wanting to find a way to make me happy. And so that happened with me, uh, with clothes, clothing, makeup, hair, things like that. So that's where the journey that I could remember started, way back, way back then.

So would you say— thank you so much for sharing that, you know, because Honestly, and we talk all the time, and I didn't know that about you, you know, to one. So, so when we're talking about who you were, you know, you felt like you were always the big girl, that, you know, the tallest, but you pretty and all those things. What was your level of confidence like at that point?

I didn't— I had none because I was not like no one else. Like I said, I was pretty much the only Black kid in a, in a classroom of full of all white kids. So not only in my mind I was the heaviest, but I wasn't like them and I never fit in. I wasn't the kid that always got invited to parties or if I had a birthday, oh well, my birthday is Halloween, so I always tried to have a Halloween party. Well, I'm doing it, but no one came because I just wasn't popular and I just wasn't liked. And so And that was the hinder of my journey, you know, of me trying to figure out things that I liked because I wasn't like everyone else. And I knew that, that I had to figure out what made me happy.

Absolutely. What was that defining moment for you when you were like, "Shit, I like what I look like in the mirror. Oh my God." Because Roz, I must say, There is a different, like confidence oozes out of your pores now. Like there are sometimes when I go, look at Rod, Rod's got a whole belly out today.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

And now, and I go, shit, I ain't put my belly out, you know? But you exude such a high level of confidence now. Can you take us back to that moment of when you're like, oh shit, I'm not that little girl anymore. I now am a confident woman who loves herself today.

For me, I think it started back in 2007. I went on a weight loss journey and I lost a lot of weight. So I went from 350 pounds at that time to down to 180 pounds. And so I started, I believe then is when I started loving myself. I can't tell you up until that I really loved myself. People always People say, oh, you know, oh, I love myself. Of course I love myself, but I wasn't in love with me. And so I— and that was something that I never felt. I never felt beautiful. I never felt sexy. So when I started going on that journey of life for me, and I started losing weight and getting in the gym and working out, and I said, why not me? You know, and I know this because As I start getting older, I'll be 50. But, you know, it's like some things I say, some things I say is, should I wear this? You know, am I too old to wear this? And then I think back and I say, why is that even a question? We don't ask the 25-year-olds or the 30-year-olds, you know, we don't say you're too old to wear that. So I think that's in our own mind. No one has ever said you're too old to wear that. And if they did, do I really care? Probably not. No.

I love that. I love that. You know? Yeah. And that's so true. So, you know, there are a lot of people who are like, you don't have to be thin to be confident. You don't have to be thin to love yourself. Right? Because I don't want people to, you know, assume that it was because you lost the weight that you were confident. How did— so without, like, even if we said in 2007, it wasn't about the weight, what was that trigger for you that went, I love myself regardless? I love who I am today.

I think just starting to become— well, I was comfortable. I was— I felt like then that's who I was always going to be. I never thought about losing weight. I never thought about until I actually hit that journey. So when I— for me to sit back and say, you know, because I had kids really young, I have 4 kids. And so I had my youngest— my, excuse me, my oldest daughter in high school. So she attended my high school graduation. So all the focus— and within 4 years, I had 4 kids under the age of 4. So for me, loving my body was not loving anything because I was always pregnant every year. So once I started taking the time and focused on me, then I realized, and sometimes just getting attention from other people would get my— oh, well, maybe I am cute or maybe I am sexy, but I have never been the girl to sit here and just be like, oh, I know I'm fine. That's not me. And that will never be me because I believe all women are beautiful.

That's so good. You know, Roz, you know, when I asked you about being on the podcast, because honestly, from the moment I first met you, I felt like you were someone who walked in the room and who was confident. You know, honestly, like, I remember some of the things that I went through, like, several years ago, because we've known each other for a while. But I remember our mutual friend who was like, I'm not gonna cut my hair right now because, people gonna say I look like, you know, a guy, ah. And there were sometimes some things in my mind that I was like, well, I've always had short hair. And sometimes I get, you know, excuse me, sir, but you know what, Roz? Like, I think when I met you, you had like a, you know, old school, my mom called it an ivory leaf, you know? You had an ivory leaf haircut, but it was so nice. It had parts in it and all the things. And I was like, Damn, Roz wearing that shit. And you were. What kind of confidence did it take to wear like the very, very short hair? You would fem it up. I mean, do all these things, but that's authentic confidence right there if I've ever seen it.

And you know what, as you say that, 'cause I've been wearing braids for the longest, but I remember I cut my hair I was watching a singer on TV and she cut her hair short, short, short, short. And I said, "I'm cutting my hair like that." And everyone looked at me and only person, you know, who said, only one person told me, "Oh, do it. It'd be great." My mother, my kids, everyone said, "Why would you ever do that?" Why would you ever do that? Like, women are supposed to have long, beautiful hair and this. And I go back to that same question. Why? Why do women have to have long hair? Women that have short hair is not beautiful? Like, I didn't understand that. And so I have always stayed in my lane when it came from fashion, hair. I've just always, if I like it, I'll wear it. Yeah, you know, and I've learned even with the heavier body when I had it and the smaller body now, I've learned to dress myself because just because you like something, that doesn't mean you can wear it.

Okay.

Now I've had so many people since I've cut my hair, to friends, to family who now rock that same hairstyle that they told me 14 years ago to never do, you know? And so I just like, and I, they look just as beautiful as anyone else that would have long hair down their back. So I always tell people, I wear, I was wearing short hair before short hair was popular.

Yeah.

They had the weaves and the braids and, you know, the weave down their back. Also, when I was a young girl, and my hair was so long it went past my bottom. And my grandmother used to take me, take my sister and I to the beauty shop once a month. And I had so much hair on my head. I had 4 beauticians here, here, here, here. It was— wow, too much all the time. So when I was probably in the 5th grade, I lied to my grandmother and told my grandmother that my mom said it was okay for me to cut my hair off. And she, when she took me to the hair shop, they cut my hair here. Yeah. But it just shows all the way back then, I still was in my own lane and I wanted to do what I, I didn't like long hair until this day. You know, like I say, I wear braids, but most of the time my braids are up. Out of my face. It's just easy to just, you know, busy life. But I've never, ever, ever liked long hair.

I've gotcha. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. You know, in being in your own lane, that's so incredible because I don't feel like it's your only— I feel like it's a path that you're paving for all of us, right? Because even, you know, my partner Shelly is like, Should I cut this off and make it raw and rock it raw style? And I'm like, absolutely. You know, she's like, should I cut the neck out and cut the arms off? And I go, and then I was like, then you gotta bling it up.

Yeah.

And so that's a raw style. You know what I'm talking about? So Roz, I wanna go to the place of you're working in corporate America, right? Mm-hmm. What was that moment of decision for you with going back to school. Talk us through the courage that it took to take that step.

Okay, so I have to go back because remember I attended school twice. So I wanna go back kind of a little bit when I got, like I said before, when I had my daughter in my senior year of high school, I didn't go straight to college. And my, like I said, my grandmother, I love her to death. I promised her, said, "Granny, I promise you I will go back and get my college degree by the time I'm 40." When I turned 40, I walked across GCU with my bachelor's degree. So I always kept that promise for her. And in my mind, I said, "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it." But even after I graduated back, and that was in 2016, and even as I graduated, and was still in corporate America, it was never me. I felt it was just never me. I did it to raise my kids. I did it to send the kids through college and all the things that we're supposed to do as parents, but I never enjoyed it. And so once all the kids pretty much moved out the house, college was done and paid for, I started evaluating my life. Now, I never thought I would become really an aesthetician because like you said, my journey was always fashion. Like, I have been personal people that called me so I could come in, get them dressed, you know, find them outfits. I have a lot of women that I get compliments, you know, and they're like, yeah, do this for a living. And I say, well, no, but I can't. You know, and so I actually, I've had people call me on the phone in the dressing rooms. I've had family members also, hey, does this match? How does this look? And I'm sitting there telling them, it doesn't.

Start over.

Right, so I say that a lot. You know, and so because people think because I dress so nice, that I can dress other people. And that used to be a hindrance for me. And my partner all the time would say, "Why don't you do it for other people?" And I'm just like, "Because I know what I like, and I know when I see someone else's body, they're not gonna look like me." Yeah. Because we have two different bodies. So they were like, "Well, don't dress them like you." And I said, "Well, that's what they like." And she said, well, they like to look nice. So then that got me on my journey to be able to say when they, you know, called me or walked up to me and asked, where did she get that? You know, yadda yadda yadda, for me to help other women to become their best.

Yeah.

Because I remember the first 15 years of my life as a big person, only thing I could go to the store and buy is flowered shirts. That's all they had for plus-size women. It was flower shirts.

Flower shirts. Like, oh, yeah.

Like, and so I wanted to change that.

That's right.

So, so, so by that, that journey of me always knowing what I loved and people always commenting like, oh my God, I love that or whatnot, then that just kind of set me on my own journey.

Yeah.

And so, and then once I decided to get out of corporate America, I was laid off from my job in 2018 after being there for almost 10 years. And so, so that was a big change. And at that point, I still didn't think I would be coming into the beauty. And I got a couple of jobs here and there. I just didn't really like it. And then it just dawned on me, like, there's so many different parts of beauty, just so many, you know, and that if I could just take one part and figure out what I loved about that part, I can make a business. And that's exactly what I've done. Wow.

So, you know, our significant others, they are significant others for a reason, right? What role did she play in? Because I know it's easy, it's like, you know, Roz is confident, you know, Roz has the courage to do the things. What role did she play in going, "Hey, babe, you got this," you know, that kind of thing that helped you, you know, get some wind under your wings?

She's my right hand. Like when I have self-doubt, like what am I doing? She's there to say, I got you, you got this, you know this. And even when I decided to go back to school, my partner was semi-retired and ready to be done with working. And for me, she went back into the corporate field full-time just for me to go to school and start my own business. And for someone to do that, that means more to me than anything. And so at all costs, she's there. She's there when I'm not even confident in me. She always is. And she never has told me, you can't do it. And she believed in me from day one. And for that, I'll always be grateful.

So good. So good. You know, we all have these people in our lives, right? And without those people, because I can walk out and be confident in so many different ways. And it was a post that I posted on social media just yesterday that one of the hardest thing I've had to overcome was who I am at my core is not acceptable. And so, because I've always dealt with my sexuality, I don't feel like Roz from looking outward has ever dealt with that. Where did that confidence come from? Especially in the Black community where they'd be like, like, you know, you going to hell, you doing this, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know that ain't right. You know we can't do this. You know, don't stop living like that. Where did that confidence come from to be that authentic version of yourself?

It didn't come as early as probably I would like. You know, like I said, I go back, I was raised by my grandmother. It was a conversation that was known but not talked about.

Yes.

And so, My mother, not so much. She knew, but it wasn't really talked about. But for me, I think it where it really hit me and I knew I was going to be who God said I was going to be is when 2009, when I lost— I had my younger brother, Paul. He was gay, but he committed suicide because he never felt accepted. And so, I would see him out at the club. He knew where we were, but for him, he would just never accept it. And so in 2009, when he passed away, from that day forward, I said, "I will never deny who I am to anybody. If you don't like me as who I am, then that's fine. We're probably not going to be friends anyway." And so at that time, after he passed away, I just made a promise to myself that I would never ever ever tell somebody, allow someone to tell me that I can't be who I am.

Yeah.

I'm just not going to do it.

So good. Have you always had an open relationship and conversation with your mother about your sexuality?

No. No. Like I said, she knew it with my early relationship. She knew it but didn't really know it. But when I met my partner now, she had a hard time. She had a really, really hard time with it. And when I brought my partner around, I would just, I wanted my family to get to know her for Ross's friend, not Ross's girlfriend. Yeah. And so once I, when I just pretty much said she's not going anywhere, you know, and you guys are going to have to get on board. They did. By the time my mother passed away, she loved, she loved my partner. She like called her on the phone or, you know, just small conversations. And one of the best moments, 'cause my mother was a good mother, but one of the best moments I had with her is when she took the time out and talked to Charlene and just apologized for being mean. And just saying that, you know, just for being just, you know, not welcoming. And that she was so glad that she listened to me and glad that she was able to give her a chance. And like I said, it became where it just wasn't a problem anymore. And if it is now, I don't know, I don't care. Not with my mom, but other family members, because the way I feel, I'm saying she's coming, 'cause if she's not welcome, then I'm not welcome.

There you go.

So, you know, and so, and as long as I say that, even I have a family wedding coming up in a couple weeks, and some of those people might be there, but I made it clear, if she's not welcome, then I'm not coming, so.

Right. So who is the Roz that's gonna show up at that wedding? Is it gonna be like waiting for the shoe drop Roz? Is it gonna be confident Roz with, you know, your partner on, like on your arm? Who is that Roz going to be and what are you going to use to make sure you step in as that Roz?

It's gonna be the confident Roz. It's gonna be who Roz, and I'm gonna walk in, you know, she's gonna walk in with me as I walk through that door and family or friends she's never met, I'm gonna introduce her and I don't say this is my friend. I introduce her as my wife, as what she is and that's it. And that won't change. You know, and at any time, if she feels a certain kind of way, then I'm going to politely get up and leave. Because like I said, what type of wife would I be, or what kind of friend would I ever be to allow somebody that I love to be disrespected just because of the person she is or that I am? Yeah, absolutely not. And I won't go for it.

That's so good. I'm so inspired by everything that you're sharing here today, Roz. Because that's one of the conversations I wish I would've had with my mother before she took her last breath in 2017. And it was because I was afraid of what she would say. I was afraid of, I already knew what I thought, you know, she thought because it was never a subject that we addressed. And then, you know, now I feel like we're closer than ever 'cause we talk and she sees everything, right?

Right. Yeah.

And so just being, you know, having that relationship there, I used to regret that, not having done that. And then, you know, I made it right. I made it, you know, how can I make this work for me? And so as we talk about who we are and how we walk through the world, what are some ways that you are able to be an example of authenticity and confidence in the workplace? You know, because some people, and what I'm specifically referring to is some people will be like, my life on Saturday is my life on Saturday. Monday morning, I'm Boss Brad, you know, I'm Boss Betty, you know, and they ain't got to know that I wore 7-inch heels or that I wore a tux, whatever. How do you bring your full authentic self in a professional setting?

Well, for me, no matter where I'm at, professional or personal, I'm the same. Yeah. And I'm like, you're going to like me or you're not going to like me. And I think that's the difference with me and other people, because like you say, sometimes you get the boss corporate person and then the friend, and it's not the same. Yeah. But if you are the same person all the time, you never have to be different. And then they're gonna fall in love with the person that you are. That's so good. I mean, you just don't have to be someone else, you know? And even, even now, because I am in this field and sometimes, you know, I have to see, you know, women, and I used to have a problem with Like, you think I should tell women that I'm married to a woman and yada, yada, yada. And I felt I was being dishonest because in one way I was saying, this is who I am and I would never change that for somebody else. But why do I feel like I have to change because I'm in this profession now? Because regardless, the first thing is for me to be respectable and mindful for whoever that I'm, you know, whoever my clients are, you know, it's a boundary. So I had to find the fine line. Sometimes I don't lie, but sometimes if it doesn't come up, it doesn't come up. However, I do have plenty of clients who have come up and they'll ask me, Oh, you know, ask me if I have a husband and I'll say, nope, I have a wife. And they're like, oh, you do? And I'm like, yeah. And it becomes a conversation.

Yeah.

But in that conversation, it's never, they've never made me feel a certain kind of way. And it's still the same respect that I gave them before they walked through the door, when they walked through the door, and when they leave. Is the same that I expect for them. I have never ever lost a client because I date women.

Yeah.

Most of them tell me they don't even know.

There you go.

Yeah. But it's not something I walk around with a badge of honor on either and says, guess what? All I date is women. It's not something, you know, like, yeah, you know, I mean, I don't do that either. So I think, so for me, is because I try to be my authentic self at all times.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter where I'm at. Now, I might be a little in the professional side, I may be a little quieter. But as far as personality, it's going to be the same.

Gotcha. Thank you so much. So, you know, you and I have had a conversation about this next thing that we're going to ask you, and you share what you want to share and don't share what you don't want to share.

Okay.

I know that it takes a certain level of confidence to be an entrepreneur, and especially when things aren't looking up with your bank account, right?

Right.

What role did confidence and just going, I know I'm meant for something else, I know I'm meant to do this, what kept you on the path? And share what you will with that journey, of how you came and walked through that?

Oh, it was rough. I mean, because you think, most people think is when they open their own business, people are going to be standing out the door with the line wrapped around the building trying to get in. And that's not it at all. Especially as being an older person who is just opening up a business for the first time. It's really difficult. Still difficult on a daily basis. There's many days I've cried in this room, you know, before clients, after clients, in between clients sometimes. Like, it's been, I've had some rough days, you know. But I constantly go back and hear God saying, "This is for you. I promised you this." I got you. And so I don't believe he brought me here just to leave me. Like all the paths that I've been through in life, all the roads that I've been through in life, he's never failed me. He's never failed me. And so that's why I'll tell anybody, I've been in counseling, I talk, you know, because a lot of times you can't, Talk to your partner, you know, because your partner always wants to fix it.

Oh yeah.

You know, like, you know, and sometimes you just need a good cry, you know? And like I said, when you came, you know, and we talked about it, and I knew you had been in your business for a long time because I remember we talked about business back in base years ago.

Yeah.

You know, and, and, Because my partner always wants to be the fixer for me, I've learned how to just say, I just need you to listen. I don't need you to fix it. I don't need you to listen. And so, and because of that, in doing that, it allows her to still encourage me, but it also allows me to feel what I feel and just be and say, Nothing about this journey has ever, no one has ever said it was going to be easy. No one ever told me the journey was going to be easy, but I'm here to fight and I fight every day. Every day I wake up, I fight to get one more client, you know, to get one more opportunity to be better and to do better the day before. And as long as that's my goal, I'm good.

So good. Good. Yeah. I learned that lesson with my partner, you know, and every now and then, you know, and I preface it with, I just want you to listen. I just wanna be heard right now. Absolutely. Because she also wants to fix it. But I believe that we have to have entrepreneurial friends that we don't take this home with us. We go to our entrepreneurial friends and say, hey, how you working through this? You know, oh my goodness. Oh, that's so good. You know, which is why I'm like, you know, Roz and I just have a different conversation. That doesn't mean our partners can't be a part of the conversation. It's just, it's a different conversation that only you and I understand in that situation. And so I love it because I never want to burden my partner because all she's going to do is worry about me. And all she's going to do is go, okay, how can I fix it? How can I do this kind of thing? And it does take a certain level of fortitude, of grit, to keep doing this, to get up every single day and go, this is what I know. Because I don't believe that God would give us these dreams, like you said, if they weren't for us.

Right.

Right? Right. And so when you think about what's possible for you now, like you said, you're going to be 50 soon. I'm thinking you are at the midpoint of your life. What do you think is possible for you that maybe little Roz never even dreamt of because of whatever reason? But what do you think is now possible for you because of your confidence, because of what you've been through?

I think, I think anything. I mean, I think anything, you know, anything that I want to do, I believe I can do it. For me, I don't like to look at the bigger picture. Because it actually overwhelms me. So I try to take this, doesn't mean I don't think big or dream big, but for me, that little picture allows me to say, I can work on this today.

Yeah.

So, and when I have too many things going on, it just gives me anxiety and it just, I shut down and I don't get anything done. So anything that I wanna do, you know, with my business, with, you know, more bringing different things into my business as far as procedures or whatever things that I want to do, add on to the business. I think that would be great. Is it wrong? I sit and I think because the younger people, girls that I talk to, they always, you know, they want this big dream of opening 20 salons and, you know, I don't want that.

Right.

You know, and I think it's okay for me to say I'm okay for what I'm okay owning a small business. I'm okay. I don't want a big salon. If God sees fit for that, but that's not my dream. And so that's one thing I can say. That's not where I want to go in my dream. I want to be able to just have a good life.

Yeah.

For the rest of my life. And I don't want to be, because I've been in corporate for so long and I've never had my own schedule and can't do what I want to do. Why go open up 20 salons? I never have time. It's true. That's just not me.

Yeah, you got to run all 20.

I've had to learn how to cut my phone off now, you know, because—

Absolutely.

—clients texting and I'm just learning how to establish those boundaries, even with clients when I'm on my personal time with family and friends. Yeah. I don't have to respond, but being a new person, you know, a new business owner, you feel like you have to be at everyone's beck and call. You're available. And I have learned, I'm learning how to establish those boundaries.

Yes. So good. You know? So good. So as we begin to wrap this up, and you sort of hinted to it, but I want you, like, for people listening right now, what would you say are some of your daily practices that you go in the morning? Like, do you have a routine where you go, you know, and the reason why I'm asking is because I have a routine of creating myself. I get up, I visualize what I think the day is going to be. I decide in advance how I'm going to walk through the day. Possibly, 'cause we pretty much know how our days are gonna go. And every now and then something might surprise us, but we know the people we're gonna see, we know who we're gonna rub on, all those things, who I'm gonna coach. And I have a, you know, I can predict what is going to happen. And so I go, I listen to some music, I get up, I pray, I meditate, I work on my energy, I figure out how am I feeling, what are the thoughts I'm thinking, and then I create. Boom, put that stuff away. This is who I declare myself to be. I, Travia Steward, am proud, powerful, and fully expressed in all areas of my life. And then I go through the rest of my declarations. And that's how I show up during a day. And when I forget, I go, okay, girl, you need to go create yourself again. So that was extensive, I know, but I love it. Right. What would be your daily practices for showing up as the Roz that you intentionally wanna be?

Uh, for me, when I get up in the morning, coffee first, all the time.

Coffee. Yes, yes, yes.

But the first thing I do when I open my eyes is say thank you. You know, just thank you. So that's the very first thing that I do every morning. And then I just start my day. I actually try to go listen to some music. I have some prayer. I look at my schedule, see if it's change from the day before and just kind of see where I'm at. Because I'm working at a couple different locations, it's just, it could be different, but I just try to always remind myself who I am and what I want to be or what I'm doing in life. And so as long as I can sit here and say, I got this, then I'm okay. However, there are some of those days I wake up and I'm off. And I know I'm off. I'm off, like I'm dropping everything. I can't even hold a pen. I can't even. And I have to sit and just ground myself. Close my eyes, just say a word of prayer and take a deep breath and keep going. And that will normally bring me back to the center to say, just to keep on walking. And because I know something, I could just be like, I'm off today. I'm off today. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm off today. And when I have those days, I have to just stop because the day doesn't get better for me unless I just stop, recognize it, try to center myself again, and continue.

Perfect. Thank you so much for sharing that because I feel like the more, more of us are intentional with how we want to show up, our experiences of one another, will just be better. Because some people are like, well, he stole my joy. Well, she pissed me off. All that stuff. Well, we're all in control of how we feel. Right. Right? And so some people are like, you know, we easily allow ourselves to play the victim instead of going, how can I be intentional with how I'm going to show up despite what is happening? Now, I'm not saying, you know, curveballs aren't thrown our way, but it's how we react to it. Right. Right? So as we wrap up, my peeps, I want to share with you Roz, what Roz does now. And I tell you, my birthday was on February 27th and Roz had been saying, hey, when you coming for, when you coming into the shop, when you come and get a facial? And so truth be told, I thought I was just getting a facial. And so I'm like, I'm not really into facial, people putting a whole bunch of stuff on my face and, but okay. But, and so I was like, I'm gonna go, we're gonna go. So for my birthday, Roz gave me a gift certificate. So then You gotta go. Isn't that right? Right? So I showed up to Roz's shop and I was just expecting, I think I had a cap on because she was just gonna do a facial. And then she texted and she said, wear some basketball shorts, you know, loose shorts. And I was like, okay, I don't know why, but I'm just gonna do my face. My peeps, when I got in there, Roz did from the rooter to the tutor, like from my feet feet, my ears, my scalp, every part of me. And just, I felt so relaxed. It was a facial, it was a massage, it was all the things that I needed that day. And I think I might have been drooling or something. And when I got up off of the table, I needed a few minutes before I could stand up because I felt like I was just like jelly. But it was all the things from head to toe of I went in there a little bit stressed, a little bit anxious, and Roz just resolved every bit of that in my time with her. And so Roz, how can other people get this experience? Roz is local here in Arizona. She's on Alma School, but tell us, tell my peeps how they can get some of this business coming and get get your hands on them so that they can feel half of what I felt that day.

Absolutely. Yes. My business is Dazzle Skin and Beauty by Roz. I am in Mesa, Amoskool. You can Google me. You can find me on Instagram at dazzleskinandbeauty_, I think. Is it?

I don't know. But yeah. Yes. Instagram. Yep. Dazzle. Yep. Dazzle. Yep. You know better than me. Yeah. Only because I did my homework. But yeah, so, Roz, this has been so good. Is there any last thing that you wish I would have asked you that I didn't ask you? And is there any last thing you want people listening to this episode, people that we both know, people that we're close to, people that we don't know, what is a message that you would leave them?

I think you probably hit everything, but I would like to say, you know, talked about family, likes, dislikes, trauma. You know, I've had a lot of trauma. Not only do I have one brother commit suicide, I've had two. So I say all that to say is that you can still move, you can still smile, you can still be happy. It's just, you just gotta learn how to move through life and still accept everything that God has in store for you. And so I just wanna say that if I can still smile, you can too. Boom, mic drop, baby.

That's what I'm talking about. Roz, thank you so much. This has been so good today. So good. And I mean, didn't it feel like you and I were just in a room by ourselves?

It did. I agree that it did. Yeah. Absolutely. Appreciate you.

Yeah, and I appreciate you doing this, y'all. And I must, you guys, send Roz some love because truth be told, she was a little nervous about it. This is her first podcast episode. This was her first podcast interview. And you know what? Those of you who are listening who are other podcasters, get Roz on your show. You know, she has so much to share with, I'm telling you, I'm so inspired by how you walk through the world, who you be in the world. I love how you show up and you inspire me every day, Roz. So thank you so much. Absolutely. All right, my peeps. So if you want one-to-one coaching so that I can personally help you boost your confidence, click the link, click the connect link in the show notes. All right, my peeps, I look forward to meeting you, and we'll talk next week.