Ep 46: Building authentic connections instead of networking with Jake Kelfer

You are listening to episode number 46, Reinventing and Elevating Your Network with Jake Kelfer.

If you're someone who wants to make major changes in their life, someone who wants to achieve their goals, or maybe you're someone who knows this is not as good as it gets, but you have no idea where to start, on the Reinvent You Podcast, we explore different types of people. Their successes and failures, and how they reinvented themselves to create the life they love. It's our hope that from hearing their stories, that you too may have more insight into what it takes to build a life that you envision for yourself. Here to help you do that is performance and life coach Travia Steward.

So I just finished my, my conversation on the podcast with, with Jake. And Jake is such an infectious guy who genuinely cares for other people. The things that really, really resonated with me was Jake talks about his drive, when it was developed, how it was developed, and how he continues to cultivate that. And a lot of times we go into comparison mode and go, Why didn't I have that kind of drive? Why wasn't I able to, or, or, you know, I don't think it was a can't or wasn't able to. I think it's just that I didn't know, like I chose to do other things, you know? And so what I love about Jake's energy, Jake fills the air with such a sense of possibility, you know, pure, potentiality and anyone that he's talking to, I feel like, I mean, I'm not a fly on the wall when he's talking to other people. I just know how Jake makes me feel when, when we converse. And like I said on the podcast, he makes you feel like he doesn't have any other place to be. He's not busy with receiving texts or anything like that. He makes you feel like you are the most important person, at least for those out for that hour or maybe 2 hours. And so I love that Jake shared so many valuable things, tools, and tips, you know, especially, you know, talking to my ambitious professionals, you know, my, my 9-to-5ers who, who, who really want to thrive. Some very good tips that you can take out of this with your morning routine, you know, how to maybe create a foundation of consistency with your journaling, you know, those types of things, but how to start your day off. So that you are setting yourself up for such a level of success. You know, I've learned so much from Jake about networking, about, you know, showing up, about, you know, I've always been a person who thrives on love and connection. And because I do believe that we are all here to connect with other people, like we were not put on this earth to be in a house by ourselves, a room by ourselves, that kind of thing. Like, not for always. It's okay to live by yourself. But the purpose is, and we are better when we connect with other people. And so I just love his emphasis on the way that he networks. And I think you're going to learn a lot and get a lot from this podcast that can apply to any area of your life. We want to build stronger relationships at work with our significant others. You know, if we want to just really genuinely put ourselves out there and have more friends, whatever that looks like for you. I believe that there is a lot of information in this episode of the podcast that will give you some insight, give you some tools. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did sitting down, having my conversation with Jake. So let's dive into it. Here we go. Who is Jake Kelfer? Jake Kelfer is a lifestyle entrepreneur. He's a life elevator and coach to ambitious entrepreneurs like myself and freedom seekers, helping people create incredibly impactful and profitable businesses. He is the bestselling author of Elevate Beyond and Elevate Your Network, a high-energy motivational speaker, and the founder of the Professional Basketball Combine, which has helped over 70 NBA draft prospects prospects turn their dreams of playing pro basketball into their reality. He and his work have been featured on Forbes, Sports Illustrated, ESPN, and many other major media outlets. You are excited— I'm excited to connect you guys with Jake on social media at Jake Kelford. My man Jake Kelford, the guy who has the most energy I've ever seen in one person at any given time. Jake Kelfer, welcome to the Reinvent You Podcast.

Oh, Travia, thanks so much. I'm pumped to be here. I'm gonna share that energy with you, with your audience. Let's get it going.

I love it.

I love it.

I woke up this morning, I was feeling about an 8, but just because now I'm on the podcast with Jake, I'm a 10 because you can't help but— it just, it's infectious, your energy. I love that about you, Jake. Absolutely.

Thank you. I appreciate that. I've put a lot of work into making sure that I have energy for the people that need it and deserve it. And I'm a big basketball guy. I mean, you know this, and we'll probably talk about all these cool stories and everything. But here's something that I'll start us off with is I compare a lot of things in life and business to sports. All right? And one of those things is when I think of Kobe Bryant, when I think of Michael Jordan, I think of some of the greatest basketball players ever played the game. They would always talk about how it didn't matter how many people were in the crowd, it didn't matter where in the world that they were playing, they showed up and played every single game because they knew people had paid hard-earned money to see them, right? That's the same thing that we do and that I do as, as an entrepreneur, as a coach, as someone that says, you know what, I'm coming on to this podcast and sure, it's just me and you right now, but who knows how many people or who's listening or what's going on, but I need to show up for them and I need to give them my best to make sure that we create greatness together.

Absolutely. You know, I 100% believe that about you, Jake, because I've seen it. I've been on the other end of that because, you know, truth be told, I worked with you. You were my business coach. And so when you would show up for the calls, I would be, I would feel like I was the absolute most important person in your world for that 2 hours.

So, and you were, you were, yeah. You know, and look, think about this too. When we talk about like reinventing ourselves, right? When we talk about going through something and wanting to come out on the other side, a lot of that has to do with how we frame ourselves, how we frame that situation, how we make other people feel. And the way we can inspire others is through that energy transfer to another person.

That is so cool, Jake, man. I'm so excited. I'm so pumped. I can't help but be a 10, you know, Jake, let's go ahead and dive right in. Tell us a little bit about what is your origin story? I know you have a great story. How did you come to being the Jake who is sitting sitting with me right now. Absolutely.

I'll take you all the way back, Travia. How far back do you want me to go? Do you want me to go to the young, young Jake, or do you want me to take you back like 5, 10 years and give you the quick, quick version?

Give me the quick version, but with pivotal moments. Okay.

Okay. All right. I wanted to play for the Los Angeles Lakers as a kid. That was the dream. All right. Now, being a 5'8 Jewish kid from the suburbs, that dream was going to be a little bit harder to achieve than if I was a 6'7 wing guy or whatever it was. Right, right, right. So, I quickly realized that by the time I got ready for college, the league wasn't an option. The NBA wasn't a real option. And so, I said, you know what? Well, I've spent a lot of time working on my academics. And I owe that to my parents because they inspired me to achieve everything I ever wanted, but they also made sure that I spent time on being a good student and enjoying the game of life, enjoying learning and growing. And so, I had the chance. I said, you know what? If I can't play in the NBA, I'm going to work for, I'm going to work for NBA athletes. I'm going to be an agent and I'm going to represent NBA athletes. So I go to the University of Southern California. I'm studying to be a sports agent. Like that's what I wanted to do. I was getting a business degree, sports minor. I was like, let's do this thing. Right before I get ready to graduate, the agency that I was going to work for, they actually call me and they say, Jake, unfortunately, we can't hire you. We're going on a hiring freeze. We're not able to bring you on the team when you graduate. I was devastated. All right, this was the company I'd given like a year of my college to. I was super excited to work with them. I believed in them so much and they really believed in me. They had given me a lot of great opportunities and it was my favorite agency that I had worked for through internships or that I had come in touch with up to that point. Now here I am a couple months before graduation and I got, I'm gonna have student loans. Like this is USC, it's expensive.

It is.

So now I'm like, Now I'm like, what the heck am I about to do? Well, as life would have it, I end up getting connected and working my magic and kind of putting the dots together. And I get an offer to work for the Lakers. So I actually start my professional career working for the team that I originally had a dream of playing for.

Boom.

And that was one of those first full circle moments of the journey may not always go the way you expect it. But it'll always end up on the path that you're supposed to. And so that was the beginning part of my career. I had some crazy experiences there. It was Kobe's final season. I got to meet Jerry West, the NBA logo. And while I was with the team, I ended up writing my first book. From there, that led me to start speaking. From speaking, I started to realize how much power our words had and our actions had with other people. That led me to wanting to get back into the game of basketball where I created an event called the Pro Basketball Combine where we've now helped over 70 guys sign their first pro contract.

Right.

One thing led to the next, and everything that I'm doing is just how do I get better every single day? How do I keep inspiring people? How do I keep bringing people up with me along this way? And now I'm a business coach helping entrepreneurs and coaches really take their dreams and turn it into reality through the form of business. And that's kind of the origin story that's got us here, uh, today.

Absolutely. Jake, where did you get that drive from? I mean, it seems like you popped out of the womb and you're like, I'm, I'm, I'm doing it, you know, Most people have to manufacture that. How did you get it?

So I, I think I, I naturally have a strong drive. Um, I think part of that, I mean, definitely plays a factor into it, but I also think that I am so driven and, and aware of what brings me joy. Here's what I mean by that is I can— I get so excited when somebody says, Jake, I just signed a new client, or Jake, I just booked this guest on my podcast, or Jake, you may not realize this, but you spoke at my school 3 years ago and now I just got into the college of my dreams because of something you said to me then. Those moments are the greatest feeling in the world. And because of that, I know that the actions like sending emails every single week, doing things that maybe aren't as fun, are always worth it because I know what my purpose is here on this planet. And so when it comes to drive, I think, yes, I've had it. I have this energy and I want to bring the heat all the time. But I also know that the drive comes from what the true result is, which is not the bling, the cars, all that stuff. That doesn't mean anything. What really is the drive that comes from is knowing that people's lives are being changed, right? And because of that, we're creating a ripple effect that's going to go generations and generations and generations longer.

Absolutely.

And that's like the power of like the energy of who you surround yourself with, right? Just by being talking, right? You say how hyped you are. That's my drive because you get that feeling.

Yeah.

And I know how good it feels to be around somebody that brings the best out of you.

Absolutely.

That's what we can do every single interaction we have with every single person.

Yeah.

It's just up to us to choose that path.

I love that. Okay. Now I understand that outcome. When I hear you say those things that comes from a place of Jake is seeing success. His clients are getting transformation. And what about if you're a step before that, where your clients aren't getting results, you're having a hard time. Let's say our coaches listening to us, an entrepreneur is like, I'm not feeling any of that right now. How do you help them cultivate that drive to keep going?

We got to celebrate the small wins.

All right.

We got to appreciate the ride in the pursuit of greatness. All right. And most often, most often, and this is with anything you could call coach, entrepreneur, a weight loss journey, a bad breakup, whatever's causing you to feel down about yourself, right? You have that voice that's talking to you way too much and it's telling you all the wrong things.

Yeah.

I know you do a lot of great work helping people get out of that comfort zone, right? Helping people break through those barriers, right? And so, what's really key here though is we got to celebrate along the way. Too often, we think it's black and white in terms of our success, in terms of our achievements. But in reality, there is so much to be grateful for and so much to celebrate. We just have to open our eyes and give ourselves permission to see that as a win. So, for example here, There are times where, sure, it sounds like I got all these things going for me and I'm super energetic, I got all these things. There are times though where I'm like, this is awful. Like, I get down too. Like, I have my bad days, I have my feelings, I have the doubts, right? They all creep up at some point. But now, when those things happen, I can say, okay, I feel it. I do feel it. I'm acknowledging that feeling. And then, what I do is I reframe it, right? And I'm like, you know what? What has gone well for me today?

Absolutely.

What have I won at today? And a lot of times you can come up with a pretty good list of the wins.

Absolutely.

Yeah, so that's a big, that's a big part whenever you're feeling down or whatever, is to give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel proud of yourself. Give yourself permission to enjoy the things that are going well. Give yourself permission to appreciate what you do have, um, rather than only chasing what you want.

Absolutely. Jake, I know, you know, basketball is important. You got to work with the Lakers and I think you worked, you were there for Kobe Bryant's final season, correct?

Yeah.

You know, I've listened to a lot of his YouTube videos, the Mamba Mentality. He's so motivating. What is your experience as far as being closer to Kobe, being in that, that sphere of influence? How did he impact your life?

I mean, he's impacted my life for, for as long as I've been alive. I mean, I was born and 4 years later, 5 years later, Kobe's on the Lakers. So I grew up watching. I probably spent more time watching Kobe Bryant than pretty much any other human in this, in this world except my family, you know what I mean? Like, like we have a room in my parents' house that I grew up in, it's called the Lakers room. It's painted purple and gold. There's memorabilia on the walls. It's like We watch the championships, we watch everything in there. Yeah, but when I gotta work with the team, you know, we talk about how somebody can make somebody else feel or how somebody shows up every single day. When Kobe walks into the arena, when he showed up and he was playing and he took the court, the entire atmosphere changed. You could see the power and influence that one person had because of his greatness. He was so good at what he did that he brought together millions of people throughout the world, right? That's an incredible thing to be able to do.

Absolutely.

Now let's get— now I want to get a little more granular. When Kobe would warm up, he's on year 20. At the time, that team was full of young, young bucks. Year 1, year 2, year 3, a lot of young guys. They're all doing their routines. They all got all their energy, right? They're younger. Yeah, Kobe's on the older side. Every single time Kobe would warm up, he would do the same exact drills. He would do his fadeaway jumper from the elbow. He would do one dribble pull-ups. He would work on his free throws. Kobe would never stop working on the basics that made him the best. And because of that, even though he was injury-prone, even though he was on the way out, Yeah, he could still put points up. He could still do the things that allowed him to have that separation from everybody else.

Nice. Yeah, so you think that was the foundation? So if anything like fell by the wayside, he would go back to let's perfect that foundation.

Yeah, I mean, and you saw— you see it time and time again. And in that last season, there were a lot of times where Kobe was hurt. He wasn't himself, but he knew he had that obligation, that duty to serve the people that would spend their their savings accounts to come watch him play in his final season.

Yeah.

But he didn't have the talent that he used to have. He can't jump as high. He can't move as quickly. So what did he revert back to? He reverted back to the things he did better than everybody else.

Yeah.

So when he was in the post, if he had the ball, he would do his fadeaway jumper. He would do something that he was better than everyone else at because he had practiced it more than anybody else had.

Nice.

And this is something that's so, so key for, for us as we, as we think about growth and success and separation.

Love that you're going there. Yep. So, so because, and see, I thought you were going to keep going. So if you think about that exact same example you just shared with us about Kobe doing the exact same thing, is your advice as a business coach, like, you know, someone who's just starting their entrepreneurial journey, do you perfect the 3 things that you do very well, keep doing those same things, or do you just go, oh, let me see how I'm feeling learning today, what's your advice? You know, do you take the Kobe Bryant approach or do you experiment more?

I believe you've got to have consistency. One of the things, and I want to keep this like, I want to keep this generic for right now.

All right.

This could be in anything that you want to improve or have more success in your life. Maybe you're at a job and you're trying to get a promotion. Maybe you're trying to hit your sales quota. Maybe you're trying to lose 15 pounds to get back to your college weight. Whatever it may be. Maybe you're trying to ease off the donuts every day or take, you know, one less Coors Light out of the fridge at night. Like, right, whatever it's going to be, you got to start with consistency. You got— if you're building this, you got to start with consistency because our goal as a human being is to get better every single day. If we get better every single day, we're going to achieve a lot of great things.

Absolutely right.

And a lot of times We aren't good enough for the result that we want in terms of our skills. We are always good enough for the results that we want as a human being. This is a big distinction because a lot of times in the pursuit of growth, we identify with the achievement rather than pursuing the achievement but identifying as ourselves as a human being.

Right.

We are not human doings, we are human beings.

Yes.

And it's important for us to be consistent so that we can get great at the fundamentals, and that way we can continue to process, emphasize, be more effective, and then you can start to add on and continue to grow and try new things to improve the overall success and the speed at which you do that.

Does that make sense? Absolutely. So with that being said, How does Jake start his day off? I feel like you have a very consistent thing. And mainly also, cause you know, I want to know the secret to Jake's energy here. Tell us about your day that sets you up for the best possible, you know, path to success that day.

All right. You're getting lucky here today because I just put something new on the calendar that I'm starting next Monday. So, so whenever this comes out, like we're giving the first look right here, I'll give you my normal routine. Now, I'm going to preface this by saying something very counterintuitive. I am starting to believe that the greatest routines are the ones that create the most freedom. Okay? Now, that's almost the antithesis of what a routine is, right? Doing the same thing over and over again, right? That's a routine. Here's why I think this is so important. Whenever you're doing something and you're doing it on repeat over and over and over again, sometimes you can not be as interested one day. And then that interest leads to inaction, and that inaction leads to a break of the routine or break of the habit, right? And so I think it's very important to have permission to be free within a routine, but as long as it achieves the result that you aim for it to achieve, okay?

Yep.

Because otherwise, for a guy like me who's very ambitious, I can get so focused on just having to do everything that I miss the whole point, which is to fuel my mind, to get my energy right, and to be able to produce at the highest level. So, that being said, I wake up most mornings at 5:32 AM. And yes, 5:32, not 5:30. The reason for this is nothing more than I'm a math nerd. Okay? And I love the fact when numbers add up or subtract or equal each other in some capacity. Right. Okay. So, 5 minus 3 is 2. Throw in a little bonus here, 32 is my favorite number. So, it just works.

All right?

We're just gonna roll with that.

Okay.

The first thing I typically do is is I'll do 3 minutes of meditation before I get out of bed. All right? So I hit my alarm, no snooze, never a snooze. And as soon as I hit my alarm, I literally have the text pop up on my alarm that doesn't just say stop. It says, today's going to be a great day. That way within seconds, I'm programming greatness. I'm programming it. I wake up, 3 minutes of meditation, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and then I get straight into an hour and a half of deep work. So I go straight to hammering home things that have to get done that day. They're going to move the needle forward for me. Sometimes they're things I really want to get done and I just block it off. Sometimes it's just a little bit of busy work, but I know that if I don't do it, then it's not going to get done. All right. So that's an hour and a half right off the bat. After that, I take a little breather and that's when I start to do all the extra stuff.

Okay.

I journal. Happy to go into my journaling routine. I journal for about 5, 10 minutes. I read for about 20 minutes. I'll stretch. I'll work out. Then I'll shower. Then I'll shower. And then after that, I eat. And then I do my goals and my mantra. And that puts me into the frame of mind that says, okay, it's game time. The workday is starting. Let's allow people in. All of this is my time. Yeah, up until that. And then it says, okay, the world is open, let's go crush.

Boom.

And so the new thing that I'm adding, the new thing that I'm adding, and I got to share this with you, I know you're going to love this, please, is I think that, and I mentioned celebrating our wins along the way, one of the things that I think is so important for us in this journey is we have to be our own biggest fan.

Yeah.

If we don't love ourselves, if we don't root for ourselves, If we don't cheer ourselves on, who else is going to do it in the moments where we need it the most, right? So I have added to the calendar a 15-minute pump-up meeting with myself. Okay, this is gonna, this is gonna be literally me and no technology, and I'm just going to probably in front of the mirror or in front of like my screen, I'm just going to hype myself up. I'm going to list off all the greatest things I can about me. I'm going to compliment myself. I'm going to let me put on music and I'm just gonna feel, right? And I'm just gonna get hyped up on my— on myself. Like, I'm going to just tell myself how great I am. I'm going to love myself wholeheartedly, and I'm going to commit to bringing that energy to myself I bring to others, because I know what fills me up is giving that feeling to others. So why can't I give that feeling to myself more?

Yeah.

And so I now— I've put it on the calendar as part of the morning routine to see How this, how this impacts everything that, that I'm doing, um, and see how it, how it kind of moves the needle. And if it helps me show up even better for the people that I'm here to serve.

I love that, man. Yeah. That's really, really good. You taking things to the extra, like, you know, we're like going to 12 right now. And so, you know, I have a morning routine, but I know that like, you know, doing my values work, my health and my wellness is number one. And so I have to, you know, I do my stretching, I do my journal, my meditation, and then I work out. Then I do the revenue generating action, you know, that kind of thing. And so I love the flexibility of that, you know, and I love how, so you said, you know, you can explain or delve into your journaling because my journaling, what I like is I do the Habit Nest journals. They have a whole compilation of them and, you know, gratitude. What am I grateful for? What am I looking for? For the day, sometimes just a thought dump. What is your routine for journaling?

Yeah, and I think you make a great point here and something that, that's important about morning routines, because I think sometimes social media or even mainstream media portrays what a routine is supposed to look like.

Yeah.

Oh, this is what this person's doing, this is what this person's doing. And so we feel obligated that we have to do all of these things to be successful like them. I think the greatest morning routines are the ones that allow people to feel the most themselves so they can show up as their best self. So in terms of my journaling routine, the first thing I'll do is I'll do 3 things I'm grateful for, all right? And the difference between that and what a lot of people do is I will always say, I am grateful for whatever it is because, and include a reason. I do that so that I can really feel the gratitude rather than just saying, oh, I'm grateful for this water bottle, I'm grateful for my phone, I'm grateful for my computer mouse. Instead, I say why, and that really makes me believe the gratitude. You feel me on that?

Oh, I do. Yeah.

Yeah. So, it's a little switch that like works for me. No one's ever taught me that. I just said, I'm going to feel this, and that was like, oh, wow, I'm really actually feeling the gratitude for this thing or these people rather than just saying I'm grateful for them. So, I start with that. Then, I do what's called the 24-hour positive experience. And this is entirely to help you program your mind to focus on the positives. So the 24-hour positive experience basically is think of the last 24 hours of your life and pick one positive experience that's happened. All right, then you journal 3 to 5 sentences in detail about that one experience, right? What this does is this allows you to relive on paper and in your mind, great experiences. So we talk back, well, what if you're not at that level? What if you're not feeling great about everything?

Yeah.

Well, there's always something we can have that's positive, right? So no matter how good or bad the last 24 hours was, we find one good thing and we start talking about that a lot. That now programs our mind to start seeking out positive experiences. And that allows us to enjoy the journey essentially. Absolutely. I do that. Then I write down 3 things that I'm excited for. I look at my calendar and I look at, okay, I look at my meetings, my calls. I'm like, what am I excited about? So today in my journal, like, I'm excited to be on the podcast with Travia Steward. Like, let's go, right? And what that does is that just now I'm actually more excited about that than I already was. So I'm just telling, like, I'm re-looking at it. And sometimes I'll do it with things that I'm not as excited about, to like bring myself up to the excitement level, right? And then the last main thing that I do is I do I am statements. So really focusing on creating that future identity as my current self, right? So creating the highest self version of Jake Kelfer. And that always includes things around personal, that includes relational, it includes money, and it includes business. And then it includes whatever I'm feeling. And I always finish that with the last sentence of I am a champion. That is my last sentence because I'm here to win the game of life and to win the game of life, I got to be a champion.

Right.

And so that's my final sentence, um, every single time. And that typically takes about 5 to 10 minutes to do that journaling process.

Wow. I love that.

Yeah.

I'm, I'm, I'm going to borrow several of those things that you said. Absolutely. Yeah. I love that. Jay, you know, you are a very personable guy. And I feel like I am as well, but something about you just is so like all caps. Like, what do you think that is within you internally that makes you want to connect so much with people? I feel like you do that very genuinely.

I appreciate that a lot. Like that, that kind of, that kind of compliment makes me feel, uh, feel pretty, pretty good inside. So thank you for that.

Absolutely.

You know, I think, I think part of this is every human being has the same basic desires. All right? We all want to be loved. We all want to be heard. We all want to feel that we belong. We want to feel that we matter. We want to be complimented. We want to be appreciated. We want to receive recognition of some capacity. Well, if we know this, then why don't we as human beings make more of an effort to give somebody those feelings, to allow them that opportunity.

Yeah.

And so for me, you know, that comment right there that you just made is going to stick with me today. Like, that's kind of like, like, yes, like, cool, like, this is amazing.

Yeah.

But we can do that. That took 5 seconds, right? And you took no effort, right? And maybe didn't even mean to like really, really juice me up, but you were just saying something nice, right? We can do that every single day for both ourselves or for other people. And this allows us to really be able to show that we care. And we do it in a way that actually matters. Don't just do it to do it because you're only lying to yourself at that point. Do it because you believe it. Do it because you want to make a difference. And so, you know, when I think about it, for me, I genuinely just enjoy that. I genuinely believe in people. I believe that relationships and connection is the number one foundation to a life well-lived. I believe that everybody seeks happiness and freedom. And we know that the studies show that connection is the number one indicator to long-term happiness.

Right?

So if we kind of look at it just from a math equation, that relationships lead to happiness and we all want happiness, therefore, relationships is the, is the number one part. And if we take it back a step, what comes before relationships? Well, it's humans connecting with each other. That's how you build a relationship.

Absolutely.

So for me, it's— I just, I, I think it's— I just really love that. And then I also think it has to do with my upbringing. Um, I'm very blessed to have two parents that love me. I'm very blessed to have a younger brother who supports me, and I support him and my family. And, um, you know, when you're around people, whether it's family and if you didn't have family but friends, people that genuinely love you and care about you, you can do a lot of great things in the world. And you want to give that feeling to show somebody that you feel loved and that they feel loved too. And so, I just think I've kind of packaged it all together and I keep reading and learning and that's just what I do. And I'm trying to, I smile as much as I can. And I just try to make sure that wherever I go, the room is elevated. The room is better because I went in there, right? We talk about trash, right? We talk about trash. We got to make sure it's cleaner than we came in, right? That's a phrase that everyone knows, right? I talk about people like that. You got to leave people better than when you found them, right? And that's in the form of what I call the feeling of elevation, which is giving somebody that feeling to be better, to feel greater, and to be more happy.

I love that, Jay. You know, you're just segueing to everything that I want to talk about because, you know, and this is really green, but because I'm using a green screen, but my absolute favorite chapter in your book, Elevate Your Network, is key number 5. People are people. Love is love. Compassion is compassion. Like, if I were going to fall in love with Jake, it's because of key number 5.

Why was—

yeah. Why was that such an important aspect that you wanted and needed to include in the book?

All right. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure It's that key that has the Jerry West story.

I think so.

It'll be on, it'll be right after, it'll be the page right after the title page where it'll talk about, about this, this feeling. All right, now if it's not there, it's one of the, one of the keys right next to it, but it's all about the Lakers. Oh yeah, no, no, no, there it is.

Jerry West was there.

Was it? Yeah, yep, yep, yep. All right, so, so let me, I'm gonna give the story from the book actually. All right, because I think, I think this will help people understand why this is so valuable. Now I briefly preluded to this idea that we all want to be loved, heard, commented by, etc. Now I'm working for the Lakers. Now remember, it's my first job. I'm 22 years old. I'm fresh out of college. I don't really know what the heck I'm doing, but I'm doing it. I'm going big.

Right, right.

I'm in an elevator ride. And one of my jobs was actually to pick all the contestants for all the half-court contests, the halftime shows, whatever, whatever. I get in the elevator. I'm like, this is going to be a normal elevator ride. I'm in my suit. I got my Lakers tie.

Yep.

I wore a Lakers tie to my Lakers job. And I'm in the elevator, Travia. And right before the doors closed, Jerry West walks in the elevator. Now, immediately, I start to sweat. I'm like, this is unbelievable. My heart's pounding. Jerry West is there. Now, the person working the elevator says to Jerry, he says, excuse me, sir, do you have a credential? And because this elevator went down to the event level and Jerry West looks at him like kind of confused and he goes, no, I don't. But do you know who I am? And the person working the elevator had no clue who Jerry West was. Right. And I'm like, how do you not know who this guy is? He is a Lakers legend, Hall of Fame player, the guy that the NBA made the logo after. I mean, this is an icon. All right? Right. Well, the person working the elevator has no clue. So he asked Jerry, says, excuse me, sir. Well, if you don't have a credential, I'm gonna have to ask you to step off because this young man pointing at me has work to do. He's gotta go. He's got work to do.

Right.

And I was like, I can't believe what's about to happen. Jerry's about to step off the elevator. He starts to walk off and I'm like, no way is this happening. This is a moment. I go, wait, wait, wait, he's with me. He's my guest. I'll escort him down.

Wow.

The person working the elevator looks at me and he goes, are you sure? Because like, I didn't— I could address Jerry and I didn't say anything. And so I look at Jerry and I'm like, what do you say? Jerry gives me that nod of approval. And Travia, the next 14 seconds One of the best elevator rides I've ever had. All right, right. And we come off the elevator, we're about to go our separate ways, and in my mind I'm wondering, is he going to be pissed that the elevator attendant didn't know who he was? Is he going to be mad that I had to stand up for him and he doesn't even know who I am? Like, what is his reaction about to be? He goes, right before we separate, he shakes, sticks out his hand, says, thank you, I appreciate what you just did for me. That feeling right in that moment made me feel like the most important person in the world. I was like, whoa, Jerry West just said thank you to me, right, for taking him down the elevator. One of the most simplistic things of all time. There was a button pressed and he thanked me and appreciated that, right? This made me realize one truth: people are people, love is love, compassion is compassion. Because it doesn't matter how old we are, how young we are, how rich we are, how poor we are, what our religious background is, where we come from. None of that stuff matters. The only thing that matters is that we're all people and we all have the same basic desires. And if we allow ourselves to realize that, we can allow ourselves to take action that gives people hope, that gives people a feeling of positivity, a feeling that they can achieve greatness in whatever element they want to achieve it in.

Right. Wow. That's, that's a great story, Jake. You're a great storyteller. Yeah. I could see, I've never heard you speak on stage, but I can see how engaging you would 100% be. So I know that you have drive outside of your drive and determination. What do you think is the biggest thing that you can attribute your quick success? And I say quick, quick success with your networking business. 2.

So, there's drive, determination. Is relationships too easy of an answer to say there?

Well, I feel like we know that, but I feel like there's something else.

Yeah. All right. So, there's that, there's relationships. I mean, there's truthfully, there's a lot of things that I attribute to my success, but I also think it's very important as we do these things to create proper habits and to create, um, and to create clarity in where we're trying to go or what we're trying to achieve. I think that for me, every time I've been vague or unsure, it has created self-doubt, or it has created confusion both on myself and my potential customer, partner, whatever. Right. And so, I think having clarity and then being willing to take the action steps required is one of the pivotal things that have allowed me to grow multiple successful businesses.

Boom. Okay. So, having that clarity of the idea, how did that lead to you starting the Basketball Combine?

All right. This is a great example. Love that you're bringing this up. Very great segue. It's like, you know what you're doing interviewing me, you know what I mean? Um, I wanted to be a sports agent, right? Right. I want to be a sports agent. This was, uh, I was 24 and I was like, okay, I'm 24 years old. I had been out of college for now 2 years. I'd worked for Lakers. I'd released my first book. I hadn't worked at a sports agency since I was an intern. How am I going to get back into the space? Well, I started thinking of like all these different avenues. I could work for an agent. I could get a, get another internship. I could try to finagle my way in and connect some players to agents, whatever. And I realized, you know, wait a sec. What if there was a secondary NBA combine? A secondary place where draft prospects could go and be seen and be recognized? And I had a mentor at the time who kind of helped bring this idea to life. And that kind of bloomed and created the Pro Basketball Combine, which is an event that helps NBA draft prospects turn their dream of playing pro ball into their reality. And I was like, okay, hang on a sec here. If I can pull this off, I'm going to have agents as my customers. I'm going to get to know a ton of agents. I'm going to get to know all the NBA teams and I'm going to get to know all the basketball media outlets. Well, who else at 24 is going to have those types of relationships? Not many people. I also knew that, I also knew like, well, what if I failed at this, right? Because I was trying to do something where people had 25 years of experience in the field. I didn't even have 25 years there's a life, and I'm trying to do something crazy. So I had to really go back to the base. I had to say, okay, well, what is the purpose of doing this? How can I do this as quickly as possible? And who can I go to that is going to help me get there? And so I started to connect the dots. I started to build these relationships. But the minute I became clear on who exactly I was serving, aka NBA draft prospects who want to get to the NBA, it was a very finite group of people. We didn't have millions of prospects. We literally had a select group of players. It was very defined. We knew that the agents were going to be the customers to pay for them. We knew the media was going to give us exposure. We knew the teams were going to be needed to come to get the agents to pay for the players to attend.

Right.

And the minute I had all that clarity, it really allowed me to be diligent and go straightforward and use the drive and determination that we've talked about to make this dream my reality.

Right.

And we ended up, I mean, there was tons of ups and downs. I mean, I can go into all of these ups and downs in a second here, but I want to get, I want to make sure I address this. The most important point here is once, by the time we all got done, not only did we create an unbelievable event, but we helped all players that attend our event. We've now had over 99% of our players sign a pro contract following our event. And that's because we knew exactly what we could do to help the greatest number of people in the shortest amount of time. And that's why our events become one of the world's most recognized basketball combines within the NBA space.

Wow. So mentally, were you going into that going, oh man, I hope this works out, or I know this is going to work out?

I always know things are going to work out, but I didn't know how it was going to work out.

Okay, all right.

Like, I'm a big believer that, that— I'm a big believer that when you do something, it's gonna work out. The, the result just might not be exactly what you initially anticipate it to be, right?

Right.

So I knew that this was going to work out in some way. I just didn't know if it was going to be in the form of like a really great event, or it might have been somebody recognizing the effort and being like, I want him on my team. I want to hire him to be my agent in training or whatever it is.

Absolutely.

So I knew it was going to work out, but there were a lot of times where I didn't know if the event was going to actually pan out the way I thought it was in my mind. I mean, Travia, truthfully, there were times it was so hard because I would call agents, and agents are hard to negotiate with. I mean, that's what they're known for. I mean, Jerry Maguire, show me the money, right?

I love that show.

They are difficult. And they were like, Jake, this is never gonna work. They were slamming the phone. They're like, you don't even know anybody. Like, how do you expect to pull this off? They're like, if this could have been done, it would have been done. And I'm just like, man, these guys are ruthless.

Yeah.

But, and even, and then people would commit and then they'd drop out. And like, I didn't have all like the processes. I was still learning so much. I was trying so many things. But eventually, The event did happen and it did go really well and we did deliver what we promised we were going to deliver. And that produced an unbelievable reputation from year one. And we've carried that reputation as a credible source, a reliable event, and the people that are a part of it are people that all want to get to their next level.

Absolutely.

And I think that was something, something really, really important.

Wow. When, what time of year does the Basketball Combine take place?

Typically takes place the 3 years we've been able to do it in 2017, '18, and '19. It's been in May. I mean, it typically happens right before the NBA draft, which typically happens in June. So, we often do it in conjunction with when the NBA does their actual event.

Right. Do you plan on continuing it like 2021?

As of now, yeah, we definitely plan on continuing it. I mean, coronavirus has made it incredibly difficult. Just because it's literally a gathering of a lot of people. Yeah. And there's a lot— everybody that goes there is traveling from one place, um, from all over the country to one place. So I'd love to continue doing it. I mean, we have plans and we're in talks and we're looking at it right now.

Right.

Um, and there are a lot of obstacles, but we're gonna do— I may— I made the event, and the people that have helped me create this event, we did it in a way that we could help players achieve their dreams. We're going to continue to find ways to help players achieve their dreams, and hopefully it'll be in the form of the event, um, whether it's this year or in future years to come.

Perfect, perfect. Okay, so I know your specialty— I mean, my God, the, you know, Elevate Your Network— and I know your business coaching has a lot to do with helping other people elevate their network. So number one, why was it so easy, and why did you choose that main focus? And how is it that you do help clients elevate their network?

Yeah, so, um, networking— I, I mean, as, as I, as I've said, right, connection is single-handedly our, our, our number one factor to creating more happiness. It's our number one factor of making people feel better, giving people the opportunity to feel better, and it's the number one way we can make things happen. I mean, if you think about it Can you get a client if it— if there's no other person? No. Can you go on a date with somebody else if there's no other person? No. Can you do any type of deal, grow anything if there isn't another person?

No.

There's always going to be another person, um, and human connection is always going to win, right? So I realized as I looked through my, my journey before I wrote the book on, on networking I had realized that, okay, how did I end up having a successful book at 23?

Yeah.

Well, it's because of my network. How did I build the speaking business? It's because my network.

My network.

How did I start The Combine and make that successful? It's because of the network I figured out how to build. So I realized, you know what, the common theme between everything that's allowed me to enjoy myself while also build greatness is because of my network.

Your network.

So I wrote the book on networking. And I think that You know, sometimes people give networking a bad, a bad rap, like, oh, you're, you're networking, right? And you kind of think of this, the sleazy salesman, or you kind of think of the person that just wants to collect business cards, right? And, and truthfully, you know, that's not networking. That's not networking. Networking is really about developing a true connection with somebody with this idea. And Kelf Key 23 in the book talks about a we is greater than me mentality, and this is the idea that when we're connecting with other people, are we doing it for our own gain, or are we doing it to make the world a better place? Are we doing it to help each other, or are we doing it to step on somebody else?

Right.

Are we lifting other people up, or are we tearing people down to get to where we want to go?

Absolutely.

And when you can connect the right way, you can connect with potential partners, potential clients, prospects, friends, It goes around the gamut and it ultimately creates a happier and more fulfilled life. Yeah, so that's why we've really focused on connection as our, as our secret sauce to helping others grow as well and creating that incredible feeling in others.

Perfect. So Jake, I know you work with clients. Share with us how you work with clients because certainly people are going, this guy is infectious, I want to work with him. So how do you make that happen?

Absolutely. So, so our main program, and if people are watching this on video, you'll see it right behind me. I got, I got my backdrop and it's Elite Elevation. That is the name of our, of our coaching program. And, um, we're making some changes soon, so I'll keep those under wraps. But, um, we are, uh, basically what we do is, is myself and our team, we help people turn their dreams to reality. We help people turn their ideas to businesses. Turn their goals into revenue streams, and we help them create profitable online businesses through all through the power of connection, right? Using what we call the ACE method.

Ooh, intriguing. The ACE method. I love that. So, just throw a little bit of a breadcrumb. If someone is starting out and they have no or minimal network, what are like the top 3 things that you could be like, do this, this, this, this, this will jumpstart your network.

Well, what do you, what do you— okay, so the first thing I'd say is, well, why do you want to build this network? What is the intention in the first place? So if you want to clarify, let's put a situation out there.

Yeah.

Give any— give me any situation that somebody that comes to your mind, what are they trying to achieve?

Right. They're trying to bring in more clients.

All right. They're trying to bring in more clients. Okay. Well, one of the first things that we have to do is understand, well, who is the client? Right? If we don't know who the client is, how are we going to be able to communicate effectively with that client?

Right.

So first thing I would do is reach out to potential clients, reach out to friends, reach out to people, and start to share your ideas of what you have, what you're trying to do, or what it is that you've been doing and how, how they respond to it. I would also reach out to a lot of people that are already doing what you want to do more. I would reach out to them, I would connect with them, I would learn from them, I would try to get in front of them, I would do things of value for them. So that you can build your partnerships with them. And then I would also, and this is an underrated thing when it comes to networking, is I would also make sure your relationship with yourself is on point. And that comes in the form of talking yourself up. It comes in the form of believing that what you have is incredible because a lot of people have great experience, have great knowledge, have a lot of great, amazing things to offer. But sometimes we discredit that because we don't have a 6-figure, 7-figure, and 8-figure figure business. We don't have hundreds of clients, so we don't— we devalue what it is that we have to offer, even though we are so amazing as people.

Absolutely.

And so those are some of the tidbits that I would say to really get going on, on building that network and who you should be building that network for if you want to gain more clients.

Got it. Okay, Jake, how old are you?

28.

28?

What a baby!

Oh my God, because I just opened your book, you're like, I did a book at 23, and I was I was like, shit, that was in 2018. He's not that old. I was like, oh, 28. When I was 28, I didn't even know to think a lot of the things that you're thinking as we sit here and talk, you know, it's so incredible. So you've already done all of this stuff at 28. What's on the horizon? What is like your next, like big thing? Like, you know, before I go to my grave, if it's 100, I must do this thing. What is that thing?

You know, I think, I mean, I have so many things that I want to do and achieve, but I think the thing that's most important for me is eventually having a family and kids because that to me is the ultimate success. And, you know, that's really important to me down the road. Like you said, I'm 28, so that's on the horizon, you know. Right now, as of this recording, I'm in a great relationship. We'll see where that goes, but I think the biggest thing that I want to achieve in this, in my life, is to have kids and to be a loving husband and father.

Boom! I love that. Full circle. So, Jake, as we wrap up, what is your preferred method that you— people who want to connect with you, where should we send them? I'm going to put all your stuff in the show notes, but what's your preferred place?

Instagram. Instagram. I'm there. I want to connect, I want to respond, I want to engage. That's @JakeKelfer. Um, and anyone that's listening, if you go there, um, on my— in my bio, there's a link for a free book of Elevate Your Network, the book that we've talked a little bit about. Uh, we bought a bunch of copies and we give them out all over the country. Um, all that we ask is that you cover the shipping cost on that. So that's a link in my bio, but we'll give everyone who's listening a free copy of the book. Um, and yeah, I love to connect with everybody on Instagram @JakeKelfer.

Hey, Jake Careful, boom! Thank you so much for your time, Jake. I could talk to you for another 6 hours and we can go on and on, but I know we don't have that kind of time today. That'll be another podcast. Thank you for your time, Jake. Thank you for being on the podcast today.

Thank you for having me. It was a blast.

If you're finding value in these podcast episodes, in these videos that I upload to YouTube, I would love it if you'd go to Apple Podcasts and leave a 5-star review. It helps other people find the podcast and It also helps me to know that I'm on the right path. And so thank you so much for listening. If you would like some one-on-one coaching, my link is in the bottom of the show notes. Feel free to click it. It takes you directly to my contact form and let's have a free conversation of how I could help you reinvent you and transform your life for success.