Ep 61: Reclaim your power over your life with Jenn Evers

You are listening to episode number 61 with Jen Evers.

If you're someone who wants to make major changes in their life, someone who wants to achieve their goals, or maybe you're someone who knows this is not as good as it gets but you have no idea where to start, on the Reinvent You Podcast, we explore different types of people, their successes and failures, and how they reinvented themselves to create the life they love.

It's our hope that from hearing their stories that you too may have more insight into what it takes to build a life that you envision for yourself. Here to help you do that is performance and life coach Travia Steward. My guest today on the Reinvent You Podcast is a nurse and also a professional development specialist in nursing education. She is also an empathic healer, a cycle spiritual life coach, and a Reiki master. Who uses her gifts as a highly intuitive healer to help others reclaim their power over their lives, step out of the guilt and find the love they seek from others right here within themselves. Today, today on the podcast, we talk about Jen's struggle and how she was trying to live through everyone else's rules, how she released the shame and the guilt that she carried around for years, using intention to heal from dis— ease and her awakened moment, and among so many other things. Join us now as we delve right into the episode. Welcome, Jen Evers.

Boom!

Jen Evers, welcome to the Reinvent You podcast. I just want my audience to know, guys, I've just been so excited about having this conversation with Jen. I feel like, you know, we have so much in common, and it's not every day you get that— you get to sit down and have a conversation like that is just very raw that you have so much in common with someone. So Jen Evers, if you will do me the honor of introducing yourself to my people and just give us a little bit about, you know, a little context as to who Jen Evers is and a little bit about your story of how you have come to be the person you are today as you sit here. You know, I would love to say in my studio, but we're on Zoom. So here you go. So welcome to the Reinvent You Podcast, Jen.

Thank you so much. I am so grateful to be here and share the story with so many because I think it's a place that so many of us stay in is just really wearing a mask, right? Figuratively and literally right now. But who am I? You know, that's an evolving question every day. And that's the beautiful thing is, is that I've known all my life who I am. I'm just really rediscovering and remembering. So I'm a nurse by day. I teach other nurses And 2020 has been unlike any other. I spent the majority of my career in the ICU, and I use those skill sets, those patterns, all the things that I realized that lived within people, the stories that they had. And I had to remember my own story and reframe it, right, reinvent it. But it's more about deconstruction of it. So I am a nurse by day, but I am a psychospiritual life coach and an empathic healer. So as an empath, I don't just take on the energies of other people, I help to shift and change and help to transform those if the other person chooses to do so. Um, it felt like a curse for much of my life, right? But once I started to embrace who I was, I learned how to work with it and help others to find it within themselves to heal. So that's, that's, that's what I do now. It's a journey I'm on and it evolves every day and I am so grateful for it. Wow.

So for people who are going, you know, which, you know, I know everything that you're talking about, you know, but delve a little bit into like spiritual empath, you know, you taking on like, like, what does that mean? It's kind of like, you know, if I don't know what you're talking about, I think Jem walks by someone and it's like, oh, their feelings are like a magnet. You know, you feel everything that everybody feels in the general vicinity that you're in.

Absolutely. And for so long, not understanding what it was, I carried all that stuff with me. It's— it can be scary if we don't understand it. And that's the beauty and the uniqueness that I think that I bring is that I'm very logical, right? That left brain part. But I'm also the very emotional. Which is that right side empathetic. But I've had to understand things to wrap my head around them, right, in order to really feel like, okay, I know where I'm going, I feel safe, I can work with this. So a spiritual empath is just a gift. It's just a gift that we came in with, and it's the ability, like a radio antenna really, to pick up on all the emotions, those vibrational frequencies that other people are emitting. And, you know, not to get too scientific on you, but in my background, I love disease. I love pathophysiology. I love the study of it. And what I've, you know, applying Newton's theories and Einstein's theories, everything is energy. So when you understand that a thought, emotion, a belief, an action, all of it holds vibrational frequency, right? But I'm one of the people that can walk into a room and feel the energy immediately. And so as an empath, that's draining. We love being around people because we know we can help people. We do that in service. But when we come home at the end of the day, we're like, don't talk to me. I can't deal with anything else.

Yeah.

And that affects our life when it's not in balance because we don't understand it.

Right.

And if we don't understand it, we just think there's something wrong with us.

Mm-hmm. When did you realize you had the gift? Of being a spiritual empath? Like, how young were you?

So consciously, right, in my awakening, maybe 2 and a half years ago, but really, I can remember sitting in a room with people that were 3 times my age as a child, I was probably 5, 6 years old. And they would be talking about something, but I felt the energy that it held. And I knew within them where it stemmed from. There was a pain, there was a trauma, there was a wound, there was some issue with our self-worth that we're not good enough, right? And this is the projection that comes out of people's mouths because there's a wound that's just a stick prodding inside of it all the time, right? I was raised very, uh, dogmatic, um, and so I grew up in a household that was full of love but with a heaping side of conditions and guilt that went along with it, right? No judgment, right? Just we base the things we teach our kids on our own belief system. And that was, you know, where I came from. So it was really awakening 2 and a half years ago, getting to a point in my life where I was just like, at such a rock bottom place, and finally saying, I need help, right? And what I thought I was going to for Quit smoking, it turned out to be the best step I've ever taken in my life for my healing and to be able to now speak to other people. Right. You're worth it.

Wow, there are so many directions that I want to take everything that you've said. So first of all, my goodness, okay, so just your whole journey, like, you, you know, sometimes the spiritual empath, I mean, you know, the trauma, all the things that we, we withhold You know, there's a part of Jen that you came to terms with, right? Being a spiritual empath, how were you able to come to terms with who you were that you withheld, you know, your sexuality, all of that story? I mean, my goodness, I feel like it was a causeway, like it was like, you know, like the interstate of intersecting. Like, tell me about that collision course. How did that begin to intersect and then blossom? Because I feel like that's how the— what it— the awakened nurse, right?

Yes.

Tell me about that birth.

Well, you know, it really started consciously when I was 17 and I came out and I had such a fear of failure, disappointing my parents, the people that loved me, because, you know, I validated my self-worth based on what everyone else thought about me, told me about myself, who I should be, who I shouldn't be. Um, you know, I was kicked out of my church at 17. Um, because there was a fear. There was a fear of the people who believed the way that they did that I was gonna molest children, right? And, um, that was painful. That was probably really the most painful thing because it was like, I thought these people cared about me and loved me. And I had love from my parents. They were confused, right? They didn't know what this path was going to look like, but somehow we held fast to that love. And we made the priorities of what, what mattered over time. And then I think, you know, I had a scholarship to medical school. I was planning to be a genetic engineer, right? Go to the top, because once you're at the top, then you're enough. And this pattern that kept replaying over and over again. And I left all that, moved across the country. You know, I failed at everything in my opinion of myself. And that's, you know, over time I got married, I had kids, and this pattern kept coming up with my wife of I was never enough. And it was 2 years, 2 and a half years ago, probably, that I got to a point where I was like, I was going to lose everything if I didn't choose to finally ask somebody for help. And that's what I did. And it turned into learning about myself, going within, But the, the really big shift that happened, you know, there's, you know, Travia, we can, we can read a book, right? And read a book all day long. I've read every self-help book all the way through, right? But it's not application of it, right? It's logical. It's not tangible and putting it into action. And that was what changed. But I was outside. I have to ground. That's something that is an empath is so important for us to connect, right, with nature, be outside. And I was going through my Reiki master training, which is all about healing, and there's so much stuff that comes up through that. And I saw my 17-year-old self, and she said, let's walk. And so I did, you know, I embraced that instead of being afraid of it. I just said, okay, I'm going to listen to what she needs to tell me about how she felt in that place in her life. And I listened to her Right. And she was telling me how she felt and the hurt and the pain and this person and that person. And at a moment I said, who told you all of that? And there was a silence. And she went outside of herself and this— I said, but who told you those stories that you keep telling yourself? And there was this profound realization. And I said, I did. And that was the minute that I knew that I could write a different story that I told myself. And that was the shift that happened that really has propelled me to where I'm at today and wanting to speak this to other people. Because if I can do it, right, everyone can do it. And that's the beauty, is we all have the potential. It's just we don't believe in ourselves. We don't think we're worthy enough to even deserve it.

Right. Wow, that was powerful. So, wow, just rewriting your story, it just— I did. I mean, I, you know, because I taught high school theater for 24 years, and so I totally went there with you as you asked yourself that question and you stepped out. Like, I totally visualized that. And so is that a practice? Is that something that you still continue to do? Is that how you seek out and find answers still to some of the— your more pressing questions right now?

Sure. I mean, the true nature, as you well know, of healing is it's a spiral. It's never a linear thing, right? Which we're so linear people just because of time and all of what we've been taught. But what I recognize is that everything showing up in my life is an opportunity for me to make a choice about who am I being with myself in this moment? Am I beating myself up? Am I going to that place of shaming and guilting myself and telling myself I'm not enough? Or am I really sitting with that and going, who do you choose to be in this? We don't have control over everything. We don't. We have control over what we choose to believe. That's it.

Yeah.

So it's an opportunity for us always, in every moment, especially the ones that don't feel good, right, to love ourselves more. Not less.

Right. So tell me a little bit more about— was it when you chose to switch your— like, choose, this is who I'm being? So, which is, you know, because my work as a coach is all about an identity shift, you know. Was it when you decided that I'm going to choose who I'm being in this moment, like, that you're like, I'm going to leave the shame, I'm going to leave the guilt, you know? Because I know, because you and I were speaking previously before I started recording, that you came out when you were 17. You know, and that was what, 20 years ago?

Yeah.

How have you been able to layer off, relieve, dump, you know, release the shame and the guilt? Because, you know, Jen, honestly, it took me— again, I'm still releasing some of it, to be honest. You know, and I'm older than you are. But what has been your process for releasing it? And have you released all of it?

No, I haven't released all of it. There's still things that trigger me. And the beauty in what you just said is the fact that healing is not something that we just have a quick fix at, you know, we buy a $27 solution. And all of a sudden, it's all fixed. It's time. And that's part of the process is learning the patience with ourselves and the allowance. And that's really just letting go of these stories, allowing things to show up in our life, being grateful for it. And then when it shows up, we have the recognition to stop, pause, and say, what is happening right now? Who am I being with myself? Breathe through it. And then we use the tools that we have, um, you know, whatever they may be. But the best one is just to say, I love you, to yourself. You're enough already. There's nothing you have to do. There's no one you have to be outside of who you are. You're, you're enough already. And you've always been that. It's just these programs that we have implanted in us since the time we were kids. And oh my God, plasticity, all that, you know, I can go into all that pathophysiology since, you know, before we were 7, these seeds of belief are being planted in it. And here's the thing, we're not judging the people who did these things to us, right? Because we have to respect the path of the place where they were at in that moment. And that's part of the healing really is when we can show compassion to ourselves first, we truly have the capacity to see through all the actions, right, through all the emotions, the thoughts, and get down to the who are they choosing to be with themselves and what trauma has caused them to feel that they're not enough. Because, right, I don't know if you've ever played the, uh, Kevin Bacon game. Do you— let's just show our age, right? Do you remember that game where you could take Kevin Bacon and an actor or actress and you could somehow you know, navigate acting to another actress and you could get back to him all the time, right?

Oh, I don't know that. I don't know that game.

It's probably different actors, but how you can take one situation and like relate it, you know, tag it all the way back. But it all comes back to who are we choosing to be with ourselves. That's why everything else in our life is showing up. And when stuff is a pattern, it's because it's saying, okay, What's your choice this time?

Yeah.

It's, it's not— I don't want to say it's a difficult road, because I don't use those words. Is it challenging? It's challenging because it's a lot. It's asking us to be uncomfortable.

Yeah.

And we don't like to be uncomfortable.

No, no, we don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that part of— I love that, that it's almost like you have just this just a natural segue to the next, the very next thing that I was I'm going to ask you, because so much of— there are some people who believe that, oh, your identity, you were born with your identity. I believe your identity is built. It's built because of some of the things that you were saying— your values, your parents, all the— your social environment. And one thing that part of my identity that was built that I've worked so hard to break is my fear of deep water. You know, and so, you know, which is so common, you know, oh, Black people don't like deep water, you know, Black people, you know, which is, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it goes with it, you know. And so, and I was like, that's not true, you know, and I love to swim. And so it's kind of like going against the grain of expectations, you know. And so when we're talking about some of the things that go hand in hand with like societal norms, you know, the things that are expectations. What would you say to someone who could be listening to this podcast right now as far as expectations, as far as like gender norms, the way people are supposed to look, the way people are supposed to dress, expectations? How could you speak to someone who's listening right now who is fighting against that wave? As far as breaking out of those identities.

Sure, absolutely. Expectations are something that we really hold ourselves to because the people that are setting them are people that we want to make happy, that we really are asking for their, um, you know, love. And that's, you know, parents are a great example. If we don't meet the expectation for, for what they're asking us to do, then it just reinforces the belief that we're not worthy, we're not lovable, uh, unless we're where they want us to be. So the best thing that I can say to anyone who is working through these expectations— because let's be honest, this is huge in our society, right? And that's fear. That's fear-based because it's what we've been taught. I mean, this is not 100 years worth of stuff. It's thousands of years of conditioning and and we're really now awakening to this fact of like, wait a minute, I have a choice. I don't have to choose to believe this, right?

Yeah.

But we're scared because if we do those things and we say, I'm going to take my path, I'm going to be who I authentically am and who I was created to be, are they still going to love me?

Right.

Right. Am I going to make them happy? Am I going to make them proud? And that's their choice. And that's the disconnection that we have to make, is we're enough already. And the person who has to love us is us, right? And when we shine that light, because we are embodying it, amazing things can happen in the external environment. And people can shift and change just by us shining our light and being who we are. I see it every day. And just what I do and holding a space for these nurses who have been through hell in the last year and a half. And let's be honest, it was hell before that. But this is really, you know, raised awareness of what it really truly is, right? So that was my purpose during all of that, right? And I realized that it's just a stepping stone to getting where I'm at. So if you're struggling with expectations, the first thing is you have to go within and work on yourself and your self-love. And the more you do that, the more you make it a consistent habit, it's gonna get easier. And the people around you start to shift and change because of you simply being who you are.

Yeah. What does that look like for you?

Well, personally, you know, I've used some other tools that, that the Ho'oponopono prayer is one of my favorite ones, which is just the simple 4 phrases: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. And that's a whole nother topic. Right.

Yeah.

But it's a simple tool. But I've noticed just people attracting to me like a magnet, right? Coming to me for just to vent all their stuff. I don't carry it all with me. I help them move it. I help them shift it. I help give them tools, right, to be able to— and I remind them every single day how worthy they are to love themselves, to stop beating themselves up. You're not a failure. You're simply learning. Right, process. And in my own relationships with my parents, it's completely different than it was 2 and a half years ago. Uh, with my wife, it's completely different, you know, through my awakening, my healing, not reacting to things that would have triggered me before. It's a healing that's happening within me, but my social circle is healing, and I see that it's not for me to to fix, right? I can't fix them, but by me working on myself, I'm healing the world. And that's, you know, Gandhi said that, and I never really understood that. I was like, I read, I was like, what the, what the hell does that mean? Yeah, can I fix the world if I go and fix myself, right?

Yeah. Well, what I, what I'm wondering is, how is it different? Like, what was it like before compared to how is it different now?

Oh, anxiety-ridden, uh, living in fear, um, you know, choosing to smoke a pack or two of cigarettes a day because I was so encumbered with these just fears of what if, what if, what if, am I enough, I gotta do this. I had to make a plan about everything before. Okay, I had to know I was safe, right? And I had to have it all worked out, right? And if I didn't have it worked out, I spent time in, you know, my head, right, figure it all out. And I wasn't safe. And now I'm just at the point where I go, I don't know what's going to happen. But I'm going to have the fear about whatever it is, I'm going to choose to do it anyway. And I'm going to trust and allow Divine Creator, God, universe, whatever you choose to believe in, to do exactly what it is I'm asking and holding my intention for. And It has been so freeing to do that, right? Because I don't worry anymore. You know, it still comes up. Yeah, I love that.

So people like— I just, you know, I try to ask the questions that I think one person on here is wondering. What would you attribute the one thing that, that, you know, it's like, that's wonderful, I'm glad, you know, she was able to get to the point to where, you know, you feeling that, what would you attribute the one thing that got you to that point? If you had to just choose one.

By simply doing the work on within myself.

Yeah, the self-love work.

Having patience for ourselves and really allowing ourselves to feel. Because if we're constantly shoving down the emotions that come up when the thoughts arise, they were not allowing. And it's okay, it doesn't matter the time frame. You can do a little bit at a time. You've got to trust, you've got to honor what you need. But I'll tell you, I did some ugly crying there for a while, right? Yeah, but I never allowed myself to do it. I had to be strong, I had to be stoic, I had to get my shit together because I got a family and kids and all that. And the more I allowed myself to feel it the more I released all of that attachment to it and the story that went with it.

Hmm. Wow. Okay. I get that. You know, and so with the anxiety, I'm not sure if you're familiar with what Saboteur's Positive Intelligence. And so what you were speaking to were things like, you know, we all have like the inner critic, they call the judges and stuff is what you were speaking to is like a hypervigilant. And so, and something, you know, like, and my, my main saboteur used to be hypervigilant. And so with the anxiety, waiting for the next shoe to fall, that kind of thing. And so, and I, as a coach and I work and I'm so keenly aware of it and I work very hard to, and I've lessened that now. Now it's hyperachiever because it's like, what can I achieve next? That kind of thing. But I'm so with you with that, you know, with what is the thing. So I relate to you when you say going within those types of things. And, and I see the difference in even my relationships when it comes down to how have things changed, you know? And so what would be the thing that you could, your advice to someone who's like, in my relationships and my communication with my significant other, my, my partner, my spouse, my wife, whatever, you know, what would be the advice that you would give to them if someone's having communication issues, if they're not connecting, if, you know, we've got a short fuse, not that you're relationship coaching or anything like that, but just coming from a place where I feel like where you were before compared to where you are now. What advice would you give them based on your relationship now?

Well, how esoterical do you want to go? Just playing.

Middle of the road.

Yeah, I hear you. So, you know, the reality is, is that anything showing up in our life, anything, any problem, any of that, there is a part of us that is creating that experience for us. It's like a trigger, right? It's a stick that's poked into one of our wounds, the things we're not aware of, those unconscious beliefs, that patterns and programs that have been put in us from a child. And the thing I'd like to say next to people is, whatever is projecting out of that person's mouth really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with their same wounding that's coming from within them. So there's nothing that you have to do. Now, you sh— you know, it's a good thing to look at, you know, maybe I could have responded in a different way, maybe I could have paused and not reacted. But if we're reactor— reacting out of emotion, then it's simply a trigger. So we really have to get down to this energetic wheel of how does it all fit together? Why is this showing up for me? What's my belief? What's the thought that's created from that? The emotion that comes up that then spurs the action. But it all comes back to that one core belief of where does our self-worth validated from?

Yeah.

And you know, I'm sure you know this, it's hard enough to change stuff about ourself, much less What power do we have to change other people? Yeah, we don't have to walk their path at their pace. And that's difficult, especially if it means that we work on ourselves, we start changing who we're being, whether we're responding or reacting, and that person's not at a place where they're ready to come with us. And that's what brings up the fear is what's going to happen.

Yeah, that's so true. Yeah. Um, you know, yeah, I'm, I'm of the school of thought where, you know, our thoughts create our reality and we can't control the external. You know, we can't control other people, you know. And I don't give people control of my thermostat anymore. And I used to, you know, I now keep it in my own pocket and in my control. And a lot of people, you know, allow, you know, oh my God, he ruined my day today. You know, well, because you gave him control of your day, that kind of thing. I know that, you know, something again you said in the beginning before I hit record. Board that— and I love this, you know. And so, and, and sometimes when I start talking about this, people go, okay, Trey's getting woo-woo on me right now. Jen, I'm, I'm ready for you to get woo-woo, even more woo-woo than we already have been woo-woo. But you spoke about disease and, and, and, and dis-ease, you know, with our ability to heal ourselves, you know, through intention. I would love for you to begin speaking about that because I'm a believer in that. You know, there was, you know, I was doing some research and some work. You know, I love Joe Dispenza. I just, oh my goodness, I'm just all about it. And I was doing some research and I ran across some work where this, this woman had, you know, she'd gone into meditation and she had a root canal done on herself. And all she, you know, there was no, no, no, no They didn't numb her mouth.

Anesthesia.

No anesthesia. Thank you. I couldn't think of the word anesthesia. No anesthesia. She went into meditation and had a root canal, and I was like, holy shit, the woman, you know. Can you please speak to using intention?

Sure.

Yeah, go ahead.

Okay, absolutely. So we've already outlined the fact that everything is energy, right? So all this stuff that we're carrying with us, if we're not moving through it, if we're not healing through it The last thing that usually shows up in our life is the physical imbalance of it all. And that has nothing to do except with all these trapped emotions that have nowhere to go, nowhere to flow, that we're carrying with us, and they embed themselves and get stuck and stagnant in our organs. And this is what contributes to disease. And this I can actually feel on a very vibrational level when I'm around people. So I know that this works through intention because I've seen it heal people. Just through the power of belief, of stating these things to yourself every day. But the belief is what holds the key, and it has to do with us knowing who we are, where we come from, that we're powerful co-creators of our existence. We're not separate from Source, that All That Is. There's nothing for us to connect to. It's simply for us to remember who we already are. And if we can create, matter doesn't, you know, it's not destroyed. First law of thermodynamics is matter is neither created nor destroyed, it's simply transformed. So just by speaking the words, thinking the thoughts, feeling the feelings, and doing the things we need to do to reinforce that, we can heal ourselves. Now, having said that, there are some conditions physically that show up from birth right? And even later in our lives, that in another level, vibrationally, there are things showing up for us and other people in our life to have a certain experience. So when kids are born with disabilities, all those types of things, it's, it's an experience for all the people that are involved. And it's one that was chosen before we got here. It's just, we don't know that stuff. We don't believe it because we weren't taught it. And so the experience of it, the emotions, the thoughts that go with it, can be very painful for the people involved. That is my belief. And I see it, but that's because I feel it. And so I trust that feeling and that intuition and that knowing. But it's different to know those things and then be in it and be able to have all of that go along with it. So I understand that. It's not to diminish or devalue anyone's experience. But, you know, we all go through crisis in our life, illness, loss of something, and it makes us have to sit with that feeling of our mortality. Who are we? And what are we choosing to do? And if we're able to get through that, what comes out of us that's always been there that we shed as we walk through that pain and that fear?

Right.

You know, and so, I mean, you're living proof of that, right?

Right. So, so the nuts and bolts of it, right? So people think I'm crazy when I say this. Okay. So I was diagnosed with breast cancer early 2020. And I, I've always— my whole life I was afraid of getting cancer. Like when I would drive to my high school, there was an MD Anderson Cancer Center. On the right. And I would be like, don't look, don't look over there. You'll turn to stone, you'll get cancer. Don't look over there. I've always been afraid of cancer. If somebody said, oh my God, you know, Deborah's been taken in, she had back pain and they found out it was bone cancer, I'd be like, oh God, I think my back hurts. And like, I've always had that thought. I was like, oh my God, just don't let me get that cancer. And so, you know, every year I would have a mammogram, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it was early stage DCIS. I had double mastectomy, boom, boom. You know, it was early. I honestly, Jen, I feel like, you know, I've been doing a lot of research on this stuff on, you know, I do know that your thoughts create your reality. I know this. And so I feel like I cultivated the soil that permeated, you know, I do. And I think I had a breast reduction in 2009. I think I had some abnormal cells and I think it just created the perfect storm. That kind of created the environment in which it was allowed to grow. And so, and I think my thinking didn't help. And people go, that's crazy. Yeah, they do.

But that's, but that's okay. It's just not in their wheelhouse yet, right? They don't— it's not something we've been taught. So if you've ever read metaphysical stuff, I invite you to read Louise Hay, Heal Your Body.

Oh, I've done a lot of her affirmations.

Yeah, so that book Heal Your Body, uh, is what changed my world after 10 years of the spiritual journey and reading all the self-help books and being like, okay, I think I understand. I wasn't applying any of it. I didn't know how to. And then I got that book and it was like, oh, I had eczema all over my body from as a kid. And I started— eczema has everything to do with fear. And so I started speaking these affirmations, and within one week the eczema was gone from my body because Really? Yeah, one week. And I tell people that and they're like, what? Are you serious? I'm like, yes. And that is— I had my own personal experience. It's not like I'm just reading a book and saying, here, use this. But cancer has everything to do with guilt, a resentment, and a deep eating away at the self. Oh, but you have to combine it. So if it was right side, then it was more the masculine side. If it was left side, it was more the feminine. Am I open to receiving? As a male, as a male dominant side, it's giving, giving, giving. And then you look at the breast, and that has everything to do with the nurturing and the mother. So you combine those things and you go, hmm, where does that fit into my life? But you're right, the speaking of it— but it wasn't as much about the speaking of it as your fear that contributed to the vibrational tangibility of all of that. Right. You didn't ask for this, right? It was an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself. Yes, absolutely. And you made the choice to do so, and that's the beautiful part, is been part of your healing. It's just, why does it have to get to crisis for us to choose to heal?

I know, it's true.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

I mean, I was on track to be a nurse practitioner. I had to go to the top be a, you know, an adult intensivist, um, because I'm, you know, that's what, what the expectation was of what was enough, right?

Yeah.

And I wasn't listening. And I'm an empath. Why the hell would I want to be responsible for writing prescriptions and managing care when I was already having, you know, anxiety attacks about caring for them to begin with? But I was like, nope, got to be the best, got to prove whatever, right? And I had to hurt my hand. And I got a horrible infection in my hand. And I was out of work for 3 and a half months. I just started my master's program. And it was that point that said, slow down, stop. And I had to question everything. Is my hand ever going to work? My dominant hand? And finally, it was like, why am I doing this? Who am I trying to prove something to? This is not your passion, teaching. Is your passion. Coaching others and mentoring them is what you love. Why are you not doing that? And so that was really what propelled me into— but it was like I had to have crisis. Jen, you really had to choose that for yourself. Okay, I'll have grace and compassion for the fact, and I'm grateful that I don't have any residual, uh, you know, wow, inabilities to do things.

Yeah. So that was how you found your awakened moment.

You know, it didn't happen at the same time I chose to go to someone as a mentor, but I— but yes, I think that was— now that I look back at it, I didn't know what the heck was happening back then, but now that I look back at it with awareness, I'm like, oh, that showed up and manifested itself because I was not listening to my intuition that was telling me, no, not this path, this one. And so finally, you know, it was like, okay, well Well, physical illness, right? You'll make time for your wellness now, right?

Wow. Wow. That is cool. So, so tell me a little bit more about what Jen does. So I know you're not on— like, how long were you on the floor as a nurse?

So I worked in the ICU setting for 6 and a half years as a bedside nurse, and then I spent another year as an educator of ICU, but also sharing staffing. And then I worked in a procedural sedation nurse role in special procedures and radiology. So probably for about 11 years of my career, I did some type of bedside care for patients.

Okay, very cool. So I love that. And I love that you have the science to back up everything that you're saying, because most people go, all that woo-woo stuff doesn't go hand in hand with science. That's what a lot of people say, you know. So how do you— how are you able to allow it to go hand in hand with the Reiki? You know, the spirituality and with the science, you know, how do you allow it all to blend and work so seamlessly together?

You know, people need to feel safe, and part of the safety is understanding things. And so we have to be able to logically understand. It may not all make sense, right? But at least we can speak to that part of it. If we're all woo-woo and we're just sitting in meditation all the time, then, you know, people are like, what are you doing? Right? And yeah, it doesn't make sense. And so that's the beauty of this is I have both, right? I can speak to both of it, but it's really just by allowing people to ask questions and then being able to answer them in an honest, authentic way. Yeah, I don't— I mean, I don't pretend to have all the answers to everything. There's certain things that I'm really good with and there's certain things I'm still learning. But I don't have a problem in telling that, and I'm not ever going to tell somebody that their beliefs are wrong or right, right? It's just what they choose to believe. But I can meld the two, give them examples. Like you spoke of Joe Dispenza, beautiful example of the power of healing, yeah, intention, and just what he recreated his spine, right? I mean, yeah, through intention, and he's completely not paralyzed anymore. So there's so many examples of that. So I did the work on myself I understood it logically because I had to. I'm a nurse. I perform an intervention, I expect an outcome. Like, that's my method.

Yeah.

So I need to understand the why behind what I'm doing and what's going on. And it makes people feel safer so that they choose to say, okay, this is not so scary anymore, weird.

Yeah.

And I— that's something I'm grateful for because I'm like, you know, I'm so logical, but at the same time, it's like I'm such an empath, and I know and understand what people are going through. I'm not judging them. It's your story and your path, and, you know, we're just here to give each other a hand out and say, it's okay, get up, you're loved, you're worthy, you took a step, you didn't fail.

Absolutely. One thing that I noticed about you, and it's almost like in every, every correspondence we've ever had, and even on here, that you're so sincere and like You always say, you know, thank you. And I'm so grateful. And like, I really feel that about you and everything. Like, I feel like you feel so grateful just about your whole journey. Like, like I, like it's an honesty and a sincerity in you. And I just, I just feel that, you know, I love that about you. So Jen, will you share with my audience how you work with your people? I know when you talk about your Facebook group, I know it's for nurses, but Just share with us.

It's not just for nurses.

Oh, okay, okay.

That's just who I am. I am the Awaken Nurse. Okay, right. Um, so I want to make that clear that it's for anybody who's seeking support and help. I may not be the one to help you, that's okay, right? There's tons of different coaches out there and they're specific for who they need to serve, and you'll find each other if you keep looking. But I specifically do one-to-one coaching right now with people on the totality. You know, we can't just think positive. We can't just do one part of this energetic wheel, which is beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and actions. We have to examine all of them because they all feed off of each other. We go back to that core belief. I use the Ho'oponopono prayer, which I don't know if you've heard of that before.

I have heard of it. Yeah.

It's, it's super powerful. It's one of the tools that used— that I use with eczema. And I see immediate results with the people that I work with within a week or so of them consistently doing this tool, because it's a clearing tool and we don't have to even mean it. And that's the beautiful thing.

Oh, you can just say it, not even mean it.

Yep, that's the thing. We're just speaking it into existence, right? It's, it's an affirmation, but it's deeper than that. Okay. And I, I work with them on that, teach them how to use that. And then I'm also— I also teach Reiki. Right? So I teach other people how to take these modalities, work within themselves, and use the energy to connect and then heal themselves through that. And they can become practitioners as well if they choose to do that. I'm working on a group coaching program right now because I just know the benefits of how important it is to not feel alone in what we're going through, to have connection, community, and we get to also support each other through it.

Right.

And that is so important to us getting back to understanding that we're not separate from each other. We're truly all connected.

Yeah, I love that.

Stories, right?

Yeah, yeah, I love that. I— it, it— when you talk and when you tell your story, it seems like you have gone through more than a reinvention, like you have actually been reborn. Do you feel like you've been like a whole rebirth, a reborn again kind of thing.

This was the lifetime that it was the purpose of, right? Yeah, it's time. It's time for all of us to heal, but it's through self-worth. And yes, you're right, I— it's, it's, it's being reborn, but it's, it's also just remembering who I've always been.

Yeah.

And that's really the thing. There's— we just have to remember who we've always been.

It's true. Before the world told you who you should be.

Amen. Yeah, babies, babies aren't coming out of the womb with their middle finger up telling everybody to go fuck off, right? So true. It's this, it's this patterns and conditioning and belief that happen. And there's no judgment on the people who place that. And that's the beauty of this work, is, is that we can have compassion for the place we were in when we made those choices and why we did. Imagine the space we can hold for everybody else and what true healing and true connection that is, no matter what it is. And you're right, it— there's no bragging or braggadocious behavior here. I, I truly am this person and I truly love myself, and I'm just wanting to help other people remember that they're worth it too, and they've always been.

Boom, that's a mic drop.

What it's like to go through that stuff, right? We know what it's like to not feel that.

Yeah, I love that. Well, just on a final note, Jen, what is your preferred method of how you would love people to connect with you?

So the best way to find me is on Facebook. My business page is called The Awakened Nurse, and then I have a group called The Awakened Nurse Collective, and I would love anyone who wants to join that. Every week I show up and I do teachings just like this on different topics— guilt, shame, fear of failure, expectations, boundaries— to help you give the tools to start making these shifts in your life right now, with the most important thing to remember: that you're loved, you're worthy of that love, and you've never ever not been. Time to remember, time to heal. I am so grateful, Travia Steward, for this experience and this opportunity to share this message of love that so many need to hear right now.

Boom. Jen, this has been my honor. I mean, this has been so incredible. I have loved every moment of this, honestly. Like, I really hope this is not the last time we have a conversation. So this has been really, really good. Thank you for this.

Thank you so much.

Absolutely. I feel like you have provided so much value for me, much less for my audience. You provide a lot of value for me. I'm going to do that— how do you say it again? The hoka— hoka what?

Ho'oponopono. I'll send it to you.

Please send it to me. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, hoka what? Ho'oponopono.

Okay, yes, I work on that ancient Hawaiian clearing tool. That's all you need to know.

There we go. I love that, love that. Okay, perfect, perfect. Okay, thank you, Jen. If you like what you're hearing and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviestewart.com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.