Ep 71: Unlocking your power with the Spirit Doctor Kelle Sparta

You are listening to episode number 71 with Kelly Sparta.

If you're someone who wants to make major changes in their life, someone who wants to achieve their goals, or maybe you're someone who knows this is not as good as it gets but you have no idea where to start, on the Reinvent You podcast, we explore different types of people, their successes and failures, and how they reinvented themselves to create the life they love.

It's our hope that from hearing their stories, that you too may have more insight into what it takes to build a life that you envision for yourself.

Here to help you do that is performance and life coach Travia Steward.

Today on the Reinvent You Podcast, I am joined by a transformational shaman, right? She's a spirit doctor, and that is actually her trademark name, her title, Spirit Doctor. She's a transformational shaman, a psychic, a medium, a channel, an empath, and an energy healer. She specializes in helping spiritual people claim their space, set boundaries, and own their power, and learn to fully love themselves. If you've ever felt like you weren't good enough, she's the person to talk to. Kelly is here to share, to share her journey of reinvention from her first Saturn return with us today., and you will learn what a Saturn return means on the podcast. So stay tuned, you don't want to miss one minute of this valuable knowledge. So ladies and gentlemen, with me on the Reinvent You podcast today is a transformational shaman, right? A shaman.

Oh my God, I'm so excited to talk to a shaman.

Kelly Sparta, welcome to the Reinvent You podcast.

Thank you. That's probably the most excited invitation I've ever heard. So thank you.

You are totally welcome. And let me tell you the reason why. Like, do you know who Jim Fortin is?

No. Okay.

Well, he is, you know, he does a lot of, you know, thought reversals and stuff. And he always talks about, oh, I spoke to my shaman and my shaman gave me all of the advice that I needed to. And then, you know, he had these heart problems. He's like, well, my shaman said, just take this medicine for 3 weeks. And then, I was fine. I was like, but your doctor said take it for 12 weeks, you know? So I'm like, transformational shaman. So I'm so intrigued by this. So before we dive into what that is, let's give us a little bit of context as to who Kelly Sparta is. What has been her journey to this transformational Sparta?

Oh, so well, so, um, I think probably the best place to start is, is in my crib, unfortunately. My mother said I was talking to ghosts in my crib. And so I have been doing this since I was not old enough to talk yet. And my mother raised me in the New Age movement. So I was raised on Seth and Ram Dass and Abraham Hicks and J.C. Knight, and you name it. We had, you know, I'm old, so we had cassette tapes of everything. Um, and I can't even remember all the people that we listened to. Basically, our entire lives were either with our nose in a book or the tape playing in the background while we were doing whatever we were doing, right? And so I learned how to do self-hypnosis by the time I was 10. I learned how to read tarot cards by the time I was 12. I was doing psychic development classes throughout my teen years, um, and I ended up being a Reiki master. I took a, took a break Um, I got married to a man who was an atheist, and so— whoa, okay, okay— I, I took a break because he was not into it. Um, and, uh, in the process of deciding to get a divorce, I also, you know, found my spiritual roots again 7 years later and, um, and got my Reiki master in the late '90s and Um, got my shiatsu certification at the same time. And, um, I then— so funny story, of course, at the house that I bought after I sold the— my marital house was a house that was across from a Revolutionary War massacre site in Groton, Connecticut. It's right across from Fort Griswold, in case you live in Connecticut. Okay. And The land there was very interesting, and the house was haunted, and that was fun. And I was taking psychic classes at the time still, and, and I came to my teacher, I was like, oh my God, my house is haunted, the ghost is shaking my bed, what do I do? Oh no, it was my, it was my Reiki master teacher, that's who I asked, it was my Reiki master teacher. And, um, and she's like, tell it to stop. Tell him it's your house and I went, oh, okay. And I did. I ended up having this conversation with this ghost who was one of the soldiers. And, um, you know, he just wanted somebody to know he was there and talk to him. And as long as I talked to him regularly, he didn't shake my bed. He shook my bed when I stopped talking to him. I'm like, okay, I'm going to bed now, but I'll talk to you in the morning. And then he would stop. It was like, it was this bizarre relationship. So, um, and then shortly thereafter I ended up meeting a bunch of people at the Renaissance Renaissance Fair. And they— so I had worked in the Renaissance Fair in Southern California when I lived there, right? And so I hopped in and met all of these people and started going to their house on a regular basis. And that's what brought me into the pagan community, because they were pagan. And what I didn't realize at the time is that they were all shamans. Okay, so I ended up moving up and living with them. Now, this was the first great reinvention. I was 28 years old, right?

Right, right.

For my first Saturn return, for those of you who are aware of that, that process, every 28 years Saturn comes back to the place that it started in your birth chart. And every 28 years there's a massive upheaval in your life, usually a chance to reinvent yourself entirely. And Chiron return is like that as well. That's usually every 50 to 51 years. But the Saturn return is the most significant. The Saturn— the second Saturn return is usually what people refer to as your midlife crisis, which happens when you're 56. Um, and so I had my early midlife crisis. I divorced my husband, I sold my house, I sold my business, I moved out of state and started living in a hippie pagan commune with a bunch of shamans. Basically what happened was I, I had, I had followed the American dream. I had done the checklist. I had the big house, I had the dog, I had the trophy husband, I had a business that was successful. I was a pillar of my community. I was, I was president of a Habitat affiliate, Habitat for Humanity affiliate, and everything in my life was successful and I hated my life.

Right.

And I was like, I felt lied to by the American dream because I had gotten everything that the American dream said you should have, right? And I hated it. And so I just razed it to the ground, just knocked it completely down and moved out and went and lived in one bedroom of a 6-bedroom Victorian house with a bunch of people I met at the Renaissance Faire. My, my business partner at the time said that I'd run off and join the circus, and he wasn't wrong. So, um, that, that entered the 4-year process that I would live in that house where I would do an intense amount of work on myself and be the healer as well for the other members of the house. And so as a group, we went through this, this healing process together. And at the end of that 4 years, uh, I would try to move out and find another house to live in and fail. I made application after application, and instead what happened was I had told my roommate that I was going to be out at the end of December And then I couldn't find a place to live, and I tried to extend, and he's like, no, you said you were going to be out, you got to go. And I'm like, okay. And so I threw all my stuff in storage and ended up living a different night on each person's couch. I had been running a teaching circle, so I was like high priestess for this teaching circle. And so each one of my students would have me on one night of the week at their house. So, you know, Mondays were at one person's, Tuesdays were at another. And I did that for about 4 months, 5 months. And then I was supposed to go to an event in— I was supposed to go to a, uh, a festival. And I was working for a medium at the time as his registration person. And I told him, I said, I don't think I'm gonna come back. From the festival. And he said, um, he's like, I'm not going to be talking to you on the other side, am I? And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, right? Kind of, I'm not going to come back. But I said, but I just, I feel like I'm moving or something. I just, I just don't feel like I'm coming back. I don't know why. I can't explain it. I just, you shouldn't count on me coming back because, you know, I was working for him. I didn't want to leave him in the lurch, right? Now, in the interim, uh, a friend of mine was talking to me about the— uh, no, we're not going to tell that part of the story yet. So in the interim, uh, I was at an event that he was holding, the guy I was working for, and I'm working registration, and the cops come in and somebody's broken into my car. And they've stolen my laptop worth maybe $50 because it had been a hand-me-down from a friend who had bought it like 8 years before, right? Okay. And so, you know, laptop's 8 years old, worth about $50, right? Right. So now what I didn't realize is that I had replacement insurance on it, and he had bought it for his business. And so when I asked him for the receipt, he had access to it. He was like, here's the receipt. And he had bought it as top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art at the time he bought it. Because he worked in computers, right? And so I gave the receipt to them and they gave me $1,793 for my laptop that was worth $50.

Oh nice!

Paid off my car because I had like just under $800 that I was— that I owed on it, and gave me money in my bank account to get me started on my journey.

Yeah.

And so I, in the course of the next month or so, I would go into a friend of— which one of my my friend's bathrooms while I was staying with her and opened to a random page in a book called Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions, right? And it was— I opened to a random page that said, the apprentice shaman, just before his final initiation, will give away everything he owns. Now, a week before I read this, I had scheduled to have all my friends come to my storage unit where all my stuff was, to come and take anything they wanted. And the only deal was that they had to help me haul away whatever was left to give it to Goodwill or St. Vincent de Paul or wherever we took it. And, um, and so I'd already scheduled my giveaway, right? And so I'm like, a friend of shaman initiation What the fuck, right? Really? What's a shaman? I didn't know, right? I had no idea. I'm like, what's a shaman, right? So I did a little research and learned what a shaman was and didn't have any idea, whatever. 'Cause of course, none of the shamans I lived with had added themselves as shamans. 'Cause one of the rules of shamanism is you don't tell anybody. It's like Fight Club. You don't tell anybody you're a shaman.

Oh, I see.

I get shit from people all the time for saying I'm a shaman. And I apologize, I'm cussing like a mad woman. I hope that's okay.

It's okay.

All right. But I do, I take a lot of flak for that, but I tell everybody the same thing. When they give me a hard time about it, it's like, yes, if you are living in a tribal culture where everyone knows, one, what a shaman is, two, who the shaman is, there's absolutely no reason why you would ever say you were a shaman except out of ego. However, we don't live in that culture. I don't live in that culture. Many people have no idea what a shaman is, and they certainly wouldn't know that I was one by knowing me unless I open my mouth and tell them. And so I feel absolutely no remorse about doing so because that is not ego on my part. That's service, right? If I don't teach you what a shaman is and what you need from a shaman, what a shaman does for you, then how are you going to know? And if I don't tell you that I'm a shaman, how do you know that I can help you?

Right.

You know, that's, that's been my approach. So they never told me. I had to figure it out later.

Yeah.

And so So I ended up on this journey, and there's— it's a whole long story that, that, you know, I don't know if you— I don't know how long this is. Do we? I don't even know if we have time for it. You asked me one question and I'm off on a roll.

Yes, you are, which I love. I love— we try to keep it under an hour because that's been the feedback.

It's good to know. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, um, but there was a whole long journey that took place in there, and ultimately I ended up discovering that, um, I, I did not go back after that festival. I went to that festival and I ended up following someone I met at the festival home to their home thinking I was moving. And I got there at 5 o'clock in the morning, went, oh, this isn't home. Ah, crap, I'm on walkabout. Now if you, if you don't know the term walkabout, it's an Aboriginal term from Australia which basically means to walk out into the, to the world until you find yourself. And most people think of it as being in the outback of Australia, but that's because that's where the Aboriginals live and that's their world.

Okay.

But I did mine in the US in my car because that's how we live. Right, right. And so I gave away everything I owned except for my car and my clothes and like, you know, a couple of things here and there and everything else was gone. And I lived on $350 a month of unemployment insurance and the kindness of strangers for the next year. And so that's— and every place I went led me to the next place.

Right.

So I would go someplace and they would say, oh, you need to go too. And I would go there. Oh, you need to go too. And I would go there.

Yeah.

And so it just led me step by step down that path.

Wow. So I would really love to go back to— because what is on my mind is when you were talking to ghosts in your crib. Like, how, how did you even go, this is a gift? Because I'm gonna tell you right now, Kelly, if there was something shaking this door and I'm the only one home and my dog wasn't doing it, I might run through the window. Yeah, you know, or through the wall or something. I just don't know that I know. I do know. I don't think I'm that kind of person who welcomes that. Is that why they stay away?

Um, no, not necessarily.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah. So my mother was psychic in her youth, and she was scared of it, and she shut it down. And so, you know, I can hear people who are— have passed over. And they talk to me. And, you know, you could be standing in the same room with me if you don't have your psychic skills turned on, and you wouldn't hear them, right? So it's rare to have a ghost that actually can have a physical impact on the world. Those are called poltergeists, and usually they're angry spirits. The one that I happened upon in my house in Connecticut was not, thankfully, because I was not in a position to be able to get rid of them. Right, you know. Um, but, uh, the— a ghost is— if you think about a ghost, they're just a person who's on the other side of the veil, you know. Right. That's, that's all a ghost is, you know. There are other things that are actually scary on the other side of the veil, but ghosts are generally not one of them unless they're angry or they're in a ghost with a child ghost and they're protecting the child. They can be scary because they get very aggressive, just like a mother does, an animal mother does with her child, whether or not the child is theirs.

So, Kelly, you raised my blood pressure.

You asked. Oh, I did.

And now I'm like, you know, I mean, I'm so curious. And part of this is I'm curious about it And then I'm also a little frightened by it. I'm a lot frightened by it. How can someone like me feel better? Like, for instance, like I was in Rocky Point, Mexico, and I don't know if you can see this.

It's a little skull. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd never worn anything like that. There was a guy that we bought something from on the beach and I was like, ooh, why are you wearing that skull? You know, Day of the Dead kind of thing. And he explained it and he said, and he's like, and then the next day he came back. He said, this is a gift for you. And he said, you know, he gave me this whole spiel about, you know, what it represented to him. And I was like, okay, I should embrace that fear of the other side of all the things that we're talking about right now. So today is the first day I've worn it.

Ah.

And I was like, this could be a good day to wear it with Kelly. And so I did. And so Kelly, you're in your crib, you're going through these things, you're hearing voices. When did you know? Because you don't know when you're in a crib what that is. When did you realize that you had this special ability and what was happening?

So it came in stages. Okay. Okay. You know, there were a variety of different weird things over the course of the years. I mean, I remember seeing a ghost. So now I'm blind as a bat without my glasses or contacts. And I woke up in the middle of the night when I was in my teens, and there was a guy who looked like an 1800s prospector standing over my bed. And that'll freak you out a little bit. Yeah. And I went, ah! And he disappeared from the waist up, and so he only left his legs there. That's even creepier, right?

Yeah.

And so I'm like, go away! And I'm like, I could still see your legs. And now I could see him clear as day, no glasses, no contacts, right?

Okay.

And I was like, I could still see your legs. And then he disappeared entirely. I'm like, don't let me see you again. And he just, just went away, right? I never saw him again. But, um, you know, I, I had a boyfriend who was in Hawaii when I was in California, and One day, out of a deep sleep, I woke up because I could swear I heard my name right in my ear with a full voice. And I woke up and I knew it was him, but he wasn't there. He was in Hawaii. And I just called him up. I said, did you just call my name? He said, yeah, I really did. He said, I was sitting on the beach and I was thinking about you and I thought about saying your name. And I said, I heard it clear as day. Terrified. Yeah. And so, you know, little things that happened. Um, you know, breadcrumbs that, that get— are indicators, right?

Um, like actual breadcrumbs or just incidents? Is that a metaphor?

Incidences. Okay. Yeah, it's a metaphor. It's a metaphor.

I was like, are they breadcrumbs?

No, not actual breadcrumbs. Okay.

Okay.

And, um, and then it was actually after the divorce. It was— I was going to a spiritualist church at the time, and, uh, I was taking my shiatsu class And a friend of mine was running the— he ran a metaphysical sort of 2-hour class series that he would have different speakers come in and speak for. Okay. And it was, you know, it was on Tuesdays. And Tuesday afternoon he calls me, he's like, oh my God, my speaker for tonight is sick, can you fill in? And I'm like, uh, I've never taught a 2-hour course in my life, I don't know what I would fill in on. And I'm like, well, I'm taking a shiatsu class, I could teach you everything I know about shiatsu. I said, that might be 2 hours, I don't know. And he's like, great, let's do it. So I came in and I taught an hour and a half of class, and I ran out of everything I knew about shiatsu.

Wow.

And I went, okay, I've got nothing else. Anybody got questions? And they were like, no. And my friend said, well, why don't you do readings for everybody? Now, I was comfortable doing readings with tarot cards at the time, but I didn't have tarot cards with me, and I was unprepared to do a cold read. I'd never done a cold read in my life that I was aware of. And I don't know if you're familiar with the Spiritualist Church, but they do mediumship from the pulpit. So that's part of their service. And so every time there would be a reading that somebody would get from the pulpit, I would get extra information, and I would just go and share it with them at the Coffee Clash. And so my friend knew this about me, and he had had me tell him things before. And he was like, oh, you know, why don't you just do readings? I'm like, I don't do that. He's like, yeah, you do it all the time. I'm like, no, like, it's one thing to just give you what I get. It's another thing to perform on demand. And, and they were all like, oh, that'd be great, that'd be fun, yeah. And I was like, okay. Finally I admitted that I would do it. I said, okay, fine, I'll do it, but it's with the understanding that absolutely everything that comes out of my mouth is probably wrong. So I gave myself permission to be wrong. And they went, okay. And, and I, I will tell you that I do readings now and I almost never remember anything I've said. Because I'm, I'm mostly channeling them, right? I'm just like, I'm, I'm having conversations with my guides and they're telling me what to say and I just say it, right? But this particular one freaked me out so bad. I remember all the readings I did because it was, it was the moment I proved to myself that I was psychic because I got things right about people I had never met before. And things that there was no indicators for, right? I knew somebody was a sole caretaker for a sick family member. I knew somebody was a house painter. I knew somebody was— that they were having marital difficulties with their husband who was not in the room. So it's not like I could read that, right? You know, I looked because I'm really observant. I was like, okay, maybe I just picked this up in cues other places. No, right? I could not find anything that would indicate And I knew that the— I described a woman that was one of the guy's ex-wives who had recently recontacted him after 25 years, you know. And I described her and said that she was in the picture and whatnot. So there was like a whole list of things. And even one of the guys, I looked at him and I got nothing. And he said, do not judge your abilities based on me. He said, I've been to world-class psychics and they can't tell me anything. It is not you. And I go, huh, I wonder why that is. And I went back in time and I saw when he was 5 years old and how he had set the shield up and exactly what he had done. And why he had done it. And I didn't say the why because that wasn't mine to share, but I said, here's, here's how you set this up in case you'd ever like to take it down. And he was floored because nobody had ever given him even that much information. And so, you know, that was my moment where I, where I proved to myself that I could do it.

Got it. Wow.

Yeah.

Okay. Wow. Thank you so much for that. So now that we've been throwing around the word shaman like psychic. And I know that there are differences, but what would you say if, you know, for context, what is a transformational shaman and how does that help? Like, like, because, you know, but before we're done, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you for a reading, right?

Okay.

Okay.

Yes, yes, perfect.

But let's figure out, like, so, so what is a transformational shaman and how do you help people in their everyday lives? With that?

Okay, great question, because if you ask 100 shamans what a shaman is, you'll get 100 answers, just so you know. Um, and a transformational shaman is a very specific type. It's, uh, you know, I'll tell you what we're not because that'll, that'll be helpful. We don't do ayahuasca journeys, which is becoming for some reason synonymous with the word shaman these days, and that's totally not true. Uh, but we don't do those. We don't do sweat lodges. We don't do firewalks. We don't do a lot of the traditional shamanic stuff that traditional shamans do. What we do is we use shamanic techniques, healing techniques, transformational techniques, ritual techniques to facilitate personal transformation. So I like to say that we exist where, where personal growth intersects magic. Okay, okay. Because that's where transformation exists, is in that center of that Venn diagram where personal growth overlaps energy. Okay, if you want to think about it as energy instead of magic because that's a less fraught word for you, that's fine. They're the same thing in my book. That's what I'm talking about— metaphysics, energy work, magic. They're all the same thing in my world. Okay, um, there are synonyms, uh, with different backgrounds, right?

Right.

But, um, so what we do is I help people that are the wounded well, if you think about it that way.

Okay.

Okay. Um, people who have done some therapy, they're functional in their lives, they've, they've gotten most of their life to work, but they're not happy. They're still dealing with anxiety and worry and dread and self-doubt and inner and outer judgments and this sense of never being good enough and always trying to, to be perfect so that they can be loved, right? Yeah, those are my peeps, and I help those people to claim their space and set their boundaries and own their power and internalize their sense of value and learn to love themselves. And in doing so, they solidify their energetic container to make themselves— and they make themselves feel safe so they can feel safe and reduce their stress levels dramatically. Right?

Okay.

And, and they also dig out the buttons and the triggers that send them flying, right?

Right.

So I, I like to, to joke with people, although it's not actually a joke, and I like to say, you know, when you finish the, the first part of the process with me, you— all your baggage will be neatly labeled and carry-on sized, right? It's It gets your baggage, your emotional baggage, down to a manageable amount, right? Right. Okay. So that it no longer runs you, that you are now in possession of it and not subject to it.

Okay.

And then you can work through the rest of it as you go, right?

Yeah.

So, wow.

Okay.

So you think about your spiritual journey, it's, it's like a spiral, and your issues are like spokes that go across the spiral. Okay, so let's say you've got dad issues, right? Here's your spoke on the spiral. When you first hit it, you're on the outside and you go, and you work through it, you're like, okay, I'm done with that. And then you come around and you hit it again, you go, I thought I did this, what's wrong with me? Yeah, it's— you get pissed off and then you work through it again, you're like, okay, I'm done. Then you keep going. Eventually you start to see that spoke and you start to go, oh, hello, old friend. What do you have to teach me today?

Right, right.

Because each spoke represents a teacher, something that teaches you a deeper level of yourself. I see. Yeah, yeah.

Huh.

Yeah.

Wow, that is so cool. So when you talk about energy work, what is the importance? Like, like, what does that mean, energy work? Because when I think about it, I'm like, oh, I do breathwork sometimes, or I raise my energy, I make sure people aren't coming into my life who are going to suck me of energy, right? How are you using energy work here?

So when we talk about energy work, there's a wide variety of forms that that takes. So let me just start with that. But ultimately, when you're dealing with a transformational process, what you're doing is you're— you know how people talk about raising their vibration?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the act of raising your vibration permanently is personal transformation. Okay, when you literally change how you see yourself, right? It's not personal growth because personal growth is skill building. You learn skills to be able to create coping mechanisms to deal with how you're feeling, right? Personal transformation changes how you see those things in the first place, so you don't need coping mechanisms to deal with them because they don't bother you anymore. You literally do not have the same reaction.

Got it.

Okay, and so that's the difference. But in order to do that kind of work, you have to go through a process of ego death that usually scares the crap out of people, right? So, uh, because in order for you to see the world differently and to become a different person, the person that you were before dies off. Mm, right. And so your ego fights against it because your ego has its own survival mechanism. Okay. And so that process, if it's engaged in a healthy way, can provide you with a stepping stone to regularly uplevel your vibration.

I see.

Okay. Now I say when it's dealt with in a healthy way because there are a lot of places where they don't do it in a healthy way. Yeah, they will use the work, the vulnerability that a student gives, and use it against them and create a hierarchical structure. So I, I don't normally talk about this, but for some reason I'm feeling like I need to, so I'm gonna do it here. Do it. Um, so if you look at the organization that you're considering joining and there is a strict hierarchy and someone is the guru, right? And there is this talk of you have to earn it and you have to do that. That is usually where they will use your vulnerability against you. Okay. Okay. What you want is an organization that talks about you developing your own personal power and becoming someone independent of them.

Right.

That is what the goal should be if they are looking to actually help you grow as a person. And so, you know, for instance, I tell my students, I'm like, by the end of the third program in the series, the goal is that you will not need me anymore, right? I'm here as a touchstone. You're welcome to come back. You're not like persona non grata, but you, you shouldn't need me anymore, right? Because you will have all the skills you need to continue your personal growth process. Going forward for the rest of your life. And that's my goal, is to empower others to be able to do that. And if they stay for the next half of the course, they can learn how to do what I do, right? And if it is— one of the most disorienting things for my students as they come up in through that second part of the process is that I, over time, I start treating them more and more like an equal, and they get really disoriented by that. They're like, but no, but you're the teacher. I'm like, but no, you're coming up, and this is your, your this, you're coming up to meet me, and this is the level that you get to be at now because you're coming up to meet me. And when you get all the way through, we're going to be equals, and that's how this is going to be. And they're like, but, but what? But you're my shaman, right? Yeah, but I'll always be their shaman. That's fine. But I'm going to treat them as an equal because they will have earned it, right? They will have been through— they've done their work, they've worked their way through it, they've, they've gotten to the level where they have mastered the skills, and I trust them to be able to hold the space consistently for others. And that's what it takes to be a shaman, is I have to be able to trust you to hold space safely and consistently for others. And so, you know, that's, you know, I'm always there for them as their, as their mentor, but, you know, they've earned the, the role of shaman at that point.

Yeah, perfect, perfect.

Yeah.

So When people keep coming around to that same spoke and again, right, do you— is that stuck trauma?

Yeah, usually.

Okay. So is there anything like, let's say, you know, someone's listening right now to this podcast and they're going, yeah, I keep reliving this one thing. Is there any technique that you could share with us? Something quick, you know, that they could go, boom, I took this away from Kelly Sparta and this works. For me.

So let me say this: if you're actively reliving a trauma, that's not something you should go to a shaman for. That's something you should go to a therapist for. And typically somebody who does trauma-based therapy like EMDR therapy is really good for active trauma. If you are going back into the experience and having the experience over and over again, that is something you go to psychotherapy for. Now the one thing that a shaman can do for you in that scenario is called Soul Retrieval. Because typically what happens, the reason we get stuck in that place energetically, is that we leave a piece of our spirit in that experience because we couldn't integrate it in the moment. And so we leave a piece of ourselves back there, which is what calls us back to it over and over again, trying to integrate it. Right now, the challenge— and here's, here's the thing— the challenge is that when you call the spirit home, you have to be prepared to integrate integrate the experience. And if you're not prepared to integrate the experience, then doing a soul retrieval could actually be damaging to you. Okay, so, you know, this is again where you have to be really careful who you work with, because if they are attached to being able to heal you and heal everyone for their own ego trip, right, which happens, right, then you know, you're— you could end up damaged by that process. Okay. Um, so you want to be careful. I usually recommend that people go to therapy for active trauma. Now, for not active trauma, which non-active trauma would be, I have the same relationship over and over again, and it's just like the relationship my parents had, or it's just like the relationship I had with one of my parents or both of my parents, right?

Right.

That's non-active trauma spoke on the wheel. Right? So, um, you know, my— let's say the issue is, uh, your father was emotionally absent, maybe even physically absent, right? Maybe your parents were divorced and your dad disappeared on you, right?

Right.

Um, and I tell you this because that's my story, so it's an easy one to pull up, right? Um, and so, you know, in that scenario, what you'll what you'll manifest are men who are emotional partners, depending on your, your orientation, who are emotionally unavailable and/or physically absent. And so in my scenario, guess who I married? I married a submariner who was out to sea for months at a time. Oh, right.

Yeah.

It was also very not verbal about anything. Right. Uh, so, you know, these are the things that we do. We, we re— we we recreate the lives that we are comfortable with, right? The experiences that we're comfortable with. There's actually a great book called, uh, Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix. Yeah, yeah, I know, I have that. Go therapy. Great book, right? Um, but in this scenario, the key is to recognize that You— so part of it is about learning. This is a complex one. I should have picked an easier one. This is a complex one. But, um, part of it is about recognizing that you deserve better. Now, in order to recognize that you deserve better, you have to admit that you deserve to take up space in your own life, which most of my people don't have that. They, they're empaths. They've learned to be a reflection of everyone around them and not actually themselves. And so in many cases, they don't have a clue how to be somebody that isn't that, because that was never an option. Right. That was part of what my walkabout was for, was for me to figure out where I ended and other people began and who I was in the absence of anybody else. Right. And so, you know, that there's a whole journey there. Right. But let me, let me talk about being an empath. Actually, that's going to be the easiest, fastest, quick giveaway for you guys.

Got it.

If you're an empath, now being an empath means you feel what other people feel. It's hard for you to be in a crowd because you feel overwhelmed. You have a hard time being in relationship and breaking up. You get stuck in relationships, even if you know they're bad, because you, you just can't, can't break up. It's— you're like stuck, right? You have a hard time, uh, if you do break up with somebody or they break up with you, you have a hard time getting over it. You're constantly reinvesting in that and so on. There's, um, you feel drained by other people often.

Yeah.

You, you have to run away a lot and hide and like just hope for the recovery, right? Um, so there's, there's a whole list of things that, that make you an empath. If any of those sounded familiar to you, you're probably an empath. So the first rule is of empaths is the reason you're able to monitor everyone in the room and what they're feeling is because you have shoved your energy field out to the edges of the room or the building, or some people even further, right? And therefore everyone is actually inside your energy field. And that's why you know how they, how they're feeling, is because their field is inside of yours. Now, needless to say, that's not really healthy for you, right? Because that means you have no defenses against anybody else's emotions. Now, it makes perfect sense that you would do that as a child if you felt unsafe, which is how empaths are created, is you felt unsafe in your childhood environment on a regular basis. This is a natural defense mechanism that, that conscious people choose in their very young lives to be able to monitor the world around them. And so, uh, the very first rule there is to pull your energy field in. Okay, now I have to warn you, it's going to feel scary because that's your passive monitoring system, right? And when you pull it back, it's like losing a sense. You're like— it's like you suddenly can't see anymore, you can't hear anymore, you just— you're losing a sense. However, the benefit is that shielding now will actually work. So if you're someone who likes to put up a shield, that will actually work. It won't work until you do that because people are already inside your field. So there's— they're going to be inside your shield when you set up the shield because it's always around— the shield is always around the outside of your energy field.

And so, so what does that mean, you know, pull back your energy field? Like, I just— I'm trying to rationalize it, make it make sense, but I don't really know what that means.

Okay, so close your eyes. We're going to do it right now, and your listeners can do it with us. Okay, so what we're going to do is I want you to reach out to the edge of your energy field. Now, wherever you think it is, that's exactly where it is, so don't question it. Just send out either your energy out to it, your awareness, your knowingness. If you're an auditory person, maybe you send out a little ping and you wait to hear where it bounces back. However it is that you need to find it, find it. Have you found yours?

Yes.

Okay, so now you're going to take and you're going to imagine that your arms extend out as far as it goes, and you're going to grab onto it, and you're going to breathe it in. And just keep— every time you breathe in, it gets closer and closer until it gets to within 18 inches of your skin. Foot and a half. Now, if you are listening to this in Latin America or in some Asian countries where the social space is much smaller, then you'll want to bring it in tighter than that. Okay, so, um, but within 18 inches of your skin. Okay, yeah, you've got it there, and I can tell because you're, you're a little distressed right now.

Okay.

Right, there's just this little sense of, I don't know what's going on, right? Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but you're also feeling more solid now, right? Denser is usually the term.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, denser, right? So this is how your energy is supposed to feel. This is where you have access to all of your energy and it's not being taken up up by monitoring other people. You are far more effective from this space because you have access to all of your energy and you're not being muddied by other people's energies. Okay, now know that you can still taste other people's energies, which is why I know you were feeling uncomfortable, because I could taste your energy and go, oh, she's feeling uncomfortable. You know, I can also see your energy field and I can see that that's collapsed down into that, that space. Now, by default, you will throw this right back out again the minute you stop paying attention, because, yeah, because that's, you know, this is how you've held it by default for a long time. So if you want to learn to hold your energy more solidly, which will make you safer, by the way, this will help you feel safer in your day-to-day life. I know it feels counterintuitive because you're not monitoring everybody, But there is a way in which, uh, when you monitor everyone in your environment all the time, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are unsafe.

Yeah.

And therefore you will believe that you are unsafe. When you pull your energy in and you have access to all of your energy and your boundaries are actually solid. Yeah. This is, this is not the boundary that you set saying don't come here any further. This is you set It's literally saying, this is the edge of me, right? I know where I end and other people begin. This is me and that is you. And I actually exist in my own world. I'm not subject to or a reflection of everyone around me. Energetically, there's a massive difference to that. Oh, I feel it right now, right?

Yeah.

And so for the next 6 to 8 weeks, if you want to solidify this, you're going to do this every time you think of it. Ideally, you'd set an alarm for every hour and you'd pull it in every hour. Okay. Right, because it takes a while to reestablish for your energy field that this is what you actually mean. Yes, I really mean it. Yes, I really mean it. Yes, I really mean it. Right. Yeah. And then eventually you'll get to the point where you check it and you're like, oh, it's already there, great. And then it's your default.

Okay.

Okay.

Wow, thank you for that.

Yeah. Oh, so if you, if you want more information about it, there's a download on my website that's free that you can get with all that, and plus a 45-minute coaching call if you stay on the mailing list. Oh my goodness, perfect. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

So Kelly, how do you use this work to help business owners?

So I use this work, it's so, it's so funny because entrepreneurs especially if you're a solopreneur. But even if you're not, even if you're running a— let's say you're running a medium, small to mid-sized business, right? Um, you are the business, right? Right.

Yeah.

And you create the energetic of the business. And especially if you're just an entrepreneur getting started, or a solopreneur who's been running for a while, and you— your energy is literally the energy of the business. Business. And especially for women, we tend to literally hold the energy of the business in our bodies. We tend to gestate it like a baby in our womb. And therefore, if the business gets to a certain point where it's big enough, you can't grow it past the point where your personal energy field can hold it unless you birth that baby, right? And so there's energetics to it. Right. And then there's also the belief structures, right? If you have a belief structure, if you're codependent by nature and you're an empath, you're going to have issues around, well, I can only charge as much as somebody can afford, or I have to give away everything so that you'll value me. Or, you know, there's, there's issues around, uh, I can't say no to a client even when they're being unreasonable. Or, you know, I can't say no to my staff because I want them to love me, right? There's, there's lots of pieces and parts that go into this, and there's additional issues— imposter syndrome, right? That's huge for people, right? You know, perfectionism leads to micromanagement or abdication of responsibility, one or the other, okay? And not, not effective supervision, which is what you're shooting for. Right? And then there's, there's pieces of the business itself. So for instance, I had a retail store back in the late '90s, and we set up energetic protections on the store to keep, keep things from disappearing— theft, you know, right, shoes, whatever, right? And a year and a half later, we did inventory for the first time, and we had $12 worth of loss. In 18 months, which I don't— it's insane.

Yeah.

Okay. And we were fairly certainly, certainly we certain that we had given it away, that $12. We just occasionally we would give things to people and not, and, and we'd write it down, but sometimes we'd forget to write it down. So we were fairly certain we gave that $12 away.

Yeah.

And so, you know, this is because we energetically set it up to be that way. Right? So you can do that with your business. You can set up your business energetically to bring in the right people. You can make— have negotiations with technology to bring the right people to your doorstep. You can, um, you know, set up your shop in such a way that, that your, uh, that you may have issues with infighting with staff, and you could set up the energetics of the space to dissipate issues of infighting. Okay, there's all kinds of— like feng shui, it's like feng shui, only it's an active energetic. Yeah, I see. Okay, wow.

Oh my goodness, Kelly, I could talk to you all day long.

Like, I just know we're running up against it.

I know we are. So since we are running up against it, yes, is this a good time to do my reading?

Sure.

Yes.

Okay, tell me to do— well, that's the question is what would you like to, to talk about?

My business. And your business, like, yeah, do I need to have a special, like, a specific question or—

so, so tell me what, what your business is.

So I'm a transformational life coach. A lot of the things that you're saying really resonate with me at the spokes. And, you know, I'm like, oh, those are re— you know, we recreate those experiences. And so, you know, I have a podcast, as you know, I want to be on stages. And so, you know, this is my second chapter that, you know, I am— really want to grow the business and to reach more people, you know, to help more people realize they don't have to settle for, you know, what work in that same job, you know, that kind of thing. And so just want people to realize they don't have to be the supporting actor in their life. They can be the lead role.

Okay. All right. So, um, so I can, I can take a look at probability lines for you looking forward, or, um, I can dive a little deeper, which will make you a little more vulnerable. And I don't know where you want to be on that. So, um, no, let's go, let's go dive.

Okay.

All right, all right. So if you have any shields up, just let me come through your shields. I'm gonna come in. Yeah, there she is.

Okay, do I need to close my eyes or anything?

No, just be still. Don't be distracted by whatever's around you. If you need to close your eyes to do that, that's fine. And I'm, I'm going to come in. I may tickle. Some people say they feel me and I tickle, so Okay, all right. So, um, so what I'm going to do is a light version of my business energy scan that usually takes like an hour. So I'm going to give you what's happening in your aura and one thing, because otherwise we're going to go way over. So, um, So the first thing I get is this sense of, um, some— as I drop into your aura, I get this sense of standing in this dark cavern. And I mean cavern because it's kind of like I can go, hello, and it goes, hello, hello, hello, into the sound, right? And it's this sense of feeling very small within a large space in which you can't see a lot around you.. And so my sense of this as I'm looking for you is that you're feeling like you're, you're a little overwhelmed with how much there is to do and which way to go and all of the different pieces and parts that could take you where you might want to work, right? And then it just feels overwhelming, yes, is the best word. So typically when a business owner is overwhelmed, the What that means is that their inner child is in the driver's seat. Okay, and go ahead and open your eyes so I can talk to you about this. Um, your inner child's in the driver's seat, and that— what that means is that, uh, you— when you grew up, you learned that, uh, nobody was coming to help, that you were going to have to do it all by yourself, and you were going to have to figure it out on your own because there wasn't going to be anybody helping you out. And so your inner child learned how to run the bus. They learn how to drive the bus, but they're not very good at it because they're like 4 or 5 years old. Okay. And so they spend a lot of their time being overwhelmed and terrified. Right. And so anytime you're feeling overwhelmed and terrified, especially around your business, the first thing you have to say is, oh, my, my inner child's in the driver's seat. Let me take them out of the driver's seat because I actually know how to drive the bus and they don't. Right. Right. And so the invitation is to imagine walking up to the bus of your business and looking at your child in the driver's seat and seeing how cute they are, right? Oh my God, their feet don't hit the pedals. They got their hands on this big steering wheel, but they can't see over the top of the dash. They're going vroom, vroom, vroom, right? You know, they're like playing with the gear shift and they don't know what it does, right? And you go, oh, you're so cute. So sweet. How you having fun? No, they're not having fun because they know they're supposed to be driving the bus and they know they don't know what they're doing and they're terrified they're going to crash and everybody's going to be mad at them. Right. And so you go, okay, well then how about you let me drive the bus? And they're like, they may or may not be happy about it. Okay. So in a lot of instances, we haven't been very kind to our inner because that— what that means is we haven't been very kind to ourselves. We're the bottom of our own priority list. Everything gets done for everyone else before anything gets done for us. And fun, that almost never happens, right? And so you may have to establish trust with your inner child before they'll let you get into the driver's seat.

Okay.

And so the invitation would be to have a series— what is going to likely be a series of conversations with your inner child, just establishing a relationship again, right? Okay. And so the key for you is going to be to get that child out of the driver's seat so that you can stand in there, because you're going to feel a lot more solid when you do that. Okay, you're going to feel a lot more competent when you do that. Mm-hmm. Okay, so that's issue number one. I'm going to come back in again. I'm going to ask my guides what the other piece is that we know. There we go. Okay, um, here we go. Fear of your own power. Okay, that's your other piece. So fear of your own power— in, uh, anytime you're dealing with somebody who's even remotely working in a spiritual field, which you are, uh, oftentimes there's a past life issue where you were killed for your gifts and you're afraid of being killed for them again. Um, let me see if I see that for you. Yeah, that's definitely there. Um, 3 times. Yeah. So, um, when we have that fear, the only way to get past that fear is to face the possibility that it could happen again and to just be like, yep, everybody's got to die. We all die sometime. Could be this way. I could die in a bus crash. I could die by drowning. I could die of a heart attack. I could die because somebody killed me for my gifts. It could happen. Yeah, see the look on your face? Are we talking literally? Literally. It's the only way to get past this particular fear. Okay, it's not likely, but you have to face the fear. Okay, you can't run from this fear. This fear will dog your heels. Okay, you have to turn and face it and say, yep, could happen. Okay, so, you know, it's the only way to get past it. Okay, and then the other pieces around owning your power are oftentimes we will restrict ourselves from having our power if we are very angry, and most of us who come out of these environments are very angry. We have a well of rage so wide and so deep, and God help you if you piss us off. Because we will just raze you to the ground, right? Just woof, right? And when you have that level of rage, ethical people will keep themselves from full access to their power because they don't want to have enough power that they could literally kill someone with their rage, and therefore they will restrict access to their power. And that's when doing the work on yourself to release the well, the store of rage, right? Because there's a, there's a well of rage that's in there. And then to unwind and untangle the stories that recreate the well, right? Because there's two pieces. There's the rage that's already there that's gone unexpressed and repressed. And then there, and that's the one that makes it go 0 to 150 in 5 seconds flat, right? And then there's the stories that create more rage. So you have to unwind both.

Okay.

And when you do that, that's when you will give yourself access to that power. Now, you may also have to give yourself some forgiveness. Most of us who are powerful people have managed to hurt somebody with that power at some point in time in our lives. Usually in adolescence, but not always. And we punish ourselves for the rest of our lives for it. And at some point you have to say, okay, how long have I been doing penance for this one thing? And maybe I deserve to be forgiven. Maybe I need to say the fact that I have never used this again in this time means that I'm responsible enough to hold it again.

Yeah.

Right? Because I gotta tell you, people who can't be trusted with their power don't care about punishing themselves. Okay?

Right.

You made a mistake. That's different than not being trustworthy with your power.

Okay.

Okay. So I told you. Yeah, I did say—

yeah, you did. You warned me. I did.

Wow. I gave fair warning. You did, you did.

Thank you, thank you so much for that. I appreciate such insight. Yeah, so Kelly, as we wrap it up, will you talk to my audience about your podcast? And then how is it that you work with, with people? How can they get in touch with you? All those great things.

Fantastic, I'm happy to do that. Um, so I— my website is kellysparta.com. It's K-E-L-L-E like you see on the screen. And my podcast is Spirit Sherpa, S-H-E-R-P-A. And so, which is— a Sherpa is like the guides that take you up the mountain in the Himalayas, right? Yeah. So it's— it's— the podcast is your guide to energy magic in the spirit world. So we talk about everything from, you know, how to cast a circle to, um, how to talk to your angels and your spirit guides to, you know, everything in between. And we also talk of specifically about empaths and how they, they, and their journey to healing, because, you know, my people are empaths. So, uh, the work that I do is, uh, I run a— the Sacred Power and Purpose Mystery School. Okay. And so that work starts with the program called Inner Peace 101, and that program is designed to help you find your emotional safety, because you can't grow until you have gotten to an emotionally safe place, because otherwise you'll defend against growth. Because by definition, growth is leaving your comfort zone. Yeah, if you're already feeling unsafe, leaving your comfort zone is a no-go, right? So the first step is finding emotional safety. The second step is solidifying your energetic container, which is also your establishing your identity as an individual separate from others. Right, that's step 2. Step 3 is, uh, unwinding the buttons and the triggers that sent you flying. It's the shadow work piece, right? So those are the 3 steps to becoming empowered as a human, okay? And then past that, there are additional steps to being able to facilitate this process for others, right? So yeah, so there's, there's another 3 steps to the process for that as well. Um, and no, you cannot skip the first 3 steps to get to the second 3 steps. I don't let people do that. I don't care what you've done before. I promise you, you've probably missed something along the way. I've worked with people who've been 15, 20 years in process with other people who get into the process and go, wow, I didn't even know this part of things existed, and I missed it entirely because I'm, I'm marrying so many different aspects of, of work, from psychology to self-help to magic to metaphysics, and I'm marrying them all together. Basically what I've done is I've taken 25 years of my own personal growth work where I wrote down everything that worked, and I've turned it into what takes 3 years to get through the whole process. First, first program's 4 months, so you get to try it out, right? But it takes 3 years to get through the whole personal growth process, and that's 25 years worth of personal growth work in 3 years. So if you want an express train, it's a great express train.

Yeah.

Um, but I do recommend that you not be doing anything else while you're doing it because it is so much work.

I see.

In a short period of time. Yeah. Um, so that's the work that I do with individuals. With business owners, I do a program, um, where I work with them on taking their business to the next level based on the information that we get from their reading. Similar to something, something like what we did, only far more in depth because we're going, you know, 45 minutes to an hour and a half depending on the person. Okay. And, you know, it relates to, to other issues. So, uh, for instance, the Own Your Power piece that we did with you will relate to things like not wanting to be seen, or not, not, not fully following through on things, or, you know, if something's seems like it's too fast, then you might back off, or you might have a hard time managing people, or, or, you know, things like that, because it's, it's an own your power piece, right? So all of these things, um, have correlations to a business aspect.

Okay.

And so we work on that level to unwind that process, and it's a 3-month process that we start out with, and then you could go month to month after that, um, if you need to keep going after that.

Wow. Okay. Wow, Kelly, this has been deep. This has been insightful. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Thank you so much.

I mean, like, pleasure.

Like, you've given me a ton to think about, you know, especially with containing my energy field. I love that because I realized by just doing that, I can keep some of that judgment that I imagine is happening outside of my energy field. I get that, I get that.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's a huge shift for people. People find that, that it changes a lot about how they feel.

Wow. Well, Kelly, thank you so much. Like, this has been really fantastic, and I will drop all your information in the show notes. And, you know, I'm gonna go and look at some of those, those those free downloads myself, you know, like for energy, and I, I think I do a pretty good job with it, but we can always do better, you know. I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and ways to even help my clients more. So thank you so much, I appreciate you so much today.

You're very welcome, thank you for having me on, I appreciate you.

If you like what you're hearing and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviestewart.com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.