Ep 84 Nadine Larder

are listening to episode number 84 with Nadine Lauder. I'm Travia Steward, and I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. Today on the Breakthrough Podcast, my guest Nadine Lauder is a beautiful soul. We talk so many things about wellness and creating wellness. And in this current chapter of her life, she is focused on helping women and some men reclaim their lives through their health, like she reclaimed hers from yo-yo dieting that led her to a long list of disease. She suffered from obesity. To the point of where she wasn't able to get out of bed for, for 6 months. She was also suffering from high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, fatty liver disease, high cholesterol, chronic asthma, and chronic illness, right? Her transformational turning point happened when she decided to fully accept herself as an obese person. And in that acceptance, she found self-love and learned how to improve the self-care that she gave herself. In that moment, everything changed for her. And right now, we drop in as if we are looking in that mirror with Nadine as she shares her breakthrough story with us. Right now. Listen in.

I'm standing in front of the mirror and I'm getting dressed for my daughter's graduation because it all, it all came to a head. The image, the My body image issues, they all came to a head in May of 2018. It all came to a head, and it came to a head as I'm getting dressed for my daughter's graduations, both of them. So my 4th child was graduating from high school, and my 5th child was graduating from middle school, and I have to find something to wear so I could take pictures. Because, you know, it's a big event in my kids' lives. And so I get dressed, I feel awful in my clothes. I am of course beating myself up in the mirror when I'm getting ready and I'm disgusted. I don't, I can't even fit in my shoes. Like it was so bad and my body was so inflamed that I couldn't even fit in my shoes. And I'm wearing these, I was wearing Crocs. I'm wearing Crocs because that's the only thing my feet will fit in because I'm so swollen and sick. And I want to show a picture for those that are watching, because I don't— it, it doesn't— I know that a lot of people are listening and you won't be able to see this, but until— unless you see like how bad it was— and when I say bad, I say that with love, and I will explain— I was, I was severely obese. I was 80 pounds heavier than I am now. And later in the, you know, as we developed pictures— well, developed— looked at the pictures on my phone, and I'm seeing the pictures, and I cannot even focus on this beautiful moment in my children's lives because all I could see was a disgusting human being in the mirror. Though I wasn't looking in a mirror, I was looking at photos. All I could see was something that was just truly disgusting to me. I beat myself up. I said unkind things. I, you know, I was very, very mean to myself for basically my entire life when it came to my relationship with food and my relationship with my body, because dieting for me— and I put an emphasis on the word die— Itting, because die itting will literally kill you. And I say that with as much drama and dramatic emphasis as I can, because I die itted my way to being 80 pounds overweight, obese, and unable to get out of bed. I have a tremendous amount of energy. I am like the Energizer Bunny. I've had assistants that are half my age and I run circles around them because I just have an abundance of energy. I'm the Energizer Bunny. I was in bed for 6 months. I could not get outta bed. My body had just started shutting down. I had diabetes, I had insulin resistance, I had fatty liver disease, I had fibromyalgia. I truly, truly thought that I was going to die of an asthma attack. I was very, very sick. And then I'm looking at myself in these pictures and I'm like, you're just a lost cause. Like, you're disgusting. You disgust me, Nadine. You disgust me is the conversation I'm having with myself. And that was a chronic conversation that I had with myself every day. I'm gonna cry thinking about it because it's very painful to think that any person would talk to themself that way. And the sad part about it is so many people do, because I see it every day in my Facebook groups. I see it on my TikTok channel. I see it all over social media. People message me because they say the same mean, ugly things to themselves. So I'm standing there in the mirror after seeing these photos, and I'm like, It's something's got to give. Something has got to give. And Nadine, you're going to be fat the rest of your life, so you might as well just get over it. You might as well put the hate aside and just accept you are a fat person. You're obese. You're fat. I apologize for that. You're fat, you're obese, you don't deserve love, you don't deserve all this stuff, or all the stories that I told myself. What if, Nadine, you just accepted the fact that you're obese, you're fat, and you deserve to be loved by you? Not by someone else, but by you. And it's like, you know, I never could wrap my head around how my husband could possibly love me. Like, how can my husband even find me attractive? How could— and I, you know, and he would tell me that I looked beautiful, and I'm like, you're a freaking liar. I couldn't even receive the compliment. And he wasn't lying. It's because he saw who I am. It's not— he wasn't just looking at the packaging, he was looking at the person, and I am a beautiful person. And so having this conversation with myself in the mirror, I waved the white flag. I said, I give up. I give up in beating myself up. I'm just going to accept the fact that I'm fat, and I'm going to move along I'm going to just have to learn to love myself like this. What choice do I have? Because I have tried every diet known to mankind, and here I am, 80 pounds overweight. I can't even get out of bed. So, oh well, I'm just gonna move along. And so I started to love myself. I started to love and appreciate my body. I started to recognize the miracles that my hands, just my hands. I would ask each of you to think about what your hands have done, what your hands have touched, what they've created, what they've built, what they do when they write, they type, they— think about your hands. And I'm not my hands, and I'm not my body. And I started to think about the— I have given birth 5 times. My body created 5 children. That's a miracle. And it's something to be honored and appreciated. And so when I started honoring and appreciating and understanding that my body is miraculous, I started changing the way I treated it. I did not— it's very, very important to me that people know I did not go on a diet. I will never, ever again go on a diet because I'll never be obese again. But dieting has a 95% fail rate. I did not go on a diet. I changed my thinking about me. I changed how I treated me. And when I learned how to love me as an obese person, I started treating the wrapper on me differently. I started treating my body like the temple it is. I did not go on a diet. I literally stopped poisoning myself every day. And on June 19th, 2019, I stopped eating sugar. And then a couple weeks after that, I got off all processed foods. And I have been eating clean. This is my life. This is my lifestyle. And this is how I eat every day. I don't miss sugar. I don't miss processed foods. I'm not suffering. I'm satiated. I've never eaten better in my life. And I'm teaching— this is what I'm teaching people. This is my purpose, is to help people learn that you, you can lose weight. You can get your body healthy. You can live. People— I get messages all the time, Travia Steward, of people telling me they're dying. And I understand because I was dying. And you can live and you can get your life back if you just change the fuel. It's like if you put really bad gasoline in a car, it ain't gonna run. If you put good fuel in your vehicle, it's gonna run really well. And my body's never run better in my life. And I mean that. I feel better now than I did when I was 25. I have more energy, I have more clarity. I just feel like a million bucks. And I want everyone to experience the living that I am living. I'm, I'm living my best life. I'm, it's unbel— I'm like stunned every day. I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, this is my life. I got my life back. And I want other people to get their lives back because you can, you can reclaim your wellness. And they often say that what is, where's more, what is more valuable in life than your health? And I am telling you, there is nothing more valuable in your life than your health. And I, I just want to help people. I have a goal. I have a mission to help no less than 1 million women get their health back on track. That's my goal. And I'm going to do it. I have, I have no doubt in my mind that I will help no less than a million women get their health back on track. Wow.

Thank you, Nadine. That's, I mean, You know, one of the questions that I love to ask is, who are you before this breakthrough? Who, who are you now? And you painted that beautifully. And so for my audience, right, I, I'm visualizing everything that you just shared with me.

Uh-huh.

What was that little space between who you were and then you're looking at yourself in the mirror? What was the moment of, I had to change my thinking, I had to stop poisoning myself. What was that moment of like— like, and the reason why I'm asking specifically is because in 2000— in, in 2012, I went on a diet because I was probably 50, 50 pounds overweight myself. And I was in Montana with a couple of my closest friends, and they're older, and we were in Glacier National Park, and we were walking downhill, and my knees hurt so bad that I couldn't go downhill, down a ramp.

Serious. I get it. Seriously, my knees were so messed up. Yours too? Did they heal?

Oh my God. Well, well, I've had some stuff done, but it was— I needed to, I needed to drop that 50 pounds. And so I did. I went on a diet. I dropped 54 pounds, as a matter of fact. But in that moment of what I'm asking you, it was a moment of Oh my God, I don't want to live the rest of my life not being able to walk downhill. I don't want to be stuck in a bed, which you said you were in a bed for 6 months. You know, it was— it was— yeah, it was in that moment of me going, I still want to be active. I still want to live, uh, uh, you know, an active life all the way until I'm 100, you know.

Thank you.

And so what was that? What was that decider, like the in-between, like you poisoning your body? What was the moment before you realized, I need to stop this?

You know, during that time, um, I was in a, uh, a group on Marco Polo. I don't know if you're familiar with Marco Polo. It's an app that people— it's like a camera, uh, walkie-talkie app, video walkie-talkie app. And I was in a group at that time where we were studying A Course in Miracles.. And anybody who has ever studied A Course in Miracles— I've done it, I think, twice now, three times. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Um, it really helps you to understand how we create our own reality with the agreements that we make within ourselves. And when we make those agreements within ourselves and we create that reality, we live it. That's what we live. We— the life that you're living is the life that you created in your own mind. Just like that was the life I was living, the one I created in my own mind. And I think one of the things that came clear to me is that if I, if I am a person of faith, and I am, and I believe that I was made in God's image, How can I hate on me but love God? How is that even possible? It's so incongruent. It does not add up. I had this conversation yesterday with my mother. It's like, you know, I have to love the child of God, the extension of God. If I'm made in his likeness, then I'm perfect just like he is. I can do anything he can do if I'm made in his likeness, and I have his power within me. Yeah. And so I think I came to the, the point during that, you know, seeing the photos, trying to get dressed, running out of options. Like, I was out of options. I was knocking on death's door. There is a video on one of my TikTok channels that if— and I'm, um, I'm about to post another one— if— and I, I recorded myself having an asthma attack because I couldn't— I was so sick I couldn't even go to the doctor. I could not make it to the doctor because I was that sick. So I recorded it so I could send it to my doctor so he could see what was happening. And I think it was that moment of realizing that I have to love and nurture myself like God would love and nurture me. I'm perfect. You're perfect. Your listeners I am telling you, you are perfect the way you are, and the size of your body does not determine your worthiness or lovability. It has nothing to do with it. And I tied all of my identity up in the size of my body because I, I was taught as a child that you are not worthy if your body is not perfect. That's what I was taught. That was what was modeled for me. And then I turned around and modeled the same thing for my kids. And so I've had to go work through— I, and I really do, I get on the phone with my kids and we work through it. And I tell them, I'm sorry that I taught you this. I taught you certain behaviors about being critical of your body, and I apologize, and let me help you clean it up because I was wrong.

Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. So Nadine, I feel like I'm totally on the page with you, 100%, because there are moments when I go, OK, I'm just kind of in between a rock. I don't have the answers. And I'm a Christian. I'm spiritual. I meditate. I pray. And I hear the gentle voice. I used to not be so tapped into it because I used to go, no, no, be louder. What? No, I need you to scream to me. No, he's not screaming. It's a gentle voice, right?

It's a whisper.

It's a whisper. So for those who are listening who are maybe not as in touch as Nadine is with that voice, or maybe they're not even, maybe they're atheists, right?

And that's okay. It's like, if you're gonna be an atheist, then be the best damn atheist you know how to be, which is exactly what Steve Hardison says.

Right.

But how, if you're gonna be an atheist, then dig in.

Yeah. But where are they pulling that extra intuitive guidance from? You know, because I feel like it's a spiritual thing here with the Christ. Well, with it, just with knowing that you're an image, you're a child of God, and, and you, you know, honor and love your body. Well, what if they don't believe that yet? Where can they pull that, that, that nugget, that breakthrough, right?

I understand. What does love look like? I mean, that's all I got. What does love look like? Does love look like standing in the mirror and abusing yourself with your thoughts? Is that what love looks like? No, that is not what love looks like. Love looks like standing in the mirror and appreciating who you are, and you are not your body. I am not. And I think that the, the best— because people, people think that they are their body. You're not your body. Like, and, and the best example I can give you, I already said it, but is your hands are your hands. They're not you. And so therefore, if your hands are not you, how can the rest of your body be you? Okay. It is profound. I didn't think of it myself. I don't remember where I heard it, but I think I heard it on—

we're giving credit somewhere.

Somewhere. I did not— that is not my brilliance. Yeah. Um, and I think I heard something, and I think I like turned it into my own variation and my own, you know, variation of what that person said. But it really, it really hit me that if I, if I'm not my hands, that I'm not my body, right? So you have permission. Here's the other thing. I think that society has taught us that we don't have permission to love ourselves if we think our body needs some work. Now, I'm not saying that, that we can't improve our bodies and that you can love your body and still wish to improve the condition of your body.

Absolutely.

It's like, I— if, if I, if I own a hot rod, let's just say, you know, and I'll tell you a I'll tell you a Steve story. You know, Steve, everybody who knows Steve knows he drives a Porsche. So Steve drives a Porsche and, and it's a beautiful Porsche. And you know why it's so beautiful is because every time he takes it for a spin, when he pulls it into the garage, he takes a rag and he wipes it down. Wow. So imagine If you cared for your body and loved on your body, the way a person who has a special vehicle, a special whatever, takes care of it. Yeah. And shines on it and treasures it. Your body is going to show up for you the same way that you show up for your body.

Absolutely.

And I started showing up for my body. I had, as a mother of 5, it's very easy to put everybody else's needs against, above your own. I did that for years. I was just telling Travia Steward that I graduated parenting yesterday. It's a big day today. I'm yesterday, I celebrated my youngest daughter turning 18. Today I am celebrating me no longer being a quote unquote parent. I will always be my children's mother. We tell them all the time. However, I am no longer a quote unquote parent, and I'm pretty damn excited about that.

Got it.

Got it.

I love it. Thank you for sharing that. So Nadine, you and I— you know, people are going, who is this Steve that they're talking about? They keep saying this guy named Steve we don't know. You know, I've never met the guy. I've always heard of the ultimate coaches. It's Steve Hardison. And, you know, Nadine and I are sharing you know, experiences that we've had. Nadine was coached by Steve Hardison. I also have my book right here.

Yes, we both have our book.

We both have our book. And you know, there's something so profound about what I feel is honestly happening in my life based on not just this book, but how this book came to be in my life and the people that are coming into my life. And I know everything happens for a reason. And I know you recently experienced a breakthrough because of this book and who you are being. Will you share just a little snippet of that? Because for some people this doesn't make sense. What you mean, who you being? I'mma be— I'm who I am, you know.

It really doesn't. It's so hard to explain because, you know, as you mentioned, I did coach with Steve one-on-one. I did one-on-one coaching with Steve. And as you read in the book, I also spent several months, 5 months, to to be exact, at Steve's house almost every day because I painted— I'm the artist who he calls— Steve calls me his Picasso. I'll receive it. I am the artist who painted the mural in Steve's backyard, and it is 600 square feet. And I think it's important to note that the biggest painting I ever painted prior to painting that painting is the size of this painting right here behind you. So the, the painting was 30 inches by 40 inches, is the biggest painting I ever painted prior to going and doing that wall. And I wrote a book about it called Conquering Fears to Create Masterpieces, because that book is all about I— who I had to be in order to paint that wall. It was, it was terrifying every day. Anyway, yeah, so I had a lot of time with Steve to really absorb this. And yet, reading the book, like, solidified it, slapped me across the face. I mean, like, it slapped me around. And the thing I realized that Steve, Steve worked with me on is about being. And if you look, this is how I really got through to people in my, in my free masterclass, Grab a Pen and Stack. And so if I look at my behavior, I had the belief that I am a fat person. And I had a belief that I was a— that I'm a fat person, even though I wasn't fat. I have a picture I'll show you right here. I used to tell this girl, and I know the people who are listening cannot see it, but if you look I used to tell this girl every day, this woman, I told this woman every day she was fat. Every day. And as Travia Steward will tell you, this woman ain't fat.

She is not.

She is a normal-sized woman. She weighs about 135 to 140 pounds, somewhere around there. Okay? That's what that woman weighs in the picture.

Right.

I told her every day that she was fat. Those are my thoughts. Yeah, thoughts become who you be, and who you be dictates what you do. So thoughts matter, and I put an emphasis on matter because matters is things that materialize. And so what happened is I told myself every single day that I was fat, ugly, unattractive, disgusting, all those things that I know so many of you are saying as you walk by the mirror. It's very unkind. And then it materialized. It materialized because I lived and created it every day, because I beed it. I know it sounds like really improper grammar. I don't know how else to say it, but that was who I be. Yeah, that was who I be. And then who I be became what I do. And I found myself in the cabinet every night eating Cheez-Its and Wheat Thins. Those are my drug of choice is Cheez-Its and Wheat Thins, my drug of choice, sugar, my drug of choice. And it got away from me. And then what happens with people who are in my situation and the thing that doctors don't teach us is that when you are on a— when you are on the hamster wheel of diabetes, insulin resistance, and fatty liver disease, they're all intertwined. When you are on that hamster wheel, there's only one way off. You have to get the sugar and the processed foods out of your diet, or you— there is nothing you can do to lose weight. You will not lose weight. You could starve yourself to death and you won't lose weight as long as you stay on the sugar and the highly processed foods, you could go down to 700 calories a day and you will still not lose weight. And that's what I teach people is how the food that they choose and the macronutrients and how it all fits together. And you can eat them. I, I eat butter. I deprived myself of butter and ended up obese. I eat all the butter I want to eat. I enjoy heavy whipping cream in my coffee. And I love it. It's like the greatest thing in the whole world to me when I drink my heavy whipping cream in the morning. And I do it without guilt. And it helped me lose 80 pounds. I turned everything I was taught right upside down on its head. Low fat will make you fat.

Period. Period.

Yeah.

So Nadieh, can you talk a little bit to your dieting statement?

Dieting, when you— I just really want people to think about that. I went— I was literally put on my first diet when I was about 6 or 7, and it's because my mother— and she has apologized, she, you know, I'm not bagging on my mom, you guys. She very much did exactly what the doctors told her to do, and she was being a good mother, not a bad one. I don't ever want it to come across that way. And so my mother was very concerned about weight, sugar. She— like, I didn't have cookies in my lunch. She would feed us— like, if— well, my— when I packed my lunch, she would feed us graham crackers because she didn't want us to have sugar. She really did do her best to keep our bodies healthy. And so with that, I loved milk, and I was taken off full-fat vitamin D, whatever it was, 2%, and put on nonfat milk when I was about 6 or 7 because I was fat, because I was getting fat, I was getting chunky. And so fat was taken away from me when I was 6 or 7. Yeah, because that's what my mom believed would be the best thing for my body. She was misled. It's not her fault. Yeah. And so I— with that tangent, I forgot what— oh, dieting, scarcity. So when you are in that space, you're in chronic scarcity and deprivation, and it shows up everywhere in your life. It doesn't just show up with your food. When you have that state of mind, when that is who you be, then deprivation, scarcity shows up in your money and your finances and your shopping and your You know, it's like, um, this thing. Let's just— I have this stupid little silly rack here. There's a stupid little silly rack in my hand, okay, that I paid maybe $2 for it. I don't know. When you live in deprivation and scarcity, you can't get rid of this $2 that you spent on the rack because you're still attached to it even though you spent it 10 years ago. It shows up everywhere. You hoard. And I don't mean like hoard as in like, I don't have my, my house is not super cluttery. It's just that, you know, I, if I would leave, I'd be very concerned. Like if I'm leaving the house, is there gonna be food? Am I, is there gonna be food there? Are they gonna have food that I could eat? Is, do I need to pack a snack? Do I need to bring something with me? Because I don't wanna be hungry because I was always hungry. I was always hungry. I was always starving. And yet never fed, right? That is what dieting does to you. And when you change your relationship with food and you realize that you can eat abundantly— I promise all of you, I eat everything I want to eat. I don't eat sugar and I don't eat the processed foods because I don't want to. I don't like the way it feels. I don't like the way it tastes. I don't like the way it smells. I don't like it because your body will crave whatever you feed it.

Right.

And once you change your lifestyle and you change the fuel to the supreme instead of the cheap stuff, your body just runs differently. And this is the thing that will surprise, I think, most people. I eat everything I want to eat. And my calorie consumption is approximately 1,300 to 1,400 calories. And I'm fully satiated. I am not dieting. I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm right now in the, in the point in my life where I'm just trying to tone. So I'm in the working out. That's where I'm focused right now. I'm not trying to lose weight, but I'm fully satiated and full and my body healed. And I'm eating somewhere, I'm not even eating 1,500 calories, and I used to be starving on 1,500 calories.

Yeah.

And it's because I eat abundantly. I eat butter, I eat heavy whipping cream, I eat cheese, I eat nuts, I eat all these things that are satiating.

Right.

And I'm not wanting, and I'm not in deprivation.

And you're not dieting.

I'm not dieting and killing myself with food. You know, it's like It's like you go look and there's no quick fix, you guys. There's no quick fix. You know, they've got this new pill, this new diet pill. It just infuriates me. There's a new diet pill that's going to help people, and it's such a big thing that they can't make it fast enough. And it's, you know, if people could just get their hands on this pill. No, no. Yeah, so change the fuel. That's all you got to do.

Change the fuel. That's so great. That's so great. Change the fuel. So I know that you have this, you have a Facebook group, you have a way that you work with, is it just women or is it men also?

I, so in my private coaching, I have said that I prefer to work with women, but men have been joining my group and I'm certainly not turning them away. Right. So the reason that I usually say women is because I know what it's like to be an obese unhealthy woman. I know, I know that life very well. And so I can connect with that. And I'm, I've lived that life and I've lived that story. And so I don't know what it's like to be an overweight man. I don't know what it's like to be in a dressing room and have, you know, clothing trauma as a man. I hear it happens because one of the guys in the group said that. Um, but I understand in the life of a woman, I want to help every single person who wants to get their health back. And, um, the— you mentioned the Facebook group. I have 3 Facebook groups currently, and the reason I have 3 is because they're compartmentalized so that there's the— it doesn't get muddy. So I have Gam Gam's Keto Kitchen. The one thing that I didn't say is that people know me as Gam Gam, which is what my grandbabies call me. Um, and so I have 3 grandchildren and I'm Gam Gam. Um, and so it's catchy, it's easy. And so everything is Gam Gam's Kitchen. And so I have, uh, Gam Gam's Keto Kitchen is on Facebook. I also have Grab a Pen Instead, which is a journaling course that I invite you all to that will help you change the thinking that leads to your being, which leads to your doing. And when you change your thinking, you'll stop doing what you're doing to yourself. I promise you. It's life-changing. And the people who are in that class, their heads are exploding because they're getting it and they're seeing how their actions are dictated by how they think about themselves. And then the third group I have is called It's Not You, It's the Diet. And that is a class that is dedicated. It's a free masterclass, and I encourage you to take it, and it will to you how food fuels your body. And it'll explain to you why, if you have insulin resistance, fatty liver disease, the, all the stuff that I had going on, it'll explain to you why the type of calorie that you take in is the most important thing. And that obesity is not about calories. Obesity is hormonal. And when I understood that my obesity had everything to do with hormones and not calories, it changed and saved my life. And so people are invited to take that class and it's free and it's just, it's a recorded class and I'm in there all the time and come, come hang out with me. I want to help you heal.

I love it. You know, thank you, Nadine. This has been so knowledgeable. Like, you're dropping so much good stuff, you know. And I know that, like, you have some probably controversial points of views here, but I love how strongly you stand firm in those beliefs. I really love it.

Yeah, I've lived it. That's why I think, you know, it's like I can, I can stand very strong because, number one, I've gone through certification courses, I've lived it, I've studied it for the last 3 and a half years hardcore. That is my life. I study food, nutrition, how it impacts your body, macronutrients. I'm studying it constantly.

Yeah.

And so I feel very, very convicted in my ability to help. I know I can help. I have no doubt in my mind. God told me so.

Well, there you go. That's icing on the cake. God told you so. Here, we will leave it there. Absolutely. Nadine, thank you so much for being on the Breakthrough Podcast. I have learned a valuable source of information. And I think, I think I've also gained a friend today. How about that?

You can count on that, especially since we found out we're neighbors.

Yes, we are.

Yes, we are.

Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you so much. And if you are finding value in these episodes, I would love it if you would go to Apple iTunes, Apple Podcasts, and leave a 5-star review. And so it helps more people be able to find the podcast. So take care, guys, and be exceptional.