Ep59:From depression, anxiety, and chronic nerve pain to successful entrepreneur with Nicole Tuxbury

You are listening to episode number 59 with Nicole Truxbury.

If you're someone who wants to make major changes in their life, someone who wants to achieve their goals, or maybe you're someone who knows this is not as good as it gets but you have no idea where to start, on the Reinvent You podcast, we explore different types of people, their successes and failures, and how they reinvented themselves to create the life they love. It's our hope that from hearing their stories that you too may have more insight into what it takes to build a life that you envision for yourself. Here to help you do that is performance and life coach Travia Steward.

Today on the Reinvent You podcast, I welcome Nicole Trucksberry, who is a multi-passionate entrepreneur with over 10 years of experience in mindset and business development. She is also the author and speaker and co-founder of a bootstrap 6-figure e-commerce business. She is also a coaching consultant and web designer. She has a free Facebook group for entrepreneurs who are ready to overcome themselves and have fun building their dream business. She's also the host of Overcome Yourself Podcast. Nicole has extensive experience in sales and marketing. She's able to take the things about herself that she once saw as weaknesses, like talking too much, depression, anxiety, a back injury, chronic nerve pain, being really bad at having a job, and so much more and use them as advantages to build a business that she now affords, that now affords her the freedom of time and money. Her experience and connections in sales, marketing, and web development, SEO, writing, and most importantly, overcoming herself make her an invaluable asset to entrepreneurs who are ready to take their business to the next level. On the podcast, we delve into Nicole's entrepreneurial journey, what motivated her to step out on her own, the environment which helped her to thrive as an entrepreneur, how she works with her clients, and so much more. Join us now. Don't miss a second of my conversation with Nicole Trucksberry. Here we go. All right, so here we go. Nicole Trucksberry, welcome to the Reinvent You podcast. I am so excited to jump right into this conversation. So So first of all, you know, I just want you to give my, my, my audience a little bit of context. I know you have such an exciting story of your entrepreneurial journey. So if you will just start off by telling us, my audience, a little bit about Nicole and how you got started, you know, how you came to be the entrepreneur that you are today, the entrepreneur that you are today.

Thank you. Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Thanks for the opportunity. Um, where did it start? Um, I don't know, like I've always, I guess, had that entrepreneurial spirit, even though when you're in school and like you sell stuff. Like my grandpa would buy me little jewelry and I would sell it in school. And then I figured out going to Costco, cause I was like, if everybody else is selling candy, why can't I just go to Costco and buy candy and sell it too? And then I got in trouble for that. So I've always, I guess, had that like entrepreneurial spirit. Um, but when I got into the workforce, I became a server and then I actually ended up becoming disabled. Like I hurt my back. And so I couldn't do that anymore. Um, then I went into personal, I became a personal assistant. I was a personal vacation planner and I had a lot of jobs. And I realized that it wasn't for me, you know, and I went back to my roots of entrepreneur and I was like, what can I do? So I tried a lot of different things. A lot of them didn't work out, but I learned along the way. And through all the things that I learned, I ended up becoming a web developer. And so now I run a few websites and I am also coaching other entrepreneurs. So I help them with mindset because I had to overcome myself. Which is actually the name of the book that I'm writing too. And so I help them with strategy, like with business strategy consulting as well as coaching. So it's kind of like all-inclusive. And I run several websites, lovelivehustle.com. I'm building that out as my blog. And then I have Tuxpeed Digital where that's where I have more of my coaching information. And I run trickdaddystore.com. It's an e-commerce store where I've teamed up with Trick Daddy and we sell his seasoning blend through that website. So yeah, so that's, that's what I do now. Wow.

You're doing a lot. Okay. So wow. That's, that's incredible. So let's, let's backtrack a little bit. So when you're out there doing all of this freelance stuff, like you were, you know, you're serving, you're doing all these things. Why not be content with, you know, a 9 to 5 job with a steady paycheck, with having the certainty and the security of working for someone else? Why was that not a comfort zone for you?

This is going to get deep. This is in my book. But once when I was younger, I was talking to my dad and he said to me, suicide is a a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And that was something that hit me really hard because it was something that I was going through at that time. And he's right. And when I got into the job force, I realized that having a job is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. You're always going to need money, not just when you're working, you know, not when you're healthy enough to be there. Um, and then being with all the stuff that I had gone through with like my back, I have, you know, with the, like I mentioned with the back issues and being neurodivergent, that just really wasn't, it wasn't for me, you know? And I realized that I wasn't gonna be able to really do that long-term. I couldn't deal with the bosses that I just had to learn how to kind of put myself down to. And I didn't really like asking for permission to do things. Like if I didn't feel well one day, and I wanted to work from home, I didn't see why that was such an issue. And so that's something I wanted to create for myself. And, you know, when I went to the doctor and he told me, Nicole, you have the back of an 80-year-old. Like, if you keep serving, you're done. Like, you're gonna be in a wheelchair within a few years. I realized I had to do something. Like, this is, I can't, you know, I was 25. Like, what are you gonna do for the rest of your life when you have something like that in front of you? So, It became like, I have to do this because I have to, like my body and my mind can't deal with this long term. And so I had to go through a lot of, you know, like the entrepreneur in the beginning that you go through a lot of heavy stuff. Right. Um, but it's kind of like a condensed timeframe and then you're free, you know? And that's what I wanted was freedom.

Okay. Well, I know someone's sitting there. And so what I normally do is whenever I hear a term that stands out to me, I go, oh, what's that? You know, because, and immediately when you said it, I Googled it. So can you expound on neurodivergent for my audience? Because somebody's driving and going, ooh, what's that?

Okay. So, um, good question. Um, that's a relatively new term that I've learned, but it's everyone. There's a neurodiversity is like the scale. Like everyone's different. There is a diversity. In brains, you know, like we all function differently. And neurodivergent, I guess, is we're different, like people maybe that have ADHD, anxiety, depression, autism. So it just means that we're a little bit different. We just think differently than other people. And those are just, you know, like thought patterns and stuff that I've had to overcome. To do what I've done, I guess. And I've learned to work with it and use it as one of my strengths instead of thinking that my anxiety or the depression that I was suffering was a weakness. It was just a sign that something was wrong. And it became my strength because now I can help other people going through that as well.

OK. Can we explore that a little deeper and a little more specifically? Do you mind?

To me? Yeah. I've been dealing with depression since I got diagnosed when I was 15 and anxiety. So I've always had like that. I'm always shaking my leg. I'm always doing something. But and so it's just, it's just different thought patterns, I guess. I don't, I don't. What else do you want me to talk about? Like how?

So because, you know, because a lot of people are like, we automatically Anxiety, depression, all those things have negative connotations, right? And people automatically assume the worst in those things. How were you able to look at that, flip that switch and go, this is happening for me. How can I— you, how were you able to use that as a strength for you?

Okay. Okay. Um, how did I turn it into my superpower?

Yeah.

Um, well, it took a lot of— I read a lot. I did a lot of reading. I had to decide that I didn't want to feel like that anymore. And it was a tough road. But, you know, anxiety and when you feel anxious, it's actually the same feeling as excitement. And so I had to learn how to recognize the thought patterns and turn them around. So The anxiety that I was experiencing, um, I looked at it as like misdirected energy. So when I start feeling anxious, I start— I'm like, okay, what can I do? Like, can I, can I clean something? Can I— because it's just energy that I've got to get out. It's kinetic energy. Um, depression— depression sucks, man. Um, like the best example I always think of is like the Dementors, like in Harry Potter, you know, and it's just like sucking the life out of you and you can't move, you can't, and it's just Oh, it's, it's, it's heart-wrenching. But again, it comes back to thought patterns. Now, I do want to mention that I did talk to my doctor and I found out that I had a vitamin deficiency that was leading to a lot of my symptoms. So that helped me a lot, starting to take those vitamins, like getting vitamin D, going out and getting some sun. Something as simple as that was something that was a huge help to me. Yes. And so being able to understand that it's okay that I go through— sometimes, you know, I'm gonna feel kind of down and using that to my advantage, taking that as time to do self-care, you know, and if I— you know what I'm saying? Resting, because maybe that's what my body needs. And then if I give myself the time to recharge, I can go back in, you know, strong. And so learning to work with you know, with the feelings, learning to work with, learning to work with what I have and accepting it in myself. Um, and not really claiming it. It's something that's happening to me, but it's, it's not me, you know. And I, and, and I don't know, I've had to just one step at a time, man. One step at a time.

I love that. Yeah, that's, that's really cool because, yeah, it is anxiety and the excitement. It is all the, the fight or flight Everything about that. And then sitting and going, oh, what's triggering this? And how can you use that? So I love that because like before I started full-time life coaching, I was a theater teacher. And so I would always talk to my actors about before you're going on stage, you know, because they're like, oh my God, Ms. Stewart, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous about, you know, I'm just sweating. I'm sorry. I was like, who knew that's adrenaline. Just use that. That's adrenaline. You want that nervous. That means you care about this performance. You care whether or not people think you're good. You know, that whole thing. So totally on board with you with that. That is so cool. And so I love— I know that gratitude is a lot— means a lot to you. So I feel like when you have those moments where you're like, it's time to slow down, How do you infuse gratitude in your day in those moments of it's time to slow down? I don't need to go 90 miles an hour right now. How do you infuse gratitude in your day to get the best out of Nicole?

I had to learn to do that. Um, that was something that was big. It was missing. Um, Alex Charpin talks about that. That's one of the traits of the entrepreneur personality type is that we don't, we don't exercise that gratitude muscle. And then it leads to things like you reach your goals and you don't, you don't feel anything like you don't feel accomplished, you know, you, you can't appreciate it. And so I had to learn to practice gratitude every day. And it's a habit that I'm still building up, you know, to make it more intentional. And the way that I've done this is writing down every day 3 things that I'm grateful for. And in the beginning, it feels kind of silly. To be like, I'm grateful for the air conditioner in my house. But if that junk breaks down, girl, you know what I'm saying? I live in Miami. So it's not silly. It's not silly to recognize even the little things, like having my cup of coffee. I bought this Nickelodeon cup of coffee, and I love it. I feel grateful for my cup of coffee. And being able to appreciate little tiny things. I've been nursing this since like 9:00 AM, by the way. I didn't just start drinking this. But then being able to do those little things during the day and writing down wins, that's helped me to appreciate the bigger things, you know, because it's like that little muscle that you're building up, building up. And then when something great happens, you can really lean into it and appreciate. And when something not so great happens, you could stop yourself and be like, hey, I still have all of this to be grateful for. So writing it down, just writing it down. Writing it down and thinking about it, like stopping and just being like, you know what, I feel grateful right now. Like totally random, but just let yourself do that.

Right. Because there's so many things we can be grateful for, right? The air, the air in our lungs, that our heart's beating in every moment. You know, I had, I had, um, this great, this badass lady on the podcast a few weeks ago, Julie Paulston, and she practices gratitude. Do you know like daily, she writes 100 things, Nicole, that she's grateful for. And she goes, and she goes, I challenge you to do 100 things. So I go, okay.

Yeah.

All right. I'll do that. So like the next day I sat down and go, 100 things.

Yeah.

100 things. I got to like 52 and I was like, that's hard. And I've tried it since, and I have not been able to get to 100. And I was like, Well, aren't I a terrible person? Can't come up with 100 things I'm grateful for. But that was so hard. And I think she does it like daily. And she goes, it's not that hard at all. But I was like, holy smokes, I've not gotten to 100 in one day at all.

Well, it's kind of like if you see someone that does 100 push-ups a day and you're so impressed and you try to do 100 push-ups and you can't. And you're like, what's wrong with me? She can do it, but I can't. You've got to build it up. You've got to start— like, if you start at least with 20 things, things, and then 25, and then 30, and then eventually you get— you can get— because that takes practice, you know.

It is—

it's hard when you're first starting too, is finding and then thinking about the smallest things, right? You know, it's figuring out what are the tiny, tiny, tiny minuscule things that I never even thought about that I should just take time to feel grateful for. You know, having shoes, you know. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, because we don't break it down to that minuscule, right? Right. I want to go back a little bit to, because I know you work with other people about their mindset, right? And it's some, it's, it's work that I do as well. What was your mindset when you were like, I want to, I want to start my own business. I want to do these things. What was your mindset that allowed you to think you could do this? You know, you could branch out on your own. You could make enough money that you had the confidence, you had the skills, you had the ability to really make this happen. Where did that come from?

Um, I saw so many other people doing it and I'm like, if this idiot can do it, man, why can't I? You know what I'm saying? Um, um, because you meet some people and you're like, ah, and you're like, if they can do this, you know, I can do this. Like, I know some stuff. There's just, you know, I saw my dad, you know, I saw some of my family having jobs and then I saw some of my family owning companies.

And there it is.

Yeah, it didn't go very well for my grandfather. Like, it ended up he had some issues. It was like he was in business with family and whatever. But I remember my dad, you know, like couldn't spend time with us on the weekend because he was working. And my grandpa would take my grandma on 3-week cruises in Europe.

Oh, good.

You know, he would come home during the day. He would be home. He'd be home for lunch. He would, you know, he was the one that basically raised us, my great-grandfather. So I think that had a lot to do with it, seeing seeing the difference and being, you know, being exposed to that. And then I got involved with several MLM companies and some other companies, and I got the opportunity to listen to a lot of people that were making a lot of money. You know, I got to have lunch with millionaires, and when you get to put yourself— that's one of the great things about like those home-based companies is that they give you an opportunity to meet people that are doing bigger things. That are doing things that you didn't think could even be possible. And you're like, if they can do this, you know, I can do this, you know? And there's so many, there's so many things out there to sell, to promote, to— there's a value that you have that you could provide to the world, you know, something that you've been through that maybe somebody else hasn't, you know, or writing a book, you know, like there's so many things.

I love that. So you're in the process of writing a book since you said that. Is that where Overcome Yourself— is that the name of your book, Overcome Yourself?

I think so, yes. My editor thinks she wants maybe a little bit more spicy. Um, I just like— that's what I've been calling it since— that's the name I came up with. So right now that's what I'm going with. I haven't come up with anything better, but yeah, that's the whole idea of it. Um, I thought I was writing a book about entrepreneurship.

Yeah.

Um, you know, overcome yourself and build a business. And I ended up writing a book about gratitude and habits.

Can you talk—

which is like the base of entrepreneurship, you know?

Can you talk to the premise or the idea of overcome yourself?

It's like kind of, I guess, what we're talking about now. Um, finding the strength in what you consider to be your weakness. Finding gratitude, um, learning how to find gratitude even in the worst situations. I wrote about, um, how I learned to find gratitude after I miscarried my baby, and, um, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life, but it's also one of the, one of the times where I, I had to— I had nothing to hold on to except finding things to be grateful for, you know. And so that was a huge lesson for me. And so I talk about that in the book. Um, and, and just opening up your mind to seeing opportunities, you know, because at the end it's all about perspective. Um, if you don't have an open mind, then opportunities will present themselves and you won't even see them, you know, when, when we were talking about that a little bit earlier. So, um, Yeah, like, and one of the parts is talking about one of the chapters that I wrote. It was totally by accident. It was supposed to be a section, and I loved it so much it became a chapter, is finding the superhero in your weakness. And how everybody, like David and Goliath, you know, the story everybody knows, the underdog who beats the giant, and everybody thinks it's like, you know, like a mystical rock or something, but it wasn't. I read Malcolm Gladwell, and he did an analysis of David and Goliath, and what everybody considered David's weakness was being a shepherd, right? And that ended up being his strength because he was a shepherd, he knew how to use a slingshot. And because of that, he was actually like a sniper back in those days. And so that battle was because his perspective was different and he came to it, he's like, I'm not gonna sword fight you, I'll lose. But you know what I can do? Oh, I'll snipe you. He sniped him right in the head. Right. And so he took what everybody considered to be his weakness and he used it as his superpower. And so a lot of times, um, as underdogs, what we consider to be our weakness, you know, and if you watch superhero movies, that's always what it is, is what they think is the weakness is the strength, is where the strength lies. And, and I've always loved that, um, you know, because there's a strength in us, and, and if we just adjust the perspective, it's all the perspective, you know, with gratitude We, we take that and we, we do something incredible with it. If I wasn't so like all over the place, I wouldn't have so many projects, you know, that are working right now. You know what I mean? So you just learn to use it. Wow.

I love that. And it is all perspective. And I know that, uh, somebody, you know, because not everybody, you know, it's, it's easier for, you know, coaches to go, you know, oh, there's a lesson in everything. You know, you can find gratitude and a lesson in everything, you know, but A lot of people are like, that's, you know, that's bull, you know. So if you don't mind sharing, what would you say the lesson was, or what was the thing that came out of— and, and maybe this is too personal, and I can, and I can totally cut it out if you don't want to share, but in the miscarriage, you know, what was— because that's so personal, and most people be like, what? There's nothing. That was just totally just It's so bad. There was nothing I learned from that. But what was the thing for you, Nicole?

I learned that, like, there was something going inside me. Like, there's a little person. And suddenly, I felt so small. Like, I felt so— like, like things that I was taking so seriously really didn't matter. Like there's, there's new life. And so that in that time I learned forgiveness. I had to forgive, like, you know, I held anger towards people and then I realized that it was like, I was like, this is stupid. Like there's a baby coming. I want everybody just to be happy. And, you know, and so I did a lot of forgiving, um, in that time. And like I said, gratitude, you know, when you have nothing to hold on to, that's the only thing you can grasp at, you know. And it was finding gratitude and realizing how powerful it can be. And, um, so, um, like, I realized that I didn't want to be in the same financial situation because that was kind of an accident when it happened. I, you know, I was with someone and we were happy, we were excited, but it wasn't planned. And then I realized that, you know, once everything had happened and I, you know, I had been sad, whatever, I didn't want to be in the same financial situation, you know, the next time I— because I know I want to have kids, but I wanted to be able to know I could go buy some milk and not have to, you know, worry about You know, what's up? You know, because kids are expensive, like you got to pay for that. And so making sure that I was going to have the time because my mom died when I was 1 and a half. And so being a mom is like a big deal to me. Like, that's going to be like a big experience for me because, you know, I want to be there for them the way that I didn't have. And so just really kind of reorganizing everything and seeing like there's a trajectory, you know, and seeing into the future and being like, I gotta set this up now if I wanna have like a house in 5 years, that's gotta happen now. If I wanna have this, I've gotta build it now. So creating that sense, and I've seen a lot of kids that had, a lot of my friends that had kids at that time, man, and they're so big now.

Oh my God.

They're like people now. You know, so it's crazy how much time has passed, but I had to learn, Well, like, what else are you going to do in that time? You know, I couldn't sit there and be mad. I didn't want to be mad forever. I'll see her one day.

You know, that's beautiful. That's beautiful.

She's up there with my mom. I love that.

Thank you.

My mom got her first grandbaby.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice. Nice. So knowing what you know now through all of your, your, your life journeys, your experiences, Is there anything that you would do differently?

Yes and no. Like, of course I would want to, but you can't because I wouldn't be me, you know, without all the stuff that I went through. I wouldn't have learned the lessons. I wouldn't have grown up so fast. So yeah. I don't know. I don't think, I don't know. No, I guess.

Yeah.

I don't want, I don't like to think about that because I, you know, then I think about my mom and stuff and I can't, I can't change that.

So what would be, do you have nieces and nephews?

Not yet.

Not yet. Not yet. What would be, you have cousins or something? You have like little, little cousins?

Well, technically I guess my fiancé has nieces and nephews. So technically I do.

Then you do too. There we go.

I do too. You're right. You're right.

What would be the advice that you would give them who's looking up to you? What would be the advice, like business-wise, life-wise, whatever it is, you know, the world is their oyster. What would be the advice you would give to them if they came up and said, Anthony Cole, you know, I look up to you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What would be the advice you would give to them? The best advice you have right now for them.

Start a business, start a business online, you know, like figure out— there's so many little kids right now that they're figuring out how to do it, you know, selling something, creating something and selling it. I don't know. So I would definitely say the bad stuff's not that bad.

Okay.

I guess.

Yeah.

You know, nothing is as good or as bad as it ever seems.

Right.

And I just feel like I didn't plan ahead. And so I would be like, you know, like really plan ahead, like not necessarily college, but like, what do you want to do? Like, what do you love and do that? Like, I mean, go to college if, I don't know, I don't know. It really depends on if you know what you want to do. Like if you know what you want to do, do it. I wasted a lot of time and money not knowing what I wanted to do. Right, right.. And you could start now, man. Like the world is not the same world I grew up in. We grew up in a world where they were training us to have a 9 to 5, have a good career, and that world just doesn't exist anymore. So, you know, opportunity is all around us. And, you know, I want my kids to start businesses like early. Like I want them to think it's like a school project. And, but they create something, or, you know, because it's, it's, it's so important. And if you create a stream of income, um, you could just live your life.

Absolutely.

It's not about work. It's not about a job.

Perfect.

The only way you're gonna have freedom, you know.

Yeah, that's perfect. Perfect. So just a couple more questions. So how do, like, people listening right now is like, you know, Nicole is cool, I would love to work with her. How do you work with clients?

I have a bunch of free resources on my blog, lovelifehustle.com/resources. You can learn to set up a website there. I have information about dropshipping, all kinds of stuff of ways you can make money online, programs I've taken to learn stuff. And I also do, like I mentioned, one-on-one coaching. So you can find actually the resources on that one as well, lovelifehustle.com/resources. Resources. And you can find all my coaching. That's, yeah, that's the main thing because the websites are kind of like, that's what I can handle right now. So I'm doing more of the coaching consulting. And yeah, yeah, so that's it. So I have a bunch of free resources, tuxpeedigital.com as well. I have a free success habits principle thing.

Perfect. So yeah, perfect. And then how can people connect with you? What's your preferred method? Can they follow you on social? Where do you like people to connect with you?

Uh, yeah, I am on Facebook. Um, so you could connect with me there. Um, I'm not very good with social. I need to work on that. I need to get better. Maybe. Um, I'm, I'm working on it. Um, I do, I have like an Instagram, I have LinkedIn. I'm just not very good at posting on them, but you could totally find me on there if you message me. Calling you back.

Perfect. Perfect. All right. Well, Nicole, this has been so fun. It's been such a cool conversation we've had. Thank you for gifting us with all of your knowledge. I now know what neurodivergent means. I'd never even heard that term before. So I now know so much more than I knew before we sat down to chat. So thank you so much for everything that you shared with, with me and my Reinvent You audience. So I loved our conversation today and thank you.

Yay. Thank you. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I appreciate you so much.

Absolutely. If you like what you're hearing and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviesteward.com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.