Feeling stuck & bored with your life?

Do you ever find yourself asking, is this all there is to life? Is this as good as it gets? What if feeling stuck, feeling bored and stagnant is actually a wake-up call for you to shake some shit up? Welcome to Lead with Confidence Now, the podcast dedicated to helping you grow your confidence and live your best life. I'm Travia Steward, and for 27 years, I've been on a mission to help as many people as possible transform their lives. My goal with this podcast is to help you improve your self-image so that you can perform better in every area of your life. In today's episode, I am diving deep into the topic that resonates with so many of us. I knew it was a thing that lit a fire under me, feeling bored, stuck, and stagnant. We all go through periods of life where life feels like we're just going through the motions, right? It's Groundhog Day. But it doesn't have to stay that way. It doesn't even have to be that way. Today we're gonna explore why this happens and how you can break free from this cycle to live a more energized and meaningful life. Inside my coaching accelerator, Uplevel, we provide you the tools to support you in the need to transform and how to transform your self-image so that it makes it probable for you to achieve your goals. All right, let's get into it. What's up, what's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Thursday. So, this is a topic that's so near and dear to my heart because I watch so many people really fight with this, or not even fight, but kind of lay down and just lose and go, "This is my life and there's nothing I can do to change it." Right? And so when we think about when we feel bored, when we feel stuck, when we feel stagnant in life, a lot of times that comes from a lack of alignment between your current reality and your blueprint, right? Because when we are born, become teenagers, we start experiencing the life. You know, we start, you know, learning from other people. We have these dreams and desires that we have most of the time that stem from when we're kids. And then we begin to go, let's be realistic, let's be practical. What can I actually do that's gonna make some money? And I get it, that's all well and good. We all have to, you know, make money so that we can, have the necessary things in life in order to keep a roof over our head, food on the table, clothes on our back, all those things. But at the end of life, what's really going to matter is, did you come here to do all that you came to do? And so we have a blueprint that we have as a kid, as a teenager, sometimes it even stems in our early 20s. I know it did for me. And then I believe that we begin to get socialized based on what other people think is possible for us when we want to become the person that other people think, other people want us to be. And we get socialized to, this is how life is. This is the role of females. This is the role of males. This is the role of everyone. In between. And so what happens is I believe that we have these values that are important to us that we've stopped aligning in our actions every day. And so we have this disconnect between our current reality and our deeper desires of what we really thought life would be like today. And when our daily actions and behaviors don't match our values and goals, it just feels like, "Well, you know what? I can't change things. This is as good as it gets. I'm just spinning my wheels." And again, and I've talked about this before, think about it as living on autopilot. But this is something that is really, really deep down, right? But you know, even though it's deep down and we think we just have to keep going to work, we just have to keep going, waking up and putting one step in front of the other, there is a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction. And I want you to think right now where that nagging feeling is for you. Is it in your career where you know that you are meant for more? Is it in your relationships where you're like, I'm walking on eggshells, I can't talk to my partner, communication is in the pits? Is it in your active life? Is it in your health? Is it in your vitality? Where are you feeling like you are dissatisfied? And if you could change things, this is what— if you could wave a magic wand, what would that area of your life change and look like? And how can we get it closer to your blueprint? Those deeper desires that may be on the back burner. Because what happens is when we begin to get bored and we begin that cycle of stagnation, and after doing some work, that's what I realize, that's the problem that I solve. I solve the problem of stagnation. And with my coaching, I help you get out of feeling stuck, feeling bored, feeling stagnant, like the water in a pond that's no longer flowing, that has the algae on top that you wouldn't dare want to go swim in. But that's what I think of when I think of being stagnant in life. Like you're sitting in one position, whether that's a job, a relationship, you know, You're sitting in that one position way too long and we just get comfortable and it's more comfortable to stay there than it is to feel the discomfort of getting out and trying something new. And so what happens is we stay in these situations and these feelings grow and grow and grow, and then we just go, it's too late. It's too late for me to make a change. It's too late for me to find love. You know? One of my best friends is like, you know, she is starting over in the dating world. You know, she is in her mid-40s and she's like, you know, who is going to want to be with someone who has kids and who has baggage and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you have so much to offer. You have so much. The person who is blessed and lucky enough to have you as a partner, their life will be enriched. Their life will be so changed from the presence of having you in it, from you being their partner. And so there's so many times, even in relationships, they're like, it's too late for me. My peeps, it's never too late. I don't want you to ever feel like you are trapped in a cycle where You cannot get up and make one step different the next day, right? I don't want you to ever feel like breaking free seems impossible. No matter what your circumstances are, there is something, I believe, that we can always improve. Now, what are some signs that you may be stagnant in your life like that, that pond that has algae growing over it? Most of the time I find that it's a lack of motivation. We are not enthusiastic about getting up and going to the job. Sometimes we're not enthusiastic about going inside of the house when we've driven home from the job, where we sit in the car and go, "I'd rather sit in this car than go in the house and have to listen to so-and-so. I'd rather sit in the car where I'm in peace and I have control of this environment." environment. And sometimes it's just a lack of enthusiasm and excitement for the life that you're living, that you've created, but that can change. So it's a lack of motivation. And then again, we have routine overload. When we keep doing the same things over and over again, we can't expect different results. We have a routine overload where Sometimes you look up and go, what day is it? Is it Wednesday? Oh, shit, it's Friday, right? Because all we do is go through life doing the same things over and over again, and our days and nights just begin to bleed into one another. And then I also believe we begin to feel stuck when we avoid challenges. We're no longer testing ourselves. We're avoiding new opportunities. We're sticking to what's comfortable and familiar. And then when we avoid challenges, I believe we're also avoiding discomfort in emotions. You know, we don't wanna feel those things. You know, sometimes we have this situation of where we detach ourselves from our emotions, where Sometimes in today's society, we don't want to feel anything, right? And then sometimes on the opposite end of the spectrum, you have these people who are like, you know, I want to feel everything and I want to put it on a billboard, all the things I'm feeling. All I'm asking you to think about is what are the ways that you're feeling stuck? What are the ways that you're feeling like you are not living life to the fullest in the life that you believe that you were created to come here and live and create. Now, the reason why I talk about these things is because we want to address it, right? We want to address if we're dissatisfied, if we're stagnant in our lives, in our careers, in our relationships, with our physical health. We want to address those things because you have to become aware. You have to address it first in order to make some changes. And now when we get to the root cause of what is causing the stagnation, you open the door to a more fulfilling life, right? You're able to maybe reignite a passion that you put on the back burner. You may be able to rediscover your purpose, which transforms every aspect. Talking about that excitement and that enthusiasm for your day, I believe it comes back when we address what is it that is causing our stagnation. And so many of you know that I was a high school teacher for 24 years and I became stagnant. I became stagnant because I could walk in the classroom and pretty much teach the class, direct the shows with my eyes closed. And I was no longer challenged. But you know what? The comfortable thing about it would've been to just stay in that job and keep doing the same thing that I've always been doing with different students, of course. But I know that I came up with a family and friends and I was socialized to believe that you get this job, you keep that job, you retire, you have a pension, you have retirement, then you get your Social Security and then you die. And I know that a lot of my friends are the exact same way. And so it took a lot of getting uncomfortable for even me to make the switch. And every day I remind myself when this work is getting difficult, because it's uncomfortable. There's a lot of discomfort that comes with being an entrepreneur, that comes with going out there and getting my own clients, going out there and growing my business where no one is going, "Travia, you need to do these kinds of things. You need to do this today. You have 3 hours." students coming, you have this. There is no set checklist for me to complete the things that I need to complete every day. So that is uncomfortable for me. It's a lot of discomfort, but you know what? I feel alive again. And because I feel alive, because I'm challenged, I know that I am giving this chapter of my life all that I can give it. I am 100% invested, and I've never felt more alive. And I can't even imagine— now, I love teaching high school theater for 24 years. I loved it. But I also love the newness that I'm experiencing with coaching. I'm also— I love this work. I love the transformations that I am a witness to. I have a front row seat to these transformations where I am watching, you know, one of my clients who never believed she could be an executive director because her self-image didn't match up to becoming an executive director. I'm watching someone who didn't love their job and he talked about their job all the time in a very negative way, actually begin to take on the model that a job is just a job and that's not the job that she really wants, but it pays the bills. But she's starting her own business so that she can pour all of her skills and all of the love into that new thing. I'm watching one of my clients improve her marriage because we're learning how to communicate. She's learning how to communicate again. And overall, what I'm witnessing is how alive all of these people feel. All of my clients have begun to feel in their life because They're now getting back closer to their blueprint. They're no longer feeling stagnant. I no longer feel stagnant, like I'm dreading every single day of going through life, you know? And so what I'm asking you to do is start becoming aware, right? And we often think that we have to make these big, bold changes overnight. We have to just flip everything that we're doing on its head. No, we don't have to do that. We're just gonna make some small, consistent changes that lead to, like, huge results and transformations in your life. You know, like for instance, you could just begin by going, how am I thinking? What am I feeling? How can I label what I'm feeling right now? Because my check engine light has gone off. I feel my chest is tight. Well, maybe that's a time to do some open journaling. Open your journal and just begin to do some free writing. And sometimes the pen or the pencil keeps going without you directing it. And then you go back and you read that and you're like, what the hell did I just write? Who wrote that? Because our subconscious a lot of the time is running the show. And so Just taking a small step with maybe becoming more aware of how you feel and what you're thinking every day can be a huge shift to how you show up in your life, right? And so one of the common misconceptions that I hear people say all the time, and I also thought this, that these feelings of being bored, these feelings of feeling stagnant and stuck, well, they'll pass. One day I'll look up and they'll be gone, you know? And then I won't feel the way I feel right now. Well, what's going to change that? One day, it's just going to— somebody is going to go zap it and go, oh, you know, Travia doesn't feel stagnant anymore. She isn't doing anything different. But you know what? I'm waving the magic wand so she feels great and she's enthusiastic and excited about life again. Well, I don't know anyone that that's happened to. I only know myself as an example of someone who's done different things, someone who's gotten uncomfortable. So what I'm asking you to do is really lead into, lean into that these feelings just won't pass on their own. You have gotta do something different. And so with just some external changes, like journaling, maybe a little meditation, maybe a little more prayer, I believe it can ignite a change in how you begin to walk and move through the world, right? So I'm talking about self-reflection, being aware, setting some small achievable goals so that maybe we can reconnect with that thing that we once put on the back burner. Right? And so that goal that we had in our blueprint, which will also help us to reconnect with our passions. And then surround yourself with other people who are like recognizing maybe that they've been stuck, they've been stagnant, and how can you be a support for one another? And so what I'm asking you to do today is to become aware of how you feel about your life, how you feel about your career, how do you feel about your relationships? Give it a number, right? Because I believe in quantifying. If you get up and you're like, hmm, if I were to gauge how I feel about my career on a scale of 1 to 10, let's say you're not very excited about your job, you're not very excited to go to work every day, and maybe You're gonna say, I think, you know, I would score my career and how I feel about it and all the things that I'm doing as a 5, a 5 outta 10, because 10 being the best. And then ask yourself, how can I get closer to a 10? So what would make it a 6? If you could work, you know, maybe in a hybrid situation, what would make it a 7 if you could, Something that was important for me in becoming an entrepreneur was I wanted more freedom. I wanted freedom to do things on my terms. And so for me, if I was gauging my career as a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, one of the things that would probably jump it up like 2 numbers would be to have more freedom and flexibility with my daily schedule. So what are those things for you? Then do it with your relationship. You know, how do you score? Am I bored, stuck, and stagnant in my relationship? What's my score in my relationship? Maybe it's a 6, maybe it's a 7. What would get you closer to a 10? Is it that maybe we could have a date night 2 times a month where the kids are off doing their own thing and it's just you and your partner and your spouse or whoever? Reconnecting. And so I want you to go, where in my life am I experiencing this level of stagnation? Where in my life has the flow of water stopped flowing and algae is forming? And just begin to experiment and explore. Don't be afraid to try new things like, you know, new hobbies. Join a meetup group. Take a class, start a new hobby. You know, one of my clients, I challenged her to find something, you know, she's joined a hiking group. And you know what? She's now a hiking leader and she loves hiking. She now identifies herself as a hiker. That is something that she never would've done had she not been in coaching. And she will say that. And so, I'm asking you, if you're stuck, bored, and stagnant, what can you do today that helps you to become aware, experiment, and explore ways in which you can begin to do some things that are different, do some things that provide some spontaneity and excitement in your life? And so that's what I want you to think of when you listen to this episode.. And I want you to believe in your ability to change. We can all change. It is never too late to change something in your life. Now, it may look different than it would've looked had you changed it 20 min— 20 years ago, 10 years ago, whatever. But it's just never too late to make a change. And I want you to believe in your ability to change and then watch yourself walk into, directly into the fear of change. I'm not asking you to go jump out of an airplane. Maybe you're gonna do indoor skydiving. Small steps, right? Small steps. So to summarize, what I'm asking you to do is identify the source of your stagnation, where in your life you're feeling stuck, give it a number, and then ask yourself, what would make it one tick higher? What would make it closer to a 10? And then what is one thing that you could do to get you closer there? Seek support. Find someone else who can motivate you when you're feeling low. You can motivate them when they're feeling low. A little bit of reciprocity goes a long way. And so again, believing in your ability to change and leaning into the fear of getting uncomfortable and what it's going to feel like. All right, my peeps. So today we talked about getting bored, how it feels when you're bored, stuck, and stagnant in your life, and then how to break free by realigning your actions and your values and your passions, pulling some of those things out from the back burner to get closer to the blueprint and how you originally imagined your life. So if you're one that's feeling stuck and you're ready to break free from this monotony, I believe it's time for you to take action. Join my Uplevel coaching program. It's an accelerator. It's one-to-one and start transforming your life today. In Uplevel, we're going to work together to realign your actions with your true your passions and values, which will help you create a life filled with purpose and excitement. You'll gain the tools, support, and guidance needed to overcome that stagnation and reach new heights, upleveling your life. So my peeps, don't wait any longer, start living the life you deserve. So visit traviesteward.com to learn more about Uplevel and how you can join. And so basically it's just getting on a Connect Call, getting on a call with me. So go to my website, hit Connect With Me, and let's jump on a call. And I will just ask, how can I help you create the life that you've always imagined for yourself? All right, let's get started on this journey to your best self. All right, my peeps, that's a wrap. We'll talk next week.