In this hour‑long interview on the Reinvent You Podcast, host Travia Steward talks with motivational speaker, coach, and author Andres Ruiz about his journey from a destructive lifestyle of substance abuse, self‑harm, and suicidal thoughts to becoming a purpose‑driven leader. Ruiz recounts his early years of low‑skill customer‑service jobs, heavy drinking, cocaine use, and severe weight gain, and how the birth of his child sparked a dramatic health and mindset transformation that led him to lose 80 lb, pursue personal development, and discover a passion for public speaking. He describes how vulnerability and authenticity became central to his work, especially when speaking to high‑school students and adults about mental‑health stigma, peer pressure, and the "Ending the Silence" movement. Ruiz explains the role of mentors, coaches, and daily audio affirmations (Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, etc.) in reshaping his subconscious, and how he now uses storytelling, tools, and a supportive community to help others take leaps of faith, develop self‑belief, and find their purpose. The conversation also covers his books—Morning Warrior Secrets and earlier titles—his upcoming speaking engagements, the Legacy Coaching Academy program for aspiring coaches, and practical advice on setting boundaries, reprogramming media consumption, and cultivating inner resilience. Throughout, Ruiz emphasizes the importance of healing the inner child, building supportive networks, and believing in one’s unlimited potential.
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Like in my mind, I was really starting to just think to myself, like, should I kill myself? I started cutting myself. I remember cutting on myself, my chest, uh, the word die. And just, it was like, what the hell was I thinking? And I, I was thinking to myself, okay, what am I gonna do? Am I, am I really gonna kill myself? Right now, a lot of men are dealing with that., and they're wearing this mask like, I'm a badass, you know, right? But behind that mask, there's a lot of anger. But if you go even deeper behind that anger, there's, there's, there's a lot of crying. There's a lot of crying that has not been done. And behind that crying, there's a little boy just sitting in the corner needing to be healed. I even remember this story of, of this, this, uh, the 60-year-old man when I spoke at a rehab center. And he goes up to me and he says, hey man, nobody's ever told me that they believe in me. Many people will leave the universe without a trace.
Ladies and gentlemen, today I have a very special guest with me. He is a motivational speaker and a coach. Joining me today on the Reinvent You Podcast is Andres Ruiz. Today we are going to discuss the power of taking the leap of faith, the power of having a coach and a mentor, and how important it is to develop a level, a high level of self-belief. Andres, welcome to the Reinvent You Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. This is awesome. I love, I love the name of the podcast. That's awesome. Especially now is the time to reinvent yourself more than ever. I really believe.
Thanks for having me. And if you notice, it used to be called the Work That Out Podcast.
Oh, okay. I like that one too. I like that.
Yeah. And you know, but it just didn't have that same ring. I felt like people didn't know exactly what it was about. So that was, yeah, the motivation for that. So, but again, thank you so much. So Andres, I want to start off with, you know, I think it's so special. The point of my podcast is to shine a light on people who have taken these leaps of faith, people who are changing their life to get their more, and people who are just living the life that they have created on their terms. So, if you can begin, just tell us who Andres is. What was your calling that pulled you out of an area of work into coaching, into motivational speaking? Just tell us a little bit of your story just to introduce yourself to the audience.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Uh, yeah, so I, when I first got started, be— well, actually before all this got started, I remember I, I was working at a job that I hated. I was working customer service jobs for so many years and that was the only real skill set that I had. I didn't have any other skill sets and I was just miserable. I was constantly asking myself, you know, like, is there something more out there for me? Can I do more than this, what I'm doing with this life? And I just wouldn't do anything different. I was doing the same thing over and over again, working 9 to 5, going to watch basketball for about 4 or 5 hours, having a beer, having some dinner, going to sleep to do the exact same thing all over again. And then just waiting for Thursday, you know, 2-for-1 Thursdays, let's go get some drinks. Fridays, it's the cat house. Saturday, let's go watch college football. Sundays, let's watch Sunday Night Football. Yeah. Monday Night Football, Tuesday's volleyball. Okay, I didn't watch volleyball, but it was always an excuse, you know what I mean? Just to go escape life. And so I kept that going for many years. I was drinking a lot of alcohol. I was taking pills while I was drinking alcohol just to get a good high. I was doing cocaine. At one point, we were doing cocaine for 2 days straight, a friend of mine and myself, and and almost overdosed on cocaine at one point in my life. And it was just a really scary moment in my life. When that was going on, I felt like I started thinking about documentaries and movies and I said, damn, like this, I'm about to die. And so it was just really scary. I was also overweight. I was weighing 265 lbs. and was even more depressed because of my physique. So I was in a really tough spot. And then thankfully I found out I was going to have a baby and that changed my life forever. You know, I said to myself, if there's another human depending on me, he was my why, the reason why I had to get off this self-destructive path. So got on a diet, lost 80 pounds, felt in the best shape of my life, and then started working through personal development on myself. And I remember one day waking up and saying, damn, like, here we go again, another Monday morning. And I remember putting on Les Brown, a motivational audio by Les Brown. I love him, man.
Yes, yes.
My boy. He doesn't even know it, but he's like a brother to me. So I remember one thing that he said, he said, "Many people will leave the universe without a trace, and under their name you can put 'not used up.'" And I said, "Damn." That really hit.
Yeah, that's profound.
Profound as heck. And I was like, that's me. So then I started listening to audios more and more and just started getting motivated, and that inspired me to do something that I've been wanting to do since I was 12. Which was stand-up comedy. So quite the trace I wanted to leave behind, right? And so I started doing stand-up comedy. I mean, I was terrible. I would just get crickets, you know? First time I went to go do stand-up comedy, my buddy went with me and he was the only one laughing. So that's how terrible it was. I think he felt he owed it to me because, you know, I spotted him some dinner that night. So he's like, you know, I'm gonna give him a little giggles here and there, but he's terrible. So that led to me saying, you know what, I want to be a better comedian. So then I heard Les Brown talking about Toastmasters. I joined Toastmasters, I refined my comedian skills, I got a little bit better, but then that inspired me to become a motivational speaker. And that's the beauty about when you pursue your goals and your dreams, you will start to find other things like that, other niches that interest you. And so I did motivational speaking, which then led to life coaching. And that's how I became a motivational speaker and a coach. So just kind of in a nutshell, that's my story.
Right. Oh, wow. That's a great story. You've wrapped that up like a nice little Christmas present. I love that. So something I really want to unpack is when you were at that level of doing cocaine, you're doing pills while you're drinking, You know, because lots of times our personalities and, you know, maybe we don't have enough going on in our life. That's, you know, that you hadn't had the baby yet. So you didn't figure out your, your why, but so much of it is because of peer pressure. It's because of the friends you're hanging out. You're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Right. And so finding yourself in that place, how easy or how hard was it for you to claw your way out? Especially pulling away from that set of friends?
Oh, great question. I love that question. Uh, peer pressure is so huge nowadays. Uh, that back then, I remember I was, I was just worried that if I don't— I didn't join my friends for a drink or some cocaine, that I would kind of like be kicked out of the, of the, of the circle. And it was like, we're living in the survival mode. Like if we're living in the ancient times, you know, where we were just hunting for food and all this stuff, but Nowadays, we're just scared that, oh my God, what if my buddy rejects me? Or what? And it was just so hard to step away from that because I'll even tell you a story of how hard it was. I remember one time I was taking antibiotics and because I had some bacteria and I don't want to get too— it's a little nasty, but my toe, my fat toe.
I can imagine.
Yeah, so you can imagine. And then I remember I was thinking, I wasn't drinking that day because I had to take out the antibiotics and my friend said, Oh, it's gonna be like that, man? You're not gonna drink? That's messed up. Stop being such a punk. I'll leave it at that.
Yeah.
And then I said, oh man, and I started thinking to myself, should I just drink, drink? And then I got the beer, started drinking. My friend was like, yeah, all right, man. And I said, cool. Ah, you know, I was worried that I was gonna upset my buddy. I cared more about this guy than my fucking toe. Yeah. And my toe got worse, of course, because I was drinking, led to more things. And that's just so hard to— it's about acceptance. We want to be accepted. We feel that we're gaining love from these people for doing something that is not good for us, but we're more worried about what they say than what we say. So it was really hard for me to step away from that. But when I found out I was going to have a baby, that little by little, I started getting away from those people. I started distancing myself. You know, with respect. And little by little they would tell me, hey Andres, I'll even give you an example. I was cooking some eggs one time, it was 5 in the morning and I'm cooking up some eggs, my kids are playing, they're little, and then my friend calls me up and I'm like, oh, this guy's probably drunk or something. I'm like, hey, what's up man? He's like, hey, what's up bro, how you doing?
I love it.
Hey, come on over man, we got some girls, we got cocaine. I'm like, dude, I'm cooking eggs with some kale right now here for my kids. He's like, The hell is kale, man? And I was like, you're never gonna know, man. It ain't weed, that's for sure. But, and he's like, oh, okay, cool. And little by little, they didn't even call me anymore because they're like, nah, this guy, he's boring.
Yeah.
You know, and I— and little by little, I started— the beauty about when you distance yourself from people like that, you start to bring in beautiful people like yourself, you know.
Yeah.
I get to meet you, I get to to be people who are on the journey that we all are on.
Absolutely.
And those people, they can continue doing what they're doing. It's OK, you know? Love and respect, but from a distance.
Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing so much of that. I love it. I love it when you go into your accent. Andres! I love that. So I know that you work with high school students, right? And the thing about it is, as a young adult, it's hard to distance it. Like, what age were you when you were— when you're like, I've seen the light. You know, I'm going to distance myself, no more cocaine, no more drink, and you know, all that. What age was that?
That was like in my late 20s.
Okay. So the, you know, the, the further you get away from your teenage years. So because I know you work with a lot of high school students, how do you provide a plan for them? And so that they can find a level of acceptance, not external validation, but within themselves so that they can be okay with being themselves and not fall so deep into peer pressure, kind of like you did, kind of like we all have, but it's easier to me, I think it's easier as an adult to pull yourself out of that because you're more rational, you've got kids, but what if you don't have those things?
Yeah, damn, these are great questions, man. This is awesome. So pretty much what I do with them is I tell them stories. When I speak to them, I give them a tool after the story, but first I want them to just go, whoa, that hit, that hit. Just how I talk about my personal experience when I tell them and I ask them, because I'm doing this special thing for this college where it's called Under the Stars and we're doing every Friday, we meet at 8 PM and I'm giving this workshop to about 30 kids and we get into it, man, I just get goosebumps right now thinking about it because I tell them, drop it in the chat, keep it real. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever felt jealousy? Have you ever felt envy? Have you ever felt that cousin betrayed you because he said something that he shouldn't have said? And then they start putting, yes, all the time, boom, boom, boom. And then they start sending me private messages where they're like, hey, Mr., like, this is what's going on with my life. And they share so much intimate stuff. Why? Because I am willing to be vulnerable. I am willing to be authentic and keep it real with them and say, Hey man, look, this is me. Okay, I am a motivational speaker and a coach, but I am human. I am nobody special. And what I'm trying to say to you is that you have something special within you. And then they tell me, I don't have any support. Well, I'm here to tell you, I'm here to support you and I believe in you. You have greatness within you. And they're like, what? I even remember this story of this 60-year-old man when I spoke at a rehab center. And he goes up to me and he says, "Hey man, nobody's ever told me that they believe in me. Thank you so much. I appreciate it." And it's just so powerful. I also remember the older man, like in his late 50s, and we did a forgiveness meditation and he came up to me and said, "You know what? I finally forgave that man that molested me when I was 5 years old. I finally forgave him." And imagine if somebody would have just said to that 5-year-old, hey, Hey son, forgive him. Let me show you, let me give you these tools. I believe in you, I love you, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are bold. And then imagine if we were to do that for these kids and would they end up in drugs? The guy was suffering because he had so much shame, so much shame. I mean, imagine just being molested at 5 years old and then you hear friends, you know, come on, let's keep it real. The talks that we have with friends, oh man, that stuff, man. Oh man, you're gay or you're this, you're that. And we start getting like, defensive. We're like, yo, I better not talk about that, you know, if you got molested. How are you going to talk about that? Because then people might make fun of you, which they won't make fun of you, they'll probably support you, but there's so much stigma that, you know, you got to be macho and you got to be a badass and all this stuff. Ah, man, that stuff is done, you know. So it's just, it's just so impactful right now, especially right now for me. I want to save that youth that's struggling right now so he won't get to that 60-year-old man who was in a rehab center What if we were to save these kids before they even get to that point where they're just so messed up? At 60 years old, it is going to be so hard to change a broken man. Absolutely. But at 18, whoo, there's so much hope right there.
Right. Oh, I love that. You know, Trent Shelton, I love Trent Shelton. I follow him as well. And one of the favorite, my favorite quotes that he says is, my transparency can lead to other people's transformation, right? And so Speaking to when you said, you know, you were becoming very vulnerable and this is transparent, right? So as a man, because I know vulnerability is so hard for males, much harder than it is for females, how did you dig deep and go, you know, I'm just going to lay it all out there. I'm going to let people know what I went through. How did you develop that level of vulnerability?
Oh my God. It took so many, so much courage to do that. And it just, just working on my mindset constantly and having that the support of people that were there for me and saying, yo man, I believe in you. Like, I remember I would go to MLM, uh, uh, what's it called? Uh, events. And they're like, you know, I see something special in you, man. You have greatness within you. I'm like, what? Really?
Me? Me? For reals?
Like, are you, are you seeing me?
Is somebody behind me?
I know. Yeah. No.
Yeah.
And so just having that support system was so powerful to, to be able to express myself that way.. But then another thing, I remember one time I was going to give a speech in front of like a big audience of hundreds of kids, and I was starting to think, shit, damn, like, oh my God, these kids are probably going to criticize me. They're probably going to think I'm dumb. Or I started thinking, I started having flashbacks, you know, like, yeah, like, you know, you know how when we're kids and we're like, oh look, here comes Mr. Wedgie, you know, Mr. Wedgie, he always had a wedgie, you know, and you're like, hey, 'Hey, hey, Mr. Wedgie, he's coming, watch out, watch out, Mr. Wedgie.' Yeah. And he's, 'Oh dude, look, he's got a— damn, that thing is deep in there.' And like, dude, you're— so you're thinking, 'God, am I gonna have a wedgie? Am I gonna have a booger?
Something I'm gonna have.' So just this insecurities.
And then so I call my coach and I'm like, 'Yo, hey man, like right now I'm so scared, I don't even know if I want to do this.' And he says, 'You know what, stop being so selfish and thinking about your fears and start thinking about the people you're gonna serve.' And I said Okay, yeah, I'm gonna stop being a little punk and I'm gonna go and serve these kids. And that day I remember that I gave the speech and it was so powerful that when we were leaving, when I was leaving, a young girl came up to me and she said, hey, I just want to say thank you so much for giving me your speech. I've been to 8 psychiatric homes, I've been to 5 different foster homes, my family's in Michigan, and I was going to commit suicide tomorrow.
Wow.
And then she said, but now that I heard your story, I want to talk to somebody because I feel like I'm not alone anymore. And that day we took her to the counselor and a life was saved because of that. And that was the day— I, I heard this, this quote by Mark Twain where he says that there's two days that are the most important days of your life: the day that you were born and the day you found out why. That day I found out why I was born is to Save lives.
Wow, I love that. I love that. I heard you say that on— I watched your video for— it was the NAMI.
Yeah, National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Yeah, and I was like, oh my God, that's so powerful. The day you were born and the day— because what— have you ever heard of the poem "The Dash"?
No.
Yeah, so "The Dash" is all about— sometimes it's read at people's funerals. But it's all about people pay attention to, oh, the year they were born, and then the year they died. And they never pay attention to that dash, right? And so it's like, if we spent more time thinking about the dash, you know, how much more fulfilled could we be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so I want to talk now about taking a leap of faith. You know, Steve Harvey taught— he calls it, you know, jumping. You know, I, you know, sometimes I'm like, oh, jump in the middle of the Indian Ocean, you know. And you, you know, because I'm a pro— I mean, that's really deep, you know. But I'm a person who I only allow myself to jump if I see the net. Some people can jump without even thinking that a net will appear because they're just so confident that they know it will appear. What is your level of faith? You know, how did you take a big leap of faith? What was that huge leap of faith? And how do you encourage other people to do that?
Man, that's a loaded one, huh? Dude, no, no. Yeah, what I'm thinking right now is just when I did take a few leaps and I just failed, I remember the one, the like the first leap I ever took, I was just scared shitless. I was just like, oh my God, what did I just do? I recall, I remember the first time quitting one of my jobs and I was sitting there and I was thinking, okay, after a big conference that I went to Vegas, I was like, I'm gonna quit my job, I'm gonna get my 401k out, I'm gonna do this. And then. And I got to work and I said, oh my God, I don't know if I'm going to do this. And then I started, I started listening to some audios. And then I remember sitting there and listening to Eric Thomas. And then he says, and I was listening on my break and he said, you must be willing to sacrifice who you are for what you will become. And I said, I'm quitting right now. And I went up to my supervisor. I said, hey, you know, can I, can I talk to you privately? And she says, Are you okay? Like, yeah, yeah, I just want to talk to you. And then, uh, I was sitting there and then she said, yeah, I'll be there in a little bit. And I said, man, get your ass in here already. I want to say this already. I was just scared because I was like, don't make me like change my mind. And then finally she went in there and I said, Mary, uh, I'm, I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice. She said, what? She said, are you sure? And I said, yeah. What are you gonna do? And I said, yeah, you know, just, I didn't even know what the hell I was gonna do. I don't know. But in my mind I said, no, it's because I have some new opportunities. Yeah, yeah, not really. But, uh, but I said, I said some new opportunities that came up, uh, and in my mind I was thinking I already cashed my 401k, uh, and, uh, so yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave. And she said, but the pay is good, why would you leave? It's something new. I have to— I didn't even know what I, what to say. And she said, okay, well, I'll get the paperwork And then I remember when I was driving home, I said, what the hell did I just do? Yeah, I had no idea. I had no idea what I had just done. And but I took a leap of faith. In that leap of faith, I fell flat on my face because, uh, after that I was living in fear. My 401 ran out and pretty much just had to go back to work again, right? And but, but, but now the, the leap of faith that I've been taking now have been from this leap of faith that I believe that it's going to work out for me. And it's not so much— I can kind of see the net in my mind, but at the same time, I'm not 100% sure if it's going to work out. Yeah, like the other day, uh, I got a call and then they said, hey, just to let you know, um, the funding for that big grant that we got, it might not go through. And I said It's all good. I'm gonna be all right. Yeah, I'm gonna work something out. And then just by having that faith of focusing on the solution rather than the problem is so powerful because this is no lie, about 2 weeks later I get a call and then they're like, hey, you know what, we have an opportunity for a keynote. It's virtual, pretty good pay. And I said, okay, cool, let's do it. Let's do it. And I just had some, but then what's even crazier is that weeks later, the grant people are saying, okay, hey, it looks like it's gonna be coming back, we definitely want you and all. And I said, you know what, I'm just gonna leave it all in God's hands and I'm just gonna say that, you know what, whatever happens from here was supposed to happen and there's a reason why it happened. And I'm gonna have faith that everything's gonna work out for me. I'm gonna be optimistic despite when things go wrong, despite when, you know, the 'But the stuff, you know, it gets hard.' It's all right. I'm gonna focus on service. I'm gonna serve, and that is it. And so for me to take just leaps sometimes is just— and then also what really helps me out is my coach. I have a coach who is just a badass, honestly. He has so much courage. He makes me courageous. When I'm around him, I feel like, whoo, I feel great. I feel amazing. I feel like Yeah, everything's going to work out. So just having that mentor, that coach that you see that confidence in him, man, it gives you so much confidence, has so much faith in yourself.
Yeah, definitely. So I do want to talk more about your coach and mentor, but I want to, you know, I always want to go back and unplug something here that you said. So were you married with kids when you went and had that conversation with Mary?
Uh, yeah. Wow.
How you see, because it's easier if it's just you, right? And then you're like, I can do whatever, but now you have responsibility. What did your wife say?
Well, uh, she thought it was crazy. And then, uh, and I'll be honest with you, I, we went through some tough times during that time.
Yeah.
It was really hard. It was not easy.
Right.
It was, God, now that I think about it, oh, I'm feeling it like right now. It was just not easy. We we had some, some really tough discussions, arguments. I was not in an emotional space where I could really control my emotions like I can now. And sometimes, yeah, we would get in big arguments. And oh man, that was, that was a tough time, really. It really was. But I'm so grateful that I, that I went through that suffering. Now that I look at all these things that I went through, I mean, even in high school, because I tell the kids about what I went through, you know, that I went through cutting suicidal thoughts. I went through a lot of crazy stuff like in high school, during my mid-20s, almost overdosing, all that crazy stuff. I'm grateful for it. I say to myself, I'm grateful because now I get to serve with my experiences. Yeah, with the experiences that I've been to. And now with my wife, like, it was hard, it was not easy, but mentally and emotionally, we have gotten so much better because of it.
Wow. So tell me a little bit about, you know, you have this story, you know, what was it that you leaned on? You know, because again, it just sounds, you know, cause if I'm listening to this, the first thing I'm thinking about, yeah, it's easier for him. You know, where did you pull that strength for? Cause you didn't have a coach then.
No.
You know, was it all just through prayer and, you know, because you're still married to the same woman? Yes. Perfect. So where does that strength come from? Because it just, it keeps sound easier said than done. What can someone take from this? It's like, no man, I'm in that situation right now. What can I do now?
Yeah, no. So for me, honestly, listening to audios all the time, constantly listening in my ear, Les Brown, constantly Tony Robbins. And I'm, I'm telling you, I'm addicted to audios. Every time for this morning, this morning, man, I woke up, I listened to it. I was listening to, I think, uh, who was it? Brendon Burchard, I think, or I listened to so many people. Brendon Burchard, Jay Shetty, all these guys. And so I, uh, these guys were like my mentors and my coaches when I didn't have one. And, um, also, well, like for example, with, with my wife, she, she supports with my, with the kids. She's always taking care of the kids. She's always watching the kids and she loves being a mother. She says, that's my purpose, like to be a mother and She's just so happy that she gets to just be here at home. Yeah, well, I do all this work and work that I love. Shoot, I'm— and I tell you, you know, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now because I, I love my kids. I love them, love them, love them. But the patience that she has is not even close to, uh, what I— you know, with me, I'm like, damn, like, how do you do that? It's amazing how you can do that. And so Having that support from whether it's your spouse or maybe it's your mentor, your coaches, but also having that in your ear all the time, reprogramming that subconscious. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I still have my fears creep up.
Of course.
And sometimes I have like those, that aim, that guilt, that embarrassment, and then I talk to myself and I say, wait, wait, wait, what's up with this thought? You know, where is this thought coming from? And I analyze the thoughts, I analyze what I'm going through. So anybody who's getting started, Listen to audios, reprogram your mind. Because I was talking to a man the other day who said, you know, I have to start changing what I'm listening to, man. I'm watching too many of the stuff that's going on the news. I'm watching a lot of negative stuff on Netflix. Netflix can really program your mind to think a certain way, that you have to be a certain way to be cool as a kid. I know I was raised by TV, you know, watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, watching, uh, stand-up comedy and all this stuff. That stuff can have a negative impact on you because you feel that because these guys make millions, that that's the way life is, when really it's not, right? So you have to be aware of what you're listening to, what you're watching, and who you're surrounding yourself with. I know we hear this all the time. Yeah, be careful who you hang out with, but man, it is so damn true.
It is. Stop.
Be careful. Set boundaries and say, hey man, you know what, the way you talk to me, I don't appreciate it. I would really appreciate if you could check, you know, check yourself right there. And if they don't check themselves, then you know what, you can just get rid of those people. You don't have to allow somebody to mess up your life because it all— it only takes one person to ruin your whole life. And it's like that, uh, quote that Les Brown says, one rotten apple can spoil the whole batch. One negative person can ruin your whole life, right?
Yeah, because you've now allowed yourself to be defined by that. Wow. So you keep saying— I mean, you have such, such a great Like deep story. And so, you know, I would be remiss if I didn't touch on your suicidal thoughts, you know, and I know you're a part of a group, you know, that's called Ending the Silence movement. Can you talk to that, the place where you were, and then talk a little bit about that movement?
Yeah. So when I was, uh, the suicidal thoughts came when I was in high school. So in high school I was, uh, dating a girl for years. We were dating since we were 13 and you know, this wasn't a holding hands relationship, you know what I mean? It was intimate. We were dating for some time and I'll be honest, I wasn't the nicest boyfriend. I was a kid. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I could be an ass sometimes, a lot of times actually. And then when she broke up with me, it was extremely devastating. I was just like, I was very the type of person like, no, no, it's not gonna happen. Like How is she going to break up with me? No, like I felt like I owned her type of thing. And so, and that's the thing that a lot of kids deal with is like they feel like they're entitled to a lot of things. And it's not even just kids, it's a lot of grown-ups too. But when that happened, I was devastated and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to deal with my emotions. I thought my world was falling apart, right? And I remember one time I was crying and then, uh, my dad saw me crying and coming from a Mexican family that's a big no-no. Yeah, he saw me crying, he's like, hey, don't be crying, big head. Big head, used to call me big head, you know. I'm starting to grow into my head a little bit, I'm getting there. But when my dad said that, I was extremely devastated. I was like, I felt so much shame. The shame was just huge. And I said, I'm not going to tell this guy what's going on with my life because then, you know, he'll tell me the same thing. And when we were growing up, we were always told don't be telling people what's going on with our lives. Because then people will spread rumors or criticize you. And I believed it to a certain extent, but what made me believe in it more was when I would see those conversations amongst family, when everybody was talking smack about so-and-so, and they're like, no, did you hear what he did? Oh my God, it's so terrible. Hey, how you doing?
What's up?
Right, right. You know, and they look at the other like Oh yeah, yeah, I like your shirt. Yeah, so I love it. And then, and then you're thinking, oh damn, I better not do that. Yeah, they're gonna be talking smack about me. So I kept a lot of these emotions to myself, and it just got worse. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I was kind of feeling delusional. I was starting to like— I was going crazy, honestly. Like, in my mind, I was really starting to just think to myself like, should I kill myself? I started cutting myself. I remember cutting on myself, my chest, the word die. And just, it was like, what the hell was I thinking? And I was thinking to myself, okay, what am I gonna do? Am I really gonna kill myself? And nobody knew about it, what I was suffering. Because when I would go out into the world, everything was like, hey, what's up?
Hey, what's up, fool?
Like, you know, trying to be cool. We're always trying to be cool, you know. Man, stop being such a punk, man. Yeah, you know, crybaby. And then I go home like, to yourself? Yeah, to myself, exactly. Because I don't want nobody to see me crying. Are you crying? Nah, man, something got in my eye, you know? Right. The Green Mile, yeah, that was a good movie. Yeah, whatever, man, made me cry. Shoot, I don't cry, I'm a man, right? So, but then, uh, it's like I was always wearing a mask, and but behind that mask there was a lot of depression, there was a lot of anxiety. And right now a lot of men are dealing with that and they're wearing this mask like, "I'm a badass," you know. But behind that mask, there's a lot of anger. But if you go even deeper behind that anger, there's a lot of crying. There's a lot of crying that has not been done. And behind that crying, there's a little boy just sitting in the corner needing to be healed. We've seen these grown men, you know, There's a lot of grown men that, you know, they're tough, you know, but really it's a little boy that needs to be hugged. It's a little boy that needs to be healed. And I remember a great book by a friend of mine, and I probably connected with him too, uh, Raul. He has this book called Heal the Boy, and, and I think, what is it? I'm gonna butcher it. Uh, Heal the Boy and the Man Will Appear. Oh, deep, huh?
Yeah, it is. Yeah, you gotta heal that inner child.
Wow, that inner child. So, uh, I think that's That's pretty much what I was going through with my suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, you know, I had friends that I could at least talk to. I couldn't talk about my stuff, right? But at least could just have a conversation. And just if we were able to talk to somebody, it could save so many lives.
Absolutely.
By simply talking to somebody.
Right, right. So how did you become a part of the Ending the Silence movement?
Oh, so I went to, I remember I was, this was when I first got started, kind of like doing my public speaking, trying to get out there. Just trying to put my name out there. And I remember I went to a Chamber of Commerce meeting and it was, I was sitting there with, it was like about 16 women, 16 business owners, and I was the only man there. And I was like, damn, these women are powerful. I was intimidated, man. And I remember I was sitting right next to Christina, who is, she's the executive director, and she started talking about what she did. And so I started a conversation with her. I kind of told her about my story and she said, 'Hey, maybe you could join our team and, you know, we're looking for speakers.' And I said, 'Cool, let's do it.' So, and then I talked to Judy. Oh man, Judy is amazing. I love her. She's like a, she's such an angel to me. I love her so much. I was talking to her today and then I connected with Marcy, like all these older ladies that they just—
They just love you.
They love me and I love them. And it's so awesome to be around those women who, they're always like, 'Andrés, you're doing so great.' And they're always like motivating motivating me, I'm motivating them. And so that's how I got into it. And then I just started sharing my story, right? Sharing my story. And then today I just, I'm going to be going in a couple of weeks, I'm going to be traveling to, to a, to go give my story about my, my depression, anxiety to about, I don't know how many kids, but it's going to be a pretty big crowd, you know, distance and all that is going to be there. But yeah, It has been such a blessing to be able to share my story and to save lives, literally save lives. Absolutely. That is just, yeah, so that is how pretty much I got involved with—
Perfect. Yeah, with the End the Silence. Very cool. So, you did, you mentioned that you have a Coach, you have a mentor. We all, you know, I feel like you and I have so much in common. Like every name that you said, Brendon Burchard, he has no idea, but he was The pivotal person who absolutely changed my life when I went to his, um, his High Performance Academy, when it came here to Phoenix.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. Oh, completely life-changing.
Absolutely.
Yeah. So it's one of my goals is to speak on his stage because he was that person for me.
You will.
Yeah. So yeah, I'm throwing it out there to the universe.
So, ah, yeah.
So I have a friend who, uh, You know, I'm African American. A lot of Black people don't believe in the power of a coach. And, you know, like I'd never even heard of, you know, the only coach I knew of was my high school coach, my college coach, my sports coach, you know, when I'm playing sports. And so I had a friend who said, I can't believe so-and-so went and paid $600 for some self-development. And I was like, that's it. That's all she paid.
I know. Yeah.
Yeah. You know? And so, You know, I never understood outside of playing sports the power of a mentor, the power of a coach. And you were speaking about how you're so inspired and you feel so alive, you know. Do you always have your own coach? Have you had more than one coach?
Yeah, no, yeah, I have. I have had more than one coach. And it's been, I guess, these coaches, honestly, they have been a big part of my life and they've inspired me so much. And what I'm always looking for is just like a coach who is just like at another level where I want to be. And so if they're doing something that I see that they're doing that I want to do, then I look for that. For example, like the coaches that I've had before, it was more about coaching, not so much about speaking. But the coach that I have now, well, he's a speaker and a coach. And so what helps That helps out a lot and it's just been such an amazing ride. Honestly, I consider him like a really good friend because now we're colleagues. First it was more like a coaching.
Yeah.
It's still coaching but now it's, he's seeing some, he tells me, he's like, man, I see a lot of potential in you that even I want to bring you on board to do some things with me and things like that. So that's what I've, it's been, it's crucial to have a coach I think in order for us to take our life to the next level. But we have to be inspired inspired by this Coach so that we can, you know, do what, kind of like what they are doing.
Right, absolutely. Yeah, I have gone through some, you know, several programs, but my biggest transformation was when I worked with my own Coach, and that was Christina Berkley, who just, yeah, so many, I was like, what? Is that what you see in me? Pointed out all those blind spots, you know, got me to take leaps of faith because She believed in me more than I believed in myself. And so I was always— I'm always a pretty confident person, but there again, I'm a person who needs to see the net before I jump. And so I'm working on kind of trying to meet that halfway, right? So Andres, let's talk a little bit about— I know you are— I don't know, are you a new author? Is this your first work? I want to talk about your book, Morning Warrior Secrets. And I know it comes out on— well, by the time this episode drops, it will have come out on October 20th. And I know right now it's on— it's for presale for like 99 cents, you know. Yeah. What was your motivation? Where did that come from within you to write Morning Warrior Secrets? Tell us a little bit about that project.
Cool. Thanks. Thanks for mentioning that. Yeah. So, so the Morning Warrior Secrets has been transformative in my life. I, uh, I picked up a lot of morning rituals through Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, all these great guys, and I just picked the ones that I really liked. And this Morning Warrior Secrets has transformed my life. If every day I do my morning rituals, that's why I wake up, I wake up super early. A lot of people think I'm crazy because I go to sleep at 8, so that's why I wake up at 2:50 in the morning because a lot of people are like, why do you wake up at 2:50 in the morning? Well, because I go to sleep at 8, kind of like a grandpa, like a Tata. Tata means a grandpa. I know the other day I told the guy, I was like, yeah, I'm like a Tata. He's like, dude, I was thinking about something else. I wasn't thinking about grandpa. And I was like, I know what you were thinking about. Yeah, but so I pretty much, so I wake up early and then I get it started with some incantations. So I tell myself powerful incantations, kind of like with Tony Robbins, you know, like 'Now I am the voice. I will lead, not follow. I will believe, not doubt. I will create, not destroy.' And as I'm doing it, I'm kind of doing like, boom, boom. 'I will lead, not follow. I will believe, not doubt. I will create.' And any anxiety or any kind of fear that's in me is just— I'm blasting it off, just taking it away. And, but I do affirmations. I tell myself positive things, right? Actually, you want to do something really quick?
Sure, let's do it.
Okay, so say to yourself right now, Touch your heart and then say to yourself, I believe in myself and I love myself, and breathe it in. We'll say it together. I believe in myself.
I believe in myself.
And I love myself.
And I love myself.
Breathe it in. And then I breathe out stress. How do you feel right now?
I feel great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
It's just powerful just to tell yourself something positive.
Yeah.
Just to get the day started and then Pretty much what after, what after that I do, I do some meditation. I do some yoga. I, I drink some hot water with some journaling. I do some journaling for a little bit and then I do some, some reading and then I do an intense workout for about 20 to 25 minutes and then that's how I start my day and then I'll, and then after that I take a cold shower. I've been taking cold showers for about almost 2 years. Yeah, so powerful.
Absolutely.
And so This Morning Warrior Secrets, it's a very simple book and I put it just for 99 cents because I just want everybody to get their hands on it just so it can inspire them. I also have some tools in there that I throw in there not just in the morning but throughout the day with you. And the chapters are so simple, it's like 68 pages long, each chapter is like 1 or 2 pages long, just short, sweet, and simple, right to the point. And so, and Before this, I had written a book. It was like a kind of like a chicken soup for the soul book, but this was like 4 years ago and it was called The Key to the Road Less Traveled. I could have the title wrong because it was a really long title. It was such a long time ago, but I had that and then I also wrote another book called— I don't even remember. I just spaced out and I just wrote this like months ago. How to Overcome the Fear of Death. Fearless. Fear of Death. And, uh, that one was really short, 10, and I never put that one out there, which I, I should, but, uh, I just didn't do it. But this Morning Warrior Secrets, I'm really passionate about.
Yeah.
So that's just a little bit like in a nutshell.
Absolutely.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's, yeah.
Hopefully, you know, people will get inspired by it.
Yeah. I love that. Like I do pretty much everything. I don't do the warm water, but I do everything and I cannot establish a habit of the cold showers. I mean, I will do it and then towards the end I will go cold. Like maybe 30 seconds. And I just, so I'm working on that one because I know Tony Robbins, just, you know, he talks to everybody, talks about how great it makes you feel. I know he does a cold plunge, you know? So, oh my goodness. So thank you for telling us about, you know, your morning warrior secrets. What would have to happen in your life if we're thinking not just the rest of 2020, but like starting today, a year from now, what would have to happen for this to be the best year of your life?
I love that. For me, to be the best year of my life is to have the opportunity to touch even more youth, just to get to, to, to the hearts of more youth and inspire more youth, especially now more than ever, because there's a lot of going on with the, with the pandemic. People are really stressing out, and I think our youth need us more than ever. So For me, it would be to inspire even more youth, get to them so that we can make sure that, you know, they don't fall into suicidal thoughts, that they don't fall into drug addiction or anything like that. And to be just truly present when I'm there with them, to just be fully present and just constantly just sharing my story with these kids. And so that they can see that I'm a human and that they can too. Be inspired to take their life to the next level so that if they do see that potential within them, that they believe in themselves and that they can go on to accomplish their goals and their dreams, it'll stop them from going in that negative direction.
Right.
But rather going in that direction where they can inspire other people because I'm only one person, but if I can inspire thousands of people, it's that domino effect. Just boom, boom, boom. Let's save all these lives. And it's just by helping everybody find their life's purpose. I hope No, I don't hope, I will help more people find their life's purpose this year. And that's another thing, we have to watch our language. As soon as we say, I hope, no, no, no, I will. Or I can't, no, no, no, I will try. It's possible. Les Brown said it, I can't, no, no, this side, it's possible. Right. It's possible. And for you, anybody that's listening, your goals, your dreams, it's possible. It is possible that you can do it. And I believe in you. I don't even care. I don't even know you. I don't even know you, but I believe in you because all of us as human beings, we have unlimited potential, but it starts— it's time for us to see that unlimited potential. Cause I can tell you, I believe in you, but it doesn't matter if you don't believe in you.
If you don't believe yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah. So just a couple more questions. Have you run into Mary since?
Mary?
Mary, the one you went in and said, get— you gave it 2 weeks notice.
Yeah, so no, I haven't run into her, but I do have her as a friend on Facebook.
Okay.
So yeah, so she pretty much, you know, just, you know, every now and then, like, she'll send me a message, but I have not ran into her, like, yeah, yeah. Especially now, I don't think it's gonna happen again.
Yeah, it's like, look at where I am, I did it, see, I took a leap of faith. Yeah. So, just the last two questions. I know that, I think you recently started the Legacy Coaching Academy? Yeah, tell me, you know, give us some information about that, you know, how, you know, what's the purpose of it? Who's it for? All those good things.
Cool. Yeah, so Legacy Coaching Academy, I just started this a few weeks ago, and I'm actually in the process of starting my second Legacy Coaching Academy in November, and it's, it's been amazing, honestly. We already had in the first 10 days, one of the members, she got 3 clients already. Another one is doing so, so amazing, like a lot of deep inner work. And, you know, I could go on. Like another one found pretty much their life's purpose. I just can't wait for this guy to just take off. But it's been such an amazing experience where at first I was just thinking, you know, I'm going to teach them how to coach, I'm going to teach them how to hone in on their market, um, pretty much create their offer. But what I'm really finding out is that These people, they're creating a lot of belief. Like, we're creating belief for them, and they're believing in themselves, and they're doing these Facebook Lives. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, look at this person. Like, yeah, they're amazing me. And not only am I— I thought I was going to inspire them, but they're inspiring me more than I was inspiring them. I was like, whoa, these people are on fire.
Yeah.
And so pretty much what it is, it's a 3-month program where it's for pretty much like, you know, if you're a therapist or like a speaker or like just a busy professional that is looking to maybe make some side income by serving other people and eventually becoming a full-time coach. That's what my goal is, to help them make a side income and then replacing their full-time income with this part-time thing that they're doing. And then, you know, so they can run their own calendar, be their own boss, and do work that they enjoy every single day. Every single day when I wake up, I'm excited, man. Like, I'm excited to take on the day. I am so pumped. Just every day I say, today's going to be a great day.
Absolutely.
And so what I'm helping these people is really, there's a lot of belief that's going on there. There's purpose. People are finding their life's purpose and we are creating this purpose. We are creating this beautiful, this beautiful program for them so that they can offer other people so that people can say, wow, I want that. Like, I want to be a part of this program. Because I know that they can help me. So pretty much it's for anybody who is ready to just start serving, who's always been curious. Maybe you're on this personal development journey, you're listening to audios and you're listening to courses, programs, but you still haven't done anything about it. So right here we're going to put some fire under your feet and we're going to make sure that you take action and that you inspire other people so that you can make income, but at the same time change the lives of other people and find your life's purpose. So this program is for anybody who has just been on the fence about just taking their life to the next level. If you're ready to take your life to the next level, I would love to hear from you. You know, we can have a chat and I can give you more information about the program. Uh, we also have a, uh, a page where you can check out all the information as well.
Oh, that's perfect, man. Your Dash is going to be so full, so full. Yeah. So just the final, you know, you just, you, you kind of led with it. Where can people find you and connect? You know, lay down your social handles, your tags, all those things.
Yeah, so you can check me out on ibelieveinmyself.org, and right there you can check out, uh, the Legacy Coaching Academy. We also have a group called Make Money Speaking Online with my colleague Enrique Feldman and I. We are doing, uh, it's called Make Money Speaking Online, so we teach people how to make money, uh, speaking online, obviously. And, uh, so you can check me out on ibelieveinmyself.org, or you can send me a private message at Andres Ruiz. You can friend me if you like. And, uh, also on Instagram, it's @ibelieveinmyselfcoaching. And, uh, and also you can check out my podcast if you want. It's called The Common Good Radio Show. And, uh, that's, yeah, that's pretty much it.
Sounds perfect, man. This has been so enlightening, you know, and it's nice to, you know, I know we, we've, we've communicated back and forth on Facebook, but it's nice to— I feel like you and I just sat down and had coffee, we had lunch, we had something, you know. So it's kind of nice to actually see, you know, we can't touch each other right now, but yeah, this has been very nice. Thank you for being so forthcoming and sharing your story with us. And, you know, I look forward to all the things that you're doing, and I'm going to go and get that, that Warrior Secrets.
So nice.
Absolutely. So thank you so much, Andres. If you like what you're hearing and perhaps you're interested in having a complimentary conversation with me, click the link at the bottom of the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. If you even want to know more about what I'm up to, head over to traviestewart.com. And if you like seeing the videos of the podcast, every episode is on my YouTube channel. Take care, guys.
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