How Your Feelings Drive Your Actions | Power of Emotions in Guiding Your Choices

Have you ever had a big goal or this huge list of things that you know you wanted to get done, but you just can't seem to take action to actually start moving on it? And then one day it's like you're pumped and ready to go, and like the next day you're totally stuck. Today we're talking about why that happens and how our emotions, our feelings, are actually running the show more than we realize. This is Lead with Confidence Now, the podcast dedicated to helping you grow your confidence and and live your best life. I'm Travia Steward, and for the past 27 years, I've been on a mission to help you reinvent your relationships and career. My goal with this podcast is to show up for you so that you can rock your own world with the confidence to make that big change in your life you've been wanting to make. In this rat race that we call life, and getting so many things done, and chasing your dreams, and chasing our definition of success, most people think that they just need to force themselves to get things done, even when they're not feeling motivated or they're feeling down or sad or depressed. And it's easy to think that we should just push through, and if we don't do it, it's because we're not disciplined, we don't have the willpower, we don't have standards. But you see, here's the truth. Those emotions, whether it's excitement, fear, or doubt, which I know a lot of us experience, are so very powerful. And they don't just go away because we ignore them. Because we take the action. When we're feeling excited, it's easy to dive in and take action. But it's when we're feeling discouraged or even anxious. It's like there is a brick wall, there's a brake that we put on, like when you're driving a car, and pushing through actually feels more exhausting and frustrating than actually not even doing anything. So when we want to take control of our actions, it's not about forcing it. We actually have to begin to manage how we feel, and the key here is learning to shift those emotions that keep us feeling stuck and discouraged and unmotivated. And when you learn to do that, you can get results more easily without the constant pushing and struggle. Now, I don't claim that this is something easy because I know firsthand because I've been there myself. When I first started my business, I had these huge goals. You know, I would be here by— I would be at this measurable place by this date. I would be— I will have made this amount of money. I will have this type of impact. And those things haven't necessarily happened the way I envisioned them to happen. I've always had a ton of ideas. I've always had, oh, I'm going to try this, I'm going to do that. And just like what I'm talking about in the example, one day I would be excited, and then out of nowhere, I would start feeling anxious, you know, sometimes feeling discouraged because maybe something I tried didn't work. And then I started thinking, okay, because I've tried these things before, what if it doesn't work again? Am I really cut out for this? You know, those types of thoughts would actually creep in and would make it harder for me to get anything done. But of course, I said, I'm an entrepreneur now, and I need to just push through. I'm a coach, and I don't let these things stop me. I teach other people how to do this. I also recognize that I'm human. So, When in those moments when I tried to just push through and ignore how I was feeling, forcing myself to do things, it only left me more stressed out. And you know what? Even more stuck and then even more discouraged. And so it wasn't until I realized that I didn't need to force my way through anything. I could actually shift how I was feeling. And once I learned to do that, I found that I could actually get moving on my goals, on the action I wanted to take without all of the struggle. Because the universe rewards action. It doesn't reward sitting here with the thoughts in our mind, sitting here being discouraged and anxious and stressed out. The universe rewards action. Now, when those doubts pop up, I know how to change my feelings instead of letting them control me. And I've also seen this, the same approach work wonders for my clients. One of them, you know, she had a list of things that she wanted to accomplish. But whenever it was time to get moving, whenever it was time to take action, she would feel totally unmotivated. She would end up laying in bed because she was exhausted and tired, and she ended up just procrastinating and then feeling guilty for not getting the things that she said she wanted to get done, done. She also thought the answer was to push herself harder, but no matter how much she tried to force herself to do these things, she still just kept feeling stuck. But through our work together, I taught her how to recognize the emotions that were holding her back, and I showed her how to shift her feelings in the moment so that she would feel the things she wanted to feel that would motivate her to take the actions. Once she learned to shift that thermostat and manage her feelings in the moment, she found herself getting things done without all of the stress, without feeling like she's forcing something. Now, it still comes up, but she knows how to tweak it. She knows how to shift those emotions. She's consistently moving forward on her goals and, you know, and she's someone who likes to check things off the list, so she's checking things off of her list and it's no more forcing. It's about shifting her emotions to better support her actions so that she wants to take the actions in her life. You see, these examples show us just how much our emotions actually shape what we do and how we show up. If we're feeling pumped up, we take the action without even thinking, but when we're feeling uncertain, overwhelmed, discouraged, it's easy to just hit a wall and sit there and trying to push through that wall all just wears us down. The real trick is learning to notice when the emotions you're feeling are actually keeping you stuck and then finding ways to shift them so that they support your actions instead of blocking them. So here's a little challenge for you. The next time you feel stuck or find yourself trying to force an action, I want you to take a pause and ask, what am I really feeling right now? And is this feeling helping me or holding me back? And once you recognize it, you can start making changes in the moment because when you learn you manage your emotions, your feelings, you'll find that taking action feels easier and you can finally get things done without all the struggle, without all of the struggle. Because we all have situations in life, then we form a thought about that situation. That thought that we're thinking produces a feeling. So when it goes back to, why am I not taking the action? That thought produces a feeling. Because of that feeling, we either take the action or we don't. Either way, We're still creating results laying in bed, not doing anything, not checking things off the list, still creating results, which gives us our present circumstances. So as a challenge to you, I'm challenging you the next time you feel like this, question what it is that you're thinking, and are the thoughts the cause of what's blocking you and keeping you from taking the action that you actually really want to take? So, all right, my peeps, if you want to learn more about how to do things like shift your emotions at any given moment, click the link in the notes, and let's have a conversation about how I can help you, help you better control your emotions, therefore getting the results that you actually want to get. All right, my peeps, we'll talk next week.