Stuck in Negative thinking?

Today on the Breakthrough Podcast, we are breaking the pattern of negative thinking with my guest Nicole Magic. I am Travia Steward and I want to help you move past barriers and obstacles that are preventing you from getting what you want in life. This is Breakthrough. You are someone who is stuck— and negative thinking like a CD playing the same track over and over again. If you're someone who thinks just focusing on being positive is enough to make major changes in your life, or if you even someone who keeps getting similar results in your life and who has no idea the actual impact that negative thinking has on your life, well, on today's episode, you are going to learn how to break through those patterns of negative thinking from my guest today, Nicole Magic, who awakens true potential by permanently erasing limiting beliefs and showing you how to live a life you deserve without compromising who you are or what you love. We begin right now the episode as Nicole begins telling her story of a near-death experience and that she survived that catapulted her life in the direction that it is now. And after a series of inexplicable miracles, lessons, and opportunities, Nicole shares with us right now. Stay tuned.

I did have this near-death experience, and it was so many years ago now. And so much has happened ever since then. But let me take you back to that time because it was about 2005. It was March 3rd, 2005, that I was actually driving home from Cambridge where I worked because I was in chemistry back then. And it was just a regular day. I ended up getting out of work a little bit late. And so I was an hour later than I usually am, which made me hit the rush hour traffic. And when I was driving down, it was pretty much bumper to bumper. We were going about 30 miles an hour. There's all these weird little details that you'll be like, how do you remember all that? And I'll tell you more on that in a minute. But, um, we're going about 30 miles an hour, and it was right around, um, the Mass Pike where Framingham was, was starting to, to get to be hit. And the Jersey barriers are really close to where you're driving. So there's not any wiggle room over there. And I just remembered at first looking off to the right because there was a couple cars that were down in a ditch. One of the cars was smoking and there were some people standing around. So there was a lot of rubbernecking going on from the road. So I usually, uh, at that highway, it's like you just have to pay attention. So it was, I see it, I look away, I'm still driving. And then all of a sudden my attention was brought— like, it was almost like somebody pushed my face to look to my left. And everything all of a sudden went real slow motion. And I'm looking at this woman in her car, and the driver's side door was smashed in, and she was just swaying back and forth from this impact. And she had curly dark brown hair. I couldn't see her face. Um, but her hair was all in her face from the— from swaying from this impact. And I just remembered I was thinking in fast-forward mode, but everything was going so slowly. And I remember thinking to myself, what happened to this woman? And why is that her driver's side door smashed in? And where is the other car? And how did that even happen? And then It was like something pushed me to look up. And I looked up and there was a car that was coming down and literally going to land in my lap. So I'm grabbing onto my steering wheel, looking at this guy who is screaming, and his whole face was all contorted from, you know, his, his fear. And Immediately I kind of took the, the wheel and I ducked down as far as I could go. And so I was ducking down and trying to get my head as low as I could because I saw that this guy is going to land right where my steering wheel was and his car is going to curl over my car. So it's going to smash my windshield crush the top of my car, and my neck is going to break, and I'm going to die. So as that was happening, I then saw my family. And it was like I said goodbye to every single person in my family. And then this peace came over me, and I said, okay, I'm ready. And then everything went went black. At the moment that everything faded into blackness, it felt like— and this is the only way that I've been able to describe it— is when you pull back the lever, the little thing for a pinball machine, and you let that thing go and that pinball goes flying. That's how I felt. I was just like flying through something.. And a little while later, I woke up and I was gripping my steering wheel. And I came through like, right? And I like, I took this deep breath, like I wasn't breathing for I don't know how long. And all of a sudden, my mind just came to and was on fast-forward motion going, oh my God, I almost just died. Oh my God, I should have been dead. Oh my God, am I dead? And I'm looking at the rush hour on the Mass Turnpike is usually back to back the entire way home. And there's no cars in front of me. There are no cars behind me. There's no cars on the other side of the highway except this one lone car. And I'm like, this is so surreal. And I can't even believe this. Like, am I dead? So I immediately, I don't know, like human part of me called my mom. And when she answered the phone, it was, it went something like this. Oh my God, Nikki, are you okay? I was just, I felt like I need to pray for you. And I was just praying. I usually pray for you in the morning. But are you okay? And I'm like, Mom, am I dead? And she's like, what? No, you're not dead. What are you talking about? And I told her what happened. And she's like, oh my God, you just rode the wings of an angel. I'm like, I rode through something, that's for sure. And, and I couldn't explain it. And I'm like, there's no cars on the highway. This is so weird. I feel like I'm in some alternate reality, universe, whatever, parallel universe, whatever you want to call it. And I was just trying— I remembered looking where I was, because when I came to, I was like, no cars anywhere, where am I? And there was a very particular bridge that I was— that I went under. So I remembered that. And then I'll get back to that in one second. Because after I talked to my mom, I ended up talking to my ex-husband, my husband at the time, and he, he was like, you're exaggerating. And I'm like, I know that this really sounds crazy, but I don't know what happened. Like, something switched me out of that placement. And I'm like, I don't know what happened. Somebody died. It wasn't me, and it was supposed to be me. And when I got home, I have— I will— I have to tell this part too, is that at that point in my life that this had happened, I was in a wicked depression. I fantasized about how I could die practically every moment, moment of the day. There were all kinds of things like, I could drive into that, I could drive off of that, I could do this, I could do that. But every time, I never did anything because I had these little kids that were at home waiting for me to come home, right? However, I couldn't help but fantasize about all these ways in which I could exit this life. And when this happened to me, there was nothing more that I wanted to do but embrace life. And I came home, and it felt like forever for me to get home. When I came home, I just grabbed my kids, and I hugged them. And this was 2 days before my second son's birthday. And I was just like, oh my God, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. And And, and then things were just very weird after that point, because I didn't know what had happened. I couldn't find anything on the news. And I'm like, why, why am I not able to find anything? For whatever reason, I wasn't. Some things that happened after that point where I was having massive visions,. And I would know things. All of the intuitive parts of me that I had since I was a child, it was like they were amplified 1,000 or 10,000 times. And I would get these visions. I am still seeing some of the visions from back then come to fruition even now. So some of them were like, right away. Some of them were years later, and some of them are like, you know, practically a decade later, right? And there's just so much stuff that I, I was doing some healing stuff, because I called up one of my friends, I said, can you just come over here? Because I need to do something. I need to try something. And She, she had bad fibromyalgia at the time. And that's why I called her. I said, I need to see what is going on because my hands have to do something. And she was so great because she, she laid down and I was working over her. And, and I went to where her feet were. And she's like, wow. And I said, what, what did you— what just happened? And she said, I don't know about the energy that just came flying out of my feet. It seems like you should have been like, up against the wall. Like, all right, that's kind of weird. And like, people would— I'd see things in people and they'd have pains or whatever. And I, and I would see it as like this spot or something. And I'd say, hey, can I, can I try something? Because I'm like, I'm still trying to figure out what is happening. And, and I would watch it like, go through somebody's body, and then come out of them, and then dissolve before it even hit my hand. And it would just dissolve into nothing. And I would watch it come out. And literally at the moment that it would make it exit out of the body. They'd be like, it's gone. I'm like, yeah, I know. I saw that. And just stuff, right? It's like, what is this? And it was rapid fire, one thing after another, to the point where it got— it got to the point where I, I felt like I just became another person. Which felt very weird. Because I was like, what is happening? And why are all these changes happening? But now I'll just fast forward. A year after that, one of my friends went and took another job in Framingham. And I think it was Framingham. But she called me up one day and she said, Nicole, I need to tell you this story. And they were sitting around at lunchtime and somebody had brought up what had happened the year before. And that there was an accident right at the line, right at the mark that I was— that happened to me. And some guy hit a woman and went up over the Jersey barrier and landed on the opposite side, on top of another woman driving her vehicle. And they both died. Right? It's like, what? And she's telling me this, I'm like, oh my God. That's what happened. And that's exactly what I saw happen. And yet, Somehow I escaped through whatever this wormhole or whatever you want to call it. I don't even know that to this day it is still this mysterious thing that happens to me, but it changed my entire life with so many things and being able to just embrace myself, my own authenticity, and just keep moving forward in impacting lives.

Wow, girl, that story, like, holy smokes, like, it gave me chills. I mean, especially when your friend saw it on the news and that was exactly what you had seen. And, you know, people have breakthrough stories, but holy smokes, Like, I don't even— like, how do you even wrap your mind around, like, is it divine guidance? Is it like, get out of this depression, this is what you're here to do? You know, like, when did you begin to go, oh, I've got a bigger, deeper purpose on this earth, and it's not, you know, doing the thing I've been doing. This is the work I was brought— I mean, was it through the energy work? What was that deciding moment of you going I'm breaking out of this crap right now.

I think it was the vision after vision after vision after vision. And I kept seeing these things and being guided. Like goddesses, and, you know, like, all these different avatars, I'll just say, right, of whatever, guides, goddesses, just things that help deliver messages, right? And I just kept receiving these messages, messages, messages, and things that I've never seen before, symbols I've never seen before. I would go and look them up. And it's like, oh my God, that's exactly what I saw. And that's exactly what I felt that it meant. And it was just cascading of all this stuff. And then there was one time I do remember very vividly that my son— oh, I kept like, I had this impulsive, uncontrollable thing that I had to buy these crystals, right? So I was buying these crystals online. What am I even doing? It was like I couldn't control myself for certain things. And it was all part of what was unfolding and just being able to tap into so many different facets of intuition and divine guidance. And my son— I bought like a mix. I had an assortment of crystals. And my son, who was 3 at the time, we had— he had— he's like, Mom, what is this? And I was super exhausted. And I was just kind of sitting on the couch, like, 'Here I am.' And, and I said, 'You know, I don't know. I don't, I don't really know.' And when I went, 'I don't know,' and I put my hands up and out, and he dropped it in my hands, and I'm like, 'Oh, that's Chrisoprase, and that means this,' and blah blah blah blah blah, and I spit out all this stuff. And I'm listening myself say it, and I'm going, 'What is happening?' Because I'm not even saying that— like, I don't even know any of this stuff. And I said it. And then I said, yeah, it would be a good stone for you. And then I went, oh, I don't even know how to spell chrysoprase. What is that? I've never heard of that. I don't know how to spell it. And I went and I looked it up, and good thing for auto correction on the computer, and it spelled it for me. And I looked it up and I was like, oh my God, it does all the things that it does.

Yeah.

So I think it was just like this. I was just fascinated with what I was tapping into on the regular. And I just felt like, that's how I want to live my life. That's— I want more. And I want to be able to show people how that is and what that means. And, and that's, that's literally— I had, I had decided that I was going to show people one of my gifts of being able to see auras by, by utilizing the aura and doing the readings and showing them and using a special camera and showing them. So that's really how I started to step into it. And through through doing that for people was really how I connected with people's energies on a deeper level and showed them how to get out of stuff that was causing chaos, causing the, the distress, and causing all these different negative emotions within them and holding them back. Because I would see it. And then I would give them something. I couldn't let somebody walk away from me who had an issue without giving them a technique to at least start shifting it. So that's— and then people started asking, do you do one-on-one coaching? Do you do this? Do you— will you do this workshop? Will you teach us this? And it was just one thing after another. And I just constantly kept stepping into it.

Yeah, so powerful. And being a Coach myself, I know that a lot of people are like, we teach the thing that we need to learn the most, right? And so I want to go back to your bout with depression. And I know that you are limiting beliefs. You teach on this. This is a lot of your foundation in your coaching. What role do you think that thinking, the depression, led to you getting like knocked out into the universe and going, enough already. What was the role, right? Talk to that.

Oh my God, because when I think back to that and I forget, I forget that I had that depression. And really the only time that I remember I had that massive depressed, like constant state, mood, attitude, behavior, what is when I tell this story, and I'm like, oh yeah, I was depressed, right? Because we're not meant to, we're not meant to hold on to pain. So going back to being in that space, it was, I was constantly in survival mode. There was like everything to worry about. There was just this— the situation that I was in was just horrible at every turn. And I also grew up in this space of, you know, we don't talk about this, we don't, we don't talk, you shouldn't talk about that, because that's, you know, of the devil or whatever, energy and hearing spirits and, you know, just knowing things and and stuff. So it was, who am I? What, what can I say? So I had to be someone else to fit in, is, was my perception, at least, you know, whether, whether they meant it that way or not, that's how it came across. And I, I very much would close up in my throat. I hated my voice. And there was just all these things. And I started doing work on myself back when I was, you know, 12, 13 years old, because I was tired of certain things about me that, you know, tired of being so shy and tired of being afraid to be wrong, to raise my hand in class, you know, and just stuff like that, where I'd psych myself out and like, I'd get panic attacky and, and anxious and make myself do it. And then it's like, oh, that wasn't so bad, right? But, and then the next time comes, it's the same thing. Oh my God. And then, oh, that wasn't so bad either. And then after doing it so many times, it's like, oh, there's no thought about it anymore. So being in that state of depression, it like, it was like postpartum that carried through. And I didn't realize at that postpartum stage that, um, that it just— that you don't even notice it. And that's— I want to say that's the scary thing, but it's not really that scary. But that can be the scary thing for people, because if you don't even know that you're depressed and you're just like subconsciously behaving, thinking feeling certain things, and you don't identify it as depression because you're like, I'm not depressed. Yeah, but I was.

Yeah.

And then it consumed me. So I don't know if I even answered the question, but, um, I just— I felt like being in that state of constant survival mode.

Yeah.

Um, and I always wondered, you know, what, what am I here to do? Right? What am I here to do? And at that, at that point, it was, you know, is this what you really want? Or is this what you really want? Is kind of what I felt like the universe said was, all right, here's your chance.

But you weren't asking that question until that day on the, on the interstate, right? The turnabout. What was it? The turn? The New Jersey Turnpike. You weren't asking that question. So when people are in a depressed state, because we, you know, we all know our thoughts create our reality, right? And so you didn't even know to ask those questions. So for someone who was in that and they don't have, my goodness, the breakthrough story that you just told, right, where somebody's going, look girl, get your shit together, this is what you're here to do. They don't have that. It's a whole lot more subtle and they're deep in it. So let's talk to someone who their thoughts are creating the reality. They're depressed and that's all they can see. We're not excited for Monday. How did you recognize it without it? Like, like even speaking to some of your— the clients that you work with, especially with the depressive thoughts and breaking through that, that barrier.

Yeah, because it really is, um our thoughts, our beliefs, right? They're pretty subjective.

Yes.

Because I could believe something about myself. And you could be saying the complete opposite, right? Yeah. And, and this happens all the time. So it's more of getting into that space of, well, what is true? Because a belief isn't the truth necessarily, right? Right. Most of the time it's not.

Yeah.

And we can choose to believe whatever it is that we want. And when we are choosing to believe something that is, you know, subconscious, negative, those types of things Uh, most times we just need somebody to change our belief, to help us adopt a new belief.

Yeah.

And it can be as simple— so there's different, you know, like the tentacles of beliefs. I liken them to jellyfish, you know, you've got these tentacles, some are really long and some they're stingy.

Yeah.

But when you can pluck them out, you know, it renders the jellyfish harmless, right? And—

oh, that's a good metaphor.

I love that, right? And so when we have these long little tendrils that— and tentacles, whatever you want to call it— and just they come at us and they're embedded, how deep do they run, right? Because some things you can be like, oh, well, I'm not really sure. Something could happen to you and And you're like, I'm not really sure that, but maybe this. And it's kind of like, well, yeah, I think that. And then you kind of say, okay, yeah, that's, that's the case. They don't really like me because I have blonde hair, whatever. Okay, we could, we could say that. But if there's something else that's deeper in there, that's more of a core belief that is, it's rooted. Right? Then it could be that, oh, I can't go talk to those people because, you know, I don't belong. I don't do well in groups. I'm super awkward. And people just don't like me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. And then you get all weird and awkward. And then you just did. Right. And, and then But is that really the case? Are you weird and awkward, or are you like— some people might be like, oh, that's so different, that's super freaking cool. Yeah, you're the one who's making it weird and awkward, right? Because of your belief.

Yeah. So what do you, what do you say to someone who goes, you know, because we've all heard this, this, this, uh, this information, like these answers: just think positive, you know, just, just think positive, girl. I know you're depressed, but just think positive.

What do you say to that? I want to say, right, because, yeah, okay, what the F does that mean, right? Like, hey, bad day, just think positive. It's like, yeah, let me smash your hands with a hammer and then be like, that doesn't hurt. Yes, stop it, that doesn't hurt. That's— it's the same thing. Let me, let me bash your bones, and then tell you, don't worry, it doesn't hurt, or it won't hurt forever.

Yeah, right.

Right. So it's, it's kind of, you know, I want to say get a brain and be a little compassionate about people because we knee-jerk react that way because of programs. So if you're somebody that's out there that finds yourself saying that stuff, whether it's to yourself or to other people, um, you know, there's power in positivity, but positivity done right. So number one, we don't want to be toxic positive, because you know what, when you feel like shit, acknowledge it. It's okay. It's okay to feel through it and process it, right? And, and be okay with that. Let people know. Because guess what? If I, if I let somebody know, if I picked up my phone right now and text my friend and said, you know, I really feel like shit today, my friend would be like, what can I do? How can I support you? That's, that is what I would receive back. How can I support you right now? What do you need from me? What can I provide to you to help you in whatever way that means for you? Because it's not, well, just think positive because that's going to make everything better. It's not, right? Processing through the emotion is super important. And here's a kicker, right? Because I love this part, is when we process through emotions, we might feel something. When we feel something negative, we don't want to feel that, so we try to do things that will help us get out of it. And sometimes we do another negative thing like, oh, I'll just be in denial over it, or, oh, I'll just procrastinate because that makes me feel uncomfortable. And that's not what we want to do. But when we feel something like, that just made me so angry, and I'm like, I'm huffing and I'm puffing and I'm pacing and I'm doing whatever. Well, that's part of the process, right? So a huff and puff and become aware what is happening in the body. Where are you feeling it? Because we also need to acknowledge where it goes. It's important, right? We store it in our cells, right? So when it happens over and over again, when it has to do with a belief we— it's— we are storing it in different places in our bodies depending on what that is.

Yeah.

And I love this part where our emotions are meant to be processed through in 90 seconds or less, right? Yeah. When I say that, people go, what? Because when it ruins your day You're in a mood. You have allowed yourself to ruminate enough to keep it going to create a mood, right? When your mood extends over days and, you know, weeks and whatever, it becomes your attitude. Yeah. And then what are you attracting around you when your attitude becomes based off of that emotion? In that mood and it escalates to the attitude, it— you behave in certain ways and you create a reality off of that negative emotion that you really don't want to feel. Yeah. And now you're living in it, you're bathing in it, you're like, yeah, yes, I know.

Wow, that's so good. I love how you put it. So What is the Nicole magic answer once you realize, hey, I— it's— this is what happens to me when I'm ticked off. I know that I keep going to this place in, in, in my past, and it's stored in my body. What is the Nicole magic answer for breaking that pattern of negative thinking?

The Nicole magic answer is, first, you have to have the awareness, right? So get yourself into that space of being able to Be aware of it, acknowledge it, feel through it. Because I'll kind of take you through what my process is. If something aggravates me, I say, woo. Usually I get happy. I'm like, woo, what is this? Like, woo, he gets processed through something, right? So if something happens to me, I stop. So just stop what you're doing and think and feel. Allow yourself to feel it. It's like where I usually ask myself, okay, what just happened? I try to find the trigger. What triggered me to initially have this feeling? And usually we have a feeling and a thought. So what is the thought that comes up? Like, what was that thing that just went, you know, and made me angry? And then where is it in my body? Where am I? Where am I feeling it? Anger, sometimes with huff and puff, because why? Anger goes through the lungs, right? Anger in the lungs. And, and then it's okay, process through that. Now, now I go back to my trigger. What triggered— what did it— was it all me? Was it something that I did? Was it something that somebody else did that triggered me? Because it's not about them, it's about me. Right? What if somebody else did something or said something and then it got me going? I processed through what was that thing, because where did— where does it go back to? Because it's usually not about what they said. Something gets triggered and it brings you to somewhere in the past, like you said, right? Where am I going in the past? So where do I go in the past and what does that mean for me? And then I go through this whole process I've got these, you know, steps, 8 steps for that. But it's basically from that awareness point all the way through to, okay, now I found what it is. Well, this is a piece of shit. It's going out the window. Yeah, right. So we're gonna take it away. And then I, you know, you, you validate or invalidate things. And what is the truth? And the truth is that that's a lie. And if that no longer is true for me, I can now state that and say, well, this is no longer true for me, and what do I want to put in place of it? And I come up with something that I replace that with, and then I give that thing a big hug and adopt that belief and say, yeah, because that's what is true.

So beautiful, so beautiful. So as we begin to wrap up, Nicole, had you not had that rebirth on that day on the New Jersey Turnpike, where would Nicole be today?

Geez, I don't know. That would be an interesting, um, little, uh, choose your own adventure. Yeah, we probably— you'd probably reach the dead end. You'd probably reach the dead end and be like, oh, you just got eaten by the monster.

Wow, I love that. So what is the work that you do with your clients? Now that you know your deeper purpose, what is the work that you're here to do? And let— and share with my audience how, if they're interested— I, I'd have to have you back to talk about this energy, seeing people's aura. I'm so intrigued by that. So tell us a little bit about the work that you do today, and if somebody's interested, how they could too work with Awesome.

The work that I do with people is I usually start off the same way. I have a very particular process no matter how short or long that you work with me. So I have— things are very customizable for, for you in what you want to create in your life. So I typically take people through an assessment that I look at some core beliefs and then I rank them. So there's about 10 of them that I go through and then I rank them in the order of which seems to be your most— your biggest shitstormers, right? Yeah. I don't know how to say it. The biggest chaos makers. And then we start tackling that. So then I do like this little mind map with you and ask you to tell me stories about some things. And then I show you It maps out all this stuff and the spider web that it creates in your entire life. And then we create, um, we, we kind of go through what is the belief that we've deduced now is like this biggest culprit that we want to attack. And then we're going to attack it, we're going to erase it, and we're going to reframe it and replace it. And that's really That's really the biggest part of it. The— and then there are different things that can happen based off of what the belief is, what the trigger is. And I also talk about codependent triggers with people so that you know what to expect when we do erase something and how it, um, changing you changes people around you in a positive way. Yeah, right. So I, I love saying, okay, now if this is the case, watch for this. Because when you have the awareness and can sit there and, and watch something unfold that actually ripple effects into somebody else's life in a positive way, it's, it's amazing to be able to, to be sitting there in that awareness while it's happening to you and around you. So I, I give them that, and then it's really based on what is it that you want to do with all of that, because that's really the breakthrough piece. Is, um, it's kind of like my Empower Package. Yeah. And then there's a follow-up that goes after that, because when things start shifting, it's almost like, ooh, you know, like those potato chips, you can't just have one. You now you're like, oh well, I have this other belief, it needs to go, it's got to go. And then you start to, you start to be able to shift things very rapidly on your own because, because then you start learning the different techniques that I use for different things. And so that's so good.

This is powerful work that you're doing because, you know, I, I'm moved by your story that you shared. I'm moved by how you show up in the world. I just love it. So guys, I will put in the show notes everything about getting in touch with Nicole. Nicole makes magic, right? Nicole magic. And so, but it would be so great if you could go to her website and take the limiting beliefs quick quiz, and it's so insightful. I actually have— the day we first connected, I went, took that quiz myself and went Right? Yeah, yeah, you know, and we're aware of a lot of things, but it's just like, ooh, look at that insight. Still dealing with stuff.

And it's so amazing that when you, when you peel back the layer and then, then you realize, oh, where did you come from? Like, where did you come from?

Yeah.

And then, and now, now it's— you start looking at it in such a different way that I say when seemingly negative things happen, they're just, they're just flares. That's it. It's a flare to say, hey, look at me. You can change this.

Absolutely. You can totally change it, right? Because ever at any moment in our life, we're one decision away from making a different choice. That's it.

Oh yeah. All right.

I make it seem so easy. Nicole, this has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your depth of knowledge with us today.

Anytime.

Perfect. All right, thank you so much for listening to the podcast, and I hope you're finding this information valuable and helpful to help you create your best life, to break through those barriers. If you're enjoying this podcast, I would love it if you would like and subscribe to Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast, whether that's on Spotify or Google Playlists, and also on my YouTube channel. If you like seen the videos of these podcasts, please click below to the subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. All right, my peeps, take care.