The 3 Questions You Must Ask Before Speaking | Unlock with 3 Questions | Excellent Communication

Have you ever said something that you wish you could take back? You said something to someone, you know, maybe you were just being honest and it came out like at the wrong time. It didn't land right, it wasn't received the way you thought it would be received. And this could be even if we're talking about at work, on social media, you know, with a partner, with your friends, because let's be real, what you say can either lift someone up or can really tear them down. Because here's the thing, a lot of people think being honest means you should just say whatever is on your mind at any in all given times whenever you feel like it. Because some people are like, I'm just being real with you and I'm just honest. And we've all heard that. But here's a different way to think about it. You see, honesty is important. A level of integrity is important. But responsibility for your words and for what comes out of your mouth is just as important. So just because it's true doesn't mean it needs to be said right now or at all. I was catching up with one of my friends, one of my homies who she had been going through a lot of stuff and honestly, she shared with me. She was very vulnerable with me, and I could have easily put my coach hat on, given her some advice. To be honest, I had opinions, I had perspectives, I had thoughts about what she was doing to begin with. I had thoughts about how this was going to turn out. But who would I have been had I been someone who picked a scab, metaphorically speaking? Am I gonna say the rudest shit that I'm thinking about that picks a scab that causes some bleeding and causes this friendship? Am I gonna say, I told you so? I told you not to leave here. I told you not to do that. I told you not to start that business. When are you going to give that up? Who needs to hear those kinds of things when they're sharing vulnerably? But instead, I paused and asked, do you want me to just listen because you want to just be heard? Do you want to be hugged? Or do you want to be helped? She just wanted me to listen. And so having the wherewithal to take that pause in that conversation, in that day that we were hanging out and catching In that moment, I knew the answer was no. I didn't need to say anything because she did not need me to fix her problems or even to give me advice. She just needed someone to actually listen because we don't realize how precious it is when someone is just listening like you are the only person on the face of the earth and nothing else going around, going on around you matters because they are just listening. That's what I did. I just listened. And when we started wrapping up, she actually thanked me for, for being there. There and for just listening and not for providing any words of wisdom, just for being there. And that's when I realized that I was so glad that I asked what she wanted from me, because in that situation, the best thing to do was not to say anything at all. So here's the takeaway: when we speak, when you speak, I want you to think about how and when you say something, because it's not always about just being truthful. It's about using some wisdom, some common sense with your words. And whether you're talking to your partner, your friends, posting something online, I want you to ask yourself these 3 things. Does whatever I'm about to say, does this really need to be said? Number 2, does it need to be said right now? And number 3, does it need to be said by me? And so when you pause and ask these, these 3 questions, you're not just blurting stuff out. You're taking responsibility for how your words will land. And I believe that that is what being honest and demonstrating integrity is all about. Being mindful of the impact that your words will have on the person you're talking about. Here's a little challenge for you. So the next time you're in a conversation, whether it's at work, whether it's your partner or friend, whether you're on social media about to post something online, but before you hit post, I want you to pause and ask yourself those 3 questions because I want you to be intentional with your words. Because trust me, the more aware you are of the power of your words and what comes out of your mouth, the better your relationships will be at home, at work, really everywhere. All right, my peeps, if you felt this conversation, I want you to please share it with someone who could use this as a reminder. And remember, we don't have to just say the first thing that pops into our mind. We want to choose our words with care. So share this episode with someone else that you think could find value in it because it also helps grow the podcast and it helps more people to be able to find it. And as I close, if you want some help with navigating conversations, with being intentional, I want you to click the link that's in the show notes and I will give you a free strategy call that I actually charge for, but I'm going to waive the fee for the first 10 people. And it'll be a 30-minute strategy call, and we can see how we can communicate intentionally and how we can begin to create the life with a level of confidence that we really want. All right, my peeps, we'll talk next week.