The Real Reason You Can't Start | It's Not Laziness

What if I told you that procrastination isn't just about being lazy, but it's actually a form of self-protection? We've all been there. We've told ourselves, "I'll do it tomorrow, I'll get to it later," only to find out that later, tomorrow, someday never comes. But here's the truth: procrastination is less about time and more about fear, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of, you know, the unknown. And that's exactly why it's time to stop letting it control you and start taking action on it today. This is Lead with Confidence Now. I'm your host, Travia Steward, reinvention expert with over 27 years of helping people decide who they want to be and then live into that. Today we're going to unpack why procrastination keeps showing up, what's really— it's what it's really protecting us from, and how you can take small intentional steps to finally break through it. Yo, what's up, my peeps? Happy Podcast Thursday. This question this week comes from one of my clients, and the question that we coached on a couple of weeks ago was, how can I stop procrastinating on the things that I say I want? And that can look like, you know, some goals that, that can look like you want, you know, to drop a certain amount of weight. You want to run a certain time on like a marathon, a walk, you know, you want to finish a project, a task, something like that. When we say we want these things, how do we prove it to ourselves that we do and get ourselves in action? The first thing that I want to talk to you about, you know, it's 3 things. We want to start with knowing and figuring out what truly matters, what will truly move the needle, like knock one domino over and, and, and maybe knock some others over. When we're talking about procrastination, it's not that we don't have enough time. I believe that we don't prioritize things differently. Like, we, a lot of us make these to-do lists and we go, oh, there's 22 things on my list and they're all of equal importance. When you look at 22 things on your list, hell, that's overwhelming. And then we try to do everything at once and then we go, okay, let's just start at the top from, I wrote number 1, so let's go in order. Now, by the time you get to 11, you're so overwhelmed, and maybe some of those things that are more important aren't even the first things. Because usually when I used to write a to-do list, that to-do list was like, okay, I'm gonna get up in the morning, I'm gonna pray, I'm going to meditate, I'm going to stretch, I'm going to work out, I'm going to shower, I'm going to eat breakfast. I whatever it is, right? Those things are things that I'm going to do anyway. So I'm not going to put those things on my to-do list because that's my identity. And that's, that's a given. And so what I want you to think about is what is it that you want to accomplish? You know, like if it was in 30 days, let's start breaking it down from a month to weeks, to today. We want to talk about beating procrastination today, because when we talk about that list of 22, I used to be that person. I used to be that person that, you know, was juggling so many things until I really sat down and said, okay, what do I want to accomplish by the end of the day? What do I want to go, yep, that is completed? Not something that, you know, can't be measured, That's completed. Like for one, number one, my podcast episodes drop on Thursdays. So generally I begin thinking about what my next podcast episode is going to be about usually Sunday or Monday. Sometimes I record it on Monday. Sometimes I record it Tuesday or Wednesday, but I know that one of the things that has to be done is I record this podcast, podcast episode by Wednesday so it can drop on Thursday. Well, I know that that truly matters because I love podcasting and I love providing this, these, this, this platform for you that I hope is helping you in so many different areas of your life. When I recognized that instead of making a list of 22 things that I really started, you know, making the shift of going, what is it that I want to accomplish by the end of the day? Then I started making my list a little differently. And instead of 22 things, I now broke it down to like 3 things, sometimes 2 things. Like whenever I'm getting ready to do a big talk or, um, like a workshop or something, then it may be just the one thing on my list that day to complete the first draft of my talk, to complete, you know, the final draft, whatever that thing is. So it may be just one thing on my to-do list, but I do like having a list.. But the important thing about having that list is not to put everything on it, but to prioritize what is most important, what's going to move the needle, you know, further than anything. And we don't want to put the things that, you know, we would normally do anyway that are part of your identity. We want to think about what we want to accomplish. And at the end of the day, when we put our heads on the pillow, it's like, what did I get accomplished today? Did you know that we are not created to live with the amount of self-doubt? That many of us struggle with today. This self-doubt is not something that we were born with. It was— it's been passed down through generations, shaped by the beliefs and perspectives of those who came before us. But here's the truth: none of us have to stay here. You don't have to stay stuck there. That's why I created this free challenge designed to help you reinvent yourself, reinvent your thoughts and beliefs, and reinvent your mindset. It's time to help you let go of the old stories that no longer serve you and discover who you truly want to be. In just a short period of time, I'll help you uncover the beliefs that are holding you back, and I'll show you how to break free from them so you can step into the life that excites you and fulfills you. If you've been craving more out of life, more purpose, more confidence, that promotion, whatever that is, this challenge is your chance to make that shift. And the best part is it's absolutely free. It's absolutely free. Click the link in the show notes to join the challenge and start your reinvention journey today. I'm only taking 10 people. So the first people who sign up, let's go. Now, the second part, after we prioritize what's important, now we want to talk about how do we make it manageable, right? I mentioned a few minutes ago about breaking it down. And so, so many times in life, you know, we don't want to do this thing. We're procrastinating because of fear, because of, you know, sometimes it's the time it will take. Sometimes it's we say we want this thing and then it's the fear of going, oh my goodness, what if I really do it? Is that something that people are going to continue to expect of me? What if I actually reach that goal? What will people think of me then? Do I really want to be there? Are we fearing failure? Are we fearing, you know, I don't know if I'm cut out for this. I don't know I can do this? What if I actually fail with this? And so when we start thinking about those things, which is, you know, the thoughts and perspectives and the conditioning that's keeping you stuck, keeping us stuck in procrastinating, again, it becomes overwhelming when we allow these thoughts to dictate our actions. Because in this moment, we want to break it down into bite-sized, actionable You know, steps and chunks and pieces rather than this big old pie. You know, you eat the pie one bite at a time. You don't just shove the whole pie in your mouth. Well, I hope you don't. So I remember when I created my first website and I just remember going, you know, I would look at other coaches and speakers' websites and I'd go, oh my goodness, their website has, you know, 8 pages. It was so overwhelming to begin with. And so what I did was, you know, I would start and I would try to do all the things. And if it was— and if this website had 8 pages, I wanted my website to have 8 pages. And then I would try to do all 8 pages at once. I'm gonna do a little bit on page 2, I'm gonna do a little bit— oh, now I'm gonna write the About section, now I'm gonna write the courses, you know. And it was just overwhelming. And you can hear in my voice as I relive it, just how overwhelming it really was. Breaking it down, when it really came down to it, like, like even right now I am redoing some parts of my website. Like I have put my podcast episodes on my website instead of, you know, just keeping them in, uh, Libsyn, my podcast platform. I'm doing one page at a time and I'm setting a goal with small, intentional, actionable chunks, and I'm not trying to change the whole website in one day. I'm not trying to change the whole website in a weekend. I am breaking it down into manageable pieces and just doing it one thing at a time and not the whole, the huge project. And I'm not even putting pressure on myself to do that. And so, because with these steps, we want to set ourselves up to win. And so knowing how you work, I know how I work, that I, I still have a tendency to get overwhelmed pretty quickly, especially if I'm taking on too much. That's why I learned to break it down. I learned that make it manageable so I can give myself some wins, so I could look back and go, boom, I did that. Boom, I accomplished that. And so the third thing, because there's so many times where like I say I want this thing, I say I want to do it, but we don't take the action because we don't prioritize. And we don't make it manageable. So when we want to get something done, when you want to get something done to keep you from procrastinating and you actually want to take steps on this thing, I want you to just go— like, it's kind of like going to the gym. Just go 5 minutes. I'm going to sit down and I'm going to do 5 minutes. Like, for instance, if you don't want to go to gym, you're like, Hey, anybody can go to the gym for 5 minutes. I can get on the bike for 5 minutes. You probably will stay on the bike longer than 5 minutes because it really is in sitting down and deciding to do it. Because once you're there, I believe you will do it. It's in making the decision to do it to begin with. So set a timer, go, you know, I'm committing to be here for 5 minutes. I'm committing to do this thing for 15 minutes. If it's a speech you have to write, if it's a project you have to write, if it's Cleaning the kitchen. I'm committed to doing it for 10 minutes. And when 10 minutes is up, whether you continue or not, you've at least been able to do it for 10 minutes and you can count that as a win. And then maybe, you know, if it's the kitchen, if it's this big project, set another 10 minutes for the next day or in the next hour. But you want to figure out how you work. Prioritizing what's important, breaking it down into small pieces, and then just set a timer for like 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And so there is no pressure for finishing the whole thing. You just wanna, you just wanna get started. You know, again, it's like the website. It's like working out. You know, whenever I go, I love working out because I love the way I feel after I've worked out. I don't love working. I don't love how it feels when I'm actually working out. When I go, okay, I'm just going to do my 30 minutes of cardio. Well, by the time I'm finished with my 30 minutes of cardio, I look and go, okay, I've got another 30 minutes. I'm going to pump some weights right now. I love it on the weekend when I go, okay, today, because I don't want to be in there for, you know, 90 minutes because, you know, going to the gym is, it takes a lot of time and the benefits are great. I recognize that. But sometimes I go, okay, I did cardio all week. Today I'm going to go and strength train. I'm not going to do cardio. Well, sometimes I'm like, hey, when I get to the gym, maybe I'm only going to strength train, strength train for 30 minutes. I'm only going to lift weights for 30 minutes, even though I originally said I was only going to do strength training. But once I got there, I'm like, hey, I can do more than I thought I could do. I feel better than I thought I did. I feel better than before I walked into the gym. That's what I want you to think about. I believe if you just start, if you just decide and commit to the 5 minutes, the 10 minutes, the 30 minutes, whatever it is, you'll find yourself continuing beyond that. And even if you don't continue beyond that, you can still celebrate the progress that you made. Let's review real quickly. So first, I want you to prioritize what really matters, what really is going to move the needle. Second, break down that big task into smaller bite-sized pieces that are manageable. And then finally, have the intention that you're only going to do this thing for like 5 minutes, 10 minutes. Just go, okay, I'm going to set a timer, then I'm going to get to the gym. I'm only going to do 5 minutes. I'm going to clean the kitchen. I'm only going to do 10 minutes. I'm going to do such and such. These 3 steps will help you beat procrastination and actually help you to start making real progress on that thing that you say you want. Now I want you to think about what's the one thing that you've been putting off in your life. Is it a big goal? Is it something that you said you want? I want you to choose one task, prioritize it, break it down, and then set a timer that, you know, I'm going to decide I'm going to commit to doing this for 5 minutes and start it today. Not tomorrow, not someday, not this weekend, not later. Start it today. Reach out to me, let me know how this goes, because my peeps, I'm here to support you. All right, thanks for tuning in to Lead with Confidence, and remember, small steps will lead to big results. We just have to continue doing it with intention. All right, my peeps, until next time, we'll talk next week.