Vanessa Van Edwards breaks down 97 specific signals you send without thinking. Too much warmth gets you interrupted and undercut on numbers. Too much competence makes you seem cold. Learn to dial each one up or down to match the room.
My mission— I think it's why I was put on this earth— is to help you take control of your signals. You know exactly how you're coming across to others, and it's not by accident. You're not accidentally undersignaling, or worse, accidentally showing an imbalance and wondering, why are we not taken seriously? People who signal high in warmth are interrupted more in meetings. They get more pushback on their numbers when they ask for salary or raise. They have a harder time closing in sales and negotiations. Or you signal too high competence without enough warmth, and people take you very seriously. People say that you're intimidating, cold, hard to talk You can't make friends, you can't click with people, people have trouble trusting you, they think you're smart. I want to take control of those signals, and then the bonus of that is once you begin to learn— there are 97 signals for warmth and competence— you also can decode people better. So you show up in a room and you can say, wow, this is a very high competence room. I have the choice to dial up competence to match if I want to, or the choice to dial up warmth if I have to. I think that control gives us a lot of confidence, and I think it's the antidote to awkwardness.
