Dr. John Gottman studied thousands of couples over 30 years and found one expression predicted divorce: contempt, a one-sided mouth raise that signals scorn and superiority. It's the strongest predictor of whether a marriage will fail.
The couples that had gotten divorced, there was one single predictor. Amazing research by Dr. John Gottman. He's a marriage and family counselor up in Seattle. He wanted to know, is there a predictor of divorce? He did a massive experiment with many, many couples, and then he followed them for 30 years. In the video interview, one member of the couple showed contempt towards the other. Contempt is a one-sided mouth raise, sometimes known as a smile. This is not a smile. A contempt smirk is not a smile. It is most often mistaken for boredom, apathy, or half smiling. It could not be further from the truth. When someone shows contempt, they are thinking they're scornful, full of disdain. There's a little bit of haughtiness to that expression, like, I'm better than this, I'm better than you. And so I think that contempt is an opportunity, and it should not be mistaken for happiness. And that, I think, was the killer of marriages.
