Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

Cat and Dog Personality Blind Spots!

25 Sept 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:48

In this short YouTube reel, Vanessa Van Edwards challenges the simplistic gender‑based analogy that men are "golden retrievers" and women are "mysterious cats." She proposes a more nuanced view: there are two primary conversational archetypes—"dog" types who are eager, excitable, and constantly seeking external validation, and "cat" types who are more aloof, holding back and wondering if they like the other person. Vanessa explains that each style has blind spots: dog‑type conversationalists need to learn to give others space and respect introverted pacing, while cat‑type conversationalists need to offer a bit more reassurance because others may fear they are disinterested. She reassures viewers that they are likable as they are and do not need to chase validation, encouraging self‑acceptance and awareness of these conversational blind spots.

Chapters

I've often heard that men are described as being golden retrievers and that women are described as being mysterious cats. I don't think it's so simple. In fact, this idea is what spurred my idea to do a really funny reel on cats versus dogs in conversation. I think that there are 2 types of conversationalists. Dog folks are eager and excitable and they so wanna know you and they're constantly wondering, do you like me? Do you like me? Do you like me? That could be men or women. And cats are a little more aloof. They hold back. They're like, do I like you? You need to figure out which person you are because we each have blind spots. Dogs need to give people space and respect introverts might need a little more time to warm up. And you're likable as you are. You don't need the external validation. My cats give a little bit more because people are worried you don't like them.