Vanessa Van Edwards explains how word choice shapes brain function. Warm words like best and together trigger bonding, while competent words like productive and efficient prime the brain for action. Choosing competent language deliberately shifts your mindset from social connection to task focus.
Our words are really important, but I think that we don't even use that the right way. There are warm words and there are competent words. Warm words kind of give you the warm and fuzzies. Best, both, collaborate, together, happy, we— those are kind of warm and fuzzy words. In fact, our brain likes those words. We're like, mm, yeah, together, we're together. We just like that sense. It's a little bit oxytocin-inducing in its sense versus competent words. Competent words are the get-it-doners, right? These are productive, brainstorm, efficient, power through. Those kind of like, ooh, it makes you do words. Research is quite clear on this. When we hear a word like collaborate, our brain prepares to be collaborative. Those words really matter. A way that we can replace oxytocin in a sense, by just being more purposeful with our words.
