Lisa Bilyeu breaks down two dating styles: playful people deflect and tease, while polite people answer directly. Both work if there's attraction underneath, driven by oxytocin, dopamine, and scent. Your response style shapes how the date feels.
If someone's being playful with a polite person and they ask, like, so, what's your biggest pet peeve? Have you been doing a lot of these online dates? What's your biggest pet peeve on a date? Super playful, mentioning dates, kind of a little bit teasing. And a polite person goes, oh, you know, I haven't been on that many polite. A polite person might be like, you know, I just really like when people show up on time. So thanks for being on time. They're going to answer, they're not going to play back. They're going to fricking answer. What's your pet peeve? Where a playful person is going to be like, you don't have to worry about that, babe. You got no pet peeves for me. Right? Like, that's the difference between the two styles. They can still work as long as there's, like, an underlying attraction there. We're still having oxytocin, we're still a little bit excited. There's a little bit dopamine. We smell good.
