Vanessa Van Edwards explains how to discover what others assume about you using a charisma quiz that measures warmth and competence. Share your results with someone who knows you to spot gaps between how you see yourself and how you actually come across. Listen to someone's first ten words and watch their facial gestures for quick clues about what they project.
How can you tell what people assume about you? You could ask them. I think that that's the best way. We have a charisma quiz that we have people take, students take, and it tells you your warmth and competence on a scale. So they take the questions, places them on the scale based on their warmth and competence. You take a screenshot, then we tell them send it to a partner, a colleague, and a friend and have them take it as you. You will literally see how a partner sees you, how a colleague sees you. If you can get your boss to do it, how a boss sees you, and see if it lines with how you see yourself. Because very often in that exercise, the way you think you're coming across is not the way you're actually coming across. If you're intuitive, you could pay attention to the first 10 words someone says to you. In a very high competent situation, a formal or more cold situation, people are probably going to ask you more formal, more competent questions. So what do you do? What brings you here? And I'm using a very specific nonverbal with my face. I might lower lid flex at you as if to say I want to see you. That's very high competent versus a high warm person. You might be getting warm from someone if they're like, tell me about the fam, how is that soccer game, how are you doing, I want to hear everything. If they use words like friend, bud, those are all very warm words. It's likely that you're coming coming across as warm versus competent words are words like goal, win, achieve. Those words are probably matching how you're coming across.
