Vanessa Van Edwards says everyone has a natural charisma flavor rooted in their real strengths. Ambivalent relationships, where you're unsure where you stand, drain energy faster than obviously toxic ones because they trigger subtle rejection cues. Focus on people who accept your awkward moments and bring out your best self.
And this is really important. If we all have the specific flavor of charisma, what are your social strengths that actually authentically feel good to you? So one, where are the places that you feel like I can actually be my best self? So you find your places that are less draining, and that could be with friends. Then you find your people. So who are the people who bring out your best self? Ambivalent relationships drain us faster than toxic ones. If you have someone you do not like, if you were to have that person, you know they're toxic. But the ambivalent people, the people who you look at their name in your calendar and you're like, why am I dreading that? Or is she really happy for me? Those are actually so much more draining because our brain is probably reading on a couple of judgment cues, social rejection cues, and then it drains energy, but we feel like it should be good. And so I want you to think about who do you love seeing? They bring out your best self. You can be a little awkward and they still love you for it. That's who I want you to spend more time with. What cues do you use with them? That's your natural flavor.
