Vanessa Van Edwards teaches nine techniques to make people open up: slow triple nods, eyebrow raises, leaning in, angling your body toward them, smiling readily, appropriate touch, and verbalizing emotion. Prepare someone ahead of time and use encouraging vocalizations to signal you're safe to talk to.
There's a conversational key to getting someone to open up, and it's called a trust signal. A trust signal are things that we can send to people we're talking to to get them to trust us. That they're opening up is going to be safe with us. Trust signal number one, a slow triple nod. Literally, this is like a non verbal. Dot, dot, dot. You're telling someone, yes, tell me more. Second trust signal, the eyebrow raise. The universal symbol of interest. Third trust signal. Vocalizations. If someone's saying something interesting, say, we love to hear that someone is actually interested and it makes us want to keep talk. Fourth trust signal, Lean in. That literally shows that you're engaged. Fifth trust signal. Verbalize your emotion. Give someone the benefit of hearing your surprise and delight. Six, try to always angle your body towards the person you're talking to. That should make us feel more engaged. Next, be an easy laugher and an easy smiler. Smiles are contagious. Next, initiate touch. If you feel comfortable to say, I'm here with you, I'm present. I want to hear more. Last one. Prepare someone ahead of time to open up. That will actually encourage them to open up in the moment because they can prepare and feel safe before they even arrive.
