Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

How To Have Good Conversation On A Bad Day

19 Jan 2026 · 1 min

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This content was created by Vanessa Van Edwards. This content was uploaded by Vanessa Van Edwards. This is a YouTube video titled "How To Have Good Conversation On A Bad Day" (posted 2026-01-19) in which Vanessa Van Edwards delivers a short monologue offering guidance on conversational responses when someone is having a bad day. She warns against toxic positivity, encourages using the moment to match understanding and vulnerability, suggests asking how you can help and inviting the other person to share more, and recommends pairing vulnerability with a next step (e.g., acknowledging difficulty while expressing gratitude) to foster authentic, deeper conversation.

Chapters

I never want to encourage toxic positivity. What if things aren't good? What if you are having a bad day? What if they're having a bad day? Actually, this is an opportunity to dig deeper. If you ask someone anything good happen in your life or have a good day, and they say, actually, no, it's been really hard, Congratulations. You have a conversational opportunity. That is your moment to immediately match them with understanding vulnerability and asking if you can help. So if they give you that back, they have given you a moment of truth. That is your opportunity to say, oh, my goodness, tell me, tell me more. What can I do? How can I help? That allows you to go a little bit deeper. What if you're having a bad day? This is an opportunity for you to be vulnerable. What I want you to do is share the vulnerability with a next step. This could be, gosh, it's been a challenging day, but I'm glad to be here with you. Thanks for taking this call with me. That way you're acknowledging that it's been a hard day and you're saying what you are grateful for. That actually sets you up for more transparent, authentic conversation and people will respect you for it.