Vanessa Van Edwards says loneliness comes from hiding how much we like people. Show interest by telling someone they're fun or interesting, nodding three times, tilting your head, leaning in. Women want a man who makes them laugh; men want a woman who laughs at theirs.
The number one thing that is causing loneliness is we are withholding our liking, both with friends and in romance. How are we gonna have babies? How are we gonna have marriages if we're withholding our liking? How are we gonna have friends if we don't know if someone likes us? We should be going around showing, amplifying our likes to people that we're with.
So how do I signal that I like someone, and how do I know if they like me?
Verbally, I think it's very easy. You can be very direct. If someone is interesting, funny, likable, say in that moment, "Ah, this is so fun. This is so interesting. Being with you is always so interesting." So that's one way you can do it, is affirming the adjective that you're already feeling and saying it out loud. So if someone is funny, interesting, delightful, a good conversationalist, tell them. And then nonverbal liking. So for men, vocalizations—
hmm, ah, oh—
we love a triple nod, we love a head tilt, we love a lean. All of those. Yeah, see, there was something funny that I read recently, which is women list humor as a number one trait they want in a man. Men don't care as much about humor in a woman. They want a woman who laughs at their jokes. And that brings me back to liking. Being an easy laugher is one of the most likable, complimentary things you can do for for someone else.
