Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

How To Stop Being Boring

15 Apr 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:20

In this solo coaching video, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches viewers how to become more engaging and captivating in conversation by applying a four‑part framework she calls “conversational candy.” The first candy, “sparks,” involves identifying topics that light people up, especially those relevant to the listener’s work or interests. The second candy, “stories,” leverages the power of narrative—research from Quantified Communication shows stories are 22 times more captivating than facts—by encouraging the creation of a “story toolbox” stored on a phone for quick reference before events. The third candy, “visual cues,” suggests using what you wear, carry, or bring as prompts to spark interesting anecdotes. The final and “best” candy, “conversational compliments,” advises acknowledging helpful remarks with enthusiastic praise and noting them, which reinforces positive interaction and makes the other person feel valued. Vanessa urges viewers to try each technique in the coming days to see the impact on their conversations.

Chapters

How do you be more engaging, more captivating in conversation? The key is conversational candy. Conversational candy option number 1: use sparks. Sparks are topics that light people up. What do people in your line of work like to talk about? What would spark them? Conversational candy option number 2: tell stories. Research from Quantified Communication found that stories are 22 times more captivating than facts or ideas by themselves. Here's how you can do this. I highly recommend creating a story toolbox note in your phone. I put the story in the note in my phone. That way, before an event, I can skim through my stories and see if any of them come up, and then I can share a story from my story toolbox. Third conversational candy option: use visual cues. Visual cues can also be a great way to prompt stories or to prompt interesting things. So think about what are you wearing, what are you carrying, what are you bringing that could maybe stimulate, or spark an interesting story for you. Last and best conversational candy option: pay conversational compliments. If someone says something helpful or gives you a recommendation, you can pay them a compliment by writing it down. You can say, "That is great! Oh my gosh, that's so helpful. Let me write that down," or "Let me make a note to myself." Try one of these conversational compliments in the next few days and see someone light up.