Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

Know What Drains You I @LauraMarieClery

28 Mar 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:32

In this brief monologue, Vanessa Van Edwards explains how to recognize personal "weaknesses" in the form of energy vampires—people, environments, and conversation topics that sap one's social and emotional energy. She describes how certain individuals can bring out one's worst self, how loud or bustling settings like bars and happy hours can quickly deplete her social battery, and how some discussion subjects simply feel draining. Vanessa emphasizes that it's normal and healthy to avoid everything, as trying to like all experiences would make us robotic. The talk encourages self-awareness about what drains you and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your energy.

Chapters

How do you define your weakness? These are energy vampires. You know, these people, places, and things. There are certain people where they make you your worst self, but there are also places. Like, there are certain places that can drain you faster. Or, you know, I don't do well in like very loud places. Like, I'm a big deep talker at a bar or like a happy hour, which are like the opposite of happy for me. So I like a more quiet environment. It's like, where are the places that drain your social battery faster? So people, places, and then topics. Like there are certain topics of conversation that like I just can't. And by the way, that's good. We shouldn't like everything because then we would all be robots.