Vanessa Van Edwards explains micro social skills: small strengths you already have like storytelling or good eye contact. Identify one you're good at, practice a new related skill with people who make you feel comfortable, and keep back-pocket topics ready for conversations with bosses or clients.
So what I say is, no, we're gonna start really small. I like micro social skills. Mm-hmm. Micro social skills are the social skills that you're already good at that you didn't actually realize was a skill that you were naturally good at. So for example, telling a story is a micro social skill, and there are some awkward people who are exceptional at telling very good real stories, embarrassing moments, case studies with a client. So I would say, okay, let's start with the micro skill that you're very good at. That could be explaining something technical. That could be a story. That could be even quiet power, like listening really, really well. That could be a nonverbal thing. That could be you're really, really warm nonverbally. You're good at nodding. You're good at eye contact. So first is identify what you're already good at, because you need that courage to get you through the discomfort. Who are the people who make you feel like your best self at work? Mm-hmm. Who are the people already in your job where you're not overthinking? Let's try a little new micro skill that you might be good at with them. So it's like we're using soft skills as an experiment and we're starting with the good because the only way to get through it, to get through the cortisol, to get through the adrenaline of like your heart pounding when you're trying something new is to fall back on the micro skill that you're good at. I also think the same thing in conversation. So there are topics that some of us are very good at discussing, right? Like you're very good at discussing certain topics, but I'm sure if I were to ask you about something that you knew nothing about, you'd be like, Tell me more. And then you'd be outta your depth. We need to have back pocket topics that we are just like so fired up about. Maybe we hit flow when we're talking about it. You were passionate about it. So that if you're in conversation by accident with your boss or the client, you can bring up that thing you're very good at. And then you like, oh yeah, here's my rhythm. And then we can try the new stuff.
