Vanessa Van Edwards explains that handshakes release oxytocin and build trust, but they're not required. Use sustained eye contact, warm language, and say words like "trust" and "connect" instead when a handshake doesn't fit the culture.
As a woman, when I walk into a meeting with non-Western participants, I never really know if and with who I should shake hands.
Absolutely. So yes, there is an international trust code and it all boils down to oxytocin. Yes, we produce oxytocin through a handshake, but it's not the only way. In fact, if you're in a room where you're not sure if your handshake is going to be accepted or if it's appropriate, focus on the other ways we build oxytocin, primarily eye contact, right? Making gaze with each and every person in the room, making gaze at the end of your statements, making gaze as they're speaking, using warm words. 'Wonderful to meet you. I've been so looking forward to this. I'm so happy to connect.' Those warm words also trigger, um, that feeling of like, 'Oh, we're on the same page. You want to connect with me.' I would literally use the word 'trust' and 'connect' when you can. Those words can prime for trust and connection. Don't worry as much about the touch if it's not appropriate. I would rather you focus on the other oxytocin levers, if you think of them as levers.
