Vanessa Van Edwards discusses Dr. John Gottman's 30-year study of married couples, which found that contempt during initial interviews predicted divorce with 93.6% accuracy. Unchecked contempt escalates into disrespect and erodes communication until partners can barely speak to each other.
Doctor John Gottman, credible marriage and family counselor, did research on married couples and he wanted to know if there was any predictor of divorce for married couples. He looked at the way they spoke to each other, the way they interacted. He looked at their body language, their verbal behavior. He looked at their histories, how they lived, and he followed them for 30 years. He found there was one big indicator of which couples would get divorced and it was that in the initial intake interview, if one member of the couple showed contempt towards the other with 93.6% accuracy, that couple would get divorced within 30 years. And the reason for this is because contempt is so negative that if it's not addressed, it's not spotted, recognized, it can easily turn into disrespect. And that's why at the end of a very, very bad marriage or relationship, you get two people who can barely speak to each other or look at each other without feeling negative.
