Vanessa Van Edwards says "How are you?" puts brains on autopilot. Instead, ask "Did you do anything exciting this past weekend?" or "Are you working on anything exciting these days?" The word exciting forces people to search for something positive, making conversations less bland.
If you ask someone, how you doing? How's it going? Their brain is asleep. It stays on autopilot. Here's the answer everyone says: busy, good but busy. Never ever ever say nice to meet you. Always say nice to see you. It's insurance. And then I have a trick. So on Mondays and Fridays, always ask about exciting things on the weekend. On Monday, do anything exciting this past weekend? On Friday, do anything exciting this upcoming weekend? You have to go out on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Same thing, which is working on anything exciting these days? What you're doing is you're changing their brain. So by saying working on anything exciting or doing anything exciting, you're literally asking their brain to wake up and search for something good. And that is the point of our interactions. Let's talk about good. Let's talk about exciting. Let's talk about real things, not the autopilot stuff.
