Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

The Most Predictive Flirting Style of the Best Long Term Relationships I @LisaBilyeu

12 Mar 2026 · 1 min

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In this brief interview segment, Vanessa Van Edwards explains that sincerity is the strongest predictor of successful, long‑term romantic relationships. She advises people to first identify and use their natural flirting style, but once comfortable, to deliberately shift from a playful, back‑and‑forth approach to a more sincere mode. This transition, she argues, accelerates the building of a solid foundation for a future partnership, including shared goals such as family, finances, and long‑term commitment.

Chapters

The most predictive of the best long-term relationships? I would guess it would be the sincere. It is. Sincere is the one that's the best predictor of emotional— of long-term good relationships, which I think is a good thing, which means know your natural flirting style and start with that. Once you feel comfortable though, can you shift into sincere? If you're doing that playful, you're back and forth and like you're really feeling it out, and then you're like, you know, like I could go a little bit deeper here, go for it. Like switch into that a little bit more sincere mode and see if they can hit that with you, because that's going to make it so that you're building a better foundation. Dating and attraction is a foundation. It's a foundation for long long-term partner, it's a foundation for shared future, it's a foundation for children or family if you want, it's a foundation for sharing finances, it's a foundation. So if you can get to sincere, I think it helps you start to build that foundation a little bit faster.