Vanessa Van Edwards shares science-backed dating tactics: give a "micro win" to trigger dopamine and boost mood, find "me-too" moments to build rapport fast, use "thread theory" to steer conversations toward topics you love, and watch for attraction signals like self-touch gestures while avoiding vocal fry and defeated posture.
I'm from Ohio.
Okay. Like the Akron area.
Ask him, what do you love about Ohio? Do you miss Ohio? Not really. Can I ask how old you are? Guess. Guess 30. Um, 30?
Yeah. Why did you say guess 30?
I was giving her a micro win. Remember, we're trying to gift dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone. Very simplified. So I knew if she guessed right, it would make her feel good, and I needed her to feel good so she would start driving. Oh wait, you're birth— so you're an Aries. I'm an Aries too. A me too moment. As soon as they had the me too moment, the thread theory, they both warmed up. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Once we get a me too moment, it's like so much faster to laugh more. She actually like literally physically relaxed.
What's her body language giving here?
Defeated body language, let's say. There's a lot of things that women can do to show I am feeling physically attracted to you. She was physically attracted. If she wanted to show him I'm into you, she could have touched her hair, she could have touched her lips, she could have touched the side of her face. All of those are gestures of self-touch that show interest, but she didn't show any of that.
I love dancing, and they like always have a DJ. I love dancing.
I love dancing. She was gonna let that go, but I was trying to give her a thread. I love dancing, and also I'm trying to get her to say love. When you use more words like that, you're cueing for that. So on a date, you want to be using the words that you're trying to create. I'm extremely extroverted.
I'm extroverted and introverted. Like, once I'm out, I'm probably not going home, but then it's like, I also love my, like, alone time.
Do you hear she's using vocal fry? When you use closed body language, it affects your voice. Vocal fry is when you're like, I love going out and I kind of love— so she started to go into a little bit of vocal fry here, which is not attractive. We do not like vocal fry.
