Vanessa Van Edwards explains that flashing the whites of your eyes signals fear or anxiety, not necessarily lying. When you spot it, pause and ask follow-up questions to find out what's really going on underneath.
If someone is lying to you, especially if they have guilt about that lie or they're afraid of being caught, they feel fear and they'll often show it. And it leaks out with one specific cue, which is they flash the upper whites of their eyes at you. So if you can see— so if you widen your eyes really wide, you'll start to feel nervous. You'll notice that if someone is speaking to you and they're nervous, that flash, that upper whites, right? What do you mean? What are you talking about?
I don't know.
Yeah, that upper whites— you have just spotted, okay, a fear that they have of what they're saying. It doesn't mean someone's lying. Sure. It just means, wait a minute, why are they anxious about what they're saying or what they're hearing? It's a red flag. We don't know what it is yet, but this is where you want to be like, hmm, let's circle back on that. Let me ask that question again. Does that make sense? What are you really thinking? What are you really feeling? Tell me what you're thinking. Because there's something happening that is making them a little bit afraid, and that can help you suss out fake warmth or fake competence.
Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more about that.
Tell me more. Circle back.
And if the eyes get even bigger, uh, run!
