Vanessa Van EdwardsScience of People, Science Of People · Behavioral Researcher, Founder, Author, Harvard Instructor

We Instantly Like People Who Are Like Us

29 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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In this short monologue, Vanessa Van Edwards introduces the similarity‑attraction effect, explaining that people tend to like and help others who share similar values, interests, or outward appearance. She challenges the cliché that opposites attract, emphasizing that instant likability is driven by perceived similarity. Vanessa cites a study where strangers dressed alike (e.g., jeans and a t‑shirt) were more likely to receive help, such as a dollar for subway fare, than those dressed differently, illustrating how visual similarity influences prosocial behavior.

Chapters

How do you get people to like you? The similarity-attraction effect. This shows that we like people like us. I know the cliché says that opposites attract, but when it comes to instant likeability, we tend to like people who have similar values to us, similar interests to us, and look more like us. In one study, researchers found that we help strangers who are dressed more like us. For example, if you're dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and another person dressed in jeans and a t-shirt asks to to borrow a dollar for the subway were more likely to help them than someone in a business suit.