Courteney Cox told the Friends cast to actually become friends, not just play them. The show's creator had them bond in Monica's apartment set before filming. Cox cited Seinfeld's real closeness as the model, a psychological move that created shared vision and unity among the ensemble.
I just learned this really cool backstory of the TV show Friends. I have an entire section in my new book on how to make adult friends, so I was researching all these friendship case studies. And supposedly the creator of the show Friends knew that these actors had to be actual friends, otherwise it wouldn't be authentic on screen. So what he did is he pulled them all into a room when they were new actors, they didn't know each other. He put them on the actual set in Monica's apartment and he told them, I want you guys to Actually be friends. And at the time, I didn't know this, Courteney Cox had a really big career and she actually turned to the entire group and she said, listen, this is an ensemble show. There's no stars here. I want to do what I saw on Seinfeld, which is that that cast are actually friends. Let's also be friends. Now, this was a really important psychological thing that Courteney Cox did is one, she reminded everyone they were in it together. Second, she talked about a very successful model. Seinfeld was a hugely successful show at the time. So by reminding everyone of the goal that they wanted to be like Seinfeld, she not only created this sense of unity, she also created a shared goal. This is kind of a weird friendship hack. Create shared goals. When people create shared visions together, this is a psychological concept. The idea is that if we could dream or vision the same vision in our future together, we're more likely to be allies and help each other. So a little tip here is talk about your goals with your friends. Share a vision with them. Vision cast with them. It's one of the best ways to have a friendship hack. And for more tips like this, check out my new book, Conversation.
