Why are we hard on others, but not ourselves?

I had to cancel on someone last minute and I felt awful about it. Kid stuff, parents, I don't need to tell you. But it also got me thinking, we judge other people by their actions, but ourselves by our intentions. If someone cancels plans, we think, wow, rude, flaky. If we cancel plans, we're hard on ourselves, but we give ourselves a pass knowing there is an important reason. Both reactions are important. I'm a behavior hacker, and if you're interested in thought-provoking content, be sure to follow me for more videos like this. When someone's short with us, we think, ugh, they're rude, or they're mean. When we're short with someone, we think, I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed, they should understand. We give ourselves context. We give other people conclusions. We give ourselves valid excuses. We give others identity diagnoses. We're overwhelmed right now, but they are flaky. We're just having a hard week, but they can't be depended on. That mindset quietly damages relationships because empathy starts when you realize other people probably have reasons too. I think we have to give ourselves grace, but we also have to give that grace to others. Don't assume bad behavior is part of someone's identity. Assume they're having a moment and see if you can support them the way that you would want to be supported. I would love to help you level up your relationships and communicate to hit all of your goals. Comment difficult for more tips like this.