Vanessa Van Edwards explains how people high in neuroticism approach friendships and worry. She outlines a five-step pattern neurotics use to make friends (find someone, exchange contacts, assume they dislike you, avoid initiating contact, keep worrying) and argues that although neurotics treat worry as an "investment" to prevent failure, worry does not actually prevent failures.
Never say it'll all be fine cause you know what we're thinking. It will only be fine if I think through every possibility, weigh the pros and cons and invest enough worry time. And it's only ever fine because I'm always the one to worry about it beforehand. Neurotics have a very particular way of making friends. First stage Find someone you enjoy talking to on a regular basis. 2. Exchange contact information. 3. Despite contrary evidence, assume that they dislike you. 4. Based on that assumption, never contact them first. 5. We like to think if we think through all the possibilities, if we worry about it enough, the bad things won't happen. But failures still happen. We, as high neurotics, feel like worry is an investment. The problem is that worrying is not an investment in failure prevention.
