Vanessa Van Edwards explains why neurotic people overthink: they ruminate on shame, fixate on negative information, and recover slowly from upsets. High neurotics produce less serotonin and transport it more slowly, which keeps them stuck longer. Hearing "me too" from others actually reduces their worry.
Being highly neurotic basically means that I am exceptionally good at worrying. Shame fuels the fire of worry. When we sit alone with our worries, they grow and they grow. The only water for that fire is me toos. When you have other people where you share a worry and they say, me too, that's the only thing that quenches the worry. So let me explain some chemistry about what's happening here. Serotonin is what keeps us calm. When a neurotic feels very upset, they actually have a slower time producing and transporting that serotonin. High neurotics produce less serotonin and transport it more slowly. What happens is, in a relationship, a high neurotic and a low neurotic. A high neurotic is like, I'm so worried, I just don't know what I'm gonna be able to do. And the low neurotic's like, oh, don't worry about it. And that is because we physically, chemically have a greater response to negative events. It also lasts longer. So when something bad happens to us, that badness stays with us for longer. We also tend to have an attentional bias. In other words, we pay more attention to negative information.
