Vanessa Van Edwards challenges the myth that introverts have a fixed social energy limit. Your social battery is unique and context-dependent: she lasts three hours at a typical party but over a dozen hours at a girls-only weekend. Identify who drains you and who recharges you, then design your calendar and bring a personal battery pack like favorite foods or a wingperson.
There's this fact going around that introverts have only 2.3 hours of people energy for socializing. I looked everywhere. My team looked everywhere. We cannot find this research anywhere. So I think it's fake. But what I like about it is I think everyone's social battery is a little bit different. So what is your social battery? I've been thinking about measuring my own time and I think I might have 3.7 hours of people energy. Like I'm an ambivert, right? So I can swing up into extroversion when I'm on the right people in the right places. But I also need lots of recharge time. I think mine is 3 hours and 7 minutes. That's like not 3.7. I can't do math. You don't follow me for that. So three hours and seven minutes is about what I have. Like when I think about like a dinner party or a networking event or a holiday party, like, that's about what I can do. What can you do is more important. Like what is your bandwidth and also who drains it faster and who drains it longer. So I was realizing that at a very loud place or a loud party where I don't know a lot of people, it's like 1.2. It's like one hour and two minutes. Again, I don't think that's right enough, but you know what I mean, like one hour and two minutes. Because it's like, it's super draining for me to have like very shallow small talk or to be like yelling, what do you do? I don't ask that question. But like, if I did, however, if I'm with my girlfriends and we are laughing and we are having great yummy food, I have like 12.8 hours, 15.6 hours, like a whole day's worth whatever math that is, or even like two days worth, like a girl's weekend. I can just go and go and go and go, and I just want to talk and talk and talk. That's literally why I don't have a lot of boys now, is I've been talking with my girlfriends too much. That is why. So I think the takeaway here, this actually helped me like studying this study, like looking for this science which my team and I could not find. I don't know where they got it. Like, maybe that guy has 2.3 hours. Whatever one is, we all have different social battery levels. Two, what is our default? Three, are there people that gift us people energy? Are there people that take away our people energy? Like, I have Limited bandwidth for. I won't name them. You probably don't know who you are. But there are people who I'm just like, I can't, I just can't. And I have very limited energy. So people who gives, who drains? And then also places like context, like, what are the places that are really filling for you? And then, and this is like, this is the advanced tip is what do you do with that information? How do you set up your social calendar so it's optimized for social energy? So can you set up if you know that you have an outing that's going to drain you faster? Like, what recharge stuff do you have to do? Who can you bring with you that's going to give you more energy? What could you talk about that's going to help? Like, for example, I noticed that if I talk about topics I like, I have a little bit more social energy. You know, for talking about books or talking about learning. Like, I have much more social bandwidth. I can do learning, like conferences or workshops or, you know, reading book clubs. I can do that for way longer. So could you set yourself up for success in that way? And then also, like, is there a battery pack you could bring? You know, if you, if you know that you're going into social events and you need a little bit more time, like, what's your battery pack? Your metaphor, metaphorical battery pack. Like, is it a conversation starter? Is it an amazing wingman or wing woman? Is it coffee? You know, just like lots of espresso? Because for me it totally is. Is it really good food? Like, I'm like, tacos really help me be social. They do waffles also. So, like, if I know that I have to go out to with someone and I don't really know them very well, but I really want to get to know them. I'm like, let's go on a hike because I know that I'm gonna have way more energy on a hike. Or let's grab tacos or waffles because I like those food, those foods. I. I like eating that stuff. And so that gives me social energy. Or like, let's go get froyo. Like, those are gonna give me way more social energy versus, like, let's go get a coffee. Just a coffee without any food is not that fun for me. Or like, let's go have salads. I like a salad. Like, I'm not gonna hate on salads. I don't want the Internet to get mad about salad. I love a salad, but like eating a salad and trying to socialize and be more extroverted. Double punishment. Double punishment. All the. We've gotten off track. We've gotten off track on this video, but you're with me, right? You're with me. So to wrap it up, what's your social energy bandwidth? What food fuels you, what people fuel you, and what places fuel you? Okay, let me know in the comments. No offense to salads.
