What Is Life Like Married To Entrepreneurs? 'Married To Mayhem' #EEP Podcast #272 Krista Michalowicz

Hey, guys, there's one thing that you need to go to. Well, there's many things you need to go to, I guess, quite frankly, but there's one thing that I want to see at. It's at Profit First Live. We host it here at our offices. And if you want to do Profit first right, it's real simple. Come to the event and learn how to do it right. I'm teaching with my colleagues here. All you have to do is go to profitfirstlive.com to sign up. There's dates right around the corner, and I'd like to see you here. You know, you better get ready to strap on your. Was it sweat?

Raggedy, yeah.

Your sweat rag.

I don't even know is that a sweatband, but it's a rag, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, strap on your sweat rag, because I have. I am. I've never been this nervous in my life. My wife is here. I thought it was a great idea to bring her in to talk about.

Never been this nervous.

Could you stop being an ass?

Only a little dramatic. He should be nervous.

I am nervous because, like, when we came up with this idea six months ago, we said we're going to do an episode called Married to Mayhem. What's it like to be married to entrepreneur? I mean, this is the greatest idea ever. And it's getting closer and closer. And as you look at me over your glasses right now, hun, I am terrified. You're about to discover this terror and so much more on today's episode of Entrepreneurship Elevated.

You don't have to grind.

I don't. What, are you teaming up against me? There you go, babe. What are you doing? Kal's like Kels is whispering in Krista's ear. Oh, you don't have to do that. You don't have to, Krista. You don't have to stand for that anymore. You know that. We're together. We're a team now.

She's finally free.

Yeah, we have the power now.

I'm Mike Michalowicz, and I'm in trouble today. I'm also the author on a mission to eradicate entrepreneurial poverty. The struggles that entrepreneurs have, those magnificent ups and those. Oh, my gosh, those deep, deep valleys. We're gonna navigate through that together. We're gonna make sure that your business is successful.

And.

And I'm joined studio with Kelsey Ayers, my good friend.

Hello, friend. You can find us on itunes, Stitcher, Tunein Radio, Spotify, iheartradio, any podcaster anywhere, but please subscribe.

Have you heard of Podbean, Kelsey?

Yeah.

So we're on Podbean. I was typing in entrepreneurship elevated and comes up. It's like podbean. I never heard that before. And sure enough, it's on Podbean.

Amazing.

Yeah. You know, we want your reviews, your honest reviews. So just, you know, give us whatever you think we deserve. Make some comments. We appreciate it. Also in studio is Jay Kablone.

Hello.

How you doing, Jay?

Good. Yeah. I just got some caramels. I'm great.

Yeah. Oh, should we sing Happy Birthday?

Oh, do you say caramels?

What do you say?

Caramel.

Caramel.

Yeah, me too. What do you say?

Caramel.

Me too.

Yeah. Talking to my caramel. You're ready. You're already doing the look around.

Caramel.

So real quick. We never done this before. I think we need to sing Happy Birthday to Jeremy.

Oh, come on. I'll play it in the audio.

I'm very good at this.

All right, you sing Happy Birthday. Ready? Okay.

Happy birthday to you Jerry B. Happy birthday to you Jerobone. Happy birthday dear Jera Schlone Happy birthday to you.

That was awesome. Thank you, Krista. That was great.

Now, I don't know, hon, if I told you this, Kelsey and I started a little band. It's a duet. We've been traveling around because we're not making money in the business.

Do you know what it's called?

Tell me.

Well, you have to have a stage name, right? I can't go up and say it's Mike McCallough. It's people like, what the hell? So I go by Justin Love.

Oh, no.

And she goes by just Kelsey. It's just in love and just Kelsey.

It's great. I wish you a lot of love. Thank you.

I mean, we don't really need it. We're good.

Pretty good.

Yeah.

We're really good. We're really good. Yeah. Kelsey, you've been up to.

Well, I told you what I was up to.

I know you went to the lake.

I went to the lake. Tomorrow I'm hosting book club at my house again, which I'm really excited about.

Okay. And I want to know how your neck was healed. I told Kristen this morning that your neck like yesterday you couldn't even move.

He thought you were pissed.

Yeah, I did, right? I say first time ever you've been pissed. Am I? You okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, she's really pissed. But how did you heal so quickly? Did you go to a therapeutic? No.

Our lovely mom friend Amy brought Me a warm compress. So I use that all day and night and I took a lot of ibuprofen.

Would you say you're 100% plus?

I did a lot of stretching.

I was like stitching a lot of stretching.

Stretching. And are you recovered 100% now or.

No, but it's not sharp. So like if I move it, doesn't it not that like piercing pain anymore. It's just a little throbby, you know.

I get it.

And Jacob Loan I.

Well, I was in the same. I told you I woke up. Like, I don't know what I did last week, but I woke up and my neck was twisted like 45 degrees and I was walking around staring at people sideways all day long.

It was just. And you, and you, hun, you've been like hunching around because your back is so messed up, but you went to a therapeutic massage. Is that what they call it?

Therapeutic masseuse? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm doing.

I'm doing better.

I appreciate these chairs though. These are, these will really, really help the situation.

You're welcome.

We took them from the local church down the street. They needed these little fold out chairs. All right, do we have any listener mail? We want to.

We do recognize. Let's see.

Or shout out.

So this shout out comes from Michelle L. 47. Mike is not only super smart, but also really entertaining. I really enjoy all the topics he covers and his passion for helping business owners get out of or stay out of entrepreneurial poverty. Win, win.

Nice, Michelle 47.

Thanks, Michelle.

I wonder, I wonder why people put numbers. I know you have to because there's another Michelle L. Right. But do people put in sequence, like, do you do Michelle L. Like, oh, that's what you're thinking. Do I do one, two, I keep going up to 47. Or do you think there's a significant.

My assumption is they pick numbers that are relevant to them. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like she's 47 children.

Maybe that's logical.

Yeah.

Okay.

I do want to thank our corporate partner, nextiva makes this a show, a reality. You know, hon, I got invited to be on their board. Did I tell you that?

I stopped listening.

That's what I'm gonna do from now on.

I think I.

Once you reach 10 times, I'm done.

I had breakfast with my parents this morning. I'm like. Because my, my father, my father's 92. He's on the verge. 92. The guy is sharp, but I hope he forgets these things because I just like saying it's like, like, hey, I'm going to Phoenix tonight. I'm flying out. Like, oh yeah, because you're on the board next to him. Yeah, because I wanted to say it cut you off.

Yeah, like, yes, Mike, we got it.

My mother, she can't stop talking. She's worse. She's even worse than me. Believe it or not, she was eating cereal and could not. She was choking because she was talking. And she kept on shoving more serial in and started talking more. I'm like, mom, just stop. Like you're gonna kill yourself. So guess who's in studio today. It's my wife. I love the bio. Like there's supposed to be a bio for everyone. It just says Mike's wife. So her name is Krista Michalowicz. She has been a stay at home mom. She's worked in the child care arena for years. And she was also. She's done a keynote or two on this concept of married to Mayhem. And one thing she's been a stalwart in.

I thought you were going to say Star Wars.

Now I'm listening. A stalwart in is being married to an entrepreneur. So what we're going to discuss today is what that journey has been to look up stalwart. Stalwart means like that you've been consistently doing something. You're always there, you're always present. You. And the one says there's one unique thing about her. She says in her mind she is an amazing air drummer.

In my mind and not air drummer. Drummer. Oh, in my mind I kind of believe I'd be an amazing drummer.

What band would you play for? Do you have any like, interest?

I don't take it that far. I'm not insane. I'm just saying, like in my mind I feel in my heart I'd be an amazing drummer.

So we're driving down the highway and you know truckers throw out.

I do not know any truckers.

No, no, you only throw. Truckers throw out the window. They throw out those Gatorade bottles. And so you. You had the funniest comment about that, hun. Share it.

All right. This was years ago, but I saw a container, a plastic container filled with a very deep gold liquid on the side of the highway. And I just thought and said out loud my thought. I'm concerned about that driver's health.

Right? It was awesome.

It's dehydrated.

Yeah, yeah, right. Stop and take a break.

Yeah, that guy needs more water intake is what she said. I thought it was all about the litter. But she's like, no, it's. It's really dehydrated.

Very thoughtful.

So just let's talk about what it's like to be married to an entrepreneur. As candidly as you can, knowing that tonight we have to have dinner together. You know, what's the unexpected stuff that still happens? We've been married now for 20 plus years.

I just opened a can of wine.

Are you seriously drinking wine? Yeah.

Oh, they're doing canned wine now. Yeah, that was from It's Always Sunny.

I thought if this got boring, we could do a taste test. I have another one.

Oh, that's so great.

This is not bad.

And it is. It's 11 in the morning. Just everyone knows.

No, it's almost 5 o'.

Clock. So what's the unexpected stuff still like? We've been married for 20 plus years. You think you know everything about entrepreneurship, but is there still stuff that kind of blindsides you when it comes to entrepreneurship? Being married to one?

Well, I'm not an expert. I'm only an expert in you.

Okay, touche.

So you are constantly evolving and changing. It's not like you started one thing and then you just stuck with that for the past 23 years. So, yeah, you're always changing. You're always doing something new. Your mind's always going. And sometimes it still catches me how far away you can be.

So what does that mean? Far away?

Physically and mentally.

Okay, so explain that because, you know, a lot of our listeners are the entrepreneurs. They're not the spouse. But they don't know what the spouse is experiencing.

Oh, I bet they do.

They don't know the spouse experiencing. I don't think.

Sure, it's been told to them.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, I think it's not for everyone. Yeah, I think it's not always easy, but it also can be really fun and spontaneous, but also isolating at times. Lonely sometimes. As a parent, you go through a lot of things alone.

Yeah, it's like a single single parenting at times.

Right times.

And is it single parenting because I'm traveling so much, or is it single parenting because even when I'm home, my mind is working? Is it both?

Yeah, sometimes both.

Yeah. So what? I've started, I think four or five businesses since we've been married.

I don't count. You don't count anymore.

But what's it like when you hear it? I'm starting a new business.

Well, first of all, I trust you and I believe in you and you are not going into things willy nilly. So if you're starting a new business, that's one thing, but usually it's writing books.

Oh, now it is. Yeah. But back then it was like, remember we had the computer company first. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna start a computer crime investigation business.

Which was unheard of. So I didn't even know what you're talking about.

We were watching CSI on tv. Or you were.

I know. I was like, where were you? I don't remember.

I don't watch tv.

Well, that, that was very new. That was not a thing we knew a lot about. It was very exciting and a sexy kind of line of work. And it took off like wildfire. So I didn't really have a lot of time to like second guess you.

Yeah.

And I had very small children, so I wasn't always thinking about you.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, settle, settle. Taking her to swig of your wine.

Like we got some band aids out there.

Yeah, right. The first, the first cut's been dug or sliced or whatever you do.

I had a question that I wanted to get your perspective.

Yeah, yeah.

And hers on this. So do you feel you. Do you feel you have more control of your schedule or less to do what you want and then the same to you?

That's a great question. So I think it's transition. So I would say in the first 10 or 15 years of business, I felt I had no control. And, and the only way. So this is my perspective. The only way to feed our family is I got to work longer and harder. Like that was totally my belief. So I was working through the night. I was just. Remember Barry and I started that business. Yes.

The pager would go off in the.

Middle of the night and I'd get this dispatched to a client. But I was making money in the last. It's really been the last three years. I've taken more vacation time in my life than I ever have. Yet there's still this sensation that I'm not around. Even though I took a four week vacation. We hung out the house, we. We just did Disney and all these things. But still feels like I'm constantly going, you know, what's your perspective?

Yeah, you are constantly going. But I would say that I think what I miss sometimes is consistency.

Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah. Because there's a lack of predictability. Right.

There's a lack of getting used to any kind of schedule where I would want to, like, maybe like I feel that if you're home, I need to be home. Instead of like making Plans or something. Because. Because you're gonna be gone again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I can't. I'm not always available for my friends say, yeah. Because I would rather. I would rather be with you knowing that you're gonna leave again.

Right.

But like, if you're home for a couple weeks at a time, then it's easier. So I can see how when you're in a regular schedule, that's different. But for. It depends how long you've been gone, you've been working on another book, so you've been writing a lot and your mind is otherwise occupied a lot. Plus everything else you do. So I definitely feel like if you're going to be around, I want to be around.

So one thing we're doing. So we're going to be empty nesters this year. Officially, Kelsey's finally moving out of the house.

It's really hard on me. I don't know why you say it so flippantly.

We'll miss you.

We'll miss you.

So one thing you're going to start doing is start traveling with me, hon.

Now and then.

Now. Selectively. Selectively. Right. So I think I had a gig in South Dakota. I called you, I'm like, hey, I'm going to South.

No offense. You said Buffalo.

That was last week. I said, hey, let's go to Buffalo.

I'm okay.

No. Did you say no?

No offense to Buffalo.

No, no.

Because your response was, who the hell goes to Buffalo? I think I am.

I know you said you want to.

Go to Buffalo, and I answered back, does anyone?

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

No offense, but Buffalo.

No, no offensive. Buffalo in the winter. I get it. But we're going in the summer. How do you think that will affect you? Does it. Because that's. Now we're traveling together. But that. Does that bring consistency or. It's out of the home element, so maybe the routine's not there.

Well, I'm not used to it yet.

Yeah, of course.

You know, and right now it's sort of, oh, all the kids are adults, quote, unquote, adults. And I have a different kind of freedom. I'm not. I'm not beholden to the. To public school system.

Right.

For my whereabouts. I don't, you know, need to be there in case there's a emergency in that the children can all sign for themselves.

Yeah.

You know, I don't know. It's things like that that I worry about so that I have that freedom coming up. I'm excited about it.

Yeah.

I'M excited.

Your friends.

I'll probably get bored of it, though.

Okay, so you're. Some of your friends have entrepreneurial spouses. Is that true? Sure was. Do you ever have confab with them about what it's like to be married to an entrepreneur?

Use words like confab when you talk about teabag.

I'm so happy we kicked you out.

Look up a lot of words.

I just read a dictionary before I got on.

Let me get my.

It's confabulation.

In case you really want my canned wine here.

Commisery. Right?

It could be comm. Yeah. It could be commissary.

Do you chat. Can we just say, do you chat about.

We were.

Nobody's married to anybody. Just exactly like what you do, though, so it's not. I hear a lot of. I don't know how you do it to you. Yeah.

From who are you laughing?

You don't need to know. I don't give up my sources.

Okay.

Is there a level of, like, the heart grows fonder? Because there's that kind of level of unpredictability. So when you are together, you're kind of cherishing that time a little bit more.

There's definitely that. I don't ever feel bored of Mike being around. I do get used to him being gone, and we miss each other and we communicate in that way. So I definitely feel, like, loved when he's gone. I feel his attention as much as he can, but I think sometimes it's a problem with when he's been gone a lot and he comes back and we all have our own schedule. We all. Everything goes on a kind of a, you know, a certain road, and then he walks in the door, and it's like a little adjustment period of like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, when you were gone and the kids were little then it was that kind of mayhem. But it was joyous and exciting and fun. And I would let them stay up a little later so they could jump all over dad and all that kind of stuff, or he'd pop in for homework. And, you know, I think that Mike always did a great job of connecting with his kids. They never felt lonely for him. They never felt, like, neglected because he was gone so much, because when he was with them, he was so plugged into them. And I always say, like, making eye contact with your kids and listening to them and play what they want to play. And Mike was always very good at that. So I always admired how the kids might not see. See him for days. Or longer at times. But they were never sad. They were never acting out for attention. They always felt, I don't know, somehow that they had 100% of him. And I think that's so important. I don't know if everybody has that.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. And you also have friends with spouses with regular jobs, right? How. How's their. How are their lives different from your perception than the life that you're living?

I think they might get a little bit. They're used to each other.

Oh, really? So, okay, that's on the downside. Tired of each other?

Well, yeah, I guess it depends on your own. Relate. Like, I don't know everybody's relationship, but there seems to be a little bit more of a. I hear people, and I'm sure they're joking, but you hear people out, you know, oh, I don't tell him where I'm going or I don't tell her where I'm going. She doesn't neither. Joking. But they. They know where the other one's at all the time. Like, you know, whenever time they walk through the door. It's like a routine.

Yeah.

So we.

We don't have that.

No, that's my fears for some people's marriages. They become complacent. Complacent?

Yeah.

Don't use big words. Complacent. Kelsey will get thrown off. No, but, no, they. They become like roommates is almost it, Right?

Well, some people. I don't know what goes into that.

But that may not be the job. That could just be the. The personalities, right?

Well, yeah. And I don't know that everybody loves their job.

Yeah.

You know, I don't know that everyone is in love and excited by their job. I suspect a lot of people are not. That's what I hear.

Yes. I wonder if they bring home to those spouses, bring home a. Not animosity, but if they don't like their job, that probably translates into how they carry themselves in their relationship.

Right, Right. You're not. They're not happy. They're not fulfilled. They're. They feel trapped. I think some people feel that way, and I think that of course, it will leak into their relationship.

If you could make, like, the perfect entrepreneur for a spouse. Like the scenario. What.

You know, a man bod.

Thanks, Kelsey. That was very complimentary. If it wasn't said so facetiously. I appreciate that.

I mean, where are you going with this question?

What I'm thinking is, like, what is there? Is it achievable for an entrepreneur to do what they feel called to do, but also to be great, greatly available in their relationship.

Do you feel like you, as the entrepreneur, have the power to, you know, create a different quality of life at home and. Or is this more like your. Your own drive, you know?

Yeah, it's a great question with your own temperature. So today I see there's more. I have more control than I really ever thought I did. Secondly, I do appreciate I have an addiction to work. Like, I love. I cannot wait to come in the morning and. And work. And there's always that one more thing I can do, which it's almost an endorphin release. Oh, I can get this done. I can still get this done. So there. There's an addiction component. But, you know, I like being home. I. I like. I like having dinner with my wife and my kids. We're lucky because our kids, while they're empty, while we're theoretically empty nesters, the nest is still full, Very full. We have more freaking people living in our house today than we ever have.

Well, that is one thing that I'm a little shocked by in our life, honestly, I did not think I would be cooking this much. I did not think our grocery bill would be what it is. It's ridiculous.

I know.

I think we have done something very right or very wrong.

Right. Yeah.

So we'll see in another 20 years.

If they're still there.

Having said that, I love our kids. It's so fun. Obviously, I love them, but I like them. I mean, obviously everyone's annoying at times, but they are nice, fun, funny people. And there's a lot of joking around in our house. And I love moving through this process of raising children and having them become young adults. How much fun we have with them. So it is sometimes like, boy, I'd like to be alone for more than an hour.

Yeah.

But at the other, you know, the other side of it is they are. They're fun. I'm proud of them, and we all enjoy each other very much.

You know, from my entrepreneurial perspective, I missed a lot of things with the kids growing up. I missed the equivalent of the first footsteps type thing. But the fact that they're still around, I'm still able to live those moments. So those regrets, maybe they'll set in for me one day, but they're not there right now. I'm like, oh, I can still see my kids. I have dinner with. You know, I have dinner at home now twice, three times a week, which is, for me is like A miracle. Growing up, I don't think I was ever home.

You were home.

It just doesn't feel like I wanted you to expand on that. Because what Krista said was she didn't feel like the kids ever, like, felt like you.

Yeah. Around.

So what was your perspective on that as you were going through it?

You know? So are you doing some loud whiskey?

I'm just also reviewing the wine.

Oh, give us.

Can I. Can I shout out the name?

Yeah, give us a commercial break. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I got to hit the sound for it because this is by law. You have to do this. Okay.

Maybe they could become a sponsor.

So here's our new sponsor.

I would be so happy I reached.

Out to tequila companies to be our sponsor.

All right, then we'll go to Jeremy's question.

So I just want to say that this particular winery also won our family wine tasting.

And it was earlier this morning, by the way.

It was one of the least expensive wines. It is a 14 hands winery. It has pictures of horses on the bottles and or cans. So this is the bubbles, and it's a white, but it has a little bubble to it. It's really nice. Floral and aromatic with vibrant bubbles. And it's true. It's good. It's nice. I just wanted to show that 14 hands.

So back to your question. So my perspective with the kids, like.

While you were going through that process, because I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs listening probably want to hear your side of it, because they're the ones going through it thinking like, oh, I'm abandoning. I'm not doing enough.

Yeah, I felt a little bit of that. But, you know, I coached their sports. I did all those things. But I think the why sacrificed was Krista time with my wife and. And sleep. And because, you know, here's my sense of responsibility. I'm. I manage our home finances also. So I see the bills coming in and go and the money going out, and I'm like, I got to make more money. I gotta make more money. And we made a decision for Krista as much as possible not to work. There was a couple times it was so tight. I'm like, we need you to do some work to discover the grocery bills. And Krista went back there now, you know, with young little kids. You were taking Tyler to, you know, he was in preschool and you were taking him with you on work. So I didn't feel guilt because I'm like, if I don't do this, you know, we got to keep on downsizing. There wasn't Much more to go down. And then there was a period too, remember? Of course I remember this. After I sold the forensics company, you know, we were on a high ride, and then all that money vanquished very quickly. The new business was a total flop. Right.

True story.

Yeah. And so now. And remember February 14th, Valentine's Day, I come home, I tell the kids, everyone, like, we're out of money. We're done. And now we sit down. We left the house we couldn't afford anymore. We moved into a friend's house, effectively a discount. Same town, thank God, but Krista's friend, they were going to do work in Europe, I think, for a year or two. Unless, take the house from them, rent it at a very discounted price. We would. We had no place else that we could afford. And we sat down and said, you know, the next step is we have to move in with either your parents, Chris's parents, or my parents. And that, you know, we were in our. This is not long ago.

Nothing will motivate you to work, especially.

After you meet my mom. So it was. Well, we're in our late 30s, early 40. No, because.

No, we were in our. Yeah, we were in our 30s later.

But, you know, late 30s, you think you'll start getting your. Your. Your feet under you. There's a saying that your 20s and 30s are for Lear. 40s and 50s are for earning. And now we're starting to enter our 40s, and it's like we have the least money we've ever had. That was tough.

Right, but you learned a lot, right?

We learned a lot.

We're learning so much. I remember us saying that a lot. Oh, look, another lesson. Yeah, we did. But we did learn a lot. The kids learned a lot. We came out of it. Yeah, but it was. Yeah, it was. But I don't know. I think I always felt. I always felt that we were going to be okay. I was mostly afraid of having to live with parents.

Yeah. But at one point, I remember you saying to me, because this is for the entrepreneur. This is the knife to the chest. And it's not said to attack, but it was as you said. He said, mike, I think you need to get a job. And for an entrepreneur to hear get a job, it's like, I don't know why it's so painful for us. And it was the right logical thing to do was for me to get a job, but. And I. I looked, but I didn't really look. I'm like, I gotta make something successful.

Well, I mean, For a period of time, you were contracted to work for.

Through Larry, that we're talking about Robert Half. Oh, yeah. Well, that was. Yeah.

And that was a good lesson.

Oh, you can't say Robert Half. I'm sorry.

They sucked for us.

They sucked for us.

But yeah, that was a year of you being probably the most miserable I'd ever seen you. It was a soul crushing commute into the city at a desk with busy work, which I think it was almost like a type of prison for you. And we did walk away after some conversations. You walked away from it with my blessing and there was some money left behind because you just couldn't live like that.

Yeah.

And I didn't want you living like that. So we just. If we have to move in with our parents for a year or we have to downsize, whatever, like it was would be hard to have downsized more, but.

Right.

A van. A van down by the river.

Yeah.

I mean, we really downsize. So just to be fully integral, I got fired from that job. Like, so walk away was. I was.

Okay. You were refusing to really work. Yeah. They wanted you to climb their ladder. Like, this is going to be great. And you're like, I don't like the ladder.

Yeah.

So. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was a. I was a schmo at the job. So I got fired just to be integral within that. But Robert has.

But I can see if, if you, if you. If like the decision was made where it's like, okay, you got to get a job, I can see you still being like kind of an entrepreneur by getting a job, by being like a consultant or something. I cannot see you taking like a standard, hey, I'm your state at this office. Like, I feel like you would go nuts within like a week and just like nuts, lose your mind.

Yeah. And that's. Yeah, that was losing his mind because.

You'Re handcuffed and you're too.

I think you're too just too crave or wild or. Yeah. And that's what Robert Half was. So they acquired our company. And listen, the experience was hard. It gave us exposure and money that I've never even imagined. Remember their flies out to California and these, these different meetings out there and. And we were living high on the hog and. And then the, the collapse came as my own fault for the financial struggles we had. But then when we hit rock bottom, you know, for us financially, we had no car. We made one beat up blue Dodge Durango rust bucket we bought somewhere in Newark. Remember that?

Yes, I do.

So we're going around, like. Because Newark isn't a bad city. It has bad parts, though. Right. And so we're in a difficult area.

Really bad parts.

I felt like we were stealing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it was so, like, almost like a covert mission.

Yeah. Like she had. She had one of our kids on your hip. I think Tyler's running around and I think Jake was like 6 years old at the time, wasn't he?

Yes.

Yeah. And I'm paying.

I. I just don't remember. Yeah. Tyler's six feet tall. But I was scared. It was new.

You had a baby in a hip. You had this cigarette in the other hand. And you know, we're paying cash for this car and we. We pull out it. But it. That became the turning point, I think. I think what I realized, hon, I'm curious about you. Is regardless of how much income we make or however successful we are, like the happiness quotient didn't change. I think we look back at our lives and I think I'm just as happy then as I am today.

We were very happy in our apartment in Hackettstown, New Jersey.

But always.

Yeah. Because.

Yeah, that's the irony.

Right. I don't want to say that money is not bringing you happiness. I think it makes you more of what you are.

But a person drinks wine.

I think. I think 14. May I just. No bubbles. I think that we had some very hard times. And I think we had some scary times.

Yeah.

Anytime, especially when you have kids, your mind goes to the worst case scenario and it's terrifying.

Yeah.

Thinking you're gonna have to move your three kids and your dog in with parents. Terrifying.

Yeah.

But at the same time, I think our connection as a couple is very strong.

Yeah.

I think I'm immensely patient. Wait, you didn't wanna. Did you see the look of fear.

Immediately on his face?

I'm in trouble.

No. But I think that we are good communicators in general. So I think that going through hard times, as long as you can keep that communication thing going where you're not berating or belittling, even when you're scared, even when you don't like certain decisions that were made.

You know, one thing I thought was very helpful was a. I don't know who came up with this, but we started doing. We called it couch time. Can you share what that was?

Yeah, I came up with that. Well, we didn't really have money for dates. You know, the money had to go to very specific and needed areas. And so for us, it was. What can we do to spend quality time together where we're both feeling like we're being heard and we're feeling like we're doing something. And so we came up with a few areas. We had to do grocery shopping. If you were around on a weekend, we'd do that together. Kids were old enough to leave them home with the oldest, and we would go grocery shopping for a couple hours, get a cup of coffee at night, glass of bubbles, and the couch. And we would tell the kids, including the dog, like, everybody out. This is our time.

And the big thing, there was no TV in that room. And we said no phones, you know, so we put the phones down, no tv. And it's interesting where your conversation just goes, you know? And then recently, we just. I had a fun time. We bought that box of questions.

Yeah, that's great.

So just about a week or two ago, we were just. Kris and I were sitting, and, you know, the routine's always like, how's your day? How's your day? You know, the usual conversation. And then we pulled out this little box and asked these questions. And you start having pretty deep conversations, and there's surface level questions, like, what was your first car? Or whatever. But you go down these interesting discussion.

Paths because you're also learning things you didn't necessarily know.

I know.

You know, and we're 23 years, and we didn't. You know, there's things that we've learned just through this little box of questions. We have one on the dining room table, and we have one on the coffee table in the TV room. And it's great. People come over. The kid or the kids bust out some questions, and everybody likes talking about themselves. So it's really fun.

It was. It was in college, right, that you met in college? Chris and I. Yeah.

Right after.

No, you and your. Your husband, of course.

Like what? I'm so slow. Yes, it was. Yes, it was.

I met a lot of people in college.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Nobody back to college. Once I was like, that was a mistake.

Was it?

So you remember that?

It's horrible the first time.

Yeah.

Yeah. It was bad.

That was bad.

Well, it was a little too close to Mike having just left.

I just left college. I'm like, hey, why don't you come back to Virginia Tech and check it out?

I'll just leave it at that.

Yeah, it was a mistake.

It was our biggest fight, but we've gone.

Well, I don't even think I thought. I just sat there and got beat.

Up, just as you should have yeah, yeah.

But no, we've been back there many times. What were you saying, Jeremy?

No, like, I was just curious, like when. Like when you actually met.

Your first.

The first meeting.

Yeah. Yeah. What?

He's a little. He's so nervous right now.

I'm so scared of. Let me.

Let me take this wine in hand. We met at a bar Fridays.

Yeah. Happy hour food, part of the bar.

So you were sitting at the bar. Do you want me to tell you how you first met me?

Yeah, I remember.

Before you thought I was.

Yeah, I still think.

Do you want a rag? Right? Do you want to get a rag?

I'm, like, so afraid we need a different word. I don't like that. Sweat rag is not good. Oh, the.

The listeners will agree you don't like. As a pet name now said, hey, hon, I'll call you. Hey, sweat rag. Hey, sweat rack.

No, I don't. I don't like that.

Yeah, no. We met through mutual friends. We were. As a TGI Fridays. And she showed up. Our friend. Our mutual friends had gotten married and met Krista. Stalked her.

You know, not real stalk, not aggressively, but sweet.

Just like, wow, she's beautiful. And I asked, and she's like, oh, I don't know if you were not. You were not interested or you were dating someone or whatever. And so I'm like, oh, okay. But I kept in my mind for a good year, year and a half, and then one day, I got a call from my friend, like, oh, Krista noticed you at a party. She's interested in. In meeting you. Whatever. And I had a girlfriend at the time, so I'm like, oh, okay. And then that. That relationship went by the wayside, thank.

God, as I knew it would, because.

Krista made a nasty phone call in the middle of the night. And then. And then we met for reals at the same couple. These. These beautiful couple. They had a little party at their house. We met and saw her there, and then I asked her out. Not there at the party. I was too afraid. But I asked you out. I called you on the phone, and she said, okay, first date. First date. You ever see the Handmaid tail? Yeah, she wore that outfit.

Handmaid's tail, by the way.

Handmaid's. Handmaid's tail.

Hands made. They made lots of hands that year. Well, handsy made.

Okay.

He's not even drinking the can of wine.

So she wore that outfit, basically, but two copies of it, one on top of the other. Just make sure there was nothing I.

Needed to send the right message.

So we Went to this thing. We went to the bomb squad. It was a. I don't know if you know the bomb squad. There was a old restaurant.

94Th Bomb Group.

Yep, bomb group. That's right. Old restaurant. And then about five years ago, that was our first date there. Said about five years ago. Like, let's go back to where we had our first date. The place is gone. They leveled it.

It's like, it looks bombed.

The bomb squad got bombed. So, Hun, before we wrap things up, the last question is, what. What's the future look like for you? Being married to an entrepreneur?

Any entrepreneur, or.

Good question.

Yeah. Your choice.

I would like to be married to you.

Okay.

And I would like more of what we're doing.

Yeah.

The hallelujah button. All right, hon. Well, thank you for joining us today. And don't leave because we'll have more stuff coming up. We have a fun trivia game we're gonna do in just a minute. But here's what I do, Kals. We gotta recap what we learned. I don't know if I want to do that. We have. Do we have listener mail that to answer?

We do.

Okay. And then we'll do a couple other fun things. So let's do that in just a second. Push this button, Kal. It's nextiva who makes the show a reality. And if you want a voice over IP phone system, my friends, or even if you don't call nextiva, call for any reason. Tell Mike sent you. You get 10% off. Nothing.

Tell him that he's on the board of advisors.

Oh, yeah, I know.

I'll be really impressed with that.

Yeah, that'd be funny. Call next to you and say, I know a board member. They'll be like, you do? He's like Mike McAllister. Big what? Who? Because it's an advisory board, they don't record who's on the board.

They have cool baseball hats, too, and they've cool.

Yeah, we have all their gear at our house.

Merch.

Merch. They have cool merch. So next. Even voice over IP phone system. They're exceptional. What they do, Kal, what's our listener. Oh, no.

What's.

What'd you take away from today?

That was smooth.

I know. What's our listener takeaway from today?

I love this. I feel like I could sit and listen to this all day long.

Really?

Yeah. I wish a little bit more juicy tidbits came out, but that's okay.

Yeah.

All you need to do is ask.

What.

We still got time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna do a Newlywed type game. So anything specific you want to share?

Yeah, I mean, I love when Krista said the lack of consistency is more of the issue than even the distance. And I think that that's just really reflective of human nature. Right. Like, we want our routines. We want to be able to know what to expect. And I think it's nice that you verbalize that because I think that's a super smart point.

Yeah, I like that. What'd you learn? Jayblone.

There is a, there's a quote, and I can't remember who said it, but this whole conversation reminded me, you can't have. Great. There's a great woman behind every great man. And, and I thought that because as a, as a wife, like, it sounds like you two were very trustworthy and supportive going through the hard times together.

Yeah.

And I think that, that, like, for anybody who's an entrepreneur, like, you have to have that, or otherwise you're not going to. You're going to make it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it was like the consistency, but also what I heard was the flip side is she started talking about her friends and the routine. Right. So you can get too much routine, but you can also have a. Too much of a lack of consistency. So there's like this, this balance. Right. It can go too far.

Yeah.

And I love her. That's the other part.

Yeah, I love her.

I love you.

I love her a lot. All right, we got a game.

Jake.

Cologne.

Okay, so you're gonna need your little pad.

Sorry.

You got your profit first pad over there.

Yep. Okay. Do you have your paddle? Do you have a pad?

I, I, that's personal.

Okay, so. So this is basically the Newlywed Game, but it's. You're not newlyweds.

No.

Some ways we are.

All right, so I guess I'll start. You answered some of these questions already, so I'm going to skip those. I'm going to go to the good ones here. Okay. This is directed towards Krista about Mike.

Good.

What is his most irritating habit?

Throat clearing.

Oh, well, you're gonna write down.

Oh, sorry.

Is it throat clearing?

Wait, next question. Sorry. It's. I'm already sweating. It irritates me so much. Sorry.

So when does, when does he throat clear? Like, all the time.

I never write it down or answer it.

I never.

Yeah, yeah, just answer.

When doesn't he. It feels aggressive.

What did you think it was Mike?

Did you, Were you.

Did you say that?

No, I, he didn't have time. Yeah, I'M like. It's throw clearing. She. She thrust the answer down. So I. I would have said throat clearing now, but I don't know. I don't know. I'm terrified. When I lay down, I clear my throat a lot. When I stand up, it's less. That's what I thought. Maybe not. Okay.

Okay.

This is. This is the worst. Now we're playing it. Exactly.

Thanks, Jeremy.

This is great. Sorry. Is it hot in here? All right.

The worst. Worst date together.

Worst date together. Yeah.

Just. I mean, even if you wrote down, like, just the. The place.

Worst date together.

Is that too. Is that too hard a question?

No, no.

You have all good dates.

Well, okay. Okay. I got. I wrote mine down. No, we don't have all good dates. Done.

You don't have to fold it.

Oh, now you have to burn it?

Yeah. What would you say, Krista?

Well, I guess I would. Honestly, I can't really think of a bad date, but I would go back to Virginia Tech.

What'd you write down?

Mike? Tonight. Tonight. Tonight will be the worst date ever. And the second one was Virginia Tech. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah. Virginia Tech. That was a bad day. That was bad. I'm still scared of that moment.

You should be.

Yeah.

All right. Who. Who is a bigger baby when they are sick?

Come on.

Everybody knows the answer to this.

Yeah. Good question, though. You ready?

Oh, look at that.

Me.

Yeah.

What, did you write him? Yeah, I wrote me.

What do you do?

I just. I don't like to be sick. No, I just, you know, just lay.

In bed and complain.

Yeah. No.

First of all, I will say this. Mike is almost never sick. And in 23 years, he has had one fever, one stomach bug, and that's three kids. And it is so memorable to me that I think I'd kill you before I would go through it again. I put you out of your misery.

It's for your own.

Yeah, for you.

But you euthanize me. Euthanize me. Okay. I agree.

Oh, yeah, Sorry. I'd put you down gently.

Yeah. Okay. I thought. Thank you.

With a pillow.

That's a good question. How would you kill each other?

You would choke, vomit. It was so horrific.

We only got about another minute. Let's do one more. One or two? Two more questions.

Okay. We. So this is towards Christopher. Mike, favorite body part.

Jeremy.

Hey, you got to spice it up a little bit.

You got spice up a little bit.

Wait, this is me.

Yeah.

Well, you're answering about Mike favorite body part. And he's going to guess what he thinks you're going to say on him.

My favorite body part.

Do hers.

Yeah, I know. Felt it. Felt aggressive from here.

All right, I got my answer. Your favorite body part of mine. What are you gonna.

Honestly, there's so many.

Oh, come on. Just write one. Hurry up. What time's going.

His beard.

Oh, look at that. Look at that.

Arms. I put arms.

Oh, that's what I was gonna use.

I do like your forearms. Yeah, I like my arms.

When we first met, you said you noticed my arms.

Yeah.

So that's what I thought.

All right, one more question. This is an all play, so you answer it from what you think she's gonna answer from. For. For you.

Okay.

And then for. Right.

So what will Krista say for me? And what do I say for you?

For you. Yeah. So who would you cast in a movie to play your spouse?

It's a horrible question.

Why?

Because I don't know any actresses. I know the one that looks like.

You.

But can I. I only can think of one actress right now. And it's not who I'd cast you.

For because you can literally think of one.

Actually, I know nothing about movies.

It's not. That's. Yeah.

What the heck is her name? I can picture her face.

Too bad I can't picture it.

Just say it.

Yeah. No, I can't.

What show, though? Or movie?

Oh, this is a woman. You know, she was an actress from the 80s. You know who I would do? I would choose.

I think he said who I would do. That's what I heard.

My favorite, because I only know one movie ever is Terminator 2.

Linda Hamilton.

I would choose Linda Hamilton from that generation. She was. She was a tough chick.

I do not think you would like that tough of a chick. He would just sit in a corner.

First of all, I'm casting you in a movie. I'm not. This is not like I'm dating her. Who would you.

I don't think he understands the question.

Who would you cast?

No, he said cast in a movie to play you.

Yeah.

Gerard Butler.

Oh, I don't know.

What?

300.

He doesn't know. He does not know what you're talking about.

Thank you.

Do you not know for real?

I really have no idea.

It would be good for me. Let's just put it that way.

You answered it who you wanted. We ain't good for you. It's casting in a movie. It's not even a date.

Oh, damn it.

See, you misunderstood it.

I misunderstood it. Thank you.

I didn't say it the Two of you. It's like, I gotta tell you, I don't like coming to work. I don't like going home. It's, it's. It's just a constant assault my life.

My name is Mike.

I take it back.

Come on, man.

All right. This is the worst day. That was.

That was. I wish I would have picked a better. I didn't know. You didn't know Celebrities.

Yeah, I wish you picked a better question too. What. What do you got for the.

We got some listener mail.

Oh, God. Okay.

Ready?

Yeah.

Turn that frown upside down.

I know. I'm just pissed.

She's Louise. This comes from Cindy Johnson. Being new to Private First, I have a question. I have a small but growing service based business and I fall into the under well under 250,000 group. Hopefully not too much longer. I was wondering if I should be going in reverse with my tap for owner's compensation. What are your recommendations on that? I absolutely plan on hitting and exceeding the 250,000 mark and don't want to take an immediate 15% reduction to that amount once I do indeed hit it.

I was wondering if I should go in reverse with my tap for owners compensation. Like that confuses me exactly what you mean by that. So let me tell you why we set 250,000 or less. For most businesses, they will stay. That business will stay solopreneur as the primary employee until you hit about $250,000. So actually many of those businesses, even we had about 200,000. It's still just you, the entrepreneur, maybe come some virtual help. It's after 250 that the taps start to change. Now here's the other reminder about taps. That stands for target allocation percentages. It's not where you start. Caps or current allocation percentages is where you start. So taps is just something to target. Start adjusting your percentages, Cindy, so they start working for you. That's the simple answer. So I don't really know what you mean by reversing it, but build your way toward the TAPS and see how it's serving you. And if you can operate your business effectively, keep pushing yourself on increasing your pay and your taxes and your profit while you reduce OPEX until you can't do it anymore. It's kind of like exercise. You don't start by putting on the heavy weight. You build your way up to it. So hopefully that answers your question. All right, Kels, take us out.

Don't forget to subscribe and.

Leave a.

Review, whatever you're subscribing.

Normally If I did that, you would be all over my ass, because make T shirts you are right now.

No, I'm not. I think you're making fun of me right now.

I didn't say what an idiot you are, how ridiculous that was, but you got to do a retake because that was horrible.

Please leave us a review wherever you're subscribing.

Yeah, that's right. Hey, why don't you do one more thing? Get me out of here. I'm terrified. And go to mikemotorbike.com. it's mikemicalitz.com. no one can spell Michalowicz. You know that, Hunt.

I do know that.

Yeah. So. But you can spell mikemotorbike.com because you've seen me drive a motorcycle. Never. Well, go to mikemotorbike.com. that was my nickname in high school. And it'll bring you to my website. I have free copies of all my books, at least free downloads of chapters there, plus tons of other resources if you simply click on get the tools. All right, do it now, and we'll see you later.

Bye. Bye. Thank you.

Bye.

Oh, we did do the guitar on all of us. Spading out the guitar, you know, at the end. That final note. Hang on. That final note. Join me, Jeremy, on this final note. Join me, Kels. Here we go, everyone.

I'm not doing that. Oh, we're done.