Activism - Short bites. Episode #10. Take-aways

As a timekeeper, we are about to end this conversation, and I want to thank everyone for this insightful conversation. But I'd like to end this conversation the way it began, with a tour de table. One of the promises of this podcast is that there's too much talking and not enough doing. So let's pass the mic and tell us what you've heard today that will inspire you to start doing something differently than the way you did it prior to this conversation, or just share your last thoughts, something that, you know, that struck a chord with you. And I'm going to start by sharing my own takeaways to give you a moment to collect your thoughts. I heard a lot of good things, and I was, you know, I started this conversation with, I'm excited by this conversation. I am. I think Steve, you were talking about, or I think it was Rudy, you talked about the future belongs to the kids and and I absolutely believe this is true. I had a podcast on authenticity, and it's amazing how if you ask a class of 5-year-olds who's the strongest, all the hands are gonna be in the air. But if you ask a class of 7, 8, 9-year-olds, they're gonna be finger-pointing to a particular individual. So something happens at 7 or 8 years old where the conditioning makes you forget and, you know, uncheck the box of knowing what to do. So what I've been hearing here is that— I also, I think someone said that people don't have the time to think. I actually believe it's a resistance. It's a way, it's an excuse, because either they're not ready or they're just too afraid. And I really thought a lot about how this idea of activism, activist, and how I don't feel like an activist, but I do want to change. And I think all those new words are very empowering because it removes the barriers or the assumption that I had about activists. I learned that unlearning is something key, whether it's that nagging voice that criticize, you know, your own behavior and really doesn't help you do more. So unlearning, and I could have another episode on how do you unlearn, but I also fundamentally heard, and that was a big aha moment for me, that I have to make peace with this idea that the world is going to crumble. And I think that's the resistance in me and in many people, is that we don't want to believe that the world is in bad shape. We want to believe that there's going to be a savior or technology, something's going to happen and everything's going to be fine. And I think that story prevents me from doing anything, you know, and that's, that's why I would go to Netflix or a glass of wine because it's soothes the pain. However, if I'm brave enough to tell myself the world is going— it's not an if, it's more when. Ruby, you have a very positive outlook on life. And I think with those words, those new words, and this positive outlook of life in which technology can actually remove those task-driven jobs that are not interesting, for more creative opportunity, for becoming a dreamer again. To me, that's very powerful, and I can go with that. I can now, I can face the reality the world is crumbling right now as we speak, but the other side of the bridge is a place where I can learn from kids, I can dream again, and I can have a meaningful impact as a game changer, as a meaningful worker, as a conscious leader. And that's exciting. And I think that's— that makes me want to cross the bridge, even if it requires a leap of faith. But it makes me— and so this marketing agency that I started a few months ago, we're trying— we're converting it into a cooperative, right? And we don't know what it means, but we don't want the traditional leadership model. And, you know, I'm thinking about that. So anyway, I want to really thank you all for sharing your vision and perspective. So why don't we pass the mic? Nell, do you want to go first and leave us with a few words or some thoughts that you have during the conversation?

Sure. I— sorry.

Go ahead. Oh, unless Woody, if you're ready.

No, no, no, no, no. I misunderstood. Sorry.

I think there's opportunity in that space between the individual action and what we're each doing. And, you know, I love, Rich, that idea of the kind of 3 to 50 person groups and what do we call that. And I think the bridge is that sort of talking about it, right, and asking the questions, listening to each other and sharing what you're doing. I think there's a lot of leverage that comes from that. And perhaps going back to our theme of the lack of trust, in ourselves, first of all, and then in each other, we are hesitant to say what we're doing for lack of it not being enough, to your point, Steve, or actually having consequence or impact or not being right. You know, and but actually, once you, you know, we see it in our groups and just informally, even with colleagues or friends, when you talk about some of this, it's really freeing for people and satisfying. I think to say, oh yeah, I'm having— what do I do? You know, can I become vegan? Is that just a trend? Do I look goofy or silly for kind of jumping on the bandwagon? Or I really like steak on Saturday nights. Or, you know, this is one of the more mundane ones, to say nothing of conversations about racism or misogyny, which can get a little juicier. But I think just being able and willing to kind of air those doubts and fears and hopes and optimistic things that we're each doing can be really powerful to build those groups of 3 to 50 folks that start laddering up and changing the game.

Very nice, thank you very much. Rudi, you want to share your last thoughts?

Yes, I wanted to add also that everybody thinks that personal transformation is difficult. It is difficult, of course, because it relates to the pain that we had as a child. Most of the pain we carry is in the first 2 years of our lifetime, yeah? And we don't even know it any longer, we don't even realize it any longer, it's just stored in our memory, in our body cells somewhere, and that needs to come out somehow. And that is why the world is so much in pain, because we refuse to actually look inside and feel our own pain, so we export that pain to the outside world, and we only listen to outside influences. So, It means that you need to be courageous and go through your inside pain, of course. But once you start that process, the thing is that nothing has to be difficult. Yeah? When I talk to a lot of people, it's like everything is difficult. The task is like insurmountable, you know? So everything starts with the joy of living, you know? The joy of life, the joy of being together, just living. Look at the kids, they come up, they're always curious. You know, it's like they never fail. A kid never fails because it's not in their concept. Failure is overrated. Failure is just part of a learning process of life. And also we need to get rid of all these negative concepts that are killing us as people and personalities and that are in the system design. And even the highest ranked people within that same design don't even realize or don't even know about that. Yeah, this is how bad it is, you know, but if we start with ourselves in our own community and our own family, I think that is really the way to go and you can bring a lot of change and by dreaming again and by sharing and becoming a role model, you can bring a lot of change and it's really not difficult, it's really joyful.

Very well, it's exciting. Rich?

I want to emphasize a point which I think has been floating around, but I haven't really heard it articulated super well, which is about the relational dimension of this self-development. That in my view, what makes a difference to people is— okay, in the simplest sense, English helps us out here. How do you get courage? You get courage by being encouraged. That's a two-player game. Um, and I think it's the same. I think the same is true for all kinds of personal development. Like, how do I confront these, these traumas of my childhood? I see someone who, who comes to me with authenticity and vulnerability and they say, Rich, I'm with you. I'm going to be at your side. You can experience, you can go into those terrifying memories and I'm going to sit with you and stay with you. And I'm going to hold your hand until you're through the other side. I can't do that on my own. Like the only way I do it on my own is I simulate a person in my head to sit with me. Like, I can't— it's never for me an individual process. It's always a relational process. So I just wanted to emphasize that dimension of it, that the way that we change is seeing another human doing the thing that we want to emulate and them staying with us as we go through it. I really believe that strongly.

I like this idea of sitting with another person.

Yeah, I can totally empathize with that. And what we can learn from is we can learn from indigenous people, because what they do, they create ceremonies, yeah, where they will sit together, you know, to go through that pain. And so ceremonies and, you know, different type of cultures and activities like that where we actually do things together— this is what we do here in Ibiza too, you know, we create like small community gatherings in the weekend, you know, in our home where we just do things together. Yeah, and you know, it's really that simple.

Rituals.

Yes, rituals and create ceremonies and do things together and go through this pain to talk about it, you know. So, and there's a lot of female circles here around, and then we realized there were no men's circles to talk about men's topics, you know, because men also suffer.— but we all suffer because we have been raised to suffer, right? So once we understand that, we can change it.

Anyway, so with those beautiful words, I'm going to let Steve end our conversation with his last words.

Yeah, thank you. It's been a real privilege to be in your company this afternoon. I think there really is something in how we see each other, you know, how we can be seen and see each other and see ourselves, you know, in the that. So that possibly comes back to my question about witnessing. Maybe that's the word for me, you know, that's the contribution I can offer. I think that the, the other piece that I'm taking away is a client referred to this the other day. They called it the messy middle, and this would, in their words, was— they described their organization as operating well at an operational level. They were doing a great job and they could strategize. The middle bit was how do you get from one to the other? Which they really struggled with. And I relate that to this idea of, you know, the very small group, 3 to the 50. That's really where I'm going to focus my questions, I think, about how do we grow this in some kind of way through kinship or mutually supporting each other, convening groups and opportunities. So those are the two things that I've taken away. And that's going to frame my questioning and inquiry for the next period, I guess.

But thank you very much. Wonderful. Well, I'd like to end by asking viewers and listeners to like this video and subscribe to our podcast and tell us what do you stand for and how do you live your own life as an activist? Leave your answers in the comments. Thank you again, everyone, for spending time on this important topic. Thank you. Thank you.

Hi, thanks.