Vishen Lakhiani breaks heartbreak recovery into three stages: Acceptance, where you stop wishing things were different; Harvest the Good, where you write down what you learned and how you grew; and Forgiveness, where you release resentment toward yourself and your ex.
Chapters
In relationship, because people really want to know how do you get through a broken relationship, basically there are 3 stages in that. The first stage is acceptance. You have to actually come to grips and accept that this relationship is forever changed. It's not going to be the same as it was before. That means you can't go into wishful thinking. I wish I would have done something differently. I wish I was somebody else. I wish I was somewhere else. You can't let the mind run off into wishful thinking. You have total acceptance. This relationship is changed forever. What might have been a marriage may transition into a friendship. It may transition into a business relationship. It may transition into something we don't know. But it's different. It's not going to be the same. And so first is acceptance. Second is harvest the good, meaning You go through the relationship and you see everything you learned in it. You know, who was I when I came into this relationship? Who am I now? What have I learned? What lessons have I learned? How have I changed? What little nuance of me is now available now that wasn't available when I first came into this relationship? How did I grow? Harvesting the good. Harvesting the good. That's stage 2. Stage 3, forgive all the rest. You know, so These are stages that you have to go through one at a time. Wow. You know, you can do them simultaneously, but it's not a one-and-done kind of thing because acceptance may take a moment. Oh, if only I would have done such and such, we could have stayed together. If only she hadn't done such and such, we could have stayed together. You know, so you have to really come to an acceptance. This is done. This is no longer going to be the same. So the mind doesn't run off on tributaries of wishful thinking. Then you really start to harvest the good. You know, what did I learn? Where did I grow? You know, how am I a better person because of this relationship? And then you can actually write that down. You can start, oh my God, because sometimes in going through the process, your mind focuses on all the negative, you know? Right. So this shows you that that relationship was not a waste of time. You learned A, B, C, and D. You can, you're gonna have that forever. You're gonna have that lesson forever, even though the person may not be in your life in the same way.
