A 6-step Process for Sexual Satisfaction | Genevieve

In my opinion, how you make love to yourself is how you make love to others. It's how you make love to life. So it's all the same. If you want to know whether or not the person you're about to make love to is going to be incredible, watch how they sip their tea. Watch how they look at flowers. Watch how they touch their own body. Because the better you can be with yourself and your own body, the better you can make love to another, the better you can make love to the world. It's kind of like yoga. It's a mirror.

Welcome back, everyone, to the mindvalley podcast. Our conversation today, ooh, is so juicy and interesting. It is called the Orgasmic Arc Mastering the six Steps to Pleasure. And this is a book by Genevieve Pleasure. So I met Genevieve. Sorry, Genevieve Pleasure is not her name. It is her Instagram handle that's at G E N E V I E V E. Pleasure. So I met Genevieve at a mutual friend's birthday party in New York and I was fascinated by what she was talking about. And so what we're going to learn today is this concept called the Orgasmic Arc. It is a six step process for sexual satisfaction. You're going to learn about the Orgasmic arc process, how we can understand and confidently utilize our sexual energy to live the life of our dreams, and how to use sexual energy to even help you recover and heal from trauma. So Genevieve is a fascinating teacher. She has been studying and perfecting the art of erotic alchemy for over 15 years and is committed to shifting the cultural narrative around sexuality and bringing hope and solutions to other trauma survivors. She is the founder of the Orgasmic Arc framework, which lies at the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, quantum physics and humanity. And it basically helps her students confidently utilize sexual energetics, in her words, to live the life of her dreams. We'll come to that in a moment. So she has been running workshops. She wrote a book that was a bestseller in its category, and her goal is to wake people up to the fullness of who they are and reintroduce them to power, purpose, passion, and, of course, pleasure. So, Genevieve, welcome to the mindvalley podcast.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for this conversation. So excited.

And for the men who are listening, I. I take it this topic is going to be mainly for women. But if you are a man, stay tuned because. Because your woman is going to love you.

I always say understanding this, if you can understand the Orgasmic arc, no matter what your gender is, you'll become an erotic master. So I think everyone wants that. No matter.

I like that. An erotic master. So what is an orgasmic arc? Let's start with that concept.

So the orgasmic arc is really tracking your natural way of being anyway. You know how outside a flower will bloom after you plant the soil. Our sexuality is actually the same. And for hundreds and thousands of years, what we've done is we've taken our natural sexual essence and we've boxed it into these strange phenomena of rushing to get to the orgasm or trying to utilize sex to take from other people. And it's gotten really mushy over the years. And so the orgasmic arc helps us to really simplify what is eroticism again and bring us back to the ease of that our pleasure is innately already inside of us.

I see. That's beautiful. So from the perspective of, of someone who's listening here, are you going to be talking about orgasms as in self induced or with a partner?

So in my opinion, how you make love to yourself is how you make love to others. It's how you make love to life. So it's all the same. If you want to know whether or not the person you're about to make love to is going to be incredible, watch how they sip their te. Watch how they look at flowers. Watch how they touch their own body. Because the better you can be with yourself and your own body, the better you can make love to another, the better you can make love to the world. To me, it's kind of like yoga. It's a mirror for how we live our lives.

I'm sipping tea as I'm recording this podcast and now I'm feeling so conscious about the way I sip tea. Am I sipping it correct? Are people judging me? Anyway, so that was a fun response. Now you also talk about the concept of, of using sexual energy to live the life of your dreams. Define that. What, what are you talking about here?

So a lot of people try to live the life of their dreams by pushing to create something they want to. They have these goals and they try really hard and they overwork their body and they push really hard. But what I've seen with erotic energy is if we can actually learn to harness it, our desires get created much easier, we start to manifest with ease. And it's kind of we just start living in this pleasure based life instead of this forcing, pushing, goal based life. And I think right now especially, I don't know what you think about this vision, but I think right now especially a lot of people are really noticing the burnout. They're noticing that they don't want to keep pushing and forcing and they're ready to start. Like, how do I do this with more ease?

Yes, absolutely. I've gone through that change as well. I realized life is too short to be going through so much stress and pressure and strain. And I'm trying to make more space in my time to experience life. And I'm also seeing this happening as a cultural phenomenon, like companies around the world experimenting with shorter working hours, with more wellness in the workplace and so on. So this is great. Now you speak about a six step process. Let's talk about that process.

Okay, so first I'm going to outline all six steps so that you have it in your head. So we've got safety. That's number one. Intrigue, Directionality, openness, beingness, and then expression. And there's an acronym, C, do, B C. So C do be.

Okay.

S I is C. Like let's take.

That down again so we all remember. Okay, so it's C, do be. So it's safety. What is the first one? Safety.

Safety. Then intrigue.

Intrigue, yes.

And then there's directionality.

Directionality.

Which leads us to openness and then beingness.

Beingness.

Into expression.

Expression. I love this. C, do be. Okay, let's start with safety. So I'd love for you to take us through the six steps.

So excited. Okay, so safety is. I've been working in sexuality for such a long time and I would always notice that there was kind of this surface level sex happening. It was kind of just like you were going through the motions. And the other thing I started to notice was that a lot of people, specifically women, but I've also seen this in men, their bodies aren't actually relaxed when they start getting aroused, when they start going to have sex. And so because the body is not aroused, your prefrontal cortex is still super active. Sex is an animal response. That's back. That's the amygdala.

Right?

The prefrontal is super active. How are you going to have great sex? It's impossible. And this is really because as a culture, we haven't instituted safety as the first step of arousal. We've thought to ourselves, okay, if I'm going to have sex, I need to get excited and I need to get the other person excited. And what that does is it actually bypasses our bodies. It bypasses the relaxation that's needed for us to actually have great sex. So it's when I first teach this to people, they Feel like it's sort of counterintuitive, because rest and grounding is actually the first thing that you want, especially if you've had a history. Like many women, I would say 75% of women, probably more 75, reported, have a history of being touched too quickly in a sexual manner. And so when that happens, the body starts to reject and get really resentful. And then women come to me and they say, I can't feel anything. I don't feel any arousal. I don't understand. It's not happening. That's because the body's not yet ready to receive. So we have to start with this baseline of safety. And what this means is how can we relax our bodies, ground our bodies, feel like the muscles in our bodies are totally restful. Do we actually feel safe in this scenario? Or are we just rushing into sex because we feel like we're supposed to really, really resting in safety from safety. Here's the most amazing thing. Vision. This blew my mind that this happened. This was like a theory that I had, and I started testing it out on clients, and I was blown away. When you can actually drop someone deeply down into safety, now, this is not easy. A lot of us have severe trauma, developmental trauma, sexual abuse traumas. This is not easy for some people. They need to go and get support in order to find safety. But when the body actually knows how to rest in safety, authentic arousal will happen. It's fascinating. All of a sudden, someone's going to start feeling aroused, and they're going to be like, I don't understand why I'm aroused. Nothing's happening to me. No one's doing any. Anything to me that's actual arousal. So that leads us into step two.

Right. What is your advice for men? How do we help our partners with safety?

So you have to feel safe in your body too. A lot of men that I work with don't understand. They think they feel safe because they're very good at being the providers, and they don't have any scenarios where they've felt unsafe. Men don't walk around feeling unsafe. But what I've noticed working with men is that they actually don't actually know what real safety feels like. What they're doing instead is they're good at taking care of the surroundings, but their body's not actually relaxed. We can feel if someone in front of us is not actually resting. If someone in front of us is not actually relaxed. We can feel that for all bodies, but specifically for the men. Make sure that you're fully Relaxed. To give a somatic cue, I always ask people to feel the base of your tailbone just really drop into it and make sure all the muscles around your pelvis are relaxed. If not, it's going to come across aggressive almost accidentally beautiful.

So safety is the first step of the six step orgasmic arc. And then you go on to intrigue.

Yeah. So this happens naturally. Like I said, it's like if you plant the soil well enough in safety and you feel like you can trust your body, you feel you can trust the person in front of you, what will naturally happen is you'll have this intrigue. Have you ever heard of the research study of the kids that were at the playground and in one of the. What they did for one playground is they put a fence around the outside of the playground and then in the other playground they didn't put a fence around the outside. And guess what happened to the kids that had the fence because they had the safety. They actually played all the way to the edges. And our sex is the same. If we can land safety first, we'll start to notice a natural curiosity in our bodies. This is what I call authentic arousal, which is intrigue. A lot of people think that they're aroused, but they're actually just excited. This is a very different feeling in the body. Very different. So excitement feels like, I need to go get something. I'm going to go and get this from this person. Actual arousal feels like, oh, my goodness, this feels so good in my body right now. I am so in love with how my body feels. That's intrigue. That's curiosity. And the other thing about intrigue is a lot of us haven't given ourselves permission to feel men, specifically to feel your bodies, to actually go into your bodies and feel what's happening. This is huge. But also women, how do we go in and notice what are the sensations in our bodies? And can I give myself permission to actually feel this? Because our sexuality has been shut down for so long.

So intrigue is also, like, you're using that word in a way as a synonym for feeling adventurous.

Exactly. It's like a curious. It's like that kind of curious flirtation.

Exploration about what's going to happen next.

Exactly. And we can stay there for a long time. You don't have to rush. You just build it.

Safety is a precursor to intrigue, to creating that feeling of intrigue. Is there, are there other things that we can do as a man or a woman to help create intrigue in that situation?

So intrigue, the thing to do is permission, which means give permission to yourself, give permission to your partner to feel whatever's happening. There could be sensations, there could also be emotions. That's fine, that's part of sex. Let all that come up and it's just full permission to feel, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel. That's really it. If at any point as you go, I don't know if you saw the diagram of the orgasmic arc, but as you go through the orgasmic arc, you can always go back to safety. Because especially for people that aren't used to it, when they start to feel a lot, their, their nervous systems might panic. Then at that moment we go, I'm going to ground again. I'm going to go back to safety, I'm going to rest again. And then we can build the energy again from there.

I love that. Okay, so safety, intrigue, that's the first two of the CDUV methodology. Now we go to a concept called directionality. Yes, let's talk about directionality.

This is really cool. And the best way I can describe this one is have you ever been like making, I don't know about you, vishen, if you want to tell your audience this, but making out on a couch or something and you felt the energy, you felt the intrigue, right? And then the energy just starts to die and you don't know why. No one's doing anything, Nothing's happening. It just starts to wane and you're like, what happened? We were doing great. This is because we're missing the next step. This next step of directionality means that we have to direct the energy somewhere in a self pleasure practice. What will happen is if you're in intrigue and you're feeling and you're feeling and you're feeling, the next thing that happens is your body will actually show you where you're tense. It's fascinating and it makes sense neurologically. The pain and the pleasure receptors are very similar. So if you're in pleasure, you'll probably feel a little bit of pain. If your body is not fully moving yet, if the energy is not moving through your body when that tension comes in, in directionality, let's start with self pleasure in directionality. What you're going to do is go into the feeling as deeply as you can and hold yourself there. Now as a culture, we're not used to doing this. We're not used to sitting with discomfort. As soon as we start to feel uncomfortable, especially in sex, we don't think, oh, discomfort, this is part of sex. But it actually, because the purpose of sex is to help clear the energy to be your full self. So you go into directionality, you meet it fully. This is where that kind of warrior energy has to come in. No matter what your gender is, you bring in that were energy and you stay with yourself. You stay with the moment. Now, if you're having sex with someone, you'll start to notice that they might start bringing you toward a certain part of their body. All of a sudden they'll give you a hip or give you an arm or give you their pelvis. Stay there. The biggest challenge that I see is that people don't stay. They try to fix, they try to do other things to the rest of the body. Just stay fully focused on the part of their body that they're giving you. And energetically, you're doing something really miraculous for them. You're helping them be with themselves, which is the whole purpose of sex anyways. So that's, that's pretty cool. That's where the alchemy comes in. And this is also where you can utilize sexuality to clear any negative, anything, any tension, any illnesses. This energy can actually come up and show you where you need to realign yourself.

So back to the example you gave. Okay, so you're making out with someone on the couch and then all of a sudden the energy dies. Or the energy might die. How do we prevent that energy from dying? How do we apply directionality there?

If you get really in tune with what's happening in your body, you'll start to notice where the energy is getting stuck. Most people, what they do, as soon as they start to feel tension in the body, they go into their heads and they go, how do I fix this? What do I do next? And then the sex dies. What you do instead, when you notice yourself start to go into your head, you drop back down into your body and you go, okay, right where I'm feeling. When I'm feeling, I'm going to stay there. It's very subtle, but it makes a world of difference. This is the mastery. The steps get harder as we go along. This is a mastery level for sure.

Okay, so we are feeling where in our body we might have attention, where we might have a block and we are dropping into it. But doesn't that take us away from our partner?

So this is what we would think, but most people are so hyper focused on the other person during sex. And this is what's making sex not fulfilling. If you can actually stay in your own experience in your body the whole time, you're having a shared sexual experience rather than giving to the partner. And that creates a more phenomenal experience for both of you, I promise.

Oh, I like that. Okay, so there's directionality and now we go to the O in do. So again the acronym is C. DO be, S, I, D, O, B, E. We now come to the O, which is openness.

Yeah. So this is the orgasm. Openness is the orgasm. What an orgasm? Actually, to me an orgasm is the whole thing. But the moment of climax is the openness. Now openness simply means that you're releasing something. So this could be that you're self pleasuring and you go deeply into directionality and you meet yourself fully there. And then the next thing that happens, you start crying a lot. You're crying, you don't know why you're crying. That doesn't make any sense. Because you were trying to give yourself pleasure, but here you are, you're crying. That's the same thing as an orgasm. You're still releasing energy. You might scream, that's still releasing energy. You might climax, you might have those. Kriya's right, that's still releasing energy. So the openness is what we're all trying to get to. The problem is that we bypass the first three steps to try to get there and our bodies tense up and shut down, which is not what we want.

I see. So openness is the orgasm and then following the orgasm There are two additional steps and number 5 is beingness.

I always say that 5 and 6 are optional extra credit, but I bet for your community they want the optional extra credit. You could actually walk away in openness and feel great. You can be like, we have the orgasm, we're good, let's move on. But what I've noticed is that if you can teach yourself to stay after the openness and just rest a bit, all that oxytocin is going to start to flare up. The mind will be super clear and the hormones are going to be raging. Right? You'll feel amazing if you stay there. You'll actually move into a place that I call beingness, which is a space of total oneness. We're getting kind of spiritual here. This is the space where everything feels like it's opening. You feel like you're in total surrender. And if you're with a partner, this is the space where you feel like you're becoming one. The biggest thing to do in beingness is to do nothing. The second that you start thinking you're not in beingness anymore. So it's Literally. Yeah.

What type of thoughts go through your head when you're in beingness post orgasm?

Zero. None.

So it's literally just experiencing the moment.

Yep. You're in liminal state. So Joe Dispenza speaks about this in his meditations. He's getting us to the same place. It's this high vibrational frequency. You're in totally liminal state. You have zero concept of time or space. It's phenomenal, the space. And I think we all deserve to get here more frequently because it can actually heal our bodies in a really profound way and bring our spirit back into our bodies. For some people they might hit beingness for a millisecond. Fine. As you continue the practice, it'll get longer and longer and longer and longer and you'll just be able to hang out right there.

Right, right. I'm looking at the comments coming in. People are saying oneness and bliss, afterglow, liqu sunshine. People are attempting to describe their state of beingness. If this is a fun experiment for those of you who are live audience, go ahead and type in the chat how you feel about that state of beingness, the post orgasmic state. And if you want to get. And if you want to get juicy, describe how you experience that state, whether with yourself or with your partner.

And one thing I wanted to say about. Yeah, one thing I wanted to say about beingness is there's a difference between dissociated beingness and embodied beingness. I know your audience can will understand me on this one because you have an advanced level here. There's some people, when they meditate, they just go flying out of their bodies and there's nothing wrong with that. I love doing that. I have a meditation practice that does that for me. But in your self pleasure or in your sacred sexuality practice, you actually want to have an embodied sense of beingness. Because then what happens is your cellular structures start to soften and the neurons in your brain are acting with more ease. This is what you want for your body. So this is how I healed my own chronic illness. And I have so many people that have come to me and healed just like miracle moments in their bodies because we're really, we're feeling that beingness inside of our skin, not flying out.

Wow, that's amazing. So I'm looking at the chats that are coming in, right? People are saying tingly, present, electric, tasty, vulnerability, out of body relaxation. These are all descriptions for the state of beingness. Feeling every cell vibrating. Beingness allows you to bask in the red root chakra energies and empower both people to have a more solid concrete fountain of sense and self. Someone said, sometimes I just end up releasing a giggle.

So that's step six. That giggle is step six. Can I share about what's next?

Okay, so let's go on to step six. Expression.

So step six is when you notice yourself after you've had sex. You might start giggling or you'll want to start talking to your partner and you'll notice yourself in this state. You'll be very open. This is often the moments when you'll say I love you to your partner for the first time. Or you'll get these visions with your partner and go, we should buy a house in the Netherlands. You'll just get these ideas in your self pleasure practice. This is where sex magic comes in. You can actually also do this with a partner. But this is the actual sex magic right here. Because a lot of people and I have a feeling your community knows what sex magic is. But I want to put a distinction here. A lot of people think that sex magic is. I'm going to put in the field something that I want and then I'm going to self pleasure and then I'm just going to get it. That's what a lot of people think. What I actually have known to be true is that expression gives you your destiny. So when you're stay with me here, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit far out, but stay with me. When you're fully in your body, you've released anything in directionality, you've opened up into your oneness state, your God, self and beingness. The next thing that comes in for you will be the next step of your divine mission, the next step of your fate. So it could be a visual, like I'm supposed to create this next. Or it could be a feeling or a word. This is what you follow. Because if you follow that expression, you're following your intuitive guidance, your fate. And then the sex magic comes from you. I don't believe that we can actually take things from the world and make them happen. I believe that everything comes from us. Like we birth things into existence. This expression phase is where we do that. This is your authentic expression. And to me, if you self pleasure every day with using the orgasmic arc, you'll start living in your authentic expression. And that feels. So this is where the ease comes in.

So let's go through these six phases again. But this time let's apply it to self pleasure. Okay, so safety. What does that look like from a self pleasure perspective?

So safety. If I'm self pleasuring, the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to ask my body if it's feeling safe right now. Super simple. If it's not feeling safe, I'm going to give it what it needs. It could be something in the room that I need to set up more frequently though. It's a type of touch, a song, a way that your body needs to relax and rest. For some people, this is more challenging. You might need someone to help coach you into safety because a lot of people actually walk around not knowing what relaxation is and what rest is. This is surprising to me in my career, but it's true in self pleasure. You're going to go, how can I find this place deep within me that's fully relaxed or fully rested? It's not trying to get to the next place totally rested. If we try to put intrigue on top of it, we're not in safety anymore. We need to stay. Stay in safety for as long as you can and then intrigue will happen.

Okay, so now we go from safety to intrigue. Describe intrigue from the perspective of self pleasure.

So in intrigue, you'll start to notice sensations in your body. So it might be tingling, it might be heat, it might be electricity. I'm thinking of what people have told me they feel. It might be that they get a taste in their mouth. It might be that their breath starts to expand. This will happen naturally. Let your body do this and your only job is to give it permission. You could also use your breath and your touch to increase it. If you're noticing, let's say, tingling in your hands, you could take your hands and move them around your body to increase the feeling of tingles so that you're having a full body sensation, not just a concentrated sensation.

Then you go to directionality.

Yep. So this is where if you're in full body intrigue, you're in total pleasure. You're just milking it. What's going to happen next is the body is going to bring you to a part of it. So if the body brings you to your genitals, let's say, let's say we go there, which honestly doesn't happen as frequently as people would think. More, more likely what happens is we have to work on all of the blocks first. But eventually, let's say we get to the genitals. What will happen is you stay with the genitals and directionality just Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay there. All the energy is going to concentrate into that part of your body. You stay. And then you'll move into openness, which is the orgasm. So that could happen. You could also do it with your heart space, your heart chakra. That will be a heart gas.

Okay. From directionality we go to openness, which is the orgasm.

Right. That's why that's the opening. It's the. It's the flowering of the flower you've opened. And in openness, your job is to just feel it, let it release. You'll notice that these steps are very Yin Yang. Yin Yang, Yin Yang. So openness is the yin. We're in that space.

And then you go to beingness, which is.

You won't even know you're in beingness. That's the beauty of beingness. You'll just end up.

Beingness is post orgasm. So in the concept of self pleasure, what does beingness look like?

You stay completely. So you've just orgasmed and you just stay there. Don't get up and start doing something. Stay. What will happen is you'll notice yourself kind of drifting. You'll move into a surrendered space. The second you start thinking again, go back to safety and do it all over again. Okay?

Okay. Surrendered space. And then finally expression.

Yeah. So from the beingness in your orgasm, or, excuse me, in your self pleasure practice, what will happen is your body might show you ways that it wants to move. It's almost like your body starts moving you. For me, when I'm in expression, all of a sudden I'll start stretching in a way that I didn't know I was supposed to stretch. It's illogical, but you follow this kind of intuitive movement. And as you're following that, your body will start to realign itself, which is what we want. It's the Kundalini, right? It's realigning.

Yeah.

And then you'll also start to get these ideas. Maybe or maybe not. But most likely you'll get these ideas. Follow the ideas. I always keep a journal next to me and I'll write down. Sometimes I'll get names of things I want to create, things like that. Write it down and follow those desires. Because that's the sex magic right there.

I see, I see. Okay, so now a couple of questions coming in. So one person asks, why do I feel orgasmic when I'm meditating?

Because you're in beingness. So that's awesome. It means that what's happening in your meditation is that your body is adjusting to that liminal state. Your body is starting to move into that subconscious space which is also orgasmic space. It's all the same. All these methodologies and all these tools are all bringing us to the same space. That's the hope.

Okay, so now let's come to an interesting question. So someone asked, and I'm deliberately not reading out names here because of the private nature of what we're talking about. So I'm reading out your questions, but we won't call out in anyone's names just to make sure everyone is private. Okay. So this person said, does anybody feel guilty or feel that they've lost something? Because when I'm on a no FAP journey, things seem different. So this is a question about guilt from self pleasure. What are your thoughts on that? Especially for men? Because in the spiritual area, a lot of men are told, do not ejaculate. It is bad spiritually curious to know your thoughts.

Great. I love this question. Thank you. So what men are used to doing is they're moving right into openness. They're moving right to the climax without doing steps one through three. So they're not actually taking the time to rest. They're not taking the time to feel their full body. They're not taking the time to actually see what's going on in their bodies, what's going on in their energy. And then they have this openness that feels kind of. And this could happen in sex too. Like that was. That feeling comes because we simply were dissociating and then bringing ourselves into the orgasm. So that. Because we're. The thing about it is a lot of us walk around with so much tension in our bodies that as a culture, we've utilized sex to release. And this is the big thing that I really want to help people eradicate. Because sex is not here to release anything. It's actually here to bring you back to yourself. You release authentically. But what often happens is we just can't handle all of the energy in our body. We don't know what to do after a long day of work. And we've been so disembodied that the orgasm is the only thing that can bring us back to ourselves. The orgasmic arc puts you in your body before you reach the orgasm. So that when you have the orgasm, it's a more fulfilling, nourishing, sustainable experience and you're actually reaching satisfaction. If not, you're going to have an orgasm, and then you're just going to keep wanting. It's like you've. You've let the energy out of the balloon, but then the balloon fills right back up again. And this is where sex addiction comes in and porn addiction and things like that.

I see, I see. So your advice for men who feel guilty upon masturbation or ejaculation would be.

Would be to go into safety first and actually.

Safety first, okay, yeah.

Instead of going straight to orgasm.

That's an interesting way of looking at it culturally. There is in many religious cultures, and I grew up in a religious background as well. I felt very guilty if I pleasured myself. And it was only in my early 20s that I realized that it was nonsense. And self pleasure can be a very healthy practice.

Well, I think, I think you and I share this sentiment, vision that our society has kind of set us up to move away from the things that actually are healthy for us and bring us toward the things that are very not healthy for us. So the journey with sexuality is to actually recognize how beautiful it is, how it's a very sustainable, beautiful, nourishing experience that's full of love. It's just that our society has done a lot to it to take that out of it. And so it's not your fault that you feel guilt. But of course, of course, we live in a world where the game of it is, this is shameful, this is bad. And then as spiritual seekers, we go in and we figure out, is this really bad, or is it just the way that I've been told for decades, love it.

I like that you shot that. Okay, so here's an interesting question. As a man, and this is from a member of the audience. As a man, how can I help my wife to apply the six phases to have this deep healing orgasm? So can you take us through the six phases, but now from the perspective of a man working on his partner, Absolutely.

So the biggest thing, as I said before, if you lay the soil, she will blossom. So what a lot of people do is they go, well, how do I, what do I do to her? What do I do? What do I do to her? We want to pull back from that and instead go into, how can I make this experience as safe as humanly possible for her? If she is a woman, there is a 75 or higher percent chance that she has been molested or abused or assaulted sexually in her life. That's just the stats hold that. Bring her deep, deep, deep into safety by grounding your energy. Figure out what brings her safety. Does she like to be held? Does she like to be cuddled? Does she need space? First, some People really need a lot of space first. Is there music? And just start. If you can allow her whole body to relax, she will start to naturally feel aroused. If you look at a woman's body, the area around the pelvis, there's so many muscles there that move the legs in toward the vagina. What we want to do is we want to actually see the muscles relax and open, and then the vagina will actually naturally open. It is very cool. We don't push through that. We wait. The biggest thing I could tell anyone is patience. Safety. Patient safety. Patient safety.

That's the s. Now the next one is the eye. Intrigue.

So what will happen?

This man is now. Is now helping take his partner into intrigue.

Exactly. So he's. He's grounded in safety. He's fully rooted in safety. She feels safe. She's going to naturally feel arousal, and she's not going to know what hit her because it's not going to be the arousal that she's used to. Okay. So she'll be like, what is going on? Your job is to celebrate. Help her to continue to feel herself. So if you notice that she's not breathing very much, breathe with her more. If you notice that she's not moving very much, move your body. Help unlock your own body. It'll give her more permission to relax hers. If at any point she freezes, go back to safety and then start again. Okay. So Intrigue is really just permission kind of mirroring what she's already doing to herself. If you watch your partner. If you actually take a step back and watch your partner, you'll notice that she already kind of knows how to be with herself. And Intrigue. Just mirror that. Give her a little more. It's like you're giving her a little extra oomph, but you're not going to do anything to her. Makes sense.

Okay, so Intrigue. And now we go on to directionality. Step three.

So the biggest thing with directionality is do not back away. There is a lot of. If someone has never experienced authentic sex before, there is going to be a lot of energy in their body that is very. Really needs to release, really needs to come out. Your job is to be like a warrior and stay there. So if she. If you notice that her. Let's say, give an example. If you notice that her belly starts tightening, you're going to put your hand on her belly, and you're going to dig into it at the palm of your hand, and you're going to stay right there. You're not going to move. Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay. Just stay. Don't go anywhere. A lot of people will try to soothe it. They're like, oh, let me relax the belly. Let me do something else to your body. Just stay there. You stay, you stay, you stay. And then you'll notice something really cool will happen. Which? Step four. It'll happen automatically. It'll be like a ripple through her body. It'll be a ripple through her spine. This is the kundalini rising. This is the orgasm. So you're staying, staying, staying. The orgasm is rising, and all of a sudden she's opening like a flower. And you don't know how you did it. So it's a lot simpler than we think. We're doing so much in sex. It's so much simpler. So much simpler. So much more intuitive.

So that takes us to step four, which is openness or the orgasm. And then you move her to beingness.

Yeah. So beingness. You rest with her in beingness. You might feel her kind of. If you're energetically sensitive, you might feel her floating away a bit. That's okay. I call this the yoni verse. That's my little joke. She might go into the yoni verse. That's okay. Just hang out with her and hang out with their rest right there. She's going to probably have a smile on her face. Just hang. And then the next thing that happens is step six. She'll open her eyes, she'll look at you, and she'll give you an authentic expression of herself. This is what you want.

Got it. Awesome. That. That is such a useful tip for the men in the audience. Thank you. So, Genevieve, you mentioned sex magic. Let's talk about that for a moment in the few minutes we have left.

Absolutely. So again, we talked before about how sex magic is not about taking something that you want from your ego and then having sex and then wondering why it's not happening. What we do instead is we wait for. I actually believe that our fate is kind of. We have scripts already of our lives. We know where we're going. We've always known who we are. And little by little, we just take steps toward that thing. The expression stage, which is the sex magic space, will bring you there if you desire. Let's say you're watching right now and you're desiring to get married. You want to bring in the man of your dreams. What will happen as you move through the orgasmic arc is indirectionality. You'll notice that any resistance against the man of your dreams will come up. So what that means is that all of a sudden you'll start to feel, am I good enough? Is he out there? Is this right? Like, whatever the challenge is, you want to feel where that is in the body and actually go deeply into it. Go deeply into it. Feel all the feelings, feel all the sensations, feel all the tension, anything holding you back. Once you do that, your body will open, your body will relax. You'll hang out in beingness for a second, and then the next thing that happens is you'll get the next best step. It could be something as simple as today when you go out for coffee, you get a vision of saying hello to the man at the coffee shop. It could be that simple, or it could be put on your earrings today as you walk out the door. But you'll get these intuitive downloads and these are the ones to trust. We as a culture, we don't trust these intuitive hits. But the more you can trust that, that's where the magic is. I know you can relate to this me on this vision that those intuitive hits, this is what creates everything.

Beautiful, Genevieve. So thank you so much for being with us today. So that is Genevieve, and her Instagram is G E N E V I E V E Genevieve Pleasure. And you can learn about her through her book, the Orgasmic Mastering the Six Steps to Pleasure. So, Genevieve, thank you so much for joining us in this episode of the mindvalley podcast.

I'm so happy that we got to have this conversation. Thank you so much.

Thank you. And for those of you who find this topic interesting, the exploration of sexuality has been one of the biggest growing areas in mindvalley right now. If you're a mindvalley member, there are a number of programs that recently got released. Linda Clemens, Body Language for Dating just came out. And we have several programs on sex emerging as well in the next few months. Dr. Amy Killen, who is probably one of America's leading sexual optimization health experts. Her program, the Science of Great Sex is coming to Mind Valley as well. That's a scientific approach to sexuality. Leila Martin, she's the number one tantra teacher in the world. Her program on sex magic and tantra is also coming to Mind Valley. Bibi Brzewska, she teaches self pleasure and breast massage for women. This program is for women. It's all about the art of pleasuring yourself. It's called Waves of Pleasure. This too will be coming to mindvalley. And finally, Rachel Pringle's Wild Woman Sensuality is already available in mindvalley. So we have a massive library of programs to help you really step into your sexiest, most embodied self. Most of these programs are at least 70 of them are tailored to women. That's because our audience is pretty much 60 to 70% woman right now. But if you're a man, these programs are amazing for you as well and will just help you become a better lover and allow you to give more in the relationships that you're in. Even our Tantra program has a male part and then a female part, depending on on your gender. And so if you're interested in exploring sexuality, more strongly urge you to check out the programs available in mindvalley. And all of these are available for you. If you become a Mindvalley member, you can learn more on mindvalley.com and if you go to mindvalley.com forward/relationships, all our relationship programs are gently listed for you. So Genevieve, thank you so much for being in this podcast and for all of you listening, I'll see you in the next episode of the mindvalley Podcast.