Florencia Andres says self-doubt comes from hearing more criticism than praise as a kid. She teaches LSD: listen to the negative thought, physically stop it, then declare a new belief about yourself. A medical student used it for ten days before an exam and placed first.
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Children receive an average of 45 positive comments per day, 460 negative comments per day. So 460 times that somebody, mother, father, teacher, neighbor, stranger tells us, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not athletic enough, you're not attractive enough. Do you ever wonder where our self doubts come from? Because we're not born that way. We're not born with self doubts. All research shows that babies from all over the world, the north, the south, the east, the west, the rich countries, the poor countries, they're all born with only just two. Fear of falling down, fear of noises. All the other fears are acquired. So when and how do we learn to doubt ourselves? There is a fascinating study, well, fascinating and terrifying at the same time, that shows that children receive an average of 45 positive comments per day. And guess how many negative comments per day? Take a guess. 200. A little less. Let's go up with a 200. Okay. Children receive an average of 45 positive comments per day, 460 negative comments per day. So 460 times that somebody, mother, father, teacher, neighbor, stranger tells us, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not athletic enough, you're not attractive enough. Let me do it. What's wrong with you? Are you dumb? What is wrong with you? Those collection of comments that we get when we turn into adults, they turn into limiting beliefs. And limiting beliefs are these voices inside our heads that when we're facing something new, we have a new challenge. They go, who do you think you are? Who are you trying to fool? This is too much for you. Stop dreaming. Be realistic. I was once coaching a while ago, a young man, young doctor, he was in his last year of medical school and he had a dream. And his dream was to work in the most prestigious hospital in his country. And he said, in order to achieve this dream, I need to sit for an exam. But there's one thing. Thousand candidates sitting for the exam and I need to come out among the top 10. And the first thing he tells me is I have never been a top 10 student. Never. And so I asked him, did you study for this exam? He goes, yeah, I studied. Did you give your very best? Yes, I gave my very best. But you know what he said? It's been so many years of studying so hard and giving my very best, and I've never been even close to the top 10. And if I don't make it there, my dream, I need to forget about it. And so I told him I Know exactly what you need to take. I know exactly what you need to do. And he says, what is that? And I tell him, you need to take lsd. The guy's a doctor. He looks at me like drugs. And I say, nope, no drugs involved in this LSD approach. And this is what LSD looks like. And so I tell him, the L stands for listen. I want you to listen to the thoughts you're having. You're saying, I've never been a top 10 student. Listen and ask yourself, is that thought giving you confidence or stealing you confidence? Well, yeah, but it's the truth. I've never been a top 10. Is it giving you confidence or stealing me? Stealing confidence. Can you realize that with that thought you're affirming an identity that you actually want to change? And he says, well, yes, let's move to the second step. And the second step is stop. You need to stop those thoughts the minute they appear. Stop them right away. And he goes, how? How? They're popping up all the time. And I tell him, you will have to train yourself to stop them. And this is how you can do this. Does anybody have a headband, wristband or. Yeah. Oh, great, thanks. I told him, I want you. We had 10 days from this conversation to the exam, to the big exam. I told him, I want you to wear something like this, a wristband. And every time you listen to the thought, you go, snap, stop, snap, stop, snap, stop. And he goes, it hurts. Good. It's a good reminder that those thoughts hurt you, your identity. So stop them right away. And the D. The D stands for declare. There is a huge difference between listening to yourself and talking to yourself. You see, listening to yourself is something. It just happens. You're going to have automatic negative thoughts popping up all the time. Maybe you can't help that. But when you listen to them and you stop them, you can talk to yourself and you can say something that serves you and you can declare something that is in line with the new identity that you want to have. And so I told him, how about your new declaration is I deserve to perform at my best. And he said, I like that. Okay, I want you to do this for the next ten days. Listen, stop. I deserve to perform at my best. Exam day finally came. Thousand candidates going into this very prestigious university sitting for the exam. Two days later, the results were there. And this is how they do this. They print out the names of the thousand candidates, they stick them to the walls. Very high tech. So. So they stick the papers to the walls. And this guy needs to walk into the hallway and look for his name. And so he walks in there. He tells me, I walk in there, and I start looking for my name. And I go straight to the top 100, which is a place I would normally fall into. My name is not there. Top 80. My name is not there. I keep on going, keep on going. Top 50. My name is not there. Top 30. My name is not there. By now I'm sweating. My palms are getting all sweaty. My heart is really top 20. My name is not there. Top 10, 9, 8, 7, 6. My name is not there. And he goes, did I not even make it to the top 100? And so he says, as I'm walking, dragging myself back, feeling so frustrated and sad that this didn't happen. And I'm walking myself back, and suddenly I get a bump from a friend who carries me by the hand and says, come, Come and look. This. Check this out. You came out first. You came out first. And you see, this was more than a wristband and an affirmation. This was a change of identity. And a change of identity can happen fast. I have seen this happening hundreds and thousands of times. It can happen fast when we understand that the formula of success that we were taught is incomplete.
